I think most of us are well familiar with the developmental disorder known as Autism. It seems that its being diagnosed more and more frequently these days. In fact, the CDC estimates that Autism affects one in every 68 children in the US. It’s so common that most of us either have someone in our families that is Autistic or know someone who is. And as you probably know, a person with Autism typically has a very difficult time forming relationships, trusting people or sometimes even communicating with others. And, even though they are usually surrounded by people who desperately love them, their world tends to be a very isolated and lonely one.
But I recently read an article about another disorder that is often described as the opposite of Autism. This one is pretty rare, it affects only one in every 30,000 people in the US. It was first identified in the 1960s and is named after the doctor that discovered it. It’s called Williams Syndrome. It can often be recognized by some very distinct facial features that usually accompany this disorder such as narrow chin, high cheekbones, prominent ears, and upturned noses. The typical presence of these facial features is why it was originally called Elfin Facies syndrome. But, to me, the most intriguing thing about Williams Syndrome is that it tends to cause those who have it to “freely and deeply love everyone.” In fact the article I read was from an interview with Jennifer Latson who wrote a book based on the true story of a 12 year old boy with Williams Syndrome. The book was titled The Boy Who Loved Too Much- A true story of pathological friendliness.
In her book, she describes how this 12 year old boy, she calls “Eli” would just go up and enthusiastically hug complete strangers and tell them all about himself and asked them many personal questions about their lives as well. She goes on to talk about how difficult this disorder can be on his mother—especially the older he gets. She worries about his going up and hugging the wrong person for fear that they may react rudely or even violently.
And she also worries that some day he may completely trust someone who will take cruel advantage of his trusting and loving nature.
So, while most mothers are striving to teach their children to be more friendly and obedient, Eli’s mother spends a lot of time trying to teach him NOT to be SO FRIENDLY and NOT to indiscriminately and completely TRUST everyone because, sadly, some people may mean to do him serious harm.
After reading that article, I had to stop and ask myself, who REALLY has the “disorder”? Eli or the rest of us? I mean, it’s sad isn’t it? That we live in a world where it is often very dangerous to simply love and trust another human being.
The undeniable, unavoidable reality of living in this world scarred by sin, is that genuine love, in any pure form, whether you have Williams Syndrome or not, is indeed risky business. Because true love ALWAYS carries with it the very real risk of pain. Think about it: Love, the greatest gift God has given to humanity is always shadowed with the ominous possibility-if not the imminent reality, that this same gift could very well become the source of our deepest pain and grief.
If you’ve ever lost someone you dearly loved, you know what I’m talking about; if you’ve ever had sit helplessly by and watch a loved one suffer…. or if you’ve ever completely given your heart to someone and they virtually stomped on it, you know what I mean..
Maybe I’m wrong, but here’s the way I see it; When we truly love someone or even someTHING such as a pet, we essentially give them a part of our hearts—we become emotionally invested in them. And the more we love them—the more invested we are and the more pain we experience if we should lose them, have to see them suffering, or if they somehow prove unworthy of our emotional investment in them..
When we truly love someone, we become vulnerable because of that piece of ourselves we've entrusted to them.
When our daughter, Meagan tuned 16 and first got her driver’s license and was allowed to venture out into this sometimes dark and scary world on her own, it wasn’t the easiest thing to do to let her go. One day my wife Tammy said, she just doesn’t get it, that’s my heart zipping up and down the roads out there!
Truly loving someone is so risky that many people actually choose NOT to allow themselves to love in order to protect themselves from the potential pain that may very well spring from that same love.
I’ve even had more people than you would think tell me after losing a beloved dog, that they didn’t think they would get another one because of the pain they knew they would experience when his short dog years are over --Mind you, I’ve never heard anyone say that about a cat..
Again, love, in all its different forms, is risky business! And the greater the love, the greater the cost. But keep in mind that love costs so much because it gives so much…
Alfred Lord Tennyson
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Here’s a silly question to ask a church full of Christians: Does God love us??
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
Paul describes God’s love for us to an even greater extreme. Turn with me to Romans 5:6-8 “6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He goes on to say in verse 10 that Christ died for us while we were still His enemies!
Even with the reality of the cross staring us in the face; even with intense passages of Scripture like Isaiah 53 that talks about the willing suffering of Christ on our behalf; even when we hear the desperate agony in His voice as He cried out on that old rugged cross; “my God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me??!” Even if we intellectually GET all of this, it’s still impossible for us to actually plumb the depths of God’s incredible love for you and for me.
No doubt the cross powerfully and accurately demonstrates this insatiable love of God for us, but please don’t make the mistake of thinking His love-motivated sacrifice for us ended at Calvary.
We know that the more we love, the more pain we will likely experience connected to that love.. I believe this principle holds true for God as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed to the Lord expressing my condolences to Him for all the terrible things He is forced to behold every single second of every single day……
“This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you” is true as God looks on at this horrible mess the world has degenerated into. And although we don’t understand it completely, even though He has the power to stop it all—He lets sin run its course of death and destruction. Why? BECAUSE He loves us…
I think Scripture gives us a glimpse of that pain that springs from God’s heartfelt love for us in many, many passages, but I think it’s perhaps best summed up in the shortest verse in the Bible composed of only two words, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)
And why did He weep? He wasn’t weeping for Lazarus, He was about to raise him from the dead. He was weeping because he was touched by the deep and genuine grief being experienced by Mary and Martha and the rest of the people who truly loved Lazarus. He was connected to them by love, and through that intimate connection He experienced their pain.
Turn with me to Romans 8:31
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
You remember when Jesus says in John 12:32, “32 But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.”
By what is He drawing us? By that same love that motivated Him to lay down His life for you and for me.
John 15:13 “13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
So. Jesus laid down His own life for us. He has emotionally invested in each one of us, has made Himself vulnerable to pain because of that love, and all this while we were still His enemies!
My question to you today is WHY? Why not decide NOT to love us? And by doing this; save Himself that pain He experienced on that cross, the agony of separation from His Father, the pain He feels as He sees those He dearly loves suffering in this chaotic and often brutal world; and the pain He feels as others scorn His love for them and live a life apart from Him, doomed to destruction. Why put Himself through all of this?
Well, Hebrews 12 tells us that it was “for the joy set before him, He endured the cross, scorning it shame…”
What is this “joy”? The joy was doing the will of His Father and saving those He loved dearly and the Joy was the thought of spending eternity with those who would chose to recognize and accept His sacrifice.
In that great passage on love in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul, at the end says “and now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
But you know, as great as the love of God for us is-as powerful as it is, His love for us simply cannot save us. What actually determines our salvation is how we respond to that love..
Closing appeal
Use Paul’s prayer of Ephesians 3 as benediction.
A Prayer for the Ephesians (Ephesians 3)
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
