Imagine a Church with some problems, where some people are fighting to become leaders. Yet, despite their own problems, when they heard that the individual who helped to establish the church was in need, they all come together, contributed money to send to help the individual. The leader wrote back to say thank you. This is what the book of Philippians is all about. Paul helped to establish the church but when he was in prison in Rome in those days when prisoners provided for themselves, the church in Philippi sent him some help and Paul wrote back to thank them. Today, I invite you to examine with me the nuggets of Christian wisdom contained in this letter in the fourth chapter 4 : 1 – 9 as I speak on the topic: Longing to see Growth.
St. Paul had been informed about the things in the church, though he was in prison in Rome and so he began his letter in the fourth chapter on the best way of living the Christian life in the world namely: Peace with others and peace with the self. First, living in peace with others in a world of conflict requires standing firm in the lord (v.1), living in harmony with others (V.2 – 3) and Living in spirit of happiness v. 4). But doing this can be hard if we are not at peace with ourselves and so he outlined the second process of being at peace with the self: (1. Forbearance (2) Prayer and thankfulness to God, and (3) The thought process and imagination.
Let me begin this morning with a story. A few years ago a young woman about thirty years walked into my office. It was obvious that she was deeply troubled by events in her life. She said “Pastor, it is hard for me to make ends meet and as hard as I struggle, things do not seem to go well. I have just met a nice young man and I am trying hard to make this relationship work. He is not into religion and has refused to come to church and so often I too do not come to church to keep him from breaking up the relationship. I really want to get married and this seems like my last chance, what should I do?” That woman sitting across from me that afternoon was looking for someone to provide answers for what she saw as a problem. She wanted someone to take responsibility for her actions and someone to become her parent. We all do behave like that young woman. We run away from the situations we have created and look for shelter away from the storms that we have created and so we stagnate our own growth and fail to see God’s love and God’s action. We live in an ideal world instead of the real world and pretend to be what we are not so that we can please others. Events in our lives are forced enactments to fit into the roles we have created for ourselves.
The members of the church in that port city of Phillipi were doing the same thing. Though they were members of a faith community that Paul founded, not all were standing firm in the Lord. There was conflict and selfish ambition and Paul singled out two names Euodia and Syntyche (v. 2) Because of this conflict, it was perhaps difficult to see joy, peace and happiness. Some easily gave up because of frustration and so they lacked the spirit of forbearance which is an indication of faith. Because of these, the true foundation becomes shaken and uncertainty and anxiety set in. Paul then provided a remedy by listing ways of restoring peace and harmony through right thinking. We are what we think he seems to be saying. Our world is distorted because of our thinking pattern. Rather than thinking about truth we pursue falsehood. Rather than honor we get involved with what brings dishonor. Instead of thinking about the right action we become comfortable with the wrong ones. We flee from goodness and join what is bad. Instead of excellence we tolerate mediocrity and instead of what brings praise we get involved with what brings ill repute. Pursue goodness, think right to live well and grow was Paul’s message to that church and to us in a postmodern world. He then offered as examples , concluding in this part of the letter: “Things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things”.
We live in a postmodern age where we keep busy every day. Like those in the past we have learnt that pleasure should be sought at all times and even when we ourselves are responsible for creating our own misery, we seek others to blame when the fruits of our bad thinking comes. We look for ways to run from the pain we created. It is always the fault of our parents because they were divorced. It was the fault of those we came in contact with and so some blame their addictions and attitude on others and absolved themselves of the responsibility for their bad choices and faulty thinking. People begin their addiction by first trying some substance either to fit in or as some have told me, “ to help them relax” or “deal with some issues” in their lives. Soon they find that they crave the substance and their world changes as they lose what they once held dear. Later they find out that their world, their thinking and even their minds have been taken over and controlled by this addiction. What affects us in the world are not the situations but we fail to grow as a result of our faulty thinking.
We fail to grow when we live our lives for others and become afraid of losing the affection and approval of those we think are important in our lives. The young woman I told you about did exactly that. She wanted to win and keep the affection of a man she thought was her “last chance at marriage”. She stopped coming to church and thought more about the affection of the man than her relationship with the church and what provided her life with meaning. We all do that. Parents worry about what their children will say and spouse worry about the approval of each other. Children worry about losing the approval and affection of parents and all worry about what others will say. The German Psychotherapist, Fritz Perl, writing after WWII in California lamented that we all have lived phony lives. Rather than live fulfilled lives we play roles and try to fill our lives with useless roles and so we leave vacuum in our lives and try to be what we are not so that we can win the approval of friends and relatives. We want to live according to what is expected of a lawyer, doctor, nurse, school teacher, wife, husband, father, mother etc. We invent roles and play that role and then discover that we live unfulfilled lives and that something is missing. We become frustrated when we notice something is missing. Some in that Church in Phillippi were living that way and failed to think about what is important in their lives and their relationship with God. As a result conflict erupted and they failed to see what God has in store for them. They were living for the expectation of others except God. When we fail to live for God and live for others, it is hard to see growth.
With living with the role we have created for ourselves, it is not hard to see that soon we feel helpless. We complain and think falsely that we have done everything we could but growth seems to elude us. In actual fact we have done very little because each action we take simply spruce up this false role from our false thinking. Therefore we make appointment to get a facelift, a tummy-tuck, a nose job or some other cosmetic solution. Someone once remarked that he got plastic surgery to improve his self-esteem. I told him I will check back ten years later to see how it is working for him. The fact is no plastic surgeon can do for you what faith in God can do. “stand firm in the Lord” Paul advised the church. Helplessness can lead to desperate actions, but faith and reliance in the God of our salvation is a solid rock. Helplessness does not lead to growth but faith in God restores your ability to understand that you may not know tomorrow but you know who holds tomorrow. With such understanding lies the promise of peace and growth. Paul inserted this phrase: “practice these things and the God of peace shall be with you”.
We fail to grow because we are very comfortable with the familiar. We become frightened at the prospect of change. It is hard to change, I know, but those who trust in the Lord do not need to see the whole way they just need to know who is leading them. Change is sometimes seen as the loss of control and we humans like to falsely think that we are in control. As a young man I had a fear of flying and would do anything to avoid flying. I once drove from Atlanta in the east coast to Portland in the western United States because I wanted to avoid the five-hour flying time. Well it took me a few days plus days of recovery from exhaustion but I avoided being in the airplane with the doors shut and losing control. With the car, I thought I was in control. Many still think the way I used to think back then. We want to be in control and so rather than try new things and new ways we become wedded to the old situations and old relationships though these retard our growth. We fail to think about what is right, pure, lovely, good excellence and worthy of praise. Change takes hard work and giving up control and trusting and so we remain miserable in our old ways and complain about the lack of growth. Along with being comfortable with the familiar is the inability to let go. As you have heard me say before, it is hard to drive forward when your attention is focused only on your rearview mirror. You know you are so consumed with an old relationship when everyone you meet must pass the test of being compared to your ex.. You are so involved with your past when you become depressed and lament a past loss rather than celebrate the possibilities of the future. It is difficult to grow when your mind is not opened. It is difficult to grow when you are praying for future blessings but you’re looking backwards. The past should be a guide not the main road.
You cannot grow if you do not live in the real world but have created an ideal and a fantasy world. If there is a difference between the ideal world of your mind and the real world, chances are that you will miss who God truly wants you to be. We all do this; we map out rigidly exactly what we want our lives to be like, except that our plans do not consider the real world on what is possible and what is not, and so we hold on to our rigid ways and become frustrated later on when things do not turn out the way they are supposed to be. We want that perfect husband or that perfect wife but fail to work on ourselves to make ourselves attractive to others. We plan that perfect job but fail to acquire an education that will take us there. We want to live in a nice neighborhood and a nice house but neglect our credit and do little to safe money for the down payment for the home. We build castles in the air and neglect realities and real life situations.
What is stopping you from growing and being what God truly wants you to be? How are faulty thinking and errors in logic leading you to blame God for what you yourself have failed to do? How are you living your life and how are you planning to fulfill God’s plan for you?
I want to live you this morning with another story. Thomas Salmon, a missionary in the nineteenth century once wrote a story in the New York Observer about a blind preacher named William Wafford that he met in England. Not able to read as a result of his blindness, the man committed a lot of Bible passages into memory from where he drew his stories during his preaching. Despite his inability to read and write, William Wafford, would often compose poetry in his mind and recite them to his hearers. One such poem was recited to the Rev. Salmon on his visit one day. Perhaps you have heard of it in the song “Sweet Hour of Prayer”. In it Mr Wafford recited the third verse:
Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
Thy wings shall my petition bear
To Him whose truth and faithfulness
Engage the waiting soul to bless.
And since He bids me seek His face,
Believe His Word and trust His grace,
I’ll cast on Him my every care,
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!
To him whose truth and truthfulness calls us every day, We can be blessed when we seek his face and his grace through thinking rightly. When we trust his word and cast on him our every care, we can truly grow. Thanks be to God. Amen.
