Understanding Anger”
Ephesians 4:26-27
REVIEW
I. Our Wealth and Worth In Christ 1-3
II. Our Worthy Walk in Christ 4-6
A. Live in Unity 4:1-16
B. Live in Newness of life 4:17-24
C. Live in Love 4:17-24
1. Speak truth not falsehood 4:25
2. Be angry without sinning 4:26-27
Everybody deals with anger. We live in a world filled with anger; anger at everything. That anger leads to heart ache and even death. Paul told the Ephesian Christians to embrace anger as a God-sanctioned emotion. God feels anger and wrath. It is an emotion that affects the physical body but goes even deeper than the physical. God feels the emotion of anger apart from having a physical body. It is also true that since Jesus took on flesh, God now also knows the physical aspects of anger.
The basic instruction contained in our text is simple.
Direct godly anger as a God-sanctioned emotion without sinning.
Defuse sinful anger quickly.
OR
Embrace godly anger.
Eliminate sinful anger.
Paul instructs us to experience anger and wisely includes some definite disclaimers.
Be careful not to allow it to turn putrid instead of being productive.
Be careful not to allow it to simmer for a long period of time.
Be careful not to give the devil a foothold in your life in the process.
On the flip side, we are to allow God to eradicate (put away) all wrong anger from our life.
Later he encourages us to replace sinful angry responses with positive relational attributes.
First, we need to understand it.
Second, we need to direct it or defuse it.
I think that bulk of the anger we experience in our life is mostly motivated from faulty thinking in the soul rather than from godly purposes and principles. There are many more passages that address sinful anger and its destructive expression than godly anger.
Even our current passage tells us to allow God to eradicate all wrath and anger and slander.
Anger became an issue in the very first family. “Cain became very angry.”
Listen to these proverbs on the subject.
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute. Proverbs 15:18
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32
A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression. Proverbs 19:11
A man of great anger will bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again. Proverbs 19:19
Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself. 22:24-25
An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. Proverbs 29:22
For the churning of milk produces butter, and pressing the nose brings forth blood; so the churning of anger produces strife. Proverbs 30:33
Solomon advises young people to deal with this issue before it takes a toll on their life.
Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9
0 So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting. Ecc 11:10
Paul includes anger in the list of signs of fleshly living. James calls us to be slow to anger.
He also confirms that fleshly anger does not bring about God’s purposes. (James 1:19-20)
I. ANALYZE ANGER
A. Understand the character of anger
1. Biblical terms
2. The nature of anger
Anger basically is an internal power surge or internal rumbling that readiness us for action related to God’s righteous purposes.
When motivated by wrong thinking, it motivates harmful actions contrary to God’s purposes.
When motivated by godly thinking, it motivates actions intended to further God’s purposes.
Anger is like fire.
Fire can be employed for helpful or harmful purposes.
Its value is determined by its application.
B. Consider the purpose of anger
What does anger get us ready to do? Anger is a powerful heightened state of emotion that readies us to address evil in our world.
It alerts us to evil in our own soul or in the world around us.
It motivates us to act powerfully to renew our thinking, resolve conflict, restore community or do what we can to restrain evil. Nowhere in this list of Biblical purposes will we find that anger is to empower us to exact vengeance, control or manipulate people, vent, revile or return evil for evil done to us. So often our expression of anger only has a self-centered purpose. God intends our anger to motivate actions related to His purposes.
C. Discover the cause of anger
My response to an event has more to do with something inside me than the event itself. How does the same event trigger anger in one person but on another? Bad driving or getting cut off in traffic generally does not stir anything in me but to let him fly on by. I know that I will catch up to him at the next stop light and he didn’t get there any faster. Taking the Lord’s name in vain obviously has little effect on some but infuriates others. Dirty dishes in the sink seemed not to bother my mother at all, yet others light up like a volcano at one dirty dish left on the counter. What makes the difference? Like most emotions, anger is an emotion stirred by our thought process. It begins in our mental capacity before it triggers our emotional and volitional (will) capacity. It is my personal evaluation of the event or the action that generates the type and intensity of emotional response. The closer my evaluation to God’s eternal declaration, the godlier will be my response. The more inaccurate and selfish my evaluation, the more destructive my response will be. The conditions within my soul determine whether my anger is godly anger or fleshly anger. James is clear that destructive conflict among people comes from a proud selfish focus.
If my soul is not God-centered, neither will my anger be God-centered.
So if we ask what causes anger to rise up in the soul, it has to do with a variety of conditions within our inner person. Anger can arise from either a healthy understanding of God’s standard or an unhealthy focus on my self-centered agenda. Each of us holds personal beliefs, values, convictions, expectations and perceptions concerning life. It is sometimes referred to as a world-view. It has to do with how I process the people and events that take place in my world. Anger arises whenever I perceive a violation of my personal beliefs, core values or expectations. We generally focus on the emotional aspect of anger. In reality, anger is initiated by our thought process. The key to managing our angry feelings will then center in renewing our thinking. We need to take some time to understand that thought process if we are to understand how to direct or defuse anger.
1. Beliefs, values, convictions
Every person lives by some moral code. Everyone holds to particular values of what is important. We call it by different names. Morality, a sense of right and wrong, beliefs, convictions or values. We develop these beliefs or convictions over a lifetime. They are influenced by our culture, our peers, our parents, an inner sense of right and wrong engrained by God in every human heart, and life experiences. Hopefully the bulk of our beliefs and values come from our interaction with Scripture. Over time, these beliefs and convictions either conform to God’s standard or to the devil-directed culture in which we live.
The time of the Biblical judges was a dark period in Israel’s history. It was filled with rampant anarchy, immorality and idolatry. Yet no one recognized it as evil for every man did that which was right in their own eyes. Not too different than today’s culture. Everyone embraces their own idea of what is right and wrong and responds accordingly. Some hold their convictions passionately; others with limited passion. Those are actually preferences rather than convictions. Even a court of law recognizes the difference between convictions and preferences. The degree of passion you embrace your convictions determines the intensity of your anger when those convictions or beliefs are threatened or violated. Beliefs and convictions are the way we think things should be.
Some firmly believe that Christians should ever drink alcoholic beverages. That conviction may be based on a firm belief that Scripture teaches it or perhaps because of a traumatic personal experience or abuse by a relative. A passionate anger may arise in a conversation regarding those convictions or some event that violates those convictions. Others may have strong convictions that alcohol is not forbidden in the Scriptures. Say for some reason you hold to the belief that wearing red in church is immoral and evil. Angry feelings will stir in the soul anytime someone enters church wearing red. Those without such conviction will not give it a second thought.
You honestly believe, based on your convictions that an evil has been committed and the automatic response will be anger. You may not say anything but the emotion arises because of your belief system. In this case, our anger needs to be diffused because it is not based on a true violation of God’s standard but on a personal conviction or preference.
Most firmly believe (and rightly so) that stealing is wrong. It is the eighth commandment.
When we encounter a thief, the natural response in the soul based on our conviction that stealing is wrong is anger. In this case, our anger is a legitimate righteous anger that should be properly directed because it is based on a legitimate violation of God’s standard. God intends anger to motivate us to address evil through the Spirit’s direction. What action or response we take next must also be carefully directed by God’s truth. It is absolutely vital that we embrace God’s truth and continually adjust our beliefs to conform to God’s standard communicated in the Bible.
How much of our anger toward others gets triggered by some personal preference? Some people get hot in an argument because they passionately believe in some political position.
Never talk about politics or religion. Why? They deal with firmly held beliefs and convictions.
The source of self-directed anger boils down to the adoption of some unbiblical belief.
I have to be perfect. I have to please everyone. I have to be liked by everyone.
The first thing to check in analyzing our anger will be your beliefs.
What conviction or value or believe is being violated?
It is Biblical or personal?
Is it God-centered or self-centered?
2. Personal expectations / goals
EXPECTATIONS
We also cultivate certain expectations according to our personal beliefs and convictions
Personal expectations are probably one of the main sources for sinful anger. Mainly this happens because most of our expectations of ourselves and others are either selfish or unrealistic. Expectations have to do with the way we want things to be.
We adopt expectations of people all the time. Everyone should hold the same values as I do.
I expect that people should be perfect all the time. Anger arises in the soul when people fail to perform according to my particular expectation. We must address the personal expectation or the person who did not meet our expectation. It is important to continually address our expectations.
Are they Biblical?
Are they realistic?
Are they God-centered or self-centered?
Are they related to my comfort or God’s kingdom?
Biblical convictions and perspective help to keep these in check.
GOALS
Goals are closely related to expectations. Goals are expectations we desire for ourselves.
Goals are important. They must be carefully crafted or we set ourselves up for anger. Any time our personal expectations or goals include the cooperation of other people or things we become highly susceptible to anger when those goals become blocked.
What happens when we make a goal that the kids keep their room clean. What happens when they don’t? We can desire they keep their room clean, but it can’t be a personal goal. We pray for desires. We work toward personal goals. I can make it a goal to train them, to remind them, to love and motivate them, to find better incentives but I can’t make it my goal to control them. These are all things I can do regardless of their cooperation.
Say I set a goal to set aside every Sunday afternoon for an outdoor BBQ. I am ripe for anger.
Such a goal requires the cooperation of weather, people, health, scheduling, and resources.
I need to adjust my expectations if I am to avoid a continual state of anger.
3. Personal perception
In addition to beliefs and expectations, there is the matter of how I perceive the event.
Perceptions are the way I perceive things to be.
The story of the father on the subway with his three young children perfectly illustrates the connection between perception and anger as well as the influence of beliefs and expectations.
A father and his three children were riding the subway train. The three kids are completely out of control; yelling to each other, crawling over the seats, running up and down the isle. Hostility is high; not only toward the children but the father as well. Finally one severely agitated passenger confronts the father. As if awaking from a trance the father reengages with life. “I am so sorry, you see we are just returning home from the funeral of their mother and beloved wife who was killed in a tragic traffic accident last week. I just don’t know what I am going to do without her.” What happens to people’s anger at this dramatic perception change? Almost instantaneously the anger defuses and a flood of compassion, grieve, perhaps guilt, sympathy rushes in to take its place.
If I perceive the person or event as evil, or perceive ill intent, anger arises whether the intent was actually evil or not. I must continually ask God to help me see life from His perspective and seek to know the truth. I need to do my homework. Realize that usually we don’t have all the pertinent facts.
Anger arises when a person or event either violates or I perceive it to violate my beliefs or expectations.
By the way, the connection between beliefs and expectations and perception relates to any emotion positive or negative. Emotions are birthed in the thinking. That is why God tells us to be transformed (in our behavior) by the renewing of our thinking.
D. Follow the course of anger (circle of emotion)
1. It begins in the soul (the fuel)
It arises out of our beliefs and expectations.
2. It is triggered by and person or event (the igniter)
Anger arises when my beliefs and expectations encounter people, circumstances or events I perceive violates or my beliefs, and expectations.
3. It generates an emotional Response
Anger just is. Anger is an automatic emotion triggered by the interface between my soul and the world. It source determines its character. Flesh generates death. Spirit generates life.
4. It requires personal reflection
Anger is like a red light on the dashboard indicating the urgency to address a malfunction.
The malfunction is either in my soul or in my world. It is either a problem in my beliefs, expectations and perception or there is a legitimate evil that God want to address. It is at this juncture that we must reflect not only on the cause but the course of action that will bring about God’s purposes.
5. It leads to a chosen response or action
It is at this point that we can slide from a sinless emotional response to a sinful action. The Bible offers a number of responses to offenses and evil in our world. There are prohibited responses. There are prescribed responses. There are some optional responses.
We focused on the connection between our beliefs, values, expectations and perceptions.
Are they Biblically based or worldly based?
Are they self-centered or kingdom-centered?
Are they realistic or unrealistic?
In addition to the beliefs, values, expectations of the soul, there are some other factors going on in the soul that radically affect our struggle to direct or defuse anger which we will address next time.
