Family Matters
Seven Last Words from the Cross Part 3 * John 19:25-27
We are in a seven-week series leading up to Easter called, “Seven Last Words from the Cross.” We’re looking at the seven distinct things Jesus said while being crucified. Last words matter, and the last words of the Son of God matter deeply. First, we listened as Jesus asked his Heavenly Father to forgive his tormentors. Then, last week we listened to a dialogue between Jesus and one of the criminals beside him, where he said, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Today, we listen in as Jesus cares for his family. And we learn that ... family matters!
Let me paint the picture: It is sometime between 9:00 am and Noon. Jesus is hanging on the cross, dying a painful death. Most of his disciples have scattered, in fear and confusion. A number of women supporters remain near the cross, until the Roman soldiers later move them back. One of them is Mary, Jesus’ mother. She’s no longer a young woman; she is probably around 50 years old now, a senior citizen in that time, and most certainly a widow. Can you imagine her pain as she sees her firstborn son brutally executed before her eyes?
Amidst the agony, Jesus notices Mary there. And instead of thinking about himself, he considers her needs. Perhaps he remembers the story of when Mary and Joseph had brought him for his baby dedication to the Temple, and Simeon had warned Mary, “A sword will pierce your own soul” (Luke 2:35). He sees the agony she is going through as she watches his death. Through his next words, we can apply three simple yet profound lessons. The first lesson is simply,
1. Care for your family
Maybe this should go without saying, but family matters! Family counts! Family means something. Jesus sees Mary standing there, no doubt with a broken heart, and he cares for her. He does what he can for her. He cannot take away her pain, but he can provide for her care. Even moments before his death, Jesus lives out the fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16).
By this time, Joseph is out of the picture. Jesus, as the firstborn child, is responsible for his mother’s care. Apparently, his half-brothers are not present. Scripture tells us they are not yet believers (John 7:5), although they will become so after the resurrection (Acts 1:14). But to this point, they have wondered at times if Jesus was insane (Mark 3:21). So they are not much help at the cross.
Some scholars believe John and Jesus were first cousins; perhaps that was why Jesus chose John to step in and help. Or perhaps it was because Jesus loved John in a special way, as John likes to write when referring to himself as the “beloved disciple.” Jesus loved all his disciples, even Judas, but he had a special place in his heart for John, at least in John’s recollection.
So here from the cross, Jesus gives his last will and testament. Words matter in ancient Israel. Words are binding. And as surely as if he had drafted it up in a written will, Jesus assigns his mother’s care to John standing next to her. Jesus says, “Woman” [it’s an affectionate term in Aramaic! Perhaps the term ‘mother’ would have been too much for her to handle]. “Woman, behold your son. Behold, your mother.” Jesus uses wording similar to that used in a betrothal. He is binding them together into a new relationship: mother and son. Even while dying for the sins of the world, Jesus cares for his family. So should we.
At this past week’s funeral for America’s pastor, Billy Graham, Graham's daughter Ruth told how her father hugged her following a difficult divorce and greeted her with the words, “Welcome home.” She recalls, “There was no shame. There was no blame. There was no condemnation, just unconditional love. And you know, my father was not God. But he showed me what God is like that day. When we come to God with our sin, our brokenness, our failure, our pain and our hurt, God says, ‘Welcome home,’ and that invitation is open for you.”
Billy Graham shows us that family matters. When we care for our family, we please God, who gave us our family. Care for your family, and in a wider sense,
2. Care for your spiritual family
Even though John and Jesus may have been cousins, even more significantly John and Jesus were spiritually related. Jesus was the Master, Teacher, Rabbi, and John his pupil, student, follower. Jesus was Lord and John his humble servant. As John recorded this story on paper, many years later, he used the word “disciple” to refer to himself. First and foremost, John was Jesus’ disciple, his follower, his learner. And when Jesus said, “Care for this woman as your mother,” scripture records that John did not blink an eye. He took her in from that day forward.
When Jesus called each of the disciples to follow him, he also called them to be a part of a group, a nucleus of 12 that would later expand to 120 gathered in an upper room, and then to 3,000 and 5,000 and beyond, all connected to their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When you become a believer, you don’t just join your life to Christ. You also join your life to Christ’s family, the family of God. The Bible calls the church the bride of Christ. Someone once said, “If you’ve got a problem with the church, it’s like you’re saying, ‘I love Jesus. I just hate his wife.’”
Church is so much more than a building; church is a family, your spiritual family. You have the Holy Spirit in you, as does every other believer. You are never alone, even when you may feel alone. God is with you. And someone nearby can be with you when you need them most. There are over a billion people on this globe related to you through the blood of Christ. Hebrews 2:11 and Romans 8:29 refer to Jesus as our big brother and we as his little brothers and sisters.
I didn’t always care for my big brothers. Sometimes they didn’t want me around, because I tried to copy everything they did and get in their stuff. (They had the cool stuff, you know.) Sometimes they might have picked on me in their own loving way. But one thing they did was protect me from anyone else who ever tried to pick on me. They cared for me.
Jesus is the perfect big brother. He cares for you. And he calls you and I to care for each other. Galatians 6:10 tells us, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” We are family. And sometimes our spiritual roots run deeper than our biological roots. Sometimes you feel closer to your spiritual family than your physical family.
There’s one other thing I want you to catch from this short statement from the cross. Care for your family, care for your spiritual family, and...
3. Value others above yourself.
Jesus is the consummate servant. He told his disciples more than once, “I came not to be served but to serve” (Mark 10:45). A servant focuses on the needs of another. Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” To be humble is to think of others before yourself. And we see Jesus doing that once again in today’s scripture.
Consider Jesus’ first three statements from the cross. Two weeks ago, we heard him say, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Jesus was thinking of his tormentors. Last week, we overheard Jesus reassure a criminal, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Jesus was thinking of a criminal. And today, we see Jesus focus on his mother. He was thinking of her needs before his own. The lesson is simple: value others above yourself. If you will care for others, God will care for you.
Now this doesn’t mean that self-care is not important. It is. If you want to care for others, you must protect the time to recharge your own batteries. The flight attendant urges us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we put it on our child. You are no good to anybody if you don’t care for yourself.
Yet, if you will consistently focus on meeting the needs of others, God will bless you. Rick Warren, in “The Purpose-driven Life,” writes, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less,” because you are focused on meeting the needs of others.
Jesus calls us to care for our family, to care for our broader spiritual family, and to value others above ourselves. In his last moments of life, Jesus is a family man! And so should we. Let’s pray about it:
Father, we thank you that, even in the Trinity, we see family: Father and Son. We see relationship modeled for us: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Help us to be in right relationship with you as well as in right relationship with each other. Bind our hearts together as one people. And help us to be servants, caring for the needs of those you put in our path. We pray this in the name of the great servant who died for us, amen.
