Genesis 16: 1 – 16
Giving in to pressure
16 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the LORD has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai. 3 Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. 4 So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “My wrong be upon you! I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. The LORD judge between you and me.” 6 So Abram said to Sarai, “Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please.” And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled from her presence. 7 Now the Angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. 8 And He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai.” 9 The Angel of the LORD said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand.” 10 Then the Angel of the LORD said to her, “I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude.” 11 And the Angel of the LORD said to her: “Behold, you are with child, and you shall bear a son. you shall call his name Ishmael, because the LORD has heard your affliction. 12 He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him. and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.” 13 Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?” 14 Therefore the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; observe, it is between Kadesh and Bered. 15 So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram named his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram
I want you to stop and think about yourselves for a moment before we proceed to look at today’s scripture. Can you think of a time in which you gave in to pressure? If you cannot quickly think of anything, then you are truly blessed. Now, how about the rest of us? What did you give into? Was it at work? Perhaps it was from friends? The worse is giving into to your spouse – because if it goes wrong you will take the blame for giving in. Am I right or what?
Abram in my opinion was riding an awesome life with God Almighty. I mean chapter after chapter God did amazing things through and for Abram. This is an experience I never want to cease. Just in our last chapter alone [chapter 15] our Holy and Awesome God made a covenant with Abram that informed him that his descendants would be greater than all the stars in the sky. The major impacting verses which is thrilling is, “Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.” 6 And he believed in the LORD, and He accounted it to him for righteousness.
We will now see that Abram’s faith waivers and he gives into his wife’s request to not wait for God to fulfill His promise but to take things into their own hands to help God out. Remember the famous verse, ‘God helps those who help themselves.’ Well, this isn’t from the bible unless you now include Benjamin Franklin who was the one who said this statement.
Now in hindsight I want to list a few things that our brother Abram could have done to avoid giving in. Perhaps you can consider these points if you face a pressure request in the future.
1. Ask 101 questions. For example, if a person pressures you to do something you are cautious about doing just blitz this person with tons of questions. If you do so the other person will not want to openly admit that it is such a good idea. Abram could have asked Sarai a whole bunch of questions relative to this act including the possibility of intimacy, trusting God, asking if God can do miracles, etc.
2. Say “No” like you mean it. Make eye contact, and then say “No” forcefully, with authority. The more certain you are in your refusal, the less people will bug you. Abram should have encouraged his wife that she is the only one he ever would desire. I like to a certain extent the husband of Hannah, Elkanah, who responded to his childless wife, Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” In other words he proved by his actions and words that he loved her and for both of them they could find peace and happiness.
3. Back-up a no with a positive statement. For example, if Abram was turning down his wife he could have said, ‘Nope can’t do, it’s just you and me baby. We will get our own kid the old fashioned way.’
4. Be repetitive. Don’t hesitate to state your position over and over again. I like the old TV commercial that spoke about the repetitive job of making donuts over and over again. The famous line which many remembered was, ‘Time to make the donuts again.’
5. Get away from the pressure zone. Leave the scene… make your exit. Abram could have said that he needed to go see Melchizedek again for some advice.
6. Consider the results of giving in. Take a moment to think about the consequences of your actions. Abram needed to draw Sarai close to the Lord also. He was the shepherd of his family and group and he needed to ensure that his wife developed the same faith in the Lord God. Remember back in the garden we need to ask why wasn’t Adam staying in close contact with Eve in order to keep her out of trouble. I mean if God gave him the most beautiful woman on the earth, why wasn’t he near to Eve?
7. Don’t buy the line that everyone’s doing it. Historians reveal that at this time in human existence women would have children from a surrogate wife. So, why not do the same. The truth is, everyone’s NOT doing it.
8. Seek support. Talk out any peer pressure you’re experiencing with other friends who are also feeling the squeeze. I can be reassuring to know that you’re not the only one. As you know the bible says that there is much wisdom through many counselors.
9. Seek out your own best friend - Yahweh. Hey Abram, God has done wonders for you don’t you think it would be good to seek His advice. You just reminded God that you had no heir to leave your possessions to and God encouraged your heart to remind you that He will indeed fulfill His promises. Abram needed to go to God and confess his weakness that was in dealing with his wife’s pressure request.
10. Find ways to excel in your walk of obedience to God in all things. Challenge yourself to do your best for our Holy Master. Focus your attention on following God’s word not worldly advice.
16 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the LORD has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.
Sarai knows of God’s promises to Abram, the covenant promises. But she has reached the age when it is unlikely she will have a child. As time passes she grieves for the dilemma of her husband. She has an Egyptian handmaid, probably one of those given to Abram by Pharaoh, and she proposes that Abram has a child by her handmaid and that they adopt the child as Abram’s heir.
She is aware what it has meant to Abram not to have an heir, and as they grow older together she is concerned to give him satisfaction. What she proposes was in accordance with custom, and it will remove her shame. It was an accepted practice that a wife’s servant, being her slave and not her husband’s, could bear a child for her through her husband, and because the slave was hers the child was hers also. If a natural son was born later many examples elsewhere allow for him to replace the adopted son.
3 Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan.
Here it is stressed that the initiative comes from Sarai, and at his wife’s insistence he yields. He may have convinced himself that this was okay to do. He knows it is important for his wife to have a protector in the future, and wants her to be satisfied in her heart. Furthermore he may have felt that this was the way in which YHWH was answering his prayers.
The twofold stress on the fact that Hagar is an Egyptian is possibly intended to make us look back and remember the first time that Abram pre-empted God, in Egypt. There too his faith faltered.
4 So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes.
The plan was successful. But Hagar was an Egyptian and not brought up to tribal customs, and her success made her feel superior to her barren mistress. She sees herself as now the important wife and seizes the opportunity to take over that position. She begins to act in a superior way and to supplant her mistress as though her mistress were now of little importance. She does not accept her status as a producer of a child on Sarai’s behalf.
5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “My wrong be upon you! I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. The LORD judge between you and me.”
Well so much for liking Sarai’s idea Abram. Sarai comes to Abram and says to him ‘My wrong be on you.’ This is an official plea for legal protection. Sarai now wants Abram as head of the family tribe to remedy the situation. She dare not act on her own. She has given her slave to her husband and her slave is now no longer just a handmaid. He is the one who has the authority, and all that is done in his family group is in his hands. He must be the one to put right the wrong done to her.
I had mentioned that Abram should have defended his allegiance to Father God. Sarai was Abram’s responsibility to encourage in the Lord. We see here that she now lets him know of his failure to cling to God and His promises. She tells him, ‘YHWH judge between you and me.’ She reminds him that he must consider what YHWH’s verdict would be. Her insistence is that she be firmly reinstated as his principal wife, along with the authority going with such a position, a position that Hagar is undermining. We must remember that Sarai was the equivalent of being of ‘royal blood’. She was of the tribal aristocracy.
6 So Abram said to Sarai, “Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please.” And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled from her presence.
Abram passes his judgment. In a way he says to her, ‘Hey this was your idea not mine. You deal with it. I’m washing my hands of this whole affair.’
Sarai is given authority to act as she sees fit. The woman is still her maid (it may be that this is an intentional downgrading of Hagar who had become more than just a maid). The truth is that whatever she will do. It will be seen as having his sanction. He accepts her, in accordance with custom, as still the principal wife. Hagar possibly did not understand that Sarah was unique as a child of Terah, thus being of the tribal aristocracy.
Sarai then makes clear her position to the tribe, who will have been watching the power struggle and waiting to see what Abram would do, by her harsh treatment of the slave who has tried to rise above her station and who has responded badly to her mistress’s kindness.
The harsh treatment does not necessarily involve unfair treatment; it lay in the downgrading that necessarily followed with all that that involved. But Sarai was human and felt she had right on her side, thus it is probable that Hagar had a very hard time.
Hagar cannot accept her new lack of status or her treatment and flees in the direction of Egypt, her homeland. In many ways she had given Sarai little choice. Her attempt to supplant her had had to be treated harshly in order to re-establish Sarai’s overt authority.
Of course her flight exacerbates her wrongdoing. She has no right to leave Abraham and she has not been turned out. Had she stopped to consider earlier none of this would have happened. She must have known the customs, even though as an Egyptian she was unwilling to subscribe to them. But she had made a bid to rise above her station and the consequence of failure was inevitable.
7 Now the Angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur.
There is no suggestion that she is in difficulties, (unlike the next time when she tries the same move under totally different circumstances in chapter 21.15-16). As a young, healthy and determined woman she has made her way fairly easily and is almost on the borders of Egypt and safety. By the way, Shur is close to Egypt. But YHWH has seen her flight and is cognizant of the fact that she carries Abram’s son. Thus He will not allow her to flee into anonymity in Egypt, and He therefore seeks to restore her to Abram.
8 And He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai.”
It is clear that by originally becoming what she had (the handmaid of Sarai) Hagar had been brought within the covenant and that God will therefore not let her go. But note that she is addressed as ‘handmaid of Sarai’ not wife of Abram. God accepts the customs of the people. Such an address from a stranger (angels are not usually recognized as such immediately) alerts her to the fact that this is an unusual visitation. Yet it also reminds her she is in the wrong. She ‘belongs’ to Sarai and Abram.
The words ‘From where have you come?’ are very significant. He wants her to recognize that she shares in an unusually favorable circumstance, that of being within YHWH’s covenant. And she is deserting it.
And then we see the next impacting question, ‘Where are you going?’ He also asks her to face the question as to what kind of a future there is for her and her child if she continues on her way. Life in Egypt will not be easy for a solitary woman with child. But the writer also wants us to recognize that she is, as it were, leaving the presence of God.
Hagar must have been shocked that at this stage, when she has nearly reached safety, she has met someone who knows her status. She does not try to avoid the question or to lie. She admits her guilt.
9 The Angel of the LORD said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand.”
Two questions got right to the root of Hagar’s situation. Then without any other dialogue Hagar is told to go back to Sarai and Abram.
10 Then the Angel of the LORD said to her, “I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude.”
If she returns her future will be most satisfying. She will become the mother of a great multitude, the longing in those days of every woman. We note here that the angel of YHWH now speaks as God. If it was just an angel then the words would have been that ‘God Almighty will multiply your descendents.’ No, I believe that this Is our Lord Jesus Christ confronting Hagar
11 And the Angel of the LORD said to her: “Behold, you are with child, and you shall bear a son. you shall call his name Ishmael, because the LORD has heard your affliction. 12 He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him. and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.”
The promise of a son is what she longed for and its fulfillment would seal the promise. The name Ishmael means ‘God hears’. It will ever be a reminder to her that God knows her situation and has provided for her. She is under His protection and He will hear her cry.
Ishmael cannot inherit leadership as Abram’s heir for Isaac will be born. Thus this is a prophecy from God before the event. Like his mother, Ishmael will be strong minded and unwilling to submit willingly to others. The idea is that he will not be satisfied with his position life but will roam the desert places, free from all restraint and control, answerable to no one and able there to do whatever he wishes. Yet he must have contact with others and they will view him as ‘not one of us’. The inevitable result will at times be conflict. To others he will appear lawless. But his brethren will always be aware that he is there. Even when not seen he will be ‘in their presence’, never to be overlooked, sweeping in and out of their lives. He will be like his mother, a free spirit, unwilling to be dominated and very resolute.
13 Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?”
Hagar gives God a new name as being her personal God, for He has seen her need and has responded. She knows that she has met the One Who sees her always. These words emphasize how dramatic her experience has been. She knows she has experienced a theophany, a personal visit from God. From now on she is not only within YHWH’s covenant with Abram, she also has her own personal involvement with God.
14 Therefore the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; observe, it is between Kadesh and Bered. 15 So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram named his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram
We do not have a record of the interaction of Hagar with Sarai and Abram. How was she received back? What were their conversations? Was Hagar repentant?
We do know that somehow Hagar shared with Sarai and Abram her experience with the Lord. For on the birth of the boy she bore to Abram she had informed him that God had said that his name shall be Ishmael.
