“Changing Wardrobe” Part Two
Ephesians 4:32-5:2
REVIEW
I. Our Wealth and Worth In Christ 1-3
II. Our Worthy Walk in Christ 4-6
A. Live in Unity 4:1-16
B. Live in Newness of life 4:17-24
C. Live in Love 4:17-24
1. Speak truth not falsehood 4:25
2. Be angry without sinning 4:26-27
3. Stop stealing but work with your hands to give 4:28
4. Speak with your mouth to encourage and energize not demoralize 4:29
5. Stop grieving the Holy Spirit 4:30
As dearly loved children of God’s family we must purge all hostility
and continually practice harmony by continual renewing of the heart.
6. Let God purge the hostility within us 4:31
a. Purge all manner of Bitterness
b. Purge all manner of Wrath
c. Purge all manner of Anger
d. Purge all manner of Clamor
e. Purge all manner of Slander
f. Purge all manner of Malice
There is a difference between disagreement and hostility. There is a difference between a heated discussion and a hostile discussion. The difference comes from the condition of the heart; self-centered or selfless. The flip side is to practice the behavior that promotes harmony. Purge hostility; promote harmony.
7. Practice harmony and love for one another 4:32-5:2
Whereas the common thread in the old clothes was hostility. The dominating theme of the new clothes is love and harmony. Before we look at the specifics offered in 4:32, let’s jump ahead to the summary in 5:1-2. Paul called for relationships with people to be characterized by love.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and live in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2
The “therefore” refers to his discussion of specific hostile behaviors that need to be purged and specific harmonious behavior that need to be practiced. It concludes with a summary of what has just been just previously proposed. God’s chief character feature is love and it should also be the primary attribute of His kids. We are called to “continually be imitators of God”. (Present tense command)
We are to mimic His love. The Greek word here is “mimetes” from which we get our English word mimic. Like Father, like child.
Do people recognize in us the family resemblance to God in the area of loving?
Oh what a loving person! Look how he really loves people!
When we love like He loves, we are imitating Him. Paul offered a motivation to make love the dominating factor in our relationships. We are instructed to love others on the basis of God’s great love for us. “As dearly love children.”
This is not an isolated occurrence of such motivation to love others. There are many passages that urge us to love others on the basis of God’s deep love for us. So many fail to fully grasp the amazing depth of love the Father has for us. Paul prayed earlier (3:19) that they would come to fully know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge which is the foundation of being filled with His nature (love). We could cite numerous earthly examples of extreme love.
But none compare to the love our Heavenly Father has for His children or the length He went to demonstrate that love.
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom 5:6-8
Earlier, Paul strung together a whole list of examples of God’s love for rebellious sinners.
But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7
Paul was clear about how powerful God’s love for us really is in Romans 8 where he affirms that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. Paul also included here in this passage a model by which we are to measure true love. We are to love others just as, or in the same way, Jesus loves us and sacrificed His life for us. He died FOR us.
He suffered death that we might enjoy life. He came to earth that we might inherit heaven.
What was His motivation? It was an offering and sacrifice of love to His Father. Jesus died for us because of the love He had for the Father. His sacrifice was an act of love for the Father.
The test of genuine love is rather simple. How would Jesus love? How would Jesus respond?
What would Jesus do?
When we love others because God loves us and love others as a demonstration of our love for Him the same way that Jesus demonstrated His unconditional love for us as a demonstration of His love for the Father, it smells good to God; it pleases God.
Fresh baked bread, apple pie, pot roast, turkey dinner, roses, lavender, and vanilla.
When we don’t love like Jesus, well that emits quite a different odor.
Jesus made it clear that acts of sacrificial love extended to people are views as acts of love extended to Him. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, tend the sick, forgive the offensive, water the thirsty, give to the needy, serve the helpless, support the missionaries, pray.
Whatever act of love we extend to people, we do in service to God. It becomes an offering and sacrificial service of love to God.
Love is a much misunderstood concept. We use the word love to mean any number of things.
I love pizza or some other food.
What we really mean is that food brings me a warm feeling or satisfies my tastes.
Even when couples verbalize their love for one another, what they sometimes really mean is “you make me feel good.”
Many are in love with the feeling of love. That is not the focus of the kind of love with which God tells us to love others.
The Greeks had four different terms to help differentiate between the differing concepts.
Eros (feeling love) – you make me feel good
Storge (family love) – you are part of my family
Philos (friendship love) – I enjoy your company
Agape (foundational love) – I choose to invest in your welfare
Love begins with and inner DESIRE to meaningfully connect with people
that generates a DECISION to pursue meaningful connection
and culminates in DEEDS which demonstrate care and promote community.
Whereas all the other levels of love involve some sort of mutual benefit causing an emotional bonding, the love called for here is an act of the will regardless of personal benefit that chooses to connect and care for someone. It is a love that springs from the character of the one loving rather than the charm of the one being loved. Paul mentions just a few pieces of the genuine love suit to be sure to wear in public. All of the following commands are in the present tense indicating that they are to be a habit of our lives. That is why we are commanded to continually walk or live in love. Love is to be our way of living. Love for God and others must direct every decision. Unlike the hostility generating actions motivated by self-centeredness, we are to practice harmony generating actions motivated by selfless love for people. Just as the actions listed in the previous verse grow out of a selfish heart of hostility, these actions flow out of a selfless heart of love.
As dearly loved children of God’s family we must purge all hostility
and continually practice harmony by continual renewing of the heart.
a. Become continually kind
The literal meaning of this word has to do with being useful or helpful to someone else.
It describes someone who is disposed to do good things for others.
The Greeks defined this quality as the disposition of mind which thinks as much of its neighbor’s affairs as it does of its own. Kindness has learned the secret of looking outwards all the time, and not inwards. Barclay's Daily Study Bible (NT).
In chapter 1, Paul reflected on the demonstration of God's kindness toward us for eternity.
He will accomplish useful and helpful things for us through all eternity. Luke made an interesting comment regarding God’s love demonstrated by kindness.
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:35-36
There are some things that God provides for His creatures in spite of their personal relationship to Him. When we are kind as God is kind, we authenticate our relationship to God as our father. His kindness is not just for those who might deserve it. He is kind even to ungrateful and evil men. The whole context of that passage is about loving the unlovable.
Love shines brightest against the black backdrop of a broken undeserving world. Think about a glaring example of kindness shown. I am sure you can also think of incidents of cruelty or unkindness. Proudly wear the Father’s coat of kindness.
b. Become continually tenderhearted
This is also translated compassionate, having pity or compassion toward the distress of others.
Paul includes a heart of compassion in his letter to the Colossians concerning kingdom wear.
Rather than a heart that is callous toward other people, Paul calls for a heart that is soft and compassionate toward the plight of other people. This a term used to describe how Jesus felt toward those He encountered. We are continually bombarded by the media with the suffering of people all around the world. In order to protect our emotional system from overload we can sometimes develop a callous attitude toward the suffering of others. There is so much suffering we cannot possibly hope to address it all. We often feel paralyzed to help. Yet God wants us to become tenderhearted to those around us or that He brings into our sphere of influence that we can help. We must never intentionally close our heart to needs around us.
But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:17-18
Think of examples of a tender heart, compassion, empathy. A closed heart is pretty obvious.
May we willing put on God’s coat of compassion.
c. Become continually forgiving
We’ve covered forgiveness in previous messages in greater detail. The thing to note here is the model of forgiveness offered. We are to forgive others AS God has forgiven us. WE are to forgive other in the same way and with the same criteria that God forgives us. Not only are we called to continually practice this, but Jesus taught His disciples to pray for it.
“Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us.”
We are not only to do to others as we would want them to do for us. We are to do for others what we would want GOD to do for us.
Would we want Him to use our criteria for forgiving others for us? (Three strikes you’re out.)
Would we want Him to treat us the way we treat others?
You don’t act right, live right, look right. You don’t make me feel good. You are no longer useful to me. It is clear that kindness, compassion and forgiveness is the antidote for bitterness and hostility. The tragedy of an unforgiving heart is that it limits the freedom of the one unwilling to forgive. You find yourself on guard duty to those you hold captive by your bitterness. It is a 24/7 job because no one else wants to guard your prisoners. Release the captives to your bitterness and you will find new freedom. Not because they deserve it.
Not because they earned it or even asked for it.
Forgive because Jesus forgave us.
Forgive because Jesus instructed us to love and forgive.
Forgive because it releases us form the bondage and damage of bitterness.
Forgive because it genuinely reflects the loving heart of our Heavenly Father.
Paul tells us to be kind, have compassion, forgive, love. These are the foundation for harmony in the body of Christ. It is easy to see how these characteristics are in direct contrast to the ones mentioned previously. The heart of God's community centers on how we relate to one another. It's easy to practice these things when relationships are rewarding and fulfilling.
The place where these virtues shine most is against the dark backdrop of rebellious nature, hurts, offenses, rejection and difficult people as well as life’s difficulties. Paul told the Colossians to put on love, beyond all the other things that should characterize us as followers of Christ, as the perfect bond of unity. James affirmed that love is the perfect law. If we truly love, all the other beneficial actions will spontaneously follow. Jesus said such love for one another distinguishes us as serious followers of Jesus. All issues stemming from our relationship with people, center in the heart. What resides in the heart dictates our attitudes and actions. Are we directed by love or self-centeredness? The key to changing behavior is a fundamental change of heart.
Romans makes a very interesting assertion.
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
I believe that the selfless love plainly prescribed by God is sufficiently supplied by God. His love has been liberally poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit of love who dwells in us. We have the capacity to love with this love because we have the Holy Spirit. The only thing stopping that love is our decisions to block it. Quench Him – refuse Him – grieve Him.
It is our decision to live for self which prevents God’s love from freely flowing out to others.
What does it look like to love like this?
It doesn’t stop with showing kindness, compassion and forgiveness.
It includes all the other elements of harmony and unity and loving relationships.
The parallel passage in Colossians repeats some and adds other characteristics.
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15
As we allow God to continually purge the pockets of selfishness that raise their ugly head and infect our hearts which affects our behavior, we will find his love refining all of our relationships and we can then truly say that we are living in love.
The most extensive description of this kind of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13.
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
Here is a good heart health check list for a loving heart from this passage.
Long-tempered Short tempered
Kind Unkind / apathetic
Supportive Jealous
Build up others Build up self
Tolerant Easily provoked
Acts thoughtfully Acts shamefully
Satisfies others Satisfies Self
Forgives sin Tracks sin
Rejoices in truth Rejoices in evil
Protects all Reveals /exposes all
Believes all Questions all
Hopes for the best Expects the worst
Endures difficulty Evades difficulty
Never fails Easily quits
It is really overwhelming to deal with all the things listed here and elsewhere by Paul that should be either purged or practiced.
The key is to allow God to change our heart and the actions prohibited or prescribed will naturally follow. When we truly love God and people, we will manifest that love to Him and those around us. The purpose of the list is to expose our lack of love and our need for continual heart change. Suit up for kingdom ministry. Discard the old hostile clothes and don the new clothes of harmony and love. Purge bitterness and practice blessing. Purge coldness and cultivate compassion. Purge hurtful words and offer helpful encouraging words. Paul recommends an extensive wardrobe which includes, humility, gentleness, long-suffering, loving forbearance, kindness, compassion, forgiveness. Of course there are more, but these are some of the essential garments for your closet. These are the clothes of the new kingdom.
These are the kinds of things that will characterize life in the eternal kingdom.
They are the behaviors practice by those living in love.
As dearly loved children of God’s family we must purge all hostility
and continually practice harmony by continual renewing of the heart.
Reflect
How’s my love life?
Repent
Forgive me Lord!
I confess my self-centered focus and failure to love as Jesus loves.
Renew
Change my heart O God.
Purge the selfishness pour out the selfless love available by Your Holy Spirit.
Resolve
I purpose to…
