February 26th The Single Life 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
The advantages of being single:
1. Being single can lighten your burden 1 Corinthians 7:32-33
Burdens singles do not have:
Conflicts with a spouse
Compounded loneliness
Unfulfilled expectations
Increased responsibilities:
2. Being single can expand your opportunities 1 Corinthians 7:32, 34
Opportunities singles can have that marrieds folks might not:
Increased margin
Increased spontaneity
Increased investment:
Missions
Ministry
Money
3. Being single can increase your blessings 1 Corinthians 7:35
Opening illustration
Turn to 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
This morning we continue our series entitled “It’s Complicated.” Life is complicated, isn’t it? Why? People are complicated. You’re complicated. I’m complicated. And anytime we relate to another person or another group of persons, it get really complicated.
Illustration?
This morning we take on another challenging text taken from the writings of Paul. We have to remember as Bible-believing Christians that Paul is writing these words under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. We believe that the Bible is God-breathed. So these words come straight from the heart and mind of God.
How many of you are single?
So let’s read the passage and dig into what the Bible says about the Single Life 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (on screen)
The advantages of being single:
1. Being single can lighten your burden 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 (on screen)
There is no denying that marriage complicates life. Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Marriage certainly has some benefits. But there are burdens that a married person has that a single adult does not.
I asked some of our single folks to coach me on this. I was single for almost 10 years out of college. I was a single adult pastor for 5 years with 1500 singles I was responsible for. So I do bring that perspective. But I wanted to hear from single adults that are in that lifestyle now. Burdens singles do not have: (build).
Conflicts with a spouse Now this is a mixed bag. Many of our singles are divorced and that mean that there is a great potential conflict with their exes over custody rights, paying support, parenting issues, unresolved issues.
Having said that, my singles tell me that in many cases there is much less conflict after the divorce. They were fighting so much before, that the divorce was a welcome respite. It’s like you’ve been banging your head against a wall: when you stop, you may still have a head-ache, but the banging stops.
Now let me say quickly that God’s plan for any and every married couple is to stay married; for both of them to become the godly spouse that God wants them to be. If you are struggling in your marriage, come to us for help. Go through our ReEngage ministry (logo). Come to our counseling center. Get in a LifeGroup and have them pray and encourage you.
Unfortunately, one or both of the spouses refuses to cooperate with God and the marriage falls apart. Fortunately, God is a redemptive God. There is forgiveness and hope in the future for anyone who has gone through a divorce.
And one of the benefits of being single is not having someone constantly living with you that causes a lot of friction. Money Magazine polled 1010 couples married adults ages 25 and over with household incomes above $50,000 to find out how couples manage their finances once they’ve tied the knot. Survey results showed that 70 percent of couples argued about money more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring and what’s for dinner.
Just about 100% of married couples deal with significant conflict at one time or another. But if you’re single, you don’t have that to deal with. Doesn’t mean you don’t have conflict. When I was single, I had good roommates and bad roommates. Even when I was living by myself, I had friends that we would get frustrated with. I went through a spell when me and my best friend were pursing the same woman. There was conflict.
But all in all, the conflict was minor as a single compared to the conflict I’ve had in marriage. And that’s Paul’s point: a single adult is generally less conflicted than married folks.
Compounded loneliness: One of the realities that single adults deal with is loneliness; that is, they are aware that may not have that ‘special one’ in their life. All their friends may be married. All the advertising is aimed at couples. And when a single lives alone they come home to house without another human being.
That’s not an insurmountable challenge. In fact, it can be healthy. Many singles I know are much healthier emotionally than some married folks I know. Some married folks get married because they are afraid of being alone…which is an awful reason to get married.
Many married people, particularly women, have told me they were lonelier in their marriage than when they were single. Why? When you’re married, you know you are supposed to have genuine intimacy--and the fact that you are not experiencing intimacy in the marriage compounds the loneliness.
Unfulfilled expectations: When you’re married you expect your spouse to take care of certain needs and fulfill certain functions. But of course, no human being can meet all of our expectations. That’s unrealistic. And that can lead to a lot of disappointment.
But a single adult can learn to have realistic expectations that keeps them from experiencing some of the profound disappointment that married couples have.
Increased responsibilities: wife, husband, children, all come with an increase in responsibility. Now to be sure, the single parent has ALL the responsibility on them. But again, single parents I know have told me in the long run it’s easier to parent single than it was in a highly dysfunctional marriage.
Singles are free from having to plan around a schedule of spouses/kids, free from having to worry financially about supporting anyone else, and free from the pressure of leading/raising a biblical family in this crazy messed up world!
Again, Paul says, “I want you to be without concerns.” Being single can lighten your burden. That’s an advantage.
2. Being single can expand your opportunities 1 Corinthians 7:32, 34
“An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.” v.32 (build) “An unmarried woman . . . is concerned about the things of the Lord.” v. 34
Because the single doesn’t have those burdens that a married person has, they have some opportunities that married folks don’t.
Opportunities singles can have that marrieds folks might not:
Increased margin For the single parent with kids still in the home, this is not a reality. My sweet sister Kari Brimacombe is one of the strongest people I know. She has to wear both hats: mother and father to her 3 boys. A single parent has to do almost all the heavy lifting themselves: get the kids up without the help of a spouse, get the kids fed and dressed, get themselves dressed, get the kids to school, get themselves to work, get the kids home, cook dinner, do laundry, do housework, help with homework, and then drop into bed dead tired. Every night. So not much margin for the single parent, particularly if they have custody.
But many singles are not in that situation. And because they basically just have themselves to manage, they have increase margin. And in a society that is marginless, that’s a good thing. Margin helps bring serenity of heart; you’re not running around time carrying kids and spouses all over creation. Margin provides extra time for pursuing Christ by spending time in His word and prayer. Margin brings extra time for pursuing hobbies, reading, travel and lots of relationships.
Increased spontaneity One of the realities for many singles is the freedom to be spontaneous. When I was single, I’d get a call from one of my friends who had a ski boat on a Friday night: “You want to go skiing tomorrow?” Sure. I’d look around my apt: no one I had to ask. No one I had to get permission from. I could just go. “You want to?” “Sure” “Let’s go” Get a call on a Friday night: want to go to a movie—starts at 9:30.” “Wanna go?” “Sure” “Let’s go” Increased spontaneity
Increased investment This is the most important advantage. Increased time to invest yourself in at least three areas:
Missions Using your freedom to get out and be on mission with God. That certainly includes increasing your time with The One. Building relationships with those lost and far from God. Single adults could be the most contagious people we have here at Rush Creek.
Not just being on mission with people where you live, work, and play, but also using your freedom to go on mission trips. We have trips scheduled this year for Mexico, El Salvador, China, Moldova, and Portland. If you’re single, ought to be on one of those trips.
Ministry When I say ministry, I’m talking about serving here at RC. Serving in our Connections area—BTW, we need 2x as many greeters and ushers as we have now. Need to contact Josh Rose and sign up. Singles ought to be leading the way. Serving in children’s area or with students or any number of the ministries we have here at RC.
Money Many Singles tell me that because they just have themselves to provide for, they have extra money to invest in kingdom work.
Paul’s point is that an unmarried person has opportunities that married folks don’t. An unmarried (person) is concerned about the things of the Lord.” v. 34
3. Being single can increase your blessings 1 Corinthians 7:35 (on screen)
Paul whole point here is that this status of singularity is really a blessing. Single adults, don’t look at your singularity as a curse. Don’t let others look down on you.
Married folks say the weirdest things to single adults. Watch this (video Funny Christians singles hear)
When you get with your married folks, don’t let yourself feel like your 2nd class or spoiled goods or that you haven’t arrived yet. When you go home and your family starts saying, “Well, are you dating anyone special now?”, say, “Well, I have lots of great friends, I’m investing my extra time in kingdom things, and I am fine and content with what God is doing in my life.”
v.35 again (on screen)
Pray
