“An Encouraging Word”
Ephesians 4:29
REVIEW
I. Our Wealth and Worth In Christ 1-3
II. Our Worthy Walk in Christ 4-6
A. Live in Unity 4:1-16
B. Live in Newness of life 4:17-24
C. Live in Love 4:17-24
1. Speak truth not falsehood 4:25
2. Be angry without sinning 4:26-27
3. Work with your hands to give to others. 4:28
4. Speak with your mouth to encourage others 4:29
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
Speak with your mouth to encourage and energize.
Paul instructed the Ephesians to work with their hands so they have something helpful to give. He instructed them to open their mouth so they would have something encouraging to say. God intended the church to be like the old west.
“For seldom was heard a discouraging word…”
Every one of us have heard and probably repeated a little verse that is as far from the truth as one can get.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but name (words) will never hurt me.
That simply is not true.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones and words can also hurt me.
The power of words is breath taking
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Prov 18:21
Massive movements in history have been the result of words.
Paul includes some very important counsel concerning our use of words.
We find another double-sided instruction. “Stop every unwholesome worthless word -- only speak words that build and energize.
For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses' mouths so that they may obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed, and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. James 3:2-10
That is why he urges us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. There are words that give life and words that kill. Peter literally links length and quality of life to our use of words.
For, "THE ONE WHO DESIRES LIFE, TO LOVE AND SEE GOOD DAYS, MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM SPEAKING DECEIT. 1 Peter 3:10 (quote from Psalm 34:12-13)
Those who are changed from the core pay attention to what comes out of their mouth because what comes out of our mouth reveals the inner condition the soul.
You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil. Mat 12:34-35
James was very pointed about the necessity of bridling our tongue.
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. James 1:26
Many have spent their lives longing and searching for that special verbal affirmation called a blessing from some significant person in their life. We live by words of encouragement.
How many athletes have gone the extra mile because of a word of encouragement? Nearly everything we do in life revolves around the use of words. Our words can bless others. Our mouth can also inflict piercing pain and penetrate the inner soul. Many can attest to the power and pain of words spoken to them. Unfortunately discouraging words pack more punch that encouraging ones. One negative comment can knock out a hundred positive ones. When we speak of words out of our mouth we are really talking about the whole issue of communication which includes verbal and non-verbal communication.
Scripture exposes a number of sins of the tongue.
Lying tongue
Gossiping Tongue
Cursing tongue
Backbiting tongue
Arrogant tongue
Proud tongue
Critical tongue
Cutting tongue
Destructive tongue
Discouraging tongue
Flattering tongue
Wagging tongue
Bitter tongue
Abusive tongue
Foul tongue
Smooth tongue
Perverse, perverted tongue
Wicked tongue
Slandering tongue
Foolish tongue
Rash tongue
Treacherous tongue
Whispering tongue
Hasty tongue
Fiery Tongue
Grumbling, complaining tongue
Argumentative tongue
Striving tongue
Scripture also encourages a positive use of the tongue.
Gracious tongue
Fruitful tongue
Truthful tongue
Comforting tongue
Nourishing tongue
Wise tongue
Gentle tongue
Pure tongue
Sensible tongue
Sound tongue
Sweet tongue
Persuasive tongue
Gracious tongue
Restrained tongue
Upright tongue
Pleasant tongue
Healing tongue
Bridled tongue
Righteous tongue
Guarded tongue
Soft tongue
Exhorting tongue
Blessing tongue
Preserving tongue
Reflective tongue
It is obvious that the subject of words and communication runs all through the Bible.
Whatever is going on in the untransformed areas of the soul will eventually erupt out of the mouth.
James says if any man doesn’t sin in what he says -- is pure on the inside.
Paul simplifies and clarifies this far-reaching subject in another one of his two sided coins of Kingdom conduct. Paul breaks our words into two categories.
Worthless words
Encouraging words
Worthless Words
Paul tells us to put a guard on our mouths and block every “unwholesome” word from coming out of our mouth. The word used here is the word for rotten or corrupt. It is used to describe rotten fruit therefore worthless and distasteful. Paul told the Ephesians to stop letting every worthless word proceed from your mouth. Words either give grace and life OR they bring discouragement and death. They are either helpful words that build up OR they are hurtful words that tear down and destroy. They either bless or curse. They are either refreshing winning fruit or they are rotten, worthless fruit.
We can curse others by our words.
With it (our tongue) we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. James 3:9-10
The word for curse is to “pray against”. To curse something is to bind it up, hold it back, obstruct its intended design.
Just the right words can wilt others.
Words can destroy reputations.
Words deflate motivation.
Words steal joy.
Words cause defeat.
Words cut and wound the heart.
Words damage the soul.
Words damage relationships
Words incite wars.
Words spread hate. (Hitler)
Words break resolves.
Words lead astray.
Words degrade.
Words grieve the spirit.
We are to stop letting every worthless word proceed from our mouths.
Words that criticize.
Words gossip
Words that grumble.
Words that complain.
Words that discourage.
Words that degrade.
Words that dishonor.
Words that are course and suggestive
Words that dishonor to God.
Words that curse others.
Words that hurt and abuse.
Words that shame.
Words that devalue.
In order to best guard and control our tongue, we must examine our soul, the source of our words.
Two Sources for Death words
The Crooked heart
You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil. And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned. Mat 12:34-37
What comes out of our mouth eventually reveals what is in the heart. Just as anger alerts us to crookedness and perversion in the soul, so worthless and wicked words should alert us to trouble brewing in the soul.
He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles." Prov 21:23
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life." Prov 4:23
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Prov 15:28
The Pit of Hell
It is clear that we wage a spiritual battle. The tongue is an instrument. Paul urges in Romans 6 not to yield our members to the enemy as instruments or unrighteousness but to yield every member of our body (including our tongue) to God as those who have already been made alive in the core as a weapon or instrument of righteousness.
Satan tries to use us to speak words of death rather than life.
• The tongue is a fire, the world of iniquity and defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of life, and is set on fire by hell itself. James 3
• Satan used Peter to discourage Jesus yet later God used Peter to confess Jesus
• Ananias and Sapphira Satan put in their heart to lie.
Even though we are talking about the tongue, we are really talking about the heart which controls the tongue. Paul exhorts those made alive in Christ, those who have all been adopted and placed in a new Kingdom relationship with God and the people of God, to monitor and radically alter our patterns of communication. That change is only possible by cleansing, transforming and continually guarding the heart.
Words of Life
The flip side of Paul’s coin of conversation has to do with encouragement.
Speak only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
Words build up. Words give grace. To build someone up means to encourage, strengthen, cause to grow, come along side. To give grace means to energize or empower.
Encouraging words energize others.“Grace” can refer to blessing, resource power, and encouragement. Come to the throne of “grace” where you may find grace to help in time of need.
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds persuasiveness to his lips.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Prov 16:23-24
Everyone needs a word of encouragement from time to time. We are to speak encouraging words at just the right time.
'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.” Mat 4:4
For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Cor 1:18
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Heb 4:12
There was something obviously different about the words of Jesus. They were amazed, astounded, enticed by what and how He spoke.
Paul encourages us to harness the power of words for God’s purposes. Earlier he urged us to be truth speakers. We are to commit ourselves to a ministry of encouragement to others through the careful selection and communication of words intended to effectually influence them toward deeper relationship with God. Hebrews 3:13 points out that it is absolutely crucial to encourage one another daily; especially as the end times approach.
The purpose is to prevent us from becoming hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Encouragement nearly always comes through words.
How delightful is a timely word. Prov 25:23
The words we are to speak are to be based on God’s words to us. The Word of reconciliation has been charged to us. We have been called to proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us.
Words of encouragement.
Words of exhortation.
Words of warning.
Words of reminder.
Words of wisdom.
Words of comfort.
Words of motivation.
Words of peace.
Words of love.
Words of faith.
Words of hope.
Therefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Th 4:18
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person. Col 4:6
Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.1 Tim 4:12
Just as we are to use the fruit of our hands to meet the physical needs of others.
Paul exhorts us here to use the fruit of our mouth to meet the psychological needs of other.
By our words we may build one another up or we may tear one another down. We can either energize or demoralize and discourage by our words.
Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Col 3:16-17
• APPLICATION
Wise men talk because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
This passage instructs us to eliminate EVERY worthless word. The passage instructs us to allow ONLY words that build and energize. Much of what we say is surface communication that neither destroys nor develops. Much of our conversation makes little impact in the lives of others. Words that neither destroy nor develop really come under the category of worthless words. Daily encouragement prevents hardness of heart. Encouragement provides motivation for living “grace”. Encouragement comforts.
1 Tim 4:6 In pointing out these things (truth) to the brethren, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following."
We all long to hear words of life. We long to hear the affirmation of Christ and one another.
We need continual reminders of the truth that sets us free. That truth comes from our ministry to one another.
CONCLUSION
A careless word may kindle strife.
A cruel word may wreck a life,
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill,
A gracious word may smooth the way’
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.
What are we going to do? Do people leave our company encouraged or discouraged; energized or drained? Transformed Kingdom living includes:
Speaking Truth
Responding to evil without sin
Working with our hands so we have something to give that will meet needs.
Guarding our mouth so that we have something to say that will meet needs.
Will you dedicate your tongue to His purposes this morning? In many ways sins of the tongue are more soul damaging than stealing. You can take back or replace what you have stolen.
Words, once they get out of our mouth, are impossible to take back.
May we resolve to become kingdom energizers and builders.
Only speak words that encourage and energize.
Tongue Tamers from Proverbs
"When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." Prov 10:19
"The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright will deliver them." Prov 12:6
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Prov 16:24
"A worthless man digs up evil, while his words are as a scorching fire.
A perverse man spreads strife , and a slanderer separates intimate friends." Prov 16:27-28
"The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver, the heart of the wicked is worth little. 21 The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of understanding. Prov 10:20-22
"The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut out. 32 The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, But the mouth of the wicked, what is perverted." Prov 10:31-32
"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Truthful lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only for a moment." Prov 12:18-19
"A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit." Prov 15:4
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Prov 18:21
"The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of understanding." Prov 10:21
"The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverted." Prov 10:32
"An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will escape from trouble." Prov 12:13
"The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." Prov 13:3
"In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them." Prov 14:3
"The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not so." Prov 15:7
"The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence." Prov 10:11
"The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut out." Prov 10:31
"With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered." Prov 11:9
"From the fruit of a man's mouth he enjoys good, but the desire of the treacherous is violence.
The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." Prov 13:2-3
