Last Sunday we had a gender reveal party to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl in April. I was so convinced it was a boy, based on how different the first trimester had been this time around. But then, with friends gathered around, we popped a large black balloon with question marks all over it, and pink confetti paper burst forth all over the floor. It’s a GIRL! And we are thrilled.
But, you know, one of the first things someone said to me—just a minute or two after finding out—he said, “Now you’ve got two weddings you’re going to have to pay for!” THAT was apparently the first thought that crossed his mind. And it’s one of the most common comments I’ve had this whole week, too—usually from other men—about how expensive it will be to pay for two weddings. So, I thought I’d better begin looking into this a bit more. And I was shocked! After a bit of research, I found the average cost of a wedding in Edmond, Oklahoma is $37,254.00! YIKES! (From: https://www.costofwedding.com/index.cfm/action/search.weddingcost?zipcode=73013, as of 11-8-2017)
I mean, I know weddings can be pricy, but ours wasn’t that high. It wasn’t exactly cheap, but it was classy without breaking the bank. Nevertheless, it got me thinking of how I’m going to need to really save up! And it also got me to thinking about what the wedding industry has become. From the caterer, to the cake, the colors, the dresses, the tuxes, the limo. There’s the location of the ceremony, the location of the reception, the location of the rehearsal dinner. There’s the DJ, the photographer, the wedding music, the first dance song, the menu, the napkins, the party favors. All this and more—I’ve hardly scratched the surface! So many details that become so great, the day gets so overblown, so the focus is on the wedding, not the marriage.
But one of the biggest details of all is when it comes to the wedding party. Who gets to stand up there beside you? And this is important. The wedding party is supposed to help the bride and groom with preparations beforehand. They’re supposed to help make the bride and groom’s job easier the day of the wedding. And they’re also supposed to stand there as witnesses before God and men to the promises made at the altar—and as such witnesses, if the marriage goes sour, their role (from what I tell them, at least, when I perform weddings) is to remind the couple of their marriage vow. These personal personnel details are important. Who is in your wedding party is important!
From our parable in Matthew 25, this morning, as well as from other conversations with Jesus, we find that we’re part of His holy wedding party. While some sigh in sadness at being “always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” that’s not the case for us. We are always a bridesmaid, AND always THE bride, as Jesus seems to be mixing his metaphors in this parable. The main characters mentioned include the bridegroom and 10 virgins—meaning bridesmaids, attendants to the bride herself. Notice, the bride isn’t directly mentioned in this parable. But we know who she is. Jesus, himself, is the bridegroom; the church is His bride. Meaning all believers in Christ, together, make up His bride. All the saints before us, after us, all around the world: that’s the church, the bride of Christ.
But here in Matthew 25, Jesus talks about it differently. In this instance, in this case, individuals in and outside the church itself are bridesmaids. Through the course of the parable, while perhaps exaggerating some details, Jesus describes the wedding customs of the day. Customs that would’ve been familiar to his hearers, though, for us, a bit odd. So, let’s set the stage:
In the ancient Jewish world, marriages were pre-arranged. A father would set the bride-price for his daughter’s hand. Now, before we think of how barbaric and uncivilized they were, “selling” their daughters, that’s not exactly an accurate or fair representation of things. Sure, there were, likely, some fathers more focused on what he can get out of the suitor—money, property, power, etc. For most, that wasn’t the case. These were, after all, their little girls, treasured by their daddies (all of whom were wrapped around her little finger). Fathers wanted to make sure that, if any man is going to marry my little girl—this young woman whom I cherish—he’d better prove he’s willing and able to support her and care for her. Even make certain sacrifices for her. This seems to be the real “spirit” of the bride-price, as proof.
So, the bride-price is set, then paid. At the point of payment, while the wedding ceremony hadn’t yet occurred, the two were considered married, for all intents and purposes. Think Joseph and Mary, betrothed, but not married; yet, when he found out Mary was pregnant, Joseph considered “divorce.” So there was a sort of understood legality to this unofficial “marriage.”
Regardless, before the marriage was officially official, it was customary for the groom to prepare a place for his bride. Usually, it was 12 months’ time—going to his father’s house, preparing a room for he and his wife. Often this meant adding onto the house itself, or making some renovations to the house, a la Chip and Joanna Gaines. But sometimes it was a separate house entirely. Now, while 12 months was customary, it could be sooner…it could be later. No one knew when he would come to claim her, so they needed to wait. They needed to be ready. They needed to be prepared. They did know he would likely come in the middle of the night, as was tradtion.
It’s at this point in the that Jesus picks up his parable. The bridesmaids are waiting in the middle of the night. They are to be prepared to greet the bridegroom when he arrives, and escort him to the wedding ceremony. And that’s an interesting detail in itself. Usually, when the bridegroom’s presence would be made known, the bridesmaids would escort the bride to him. Jesus changes their roles, having the bridesmaids escorting the groom to the bride. This is just one hint of Jesus telling us about the nature of our God—because it’s always God who comes to us; always Christ who comes to His bride, not the other way around.
At any rate, because they didn’t know the precise day or hour of his arrival, they needed to bring along lamps with oil to keep it lit. I think when we hear talk of “lamps” in the Bible, we often have the image of a small thing, a little bigger than the size of your hand, with a handle to carry it. Those were for indoor use, though. The lamps mentioned here in Matthew 25 would be better described as torches on long poles. These sorts of torch-lamps were for outdoor use; especially for such processions. They would trim the strips at the end, drench them in oil, then light it. That would keep it lit for about 15-20 minutes—so they’d need to do it again and again and again. A significant amount of oil would’ve been needed to stay lit for the length of the procession. The wedding party had a job to do to prepare for this ceremony!
But, as the story goes, not all of the bridesmaids were prepared. And when the bridegroom did arrive, boy were they surprised. “Give us some of your oil,” the foolish virgins demanded. When they finally made it to the wedding, they were shocked when the groom—the man who had invited them to be part of his wedding party in the first place—denies them. He shuts the door in their face and says, “I never knew you.” Scary words for a Gospel, “good news” reading. “I never knew you.”
And so, this parable serves a warning, a cautionary tale for us. Our bridegroom is returning, any day, now! He has paid the bride-price for us—it was costly, it was priceless, it was His own life, His own precious blood poured out for you and me. Through His death and resurrection, Christ has proven His love and His ability to provide. And, right now He is preparing a place for His bride, the Church. That’s what he meant when He told His disciples, “In my Father’s house are many rooms…I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:2-3) The bridegroom is returning, any day, now—but no one knows when he will arrive. So be ready! Be prepared!
So, we are always a bridesmaid, always THE bride—the church—actively watching and waiting for His return. And you know, there is a difference, a distinction between watching and waiting. There’s an old story of a fishing boat returning home after weeks away at sea. The skipper was bringing the boat to shore. As they were approaching the dock several yards out, he got his telescope out looking to land. He’s telling the crew all the wives he sees on shore watching and waiting for their husbands’ return. He said, “I see, Tom’s Anne. There’s Billy’s Mary. There’s my Margaret. And John’s Sue.” He went on, saying all the names of his crew and their wives…all except one crewman, Robert. He didn’t hear his name or his wife’s name called out. As soon as they hit port, Robert unloaded and briskly walked home. There, his wife was sat at the table, and she looked up and said, “Oh, I was waiting for you.” “Yes,” Robert said, “but you weren’t watching for me!” You see, there’s a difference between waiting and watching—and we do both. (Based on: https://www.sermoncentral.com/illustrations/sermon-illustration-sermoncentral--stories-secondcoming-78115?+ref=TextIllustrationSerps)
We wait with patience, confident that He will keep His vow to return. We know He is faithful to His promises—He will forget-me-not. When God speaks, things happen; so when Jesus says He’s coming again, we know it to be true. It may be taking longer than expected; longer than maybe we’d like. But we know He’s on His way, any day now. So we wait, patiently, continuing on with our daily lives. But we also watch with expectancy, knowing it could be any minute. We are looking for His arrival. Eagerly, excitedly anticipating it. We are not idle, but we are actively watching for Him, expecting Him soon, getting ready for his return. Even helping one another be prepared.
We watch and we wait with joy, though perhaps along with this joy is also a holy fear. It’s a holy fear, because we know we are sinners. We know we are unworthy to be part of His wedding party; unworthy to be His bride. And we know that we will stand before Almighty God—the creator of all things—we have to stand before HIM. That’s a big deal. Because this Bridegroom comes in judgment, as we see three times in Matthew 25. The Bridegroom comes in judgment, separating the sheep from the goats; the faithful from the unfaithful, the wise from the foolish. And when He comes, there will be no middle ground. You are one or the other. When He comes, there will be no hiding from His judgment. There will be no escaping it.
There’s a story about two men talking to each other about their relationships with their wives . One says to the other, “The wife and I got into a big fight with each other, last night.” “Oh, that’s too bad,” says the other man, “How’d it end up?” “How’d it end up? Well she came crawling to me on her hands and knees. That’s how it ended up,” the first man said. “What’d she say to you, then?” asked the second man? “She said, ‘Come out from hiding under the bed, you coward! You can’t get away from me that easily!’” (Based on excerpt from: "More Telling Stories" by William J. Bausch, p. 11)
The Bridegroom is coming for His bride—and when He comes, there will be no hiding. Man, woman, or child; bridesmaid or groomsman, flower girl or ring bearer—He is coming, and there’s no hiding. You can’t get away that easily. But fear not!
For we who are in Christ—for us, the Bride, His Church—we have nothing to fear. It was a match made in baptism; it was a match made for heaven. Christ has redeemed You! He has made You spotless. He has made you whiter than snow; whiter than a wedding dress. He has clothed You in the wedding garments for this marriage feast. And He is coming just for you! His coming is taking longer than expected; no one knows the day or the hour. So it’s important that we remain vigilant—actively watching, confidently waiting. He calls us to be prepared, so we do just that. We fill up our oil for our lamps, because you can’t rely on anyone else’s oil. We fill up our lamps with oil through lives of worship. And I mean that in a couple of ways.
We prepare for His return through a life of worship, first, in actual worship services—we are filled up through Word and Sacrament. We go to church to hear God’s Word and receive His gifts, because through the means of grace, our hearts are filled, our faith is strengthened. And, the Holy Spirit prepares our hearts to receive Him who comes to us. That’s one way we prepare, and fill up our oil. But then, secondly, we prepare for His return through a life of worship as we, in response to the Gospel, we go out and do good works. By faith in our sanctified lives, we go out and do good works—that’s part of being prepared. Martin Luther, actually argued that the ‘oil’ was, in part, our good works. Because faith and works are inseparable. Works don’t save you, but they go along with faith. Works don’t save you, but they do show the world you’re part of this holy wedding party.
We see this played out in our reading from Amos, today, too. Amos describes a life of worship, involving justice and righteousness—or, at least, that’s what a life of worship should be. He talks about how on the “day of the Lord”—a.k.a. Judgment Day, when Christ returns—on that day, Yahweh will not accept Israel’s empty praise, their solemn assemblies in the temple or synagogues, their louds songs, nor their burnt offerings. Even though these are things they were instructed to do. They were told by God Himself to worship Him in these ways…but He wouldn’t accept them. He wouldn’t accept them because they were just going through the motions. Their hearts were not turned toward the Lord. Otherwise, they’d be going out and letting justice and righteousness flow like never-ending streams of water.
You see, to be in the church is not just about being in a worship service, going through the mo-tions. But it’s about acting in faith in your everyday life. It’s doing good works, by faith. It’s turning from sin when tempted, and repenting where you fail. It’s forgiving as you have been forgiven. It’s not looking in judgment on others for what they have done or not done; what they have or don’t have; or even the life they choose to live. It’s looking on others in compassion, and putting the best construction on things. It’s being in prayer, being in the Word. It’s standing up in defense of the weak, the powerless, the voiceless of this world—even the unborn. It’s letting justice and righteousness flow like a never-ending stream of water. The life of worship is not simply going TO church. The life of worship is to BE the church in the world.
There’s a story of a young man who was a groomsman in his friend’s wedding. They got to the wedding rehearsal, and the strict wedding coordinator—whom they lovingly called “the wedding Nazi” behind her back—she had a piece of tape down at every person’s spot. She said to each of the groomsmen, “This is your spot. Stand here, and don’t move the entire service.” She demanded this over and over, drilling it into their heads. They all knew this rule, and were scared to break it. “Stand here, and don’t move!” The next day, the unexpected happened. The groomsmen were in their spot, standing on their tape. The bridesmaids began slowly marching down the center aisle—one by one they came, flowers in hand, beautifully dressed, gentle music accompanying them. Suddenly, one of them tripped and fell right in front of this young groomsman.
He was frozen. He was glued to his spot. He looked at the girl on the floor right in front of him. She lay there, a little in pain, and extremely embarrassed. He knew what he should do. But then…he looked at his spot, at that piece of tape beneath him, and he remembered the “wedding Nazi.” “Stand here, and don’t move!” So he didn’t. None of the groomsmen, in fact, moved from their spot. What’s wrong with this picture? They were precisely where they were supposed to be, after all. They were doing exactly what they had been instructed to do. But, obviously they were unprepared.
But then the girl’s father got up from his seat in the congregation. He wasn’t part of the wedding party; this was not expected of him. But he stood up and calmly walked over to his daughter, the bridesmaid. He scooped her up, like she was nothing, and carried her out. After making sure she was ok, he escorted her back to the sanctuary to participate in the wedding ceremony. To again be part of the wedding party. (Based on: https://www.sermoncentral.com/illustrations/sermon-illustration-jordan-wirkkala-stories-64246?+ref=TextIllustrationSerps)
While a bit humorous, the story serves as a reminder of being prepared; being called to action in all situations. Yes, be IN worship—go TO church. That is exactly where God has called His people to be. That is precisely where Christ has promised to be, to fill us up and prepare us for life in the world. So DO go TO church. But above all, BE the church in the world. Because the Bridegroom is coming, any day now. Show the world you are part of this holy wedding party. Be prepared. For you are always a bridesmaid, always the bride—the Church—watching and waiting in lives of worship.
Come soon, Lord Jesus. Amen.
