Introduction:
A. Let’s start today’s sermon with an old poem I really like called “The Perfect Church”
I think that I shall never see, A Church that’s all it ought to be;
A Church whose members never stray, Beyond the Strait and Narrow way;
A Church that has no empty pews, Whose Preacher never has the blues,
A Church whose Deacons always deak, And none is proud, and all are meek.
Where gossips never peddle lies, Or make complaints or criticize;
Where all are always sweet and kind, And all to other’s faults are blind.
Such perfect Churches there may be, But none of them are known to me.
But still, we’ll work, and pray and plan, To make our own the best we can.
B. Because churches are made up of imperfect human beings, there has never been and will never be a perfect church on earth.
1. When we think of the first churches in the New Testament times, we might mistakenly think that they were perfect churches.
a. We might think that because many of those church members had personally seen Jesus, they knew the apostles, they were witnesses of great miracles, and that this would lead to heaven on earth, right?
b. Wrong, that just wasn’t the case.
2. When we read the letters of Paul, Peter and John in the NT, we begin to see that the early Christians and churches faced the same temptations, failures and problems that we face.
3. The important thing for those early churches and for our churches today is to properly work through those problems with the wisdom and power of God.
4. It is God’s will for churches to strive toward unity, because it is vital to the health and the growth of the church.
a. Nothing will destroy the church and its mission quite like internal division.
5. My aim today is to challenge us and to hopefully enable us to live and work in harmony.
6. Let’s take our lesson today from Paul’s example of how he addressed a dispute that was taking place in the church at Philippi.
7. Let’s start by looking at the problem.
I. The Problem
A. Our text for today begins with these words: Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends! (Phil. 4:1)
1. There’s no doubt how Paul felt about these folks, right?
a. They were his dear friends, his brothers and sisters, his joy, his crown, the people he loved and longed for!
b. Can anyone communicate any more affectionately than that?
2. I find it interesting and instructive to note that Paul was often careful to communicate in this positive, up-building way in his letters when he was about to be corrective.
a. I think it is important to put things in perspective before we have to say something difficult to hear.
b. We might say, “I need to say something that may be difficult for you to hear, but I want you to keep in mind that I love you, and I want only what is best for you.”
3. Paul’s statement “that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends” certainly looks backward to the preceding verses, but I am sure it also looks forward to the next part of Paul’s letter as well.
B. With that verse as an introduction and a foundation, Paul then addressed the problem directly.
1. He wrote: 2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. (Phil. 4:2-3)
2. Amazingly, we know nothing more about the situation than what this brief verse says about it.
3. From this verse, we learn that there were two women at Philippi who were at odds with each other.
a. Euodia and Syntyche were traditionally female names in Paul’s day.
4. We don’t know what the disagreement was about, but the disagreement must have been significant with far-reaching ramifications, otherwise Paul would not have made the correction so public.
C. So, who were these women who were struggling to get along with eachother?
1. Perhaps they were among the original group who were converted at Philippi (Acts 16:13-15).
a. Perhaps they were ladies who took their turn hosting the church in their homes.
b. They were certainly women who were important to the work at Philippi, for Paul described them as having contended at his side in the cause of the gospel.
c. But that’s all we know about these women and the situation.
2. This seems like a good place to stop and draw an important lesson for application.
a. It is sad to me that all we know about Euodia and Syntyche is that they were two women who had a disagreement – I am sure there was much more to these women and their lives.
b. How would you like to go down in history as the person who couldn’t get along with others?
c. It makes a person think, doesn’t it?
d. We might ask the questions: How do I want my spiritual life summarized? What do I want to be remembered for?
e. I think we would all say that we would want to be remembered for positive things.
1. Things like: he or she really loved like Jesus did; or he or she brought many people to Jesus, or was a great servant, always available and willing to help; or he or she lived and taught the truth; or he or she was so generous and full of grace.
f. I know that we wouldn’t want to be remembered for negative things.
1. Things like being a pew potato who never got involved in the life of the church and its’ ministries; or he or she just couldn’t get along with anyone and rubbed everyone the wrong way; or he or she was always so negative and critical; or worse yet, he or she split the church.
3. Sadly, these ladies went down in history in more of a negative light than a positive one.
4. So, that was what little we know about the problem, now let’s talk about the solution that Paul suggested.
II. The Solution
A. Notice again the verses we read a few minutes ago: 2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel… (Phil. 4:2-3)
B. We notice that Paul’s first charge was to the women themselves to settle the problem in the Lord.
1. Notice that Paul addressed them each equally – I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche.
a. Paul didn’t take sides, nor did he indicate who was right and who was wrong.
b. Charles Swindoll wrote: When disharmony arises between two people or two groups, there is some measure of fault on both sides. Both parties must be encouraged to see each other’s fault, each other’s failure…and meet on common ground with a mutual willingness to listen and change.” (Laugh Again, Word Pub., 1991, p. 183)
c. Notice how strong a word Paul used – “I plead” do you hear the urgency and importance?
2. It is always best for two people who have a problem between them to go to each other directly and try to work it out.
a. Unfortunately, far too often when two people have a problem with each other, they talk with everyone else about the problem except the person with whom they have the problem.
b. In Jesus’ teachings, He gave us this formula for addressing interpersonal problems: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Mt. 18:15)
c. Jesus told us to try to work things out face to face because that is the best way.
d. Maybe these two ladies in Philippi had tried to work things out face to face, but I doubt it.
e. Why is it that we don’t often go directly to the person we are having a problem with?
1. Is it because we are afraid of conflict and confrontation in general?
2. Is it because we are afraid of making matters worse and destroying the relationship completely?
3. Is it because we don’t know what to say or how to say it?
f. These are fears and deficits that God can help us deal with as we mature in Christ.
g. Employing the fruit of the Spirit will make a big difference as we try to approach someone with whom we are in conflict – meaning that we should approach them lovingly, humbly, and gently.
3. We notice also that Paul’s charge to the women was to agree “in the Lord.”
a. Our mutual commitment and obedience to the Lord can bring unity in the midst of diversity and disagreement.
b. We may not be able to agree with each other about many things, but if we are disciples of Jesus, then we can agree in the Lord about the central things of the Lord.
c. If we both love the Lord and His church more than we love ourselves, then many of the things that cause disagreement become less important.
d. The original apostles that Jesus brought together were a very diverse group, even natural enemies, but their mutual allegiance to Christ brought unity and peace.
e. With the right attitude and with God’s help, all of us can get along “in the Lord.”
C. Paul’s second charge was to others in the congregation to help these two women get along.
1. There has been some speculation among commentators as to whether Paul was appealing to an anonymous member of the congregation whom he referred to as “loyal yokefellow” or whether he was addressing someone named “Sitzigus” which means “loyal yokefellow.”
2. Some commentators suggest that Paul was appealing to the entire congregation in general to help with the situation.
3. Unless the church held a congregational meeting with Euodia and Syntyche, it would be hard for everyone to help with the situation.
4. So, my guess is that Paul was referring to a specific individual to get involved – perhaps the person was Epaphroditus, a member at Philippi and the bearer of this letter.
a. There is no evidence that the Greek word “sitzign” (yokefellow) was ever used as a proper name, so Paul was probably using it to give some anonymity to the person he was charging to get involved with resolving the situation.
b. I can picture Paul taking Epaphroditus aside and explaining to him what he wanted him to do to help these two women before he sent him back to Philippi with this letter.
5. Nevertheless, whomever Paul had in mind, the point was that someone needed to help Euodia and Syntyche to resolve their difficulty.
6. Sometimes the situation between two people is so hurtful and emotionally charged that someone neutral needs to work as a mediator.
D. A good question for us to explore at this point is: how can we help others to resolve their differences?
1. First of all, I would suggest that we must not become part of the problem.
a. We might become part of the problem when we listen to and spread rumors, or when we jump to conclusions and take sides in a disagreement.
b. If someone wants to talk with us about a problem they are having with someone else, then we should be very careful about getting involved.
c. We might want to ask them a few questions before getting involved.
1. We might ask: why do you want to tell me about these things?
2. How many other people have you already talked with about this situation?
3. Have you actually talked with the person with whom you have the conflict?
d. Rather than listening to the problem, the first step might be encouraging them to go to that person, and if they don’t feel they can go alone for some reason, then we might offer to go with them.
1. But we don’t need to hear all about it before we go.
e. It is best to hear about the situation while sitting with both parties, because then we can hear both side of the story.
1. I like what Proverbs 18:17 says: “The first person to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”
2. Second, I would suggest that we try to help the two people get a spiritual perspective.
a. Often when two people are in conflict, they have completely lost the right perspective.
b. When in conflict a person can become so fixed on how right they are, or how greatly they have been wronged, that they have forgotten the most important things.
c. I like the story of what took place during a battle the Brittish were fighting.
1. Lord Nelson discovered that two of his top officers were not on speaking terms.
2. Lord Nelson ordered both officers up to the deck of the ship and pointed over at the French fleet.
3. The admiral said to the two officers, “There is the enemy! Now shake hands and be friends.”
4. Those officers were in a battle and needed to be reminded of who was the real enemy.
d. The same is true for disciples of Jesus.
1. When we find ourselves in conflict with a fellow soldier for Christ, sometimes we need someone to renew our spiritual perspective.
2. We may need to be reminded of whom the real enemy is.
3. We may need to be reminded of whom is the real Master and Lord.
4. We may need to be reminded of how often we have needed God’s mercy and forgiveness.
5. We may need to be reminded that real love puts the needs of others ahead of our own.
e. We notice how Paul did that earlier in the Philippian letter in chapter 2:1-11
1. In those verses, Paul challenged the Philippians to be like minded and have the same love.
2. Paul challenged them to do nothing out of selfish ambition.
3. Paul challenged them to consider others better than ourselves and to look to the interests of others.
4. And then Paul capped it off challenging them to have the attitude of Jesus, who left Heavenly position to come to earth and serve us by giving His life on the cross.
f. Can you imagine how excited everyone in Philippi must have been, including Euodia and Syntyche, when they heard that Epaphroditus had returned with a letter from Paul?
1. Imagine how everyone must have gathered with anticipation to hear the letter read.
2. As Euodia and Syntyche listened to the verses from chapter two that I just mentioned, I’m wondering if Euodia thought to herself, “I sure hope Syntyche is listening to this stuff about not having selfish ambition!”
a. Syntyche may have been thinking the same thing, “I sure hope Euodia is listening to this stuff about considering other’s interests ahead of your own!”
b. Do we often think things like that when we read our Bibles or hear a sermon – “Boy does this apply to sister or brother so-and-so!”
3. But then as the reader got to chapter 4 and the two women were mentioned by name, they must have realized that those verses especially applied to them.
4. Those verses helped to put things in the right spiritual perspective.
5. And that’s the kind of help that people often need to receive from us.
3. Third, as we seek to help others resolve their differences, let’s be very humble, gentle, and careful.
a. Paul shared these insightful words with the Galatian churches: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Gal. 6:1)
b. As we seek to be helpful to others, we must be careful to remind ourselves, and remind the people we are helping, that we are not perfect, and therefore we are not being judgmental or condescending.
c. We must not let down our guard or we may be somehow drawn into sin.
d. Part of our calling as Christians is to be ambassadors of reconciliation, but it is not an easy ministry.
e. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God.” (Mt. 5:9)
f. How awesome is that – we are obviously children of the Lord when we are involved in peacemaking!
Conclusion:
A. As we bring this sermon to a close, let me suggest that we should not be surprised when conflict occurs in the church.
1. Even good churches can have conflict.
2. Even mature Christians can have conflict – Remember what happened between the apostle Paul and Barnabas? (They couldn’t see eye to eye about John Mark and the duo broke up)
B. There are many reasons why churches and Christians might end up in conflict.
1. Sometimes the issues are important and involve important spiritual matters.
2. Most of the time, however, the turmoil is over petty and insignificant things – like the time for the worship services (if we decided to have only one service rather than two do you think the 8:30 AM folks might not agree with the 11:00 AM folks about the best starting time?)
3. We must always keep in mind that Satan and his demons use many different tools in their attempts to destroy Christians and churches and conflict is one of those tools in their toolbox.
4. Satan just loves to throw a wrench into our relationships and churches and see the damage it can do.
5. So, when conflict arises, we must realize we are under attack from the evil one and we must resolve that we will not let Satan win by destroying relationships and churches.
C. I want to end with the words of a good old Beatles song released in 1965.
1. The song is titled “We Can Work It Out” and although all the lyrics don’t perfectly apply many of them capture very important truths.
2. If you are a Beatles fan and know their history, then you might wish they had taken their own words in this song to heart.
Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
We can work it out
We can work it out
Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night
We can work it out
We can work it out
Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend
I have always thought that it's a crime
So, I will ask you once again
Try to see it my way
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long
We can work it out
We can work it out
2. When we only see things our own way, then there is no way to work things out.
a. We must try to see things from other people’s perspectives.
b. And most importantly, we must try to see everything from God’s perspective.
3. My favorite truth in this song is: Life is very short, and there's no time, For fussing and fighting, my friend
a. Life is way too short to stay in conflict with others.
b. Especially to stay in conflict with people with whom we will likely be spending eternity, our brothers and sisters in Christ.
4. And so, with God’s mind and with God’s help, we can work it out.
a. I hope today’s sermon is encouraging and helpful.
b. We are all going to face conflict, perhaps before the end of today, or even before we get out of the parking lot!
Resources:
The Bible Exposition Commentary, Philippians, by Warren Wiersbe, Victor Books, 1989
Maintaining Joy In The Midst of Disagreement, Sermon by John Hamby, SermonCentral.com
