Lately I have been binge watching this new American TV series called “This is us”. It’s about a family with triplets and their intertwining stories with each other now, when the characters are grown up, but it constantly flashes back to their childhood times. It shows how their loving parents taught them when they were young, and then it would fast forward to their lives today and we get to see how they make decisions. My brother in California first told me about this and he said, “Joanne, you’ve got to watch this, but be prepared to cry like a little girl.” I said, “Yeah right, I’m not gonna cry like a little girl.” Yup. I cried like a little girl.
A very key character in the show is the Dad of the triplet. He’s an ordinary looking man named Jack. Kinda skinny, dark hair, with mustache, but he’s a very positive guy and he knows how to turn any situation of the family into something good. For example, every year, the family really dreaded spending Thanksgiving with their very judgmental grandparents. They have to take a long road trip and have to wear ugly Christmas sweaters. One year, they got into a car accident. But somehow, just when it cannot get worse than this, he turned it into an incredible day filled with happy memories and it was that day they created these unique traditions for the family like having hotdogs with crackers and watch Police Academy 3 every Thanksgiving day and they kept the tradition until today. It becomes a part of their family culture.
And with the constant flashback from present time and childhood time we see how the Dad made a tremendous impact on his three children’s lives. The values that the Dad instilled in them when they were young, affects how they as adults make decisions now. But the frustrating part is, we know at some point the Dad died. But they never tell us just how he died. It seems to be a major event in the children’s lives and maybe the kids have something to do with it. But you don’t know. You’d think in one episode one would find out how he died, but nope, they didn’t tell you. Then you’re at the last episode of season 1 and you’d think, now they’re gonna tell us how he died. But nope. You have wait until season 2. It’s very frustating.
“Welcome Home” – our core values
We are starting a new series called “Welcome Home”. In this series we will talk about our core values in ICF. What is our version of “This is Us”. These values determine how we behave and how we respond to situations.
That means if you walk into any ICF churches around the world, they may have different styles but you will experience people living out those values. And the three core values are putting God first. Love and respect. And Kingdom mindset. We will explore these core values in the next weeks and today we will talk about Love and Respect through the relationship of the three characters of a famous parable: the Prodigal Son.
Because in this passage, Jesus also wants to redefine the culture for the people.
Read Luke 15:11-32
I will read Luke 15: 11-32. But since this is such a famous passage, I will give you a challenge as you read it. I want you to find where in the story could be shocking to the people back in those times in the ancient near eastern culture.
The beginning of Luke chapter 15 explains why Jesus tells this parable, it says that one day, groups of tax collectors and “sinners” gathered around Jesus because they are so attracted to him and his teaching. And in verse 1 of Luke 15 it says, “the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, saying, ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.’”
And Jesus thinks to himself, “Ok, how can I show these people, socially unaccepted people and really religious people, what’s the whole point of it all? What is really God’s heart?
So Jesus told a few stories. Stories that people can relate to at that time but also radical at the same time.
1. The initiating love of God
Jesus first told a parable about the lost sheep, how a shepherd leaves behind the 99 sheeps to find the one lost sheep, 1 in 100. Then he tells the parable of the lost coin, how a woman looks everywhere for her lost coin and was so happy when she found it, she told everybody. 1 in 10. And then, finally, a parable about the lost sons. It’s getting more and more personal. All of his sons were actually lost. When the younger son returns the father is so happy about it he throws a big party.. But this story it’s a little bit different from the other two parables because in the prodigal son, not only does it talk about how happy he is to find something that was lost, it also talks about the things that were lost.
There are three characters in this parable. The father, who remains constant throughout the story. The younger son, who was rebellious at the beginning but ended up with a surprise party. And the older son, who has everything but was still angry and we don’t know what happen to him at the end.
In verse 12, the younger son asked his father to divide his property. The greek word for Property is bios where we get the word biology, which literally means he is asking his father to divide up his life for him. This is shocking to the culture of those days because parents are highly respected. It is like he is saying to the father, “I want your stuff, but I don’t want you. I couldn’t even care less if you die. You mean nothing to me.” And then it says he went to a country far far away, having nothing to do with the father. He’s saying to the father, I don’t want you to involve in any part of my life. Let me live the way I want to live.
The people around Jesus at that time probably think, alright, this story is quite short. End of story. Because this is insulting and not acceptable. The father is the head and should be highly respected. You should just slap him and disown him. But the father divided up his property between them. He had to sell off his land to give the son the inheritance. He is tearing his life apart. He is enduring the pain to maintain the love he has for the son. According to the culture at that time, the older son will get twice as much as the younger brother, so that means the younger son took 1/3 of what the father has, and left. And whatever is left, belongs to the older son.
But when the younger son comes back after he has spent everything and
realizes how wrong he was, the father ran to him and hugged him. Now in those days, middle eastern men don’t run. Children may run, but the heads of the household don’t run. He probably had to pull up his tunic and running awkward. And here is something that is shocking about this parable for the people at that time. To the tax collectors and sinners, or people who have no relationship to God, Jesus is saying, don’t you dare think that God doesn’t love you. Don’t you dare think that you are too far for God to have his eyes on you.
In verse 21, you see that the younger son was going to work his way back to the house. He practiced this whole speech about how he’s sorry and he will work for him but the father cuts him off right there.
The father’s response was: I’m not gonna wait for you to clean up, to prove yourself, you’re not gonna earn your way back to the family. That’s not how you can come home.
Instead the father says, bring him the ring and best robe and the shoes and let’s celebrate. That’s a symbol of the father restoring the sonship for the younger son. With that he welcomes his younger son home and shows him his place at the table. His place is not taken away. Inside this house, is a place of grace. It is a place for acceptance and of love. I will take you as you are now.
All three of the parables have this same theme – it is about God’s initiating and lavish love for us. From the day the son left until he comes back, the father didn’t change. He is just there waiting to welcome us home.
“19 We love because he first loved us…. “
It all comes from God, but there is a second part to it –
“Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (1 John 4:19-21)
Jesus didn’t tell the story to counsel Christian parents with rebellious kids—it was told by Jesus to Pharisees to unpack the lavish love of God for those around us.
After the father shows how much he loves the younger son, there is the older son. But this time, he is the one who is staying outside of the house. Throughout the story, he didn’t come in.
This older son is the good one. He’s the one who never disobeyed his father. He works hard.
But when he heard his brother is back, he’s not happy.
And why was he not happy? It’s about something that’s very important to men.
No, not respect. That’s the second most important thing for men.
But the most important: meat!
The big deal is the fattened calf. The barbeque beef. Middle eastern people don’t have meat so often for a meal. Before the time of refrigeration, you have to eat all the meat at once. So if you kill a chicken, you can feed a family. If you kill a goat, you can feed a group of friends. And if you kill a fattened calf, you can feed a whole village. The most expensive thing to do is to kill a fattened calf. That means, this is a big party.
The older son said, “wait a minute, according to what the younger brother did, he deserves nothing. But you gave him barbeque beef? You’re celebrating with the whole village? I am working so hard for you but I didn’t even get a goat! I don’t really care whether my brother is dead or not, but you killed the fattened calf!”
And there it is. This is how we know the older brother also didn’t know the heart of his father.
The younger son wants the father’s things, the older son is also using the father to get the things he wants, the status, the wealth, the blessing, to fulfill his own agenda.
His relationship with the father is also broken. And we have several hints of that in the passage.
First of all, in verse 25, it says when he heard music and dancing, he didn’t go into the house and ask the father what’s going on. He asked the servant. He didn’t go inside to check it out for himself.
Even though he is working hard, he doesn’t know why he’s doing it. There is no communication with the father. Just like when we have no healthy prayer life with God.
When we are far from God’s heart, we start to focus on ourselves. We focus on our own agenda.
And instead of having the mindset of a son, we adopt the mindset of an orphan. That means we don’t believe anything belongs to us. We have to grab it.
*Story of Bethany’s niece*
And when we have an orphan mindset, we became jealous.
Like the older brother is to his younger brother. That makes it hard for us to give compliments. What if the other person gets more praises than I do? But that’s not the culture that God wants.
When the relationship is broken, the older son was even being rude to the father. He said, “Look, all these years I have served you, I have worked for you.” He didn’t even call him Father. He said “Look!” And when we are rude to other people, we are saying, I am more important than you.
The older son completely misses the point.
He humiliated his father by not joining the party and again it is his father who has to beg him to go inside. The same patient, loving father is pleading with him.
The father says, “all that I have is yours.” Your place at the table is secure.
But the story ends right here. Cliffhanger. We don’t know what happens to the rest of the story.
Did the family unite together?
Did the older son join the party?
Did they live happily ever after?
We don’t know.
We have to wait for season 2.
Why did Jesus end the story like this? Without an ending?
Because while this story turns everyone’s view completely upside down, it also demands an answer from the listener.
You don’t know who God is and you think you are not loved? You are wrong. The father wants to welcome you home.
You’re a Christian and you think your work is what pleases the father. You are wrong. The father loves you no matter what.
But will you make room for others to come home as well?
You can’t do that, unless you fix the broken relationship with the father.
Let’s make this parable a little bit more relevant to today’s world. If Jesus were to talk to us today? What would the story look like?
Instead of goats and calf, maybe the story goes that the younger son failed all his tests, but he got an iPhone 10, and the older son is mad because he only got a hand-me-down Samsung Galaxy S3 from his Dad.
Or maybe the younger son is like the Alabama congressman who is a Muslim and the older brother is that vocally outspoken Christian chief justice who rejected him and tried to throw him out of office. This guy literally carried a wooden plaque of ten commandments into his courtroom every time and he even installed a marble monument of the ten commandments in the judicial building and people eventually had to protest about that. Even Moses would be like, dude, what are you doing man? I just didn’t have an iPad back then. Why are you showing off? But Christians today could be so divisive on many topics that even they couldn’t get along with each other. They’re always fighting more than agreeing. That’s why I like the OneLove event where we stop looking at differences but celebrate the brings us together.
Or, maybe the younger son is me. When I was living in Singapore I said, “God, you didn’t show up for me so I’m leaving. You stay out of my life and I’ll stay out of yours.” And for almost four years I didn’t go to church. I was far away and I didn’t invite God in any of my decisions. I did things that would shock you. It really led to a place of famine for me and I was ashamed to come home. But God, and the people, welcomed me back and restored me.
Or maybe the older son is also me when I was jealous. When I was 19 years old I was living with my college roommate. She is beautiful with long hair, smart and elegant, would tell me she wanted to get married by 24 and have kids by 28 and of course she ended up doing exactly that plus she bought two apartments, and 15 years later she told me she became a Christian too. There was a part of me that said, seriously God? She literally has everything including you and I served and sweated for you for the past 15 years and I still don’t have what I wanted?
Or maybe the older son is just me this week. When I am literally preparing for the sermon on love and respect but at the same time I was really rude to the people who are close to me. I didn’t realize I was standing outside of the house. I was thinking about myself.
Where are you standing right now? Are you standing inside or outside?
“19 We love because he first loved us…. Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (1 John 4:19-21)
God welcomes us home as we are, but to bring us back home cost him a lot.
Story of Ernest Gordon – Miracle on the River Kwai
Ernest Gordon was a Scottish Prisoner of War in World War II. He wrote Miracle on the River Kwai to tell the story of his experiences at the hands of the Japanese as he and his fellow soldiers were force to work on the Burma-Siam Railway.
The cost to construct the Burma-Siam railway was astronomical. Almost 250 people died per km of the railway built. Because the prisoners labored under inhumane conditions. Oppressive heat, tropical diseases, stinging insects, and inadequate food, and they were living under very harsh environment of the Thai jungle. The Japanese guards were mean, crazy, and sadistic. And many prisoners died in the brutal environment.
The prisoners of war became like frightened, cornered animals. These men adopted an extreme survival mentality. Men were motivated primarily by fear and hate.
It’s like they were living in hell. The atmosphere in which they lived is poisoned by selfishness, hatred and fear. People just look out for themselves. The weak were trampled underfoot, the sick ignored, the dead forgotten. When a man lay dying, there was no word of mercy. When someone cried for our help, no one turned their heads. Hate was the only motivation for living. They hated the Japanese.
Then one day, a shovel changed everything.
At the end of each day the tools were collected had to be collected and counted to make sure no one stole any tools. But one day, a Japanese guard shouted that a shovel was missing and demanded to know which man had taken it. He began to rant and rave, working himself up into a paranoid fury and ordered whoever was guilty to step forward. No one moved. “All die! All die!” he then took out his rifle and started to aim randomly at the prisoners, ready to shoot. At that moment one man stepped forward. The guard started to club him and beat him until he died. The prisoners watched but no one said anything. When everyone returned to the camp, the tools were counted again but this time, no shovel was missing. What happened the first time, was that there was a miscount.
Word of this spread like wildfire through the whole camp. An innocent man had been willing to die to save the others. This one man’s selfless sacrifice completely changed the camp’s atmosphere. People started to question, what is the meaning of life? Why did he do that? Is there a God and am I ready to meet him? The men began to treat each other like brothers, with care and kindness. Because they don’t feel their lives belong to them anymore. The reason that they live, is because of that man. Gordon describes the effect in his book:
Death was still with us, but we were slowly being freed from its destructive grip. We were seeing for ourselves the sharp contrast between forces that made for life and those that made for death. Selfishness, hatred, envy, jealousy, greed, self-intelligence, laziness, and pride were anti-life. Love, heroism, self-sacrifice, sympathy, mercy, integrity and creative faith, were the essence of life, turning mere existence into living in the truest sense. These were gifts of God to men. There was still hatred, but there was also love. There was death, but there was also life. God had not left us. He was with us, calling us to live the divine life in fellowship.
Something has changed inside these prisoners of war. Because they experience something. They experienced sacrificial love.
The sacrifice even impacted how the prisoners saw their Japanese captors. When the victorious Allies finally swept into the camp, those Scottish soldiers were so thin they were like walking skeletons, but they lined up in front of the Japanese soldiers and insisted that they not be killed.
That’s the power of sacrificial love. An innocent man drastically changed the culture in that camp.
The bible also told us about this sacrificial love. Except this time, unlike the TV show, we know how the main character died. What we don’t know is how the people will respond. We will have to write our own season 2.
When Jesus wants to change the culture he didn’t just tell a story. He is the only true innocent man who stepped to the front to take the punishment. He was not a prisoner of war but he is God. On the cross there was a God asking a God, “Father, why have you forsaken ME?” I did everything right. But still, He bore the pain and took the ultimate separation from God so that God can say to us, “Welcome home.”
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)
Just imagine if we as a community who has experienced God’s lavish love for us would also live this out, then perhaps there will more room at the table for other people to sit with us in this home.
That’s the family culture God has for us.
Closing action:
I want us to now take a moment to reflect on our relationship with God. Are you inside or outside of the house? Maybe you have never entered the house, God is saying, I don’t wait until you clean up, I just want to welcome you in.
Or maybe you have been a Christian for a while, how is your relationship with other people in your life? How is your relationship with God? Are you unintentionally standing outside? What could be your brokenness today? God is still pleading with you and said, don’t look at what I am doing for other people, look at what I have done for you, I want you to come home with me.
