“Defusing sinful anger through Soul Care”
Ephesians 4:26-27
I. ANALYZE ANGER
A. Understand the character of anger
It is an internal emotional power surge in response to a perceived evil, attack or uncomfortable situation.
B. Consider the purpose of anger
It alerts us to evil in our own soul or in the world around us.
Anger is the soul’s response to perceived or actual events, people or circumstances considered wrong, evil or threatening to my well-being or to those I love that empowers me to act in relation to God’s purposes.
C. Discover the cause of anger
My response to an event has more to do with something inside me than the event itself.
1. Beliefs, values, convictions – the way we THINK things should be
2. Personal expectations / goals – the way we WANT things to be
3. Personal perception – the way we PERCEIVE things to be
D. Follow the course of anger (circle of emotion)
1. It begins in the soul (the fuel)
2. It is triggered by and person or event (the igniter)
3. It generates an emotional Response
4. It requires personal reflection
5. It leads to a chosen response or action
E. Address the soul issues that intensify anger
If you understand the relationship between anger and your beliefs, expectations and perceptions, you will be able to direct godly anger to a Spirit-directed response that brings about godly purposes or defuse fleshly anger by adjusting those beliefs, expectations and perceptions according to truth. Anger is an automatic response to perceived evil. My perception and interpretation of any event is sometimes clouded by issues in the soul.
There are a number of soul issues that activate an agitated state of mind/emotion or intensify my anger or they may derail a response to legitimate anger by triggering an illegitimate reflection or response. Illus: Certain chemicals are harmless by themselves but become toxic when combined with another chemical. (Chlorine and ammonia)
Responses to life events become toxic because of the presence of certain other unmanaged issues in our life.
1. Unaddressed Sin -- Guilt
Failure to regularly and properly address sin in our life stirs or intensifies our anger. Guilt causes us to overreact to the same sin in others that we ourselves have failed to address.
A certain Televangelist used to rant and rave about prostitution all the time. (overreaction)
It turned out he had been secretly soliciting the services of prostitutes on a regular basis.
Prolonged guilt over unaddressed sin can cultivate an angry spirit; a general state of agitation.
Unconfessed and unaddressed sin in our life obstructs our ability to effectively evaluate sin in others. Unaddressed sin distorts our conscience which in turn affects how we process life.
We will either overreact or under respond.
The “Log Jam”
Jesus exhorts us to address the “log” in your own eye before we attempt to challenge “the splinter” from the eye of others. (Luke 6:41-42 or Matt 7:5). Notice the colossal contrast between log and splinter. The “log” (significant issue) in our life causes us to exaggerate the “splinter” (insignificant issue) in someone else’s life.
King David
King David overreacted to evil in 2 Samuel 12 when Nathan the prophet recounted a little imaginary story about the confiscation and slaughter of a poor man’s lamb by a rich man.
David’s guilt over his own sin with Bathsheba had raged for at least eight months causing him to react beyond reason. (The baby was born shortly after the confrontation with Nathan.)
Psalm 32 reveals the internal struggle David felt during that time.
Yes, David reacted to a bona fide injustice. Yet David’s response was completely unreasonable due to his own guilty conscience.
Then David's anger burned greatly against the man, and he said to Nathan, "As the LORD lives, surely the man who has done this deserves to die. He must make restitution for the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing and had no compassion." 2 Samuel 12:5-6
David’s anger defused immediately when Nathan caused him to realize the even greater gravity of his own sin.
Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." 2 Samuel 12:13
Corinthian Unconfessed Immorality
The people of Corinth failed to properly address past sin in their life was affecting their present relationships.
I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there may be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances; I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have sinned in the past and not repented of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practiced. 2 Cor 12:20-21
There is an unmistakable connection between unaddressed sensual sin and anger. Sensuality involves a severe case of self-centeredness. The self-centered focus on personal pleasure to the disregard of principle or person makes anyone who blocks my pursuit of pleasure an object of my anger. To deny satisfaction to an “out of control fleshly focus” stirs anger. It carries the same effect as denying a substance abuser their substance of choice. Paul continually urges Christians to gain and maintain a clear conscience. Without a clear conscience, we will be unable to respond effectively to legitimate evil. We become too self-focused to see others from God’s perspective or respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Sin also taints our beliefs, expectations and perceptions and distorts any kind of redemptive response. We will either ignore certain Scripture or misinterpret to avoid its conviction of our sin. We overreact to the things in others that we have not addressed in our own life. Only sensitivity to the Word and regular confession will protect us and defuse sinful anger.
2. Doubt / Fear / Independence
Failure to entrust our lives to God lies at the core of a great deal of fleshly anger. When we presume certain expectations of God and God “fails” to come through according to our expectations, we withdraw our trust in His essential goodness and take life in our own hands on our own terms. This unbelief in the person and purposes of God breeds unhealthy independence from God and codependency on others which continually triggers anger when people fail to come through for us. We expect people to produce what God won’t and they can’t. This unbelief also breeds fear which in turn breeds more anger and frustration.
Anger is a common response to fear and insecurity. When our faith in God and His Word falters, we are left without a regulator for our beliefs, expectations and perceptions which increases the possibility for stinking thinking that makes us susceptible to fleshly anger and fleshly responses to anger. The key to dealing with this intensifier of anger is repentance and faith. Entrusting our soul into the hands of a good and wise God enables us to view life and the events of a life in a fallen world with an eternal outlook rather than an angry one. Understanding our wealth and worth in Christ insulates us from a good deal of anger.
If God allows it, there must be an eternal purpose and I have the privilege of participating in eternity as His humble servant.
Remember!
God is to wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand, when you can’t see his plan,
when you can’t trace His hand TRUST HIS HEART.
3. Self-centered focus / pride
If you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. James 4:1-2
Failure to surrender my life as God’s instrument in the life of others sets me up for anger. God is clear in James that self-centered ambition is the source of sinful anger resulting in a succession of broken relationships. It is impossible be to be self-centered and others-centered at the same time. I must be willing to yield my personal rights into the care of my loving Creator.
Many of you remember the “Pineapple Story”; a story about the missionary who continually battled anger when he tried to fight the local natives for the right to his pineapple harvest. Yes it was wrong for them to steal his pineapples but his reaction prevented him from reaching their hearts. We will never win or impact those we resent. Only when he learned to surrender his rights to God did he find freedom from anger and a way to win the people to Christ and more pineapple than he could eat. Failure to let God be the privilege giver and continually fighting for our rights is at the core of much of our anger.
Much of our anger is due to a selfish focus.
Someone didn’t help me or didn’t come through for me.
Someone didn’t fix my problem or didn’t make me feel better.
Someone disturbed my comfort and wasn’t considerate of my time and effort.
Someone didn’t acknowledge my talent or didn’t respond the way I wanted them to.
When life becomes all about ME, there will be a constant struggle with anger.
When my expectations of others center on what will benefit me or make me feel better, I will not only be disappointed but angry all the time.
They should or shouldn’t have…
We learn at an early age to use anger to manipulate others into doing things my way. We use anger to protect ourselves. We use anger to insulate ourselves from pain.
One man continually struggled with uncontrollable anger. He only began to get a handle on it when he came to understand its childhood connection. He could always get his mother to do what he wanted by throwing a tantrum. He continued to use his anger to manipulate others on into his adult life resulting in the disintegration of every significant relationship. He used anger to get his own way not as a motivation to address evil.
We must continually evaluate the foundation of our anger. Anger generated out of self-centeredness must be defused by continually surrendering ourselves to His purposes and offering our lives to His service and the service of others. Paul’s Christ-centered focus enabled him to respond to a multitude of negative circumstances with joy rather than anger.
4. Bitterness / Unforgiveness
Any failure or refusal to forgive others breeds bitterness that sensitizes us to any offense.
It is like an infected wound that keeps getting bumped. This super-sensitivity prevents us from responding to the difficulties of life with wisdom and eternal purpose. This bitterness affects all our relationships and amplifies anger beyond management. We spent several weeks on the devastating consequences of a failure to forgive and the divine cure for bitterness.
5. Old wounds
Wounds may heal but they are still leave scars and reside in our memories. Wounds, especially from childhood, caused the development of certain brain functions. Since young children do not have the reasoning capability as adults or the ability to fully understand and process the emotions generated by painful events, the events get stored as emotions. When events similar to the ones experienced in childhood occur, the emotion erupts before the reasoning can run a diagnostic. A rewiring of the thinking needs to take place in order to learn to process differently. Those past wounds will affect how we perceive and respond to people and events.
6. Demonic Strongholds
According to James 3 and 4, selfishness, anger, strained and broken relationships find roots in the world, the flesh and demonic activity. Ephesians 4 indicates that prolonged anger gives “place” to the devil. (The Greek word “topos” (topography) refers to a literal place or geographical location I call a “beachhead”.)
Saul’s unaddressed selfish focus and ambition allowed an evil spirit to establish a stronghold.
(1 Sam 16). It resulted in an unreasonable and uncontrollable homicidal rage.
Anger is the natural result of a self-centered thinking. Left unaddressed, that becomes a beachhead for demonic activity. Satan’s soldiers first intensify our own fleshly responses and eventually manifest their own unreasonable anger though us. Anger will erupt even over the smallest things. There will be little logic to it and in extreme cases, completely bypass the thought process of the victim. We are left only with an unmanageable feeling of agitation and sometimes unexplainable rage that defies our best efforts to control. Fleshly anger must be quickly defused or it will become a demonic stronghold requiring rigorous efforts to eradicate.
7. Old Ruts or Patterns of response
Certain responses to evil and its corresponding emotion become automatic over the years.
They soon become reactions rather than responses. We learn these as we grow up. Over time, they become automatic expressions and we react with anger without any conscious consideration of purpose or exploration of faulty beliefs or soul issues. Our aim is to establish new patterns of righteous response. We want to take the time to reflect on what will accomplish God’s purposes. Certain sinful self-protective patterns become established to protect us from the pain associated with difficult relationships. We need to repent of our selfish self-protection and recommit ourselves to selfless service to others in spite of the threat of rejection and ridicule.
When the conscience is clean...
When we hold fast to a basic faith in God’s goodness...
When we offer our lives in humble service as God’s tool in the lives of others...
When we chose to fully forgive those who have hurt us as well as ourselves....
When we reclaim any territory surrendered to the evil one through prolonged anger...
When we allow God to heal old wounds and give us new perspective…
When we establish new ruts of righteousness response...
THEN...the intensity of our anger becomes manageable and we can see clearly enough to make the necessary adjustment to our beliefs, expectations and convictions and reflect on a godly response to painful events intended to bring about the eternal purposes of God.
F. Consider the conduct (expression) of anger
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Prov 15:28
What do we do with our angry thoughts and emotions?
We must do something about the emotional red light.
Never healthy to deny them. “I’m not angry!”
Never healthy to bury them or internalize them. “I shouldn’t be angry!”
Never healthy to express them without a godly purpose.
Anger must be addressed. We must respond to anger. We must either address issues in our life or evil in our world. We will explore these next week under the control of anger section of our series.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalms 139:23-24
