GENESIS 29:15-20 “WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN WITH ALL HIS HEART”
A) I read about a young man that proposed to his girl as they sat looking over the beautiful
lake ... “Darling, I want you to know that I love you more than anything else in the world.”
* “I want you to marry me ... I’m not wealthy ... I’m not rich ... I don’t have a yacht or a Rolls
Royce like Johnny Green, but I do love you with all my heart.”
* She thought for a minute and then replied, “I love you with all my heart, too, but tell me
more about Johnny Green.”
B) What does it mean to love your wife or husband with all your heart?
* The Bible gives us an example in Eph. 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
* Col. 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
C) To love your spouse with all your heart is to love as Christ loved.
* The love that Christ has for us is the heavenly example of loving our spouses with all our heart.
* His love for us is an unconditional, undeniable, and unending love.
D) In our text we see a human example of loving someone with all your heart.
* We see the love that Jacob had for Rachel ... If there ever was a man that loved a woman with
all his heart, it was Jacob.
E) This is one of the great love stories of the Bible.
* The love that Jacob had for Rachel was an example of the love Christ had for His Church.
* The love that Jacob had for Rachel is the kind of love that should exist between a husband
and a wife.
F) Jacob’s love for Rachel reminds us of certain qualities that will exist when a man loves a
woman with all his heart.
* Let’s learn about the kind of love that ought to exist in a marriage from the example of Jacob’s
love for Rachel ... First, we see:
(1) THE ATTRACTION HE PORTRAYED * Notice v.1 “Then Jacob went on .......”
A) The words “went on his journey” literally means “lifted up his feet.”
* He had just met the Lord and there was a spring in his step ... The burden of sin had been lifted
and he was a happy soul.
* v.2-3 – As he journeys, he comes upon a well and group of shepherds and their flocks.
* He strikes up a conversation with them – v.4-6.
B) Jacob asks, “Where you fellows from?” ... They replied, “From Haran.”
* “From Haran,” Jacob says ... “Do you know a fellow by the name of Laban?”
* “Yes, we know him.” ... “How’s he doing?” ... “He’s doing well ... As a matter of fact here
comes his daughter now with her father’s flock.”
* Notice v.10 “And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban .......”
C) The idea behind the word “saw” is to “gaze.” ... When Jacob saw Rachel he was hooked.
* He was immediately bitten by the love bug ... He just stood there gazing at her.
* When she drew near the well to water the flock, starry-eyed Jacob walked up and said,
“Here, let me help you.”
D) He removed the stone from the well, a stone that usually took several men to move.
* You talk about someone being pumped up, he was ... He watered the flock for her, and all the
time, he never took his eyes off her.
* Jacob was immediately attracted to Rachel – How attracted was he? – Notice v.11 .......
E) Jacob was a fellow that didn’t believe in wasting time.
* It’s obvious that he was greatly attracted to her ... He felt for her like Adam felt for Eve,
“You are the only woman in the world for me.”
* May I say that when a man loves a woman with all his heart, there is attraction.
* It’s that something that eliminates any interest in another person and draws a person to that
one special person.
F) Let me give you some of the factors that contribute to marital breakup .......
* Lack of emotional support ... Lack of honesty ... Lack of common interests ... Not feeling liked
or appreciated ... Financial problems ... Use of free time ... Sexual incompatibility.
* Most of these things could be attributed to a lack of attraction in the marriage ... A husband is
no longer attracted or interested in his wife and vice-a-versa.
* Think with me about this attraction – First, there is .......
THE ATTRACTION THAT BRINGS A COUPLE TOGETHER
A) Jacob was immediately attracted to Rachel – We read in v.17 that Rachel “was beautiful
and well favored.” ... The words “well favored” speak of her appearance.
* She was an exceptionally beautiful woman ... There was physical attraction involved, as well
as other factors.
B) It was this attraction that brought them together.
* As with all couples, there was something about your spouse that attracted you to him or her.
* It was that thing that caught your eye, captured your heart, and claimed your love.
THERE IS ALSO: THE ATTRACTION THAT BINDS A COUPLE TOGETHER
A) The maintaining and sustaining of this attraction is an important factor in keeping a couple
together ... It should not be the most important factor, but it is a factor.
* A spouse should never let fade or die that thing or things that make you want to be around your
spouse.
* It’s that attraction that causes you to not only to love her or him, but also like her or him.
* It’s that attraction that causes you to appreciate ones spouse ... That which draws you to your
spouse and makes you lose all interests in others.
B) What was it that attracted you to your mate? ... Was it his or her appearance?
* In Atlanta, a woman seeking a divorce complained that her husband was careless about his
appearance ... She said, “He hasn’t showed up in two years.”
* One’s appearance should not be the most important attraction, but it does help.
C) The Bible tells us in 1 Sam. 16:7 that “man looketh on the outward appearance, but the
LORD looketh on the heart.”
* Since your partner is human, he or she is going to look on your outward appearance.
* It is therefore important that you do not use a wedding certificate as an excuse to relax your
standards of appearance.
D) A quick look in any office will reveal that working women try to look their best during the
eight hours they are working with other women’s husbands.
* If a wife lets her appearance run down, she puts herself in an unfavorable comparison to these
women, and she may be following the path of least resistance, which is a form of selfishness.
* Couples seem to forget after years of marriage the vow, “For better or for worse.”
E) The same could be said of men as well.
* There may have been something else that caused the attraction such as personality or character.
* Whatever the cause, part of the work of marriage is seeing to that one never loses that attraction
for his or her spouse ... Secondly, we see .......
(2) THE AFFECTION HE PROVED * We read in v.18 “And Jacob loved Rachel.”
A) The word “loved” that is used here speaks of having great affection for someone.
* As I said in the beginning, Jacob loved Rachel with all his heart.
* Now I want you to think with me about something for a moment.
* As you read this story we don’t read of Jacob saying that he loved Rachel, although I’m sure
he did ... But we do see Jacob showing that he loved Rachel ... There’s a difference.
B) Jacob’s love for Rachel was “An Undeniable Love.” ... Our text – v.15-20 .......
* Jacob had worked for Laban for a month and one day Laban said, “It’s not right for you to
work for me for nothing ... I want to pay you ... Tell me what your price is?”
* Jacob said, “I want your daughter Rachel ... I will work seven years for her.”
C) I’m reminded of a story of a king that had a beautiful daughter.
* One day he stood up at a party that was being held at his palace and said .......
* “I will give my beautiful daughter to any man that will swim across this pool that is full of
man-eating crocodiles.”
D) About that time a splash was heard and everyone turned and saw this fellow swimming for
dear life ... Crocodiles were snapping at him every inch of the way.
* He finally made it to the other side and climbed out of the pool shaking life a leaf.
* The king said, “Well, I guess you get my beautiful daughter.” ... The man answered, “I don’t
want your daughter ... I want the fellow that pushed me in the pool.”
E) It was obvious that Jacob loved Rachel ... He was willing to work seven years for her.
* I love the statement in v.20 “They seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had for her.”
F) I’ll not get into it at the moment, but when the seven years was up, Laban deceived Jacob on
his wedding day and Jacob actually ended up marrying Rachel’s sister, Leah.
* Notice v.25-28 ....... Jacob actually worked fourteen years to have Rachel as his wife.
* There was no question that he loved Rachel ... He showed that he loved her.
* He more than proved his love ... It was an undeniable love.
G) In a marriage love ought to be said ... A husband ought to tell his wife constantly and
continually that he loves her and vice-a-versa – But that love must also be shown.
* Now fellows, in case you don’t already know this, a woman needs to be told over and over
again that she is loved.
* But as you know, women are a complicated species, and telling them that you love them is
not enough ... You also have to show them that you love them.
MEDICAL STUDIES OF BRAINS OF MEN AND WOMEN
A) Medical studies have shown that between the 18th and 26th week of pregnancy, something
happens that forever separates the sexes.
* By using heat-sensitive color monitors, researchers have actually observed a chemical bath of
testosterone and other sex-related hormones wash over a baby boy’s brain.
* This causes changes that never happen to the brain of a baby girl.
B) In layman’s terms, here is what they are talking about.
* Picture ....... The human brain is divided into two halves or hemispheres, connected by
fibrous tissue called the corpus callosum.
* The sex-related hormones and chemicals that flood a baby boy’s brain cause the right side to
recede slightly, destroying some of the connecting fibers.
* (You women have always said that men had brain damage and now you have proof) ... One
result is that, in most cases, a boy starts life more left-brain oriented.
C) Because little girls don’t experience this chemical bath, they are much more two-sided in
their thinking.
* Now I know what you are thinking – “What does this have to do with showing your love to
your wife?” ... Let me go a little further.
* When this chemical bath occurs in the womb in boys and not in girls, it sets the stage for two
ways of thinking in a man and a woman.
D) The left brain houses more of the logical, factual, and aggressive centers of thought.
* It’s the side of the brain most men reserve for the majority of their waking hours.
* It enjoys conquering 500 miles a day for family vacation trips; favors mathematical formulas
over Harlequin romances.
* Stores the dictionary definition of love; and generally favors black-and-white thinking.
E) It’s the side of a man’s brain that can’t wait to buy the latest copy of some how-to magazine
for the latest fix-it technique; memorizes batting averages and stats .......
* And loves to sit for hours, watching back to back games and yelling at referees.
F) On the other hand, most women spend their nights and days camped out on the right side
of the brain.
* It’s the side that harbors the center for feelings, as well as primary relational, language, and
communication skills.
* Enables them to do fine-detail work – Sparks imagination; and makes an afternoon devoted
to art and fine music actually enjoyable.
* It pulls over at rest stops ... And would rather read People than Popular Mechanics, because
it is more relational.
G) To put it in a nutshell, fellows, women have been created in such a way that they need to be
told they are loved, and they need to be shown they are loved.
* As men, we may be half-brained, but we don’t need to act like it.
* One fellow said to his wife, “I love you terribly.” ... She replied, “You certainly do.”
H) Some men don’t know how to make a woman happy.
* I have learned that it isn’t money, diamonds, furs, houses, or other things that make a woman
happy, but just plain love.
* Happy is the wife whose husband knows and tells her that he would choose the same bride if
given the chance to marry all over again.
* Jacob’s love for Rachel was an undeniable love ... It was a loved that was proven.
IT WAS ALSO AN UNENDING LOVE
A) It was love at first sight ... After seven years, he was still madly in love with her.
* After fourteen years he was as much in love with her as at the beginning.
* Notice a touching scene in Gen. 48:7 “And as for me, when I came from .......”
B) The scene is seventy-years later ... Rachel is dead and Jacob himself is sick and dying.
* He calls his boys to his bedside, and in the course of his conversation with them, he mentions
the day that he buried Rachel ... His words indicate that he still thought of Rachel.
C) She has been gone for years, but his love for Rachel is still obvious.
* That’s the kind of love God wants in a marriage ... That’s the kind of love God intended for a
marriage, the kind that never dies.
* That’s the kind of love Jacob had for Rachel ... Thirdly notice .......
(3) THE ATTENTION HE PROVIDED
A) As we look at the relationship between Jacob and Rachel, we see that Jacob paid a lot of
attention to Rachel.
* We see two things that demonstrate the attention he gave to Rachel .......
B) First, There Was Jacob’s Devotion To Rachel
* As we have already mentioned, Jacob ended up with two wives ... But it didn’t take long for
everybody to realize that Jacob loved one of his wives much more than he did the other.
* Notice v.30 “And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more .......”
C) Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah ... It’s very obvious that he was devoted to Rachel.
* It was Rachel that he spent time with and wanted to be with.
* It was Rachel that received most of his attention ... It was to her he was devoted.
D) There Was Also Jacob’s Desire For Rachel – Notice v.32 .......
* Leah thought, “If I give Jacob a child, then he will love me and not Rachel.”
* But notice v.33-34 “And she conceived again, and bare a .......”
E) Apparently Leah was wrong for the second and third time she became pregnant she said,
“Now maybe this time he will be joined to me.”
* The word “joined” means to “entwine, unite, and remain.”
* She thought having the first baby would win Jacob’s heart ... But even when she had his child,
his desire was still toward Rachel.
* It was still Rachel that he was attracted to and gave his affection and attention.
CLOSE
A) I read about a Kansas cyclone that hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning.
* It lifted off the roof, picked up the bed in which the farmer and his wife were sleeping.
* It carried them to the next county before it sat them down.
B) The wife began to cry – The farmer said, “Don’t be scared, Mary ... We’re not hurt.”
* Mary continued to cry and said, “I’m not scared ... I’m happy.”
* “Happy? ... What are you happy about?” ... She said, “This is the first time in 14 years
we’ve been out together.”
C) We never get to the place in a marriage that we should not spend time with each other,
do things together, and go places together.
* It’s a matter of giving and providing attention.
* How should a man love a woman? ... Jacob gives us a good example.
D) He portrayed his attraction to her ... Do you know what the word “portray” means?
* It means, “To describe in words, to play the role of, enact.” – He showed her how much he
was attracted to her.
* He proved his affection to her ... Affection means, “Tender attachment or fondness.”
E) He provided attention to her ... And that’s something that every wife needs.
* And that’s how a man loves a woman with all his heart.
