Sermon
Lanier Christian Church
February 11, 2018
David Simpson
Please Build, Not Tear Down!
Numbers 13:30-32; 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I grew up in church; And part of my childhood involved learning countless children’s songs. One of the popular ones was:
(VS 1) Oh, be careful little ears, what you hear (repeat)
For the Father Up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little ears
what you hear.
(VS 2) Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see, (repeat)
For the Father up above,
is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes
What you hear.
(VS 3) Oh, be careful little mouth, what you say, (repeat),
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little
mouth what you say.
And the song continues with hands, feet, mind, and heart. So from childhood, many of us are taught to be careful what we hear, see, speak, think, do and feel. Why? Because God is watching and listening. We are His children and He wants us to live like that.
Perhaps it would benefit all of us if we would just heed the words of this song every single day. Because, as we grow older we tend to become careless with our thoughts and words and deeds. And if you have enough careless people thinking, saying and doing the wrong things, then we have a recipe for disaster.
We as believers are called to reflect Christ in all we think and say and do, yet many times we fall short. I, for one, need a reminder every day to keep my eyes on the prize – the goal of being faithful to Christ in every aspect of my life. And one area that is a constant battle for me, and perhaps for you, is in the things I say.
No, I don’t cuss (as we say in the south). I don’t have very many angry moments, although certain things can rile me up. But, I do really battle a negative and critical spirit at times. What about you? But, it seems to be everywhere, even to the point of permeating our society.
Just last Tuesday alone, I turned off the radio because I could no longer stand the vitriol. I changed the channel on the TV because of the focus on bad news, not helpful news. I was on Facebook for less than five minutes and signed off, because of posts that caused me to shake my head in despair, not lift my spirit. I received a text that day from someone severely criticizing someone else. I got a call from a church member that had been wounded by the words of someone at work.
Stop and evaluate your life and your words right now. Are you guilty of having a critical spirit? If you’re not sure, then ask a dear friend or family member to honestly tell you the truth. And yes, I hope you CAN handle the truth!
Every one of us in this room today should take a vow before God himself to stop poisoning the heart, soul and mind of others with critical, damaging and discouraging words. Sometimes we are harming our Christian brothers and sisters. At other times, we are giving a reason for those seeking hope to not find it in you or me.
To the guilty (and I believe we all have our moments), I say:
If you think people are impressed with your negativity, you are wrong.
If you think that attacking someone verbally will cause that person to change their course, you are mistaken.
If you think that others enjoy your ridicule of others, they most certainly do not.
If you are simply trying to gain attention by your steady diet of discouraging words, you will be able to pull off that attention getting act for a few minutes, but when someone truly needs a lift and support, they will not turn to you.
If you think that God is pleased because you are revealing the truth, no matter how harsh it is, then you may want to re-think that.
Please take time and read the Old Testament book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14 just to see how God really feels about discouraging, negative words. To summarize, I share these verses today:
30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
31 But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. (Numbers 13:30-32)
Do you know what happened to those who spread the bad report? They died. They died the next day from a sickness caused by God’s anger toward them.
The names of the guilty are recorded for all time in Scripture: Shammua, Shaphat, Igal, Palti, Gaddiel, Gaddi, Ammiel, Sethur, Nahbi, Geuel. Ten men whose names are forgotten. The faithful ones, we have never forgotten: Joshua and Caleb. To this day, parents name their children after them.
The negativity of these ten men had spread throughout the camp and the people of God grumbled before Moses. Grumbling will never allow God’s glory to shine through. So, it caused God to punish every person that had been freed from Egyptian slavery by not allowing anyone aged twenty or older to enter into the Promised Land. Over the next forty years they would wander throughout the desert until that generation of grumblers had died. Only Joshua and Caleb and their families would survive to enter the land God promised. With eyes of faith, they knew God would lead and provide. And indeed He did.
These chapters in Numbers are some of the saddest in Scripture, and it all started with a bad report. The faith of the minority pleased God. The faithless negativity of the majority incurred his wrath.
A lot of us go to the doctor for a variety of reasons to be evaluated and helped for whatever is ailing us. We need to let God do an evaluation of our soul and determine if a course correction and healing is needed when it comes to a negative and critical spirit.
I suggest that we start this examination by asking ourselves this question: “Am I daily contributing to my family and the people around me in a positive and faith-filled way by building up others, bearing each other’s burdens and helping to heal…or are my contributions negative, faithless, cynical, and critical to the point of tearing down others?”
Let’s look at some reasons why we should not be so critical of others: (Outline main points gleaned from Yvonne I. Wilson – other is DKS)
1. A critical spirit is contrary to biblical principles.
God’s word is clear that we should not judge others. Jesus’ teaching is crystal clear on this. It’s recorded in Matthew 7:1 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
But, I love THE MESSAGE paraphrase of these great words from Jesus’ sermon on the mount:
Matthew 7:1-5 The Message (MSG)
7 1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
I love this wording because it describes what we are often guilty of: A critical spirit that is playing with the fire of a judgmental attitude. No, you may not be judging but you’re playing with fire!
But, Jesus also gives positive reinforcement for us to have the right attitude. He says in John 13:35 – “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
A critical spirit does not reflect our Savior, but a loving one does. Which is it going to be; Building others up with love, or tearing them down with sharp, hurtful words?
James cautioned us (James 1:26 TLB) – “Anyone who says he is a Christian but doesn’t control his sharp tongue is just fooling himself, and his religion isn’t worth much.”
In other words, our faith is not reflected when we speak with sharp words. The love of our Savior is not revealed when we are busy tearing down others. To have a worthless faith is a scary result when a critical spirit takes over our lives. God wants us to have a loving and encouraging heart and voice, not take delight in verbally injuring others, while at the same time pretending to love God.
2. A critical spirit is destructive.
There is no doubt that bitter, angry, judgmental, critical words can do great harm. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been wounded by someone’s careless harmful words.
Great harm has been done to many a person, due to the destructive words of someone else. Great harm has been done to families because a mom or dad chose hurtful words over healing words. Great harm has been done to work places because a boss or fellow employee has poisoned the environment with demeaning words. Great harm has been done to churches because some felt the need to tear down rather than to build up others. Great harm will befall our nation if we don’t get a grip on our obsession with the negative.
It doesn’t take much. Just a small spark of damaging words will cause great harm. Listen to what James said in his letter of the New Testament. James 3:5-6
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
When we destroy others with our words, we are using hell fire, not heavenly sunlight! It’s more demonic than helpful and certainly not Christ-like.
3. A critical spirit magnifies your own issues.
Psychologists have studied this quite a bit. If you are overly negative in everything you say, then it reveals more about you than it does about others. Lashing out at someone else in a negative way is nothing more than an unhealthy defense mechanism that masks the very thing that you are struggling with.” (Y.Wilson)
In a Harvard Business Review article ‘Why Are Some People So Critical?’ the author, Steven Berglas alluded to the fact that harsh critics suffer from a disorder known as “If You Spot It, You Got It.” [IYSIYGI] He further said that IYSIYGI behavior is one that psychologists call projection or a “psychological defense mechanism that enables a person to deny their own issues by attributing those traits to others.”
“Arguably, the worse thing IYSIYGI critics do is metaphorically curse the darkness while refusing to light a candle.” ~ Steven Berglas
Chiding, judging or criticizing someone may give you a sense of feeling powerful but the best thing you can do is to forgive others and confess your own fault so that you may get deliverance from the spirit of criticism. The more patient you are with others and their flaws, the more grace that God will give to you to get over yours. (Y. Wilson)
James 5:16 challenges us: 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Folks, we need each other. We need each other’s prayer support because that builds you up to face the devil’s constant attacks. We need each other’s encouraging words because that builds you up to keep going when sometimes you want to completely quit. We need each other’s forgiveness because that cleanses and heals and helps us to move forward.
CONCLUSION:
I know what some of you are thinking. So, I have to be “surgary sweet all the time?” No, there are times that call for strong, determined and corrective words. For instance:
Are there times to speak out about injustice? Of course. But, Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to “speak the truth in love.”
Are there situations where correction is needed? Certainly. But remember Proverbs 15:30, which reads, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.” The challenge is to be life-giving, not life-crushing.
Are there circumstances that call for rebuking? Indeed. But, notice that young Timothy was encouraged by Paul to: “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage – with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:2) Note that rebuking is sandwiched between correct and encourage, and involves patience and careful instruction. Rebuking is never done in anger, nor is it just a mere explosion of words and then walking away. It requires patience, persistence and encouragement.
So, again, I want to challenge all of us to stop. Just stop.
Stop and think before you speak.
Stop and pray before you spout off.
Stop and seek the wise counsel of someone else before saying the wrong thing.
Stop and figure out a way to encourage rather than discourage; to bring hope rather than despair; to offer loving-kindness rather than demeaning criticism.
Stop a hurtful behavior and start a loving, more Christ-like pattern. Start living out 1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” There’s enough tearing down going on. We need some builders! God may be calling you to do just that right now.
Some material at end of sermon from this website by blogger, Yvonne I. Wilson (identified in sermon):
https://empowermentmomentsblog.com/2016/10/02/why-negative-criticism-harmful-to-others-and-yourself/
