Are you living, or are you dying? One of my dormmates, Josh, would tell me that all the time. He would say that to encourage me to get out of my room, to stop studying, and to go have some fun, which, in his definition, would be living. Then what is dying? Well, that is what I was doing, and good at doing, that is, sitting in my room, studying and doing homework assignments. Later in the year, as I would study with my dorm room door open, he would just walk past, look in, see me with a book, shake his head, and say, “You’re dying, you’re dying,” and then walk away. I heard this multiple times a day for over thirty weeks. While he wanted me to get out of my room by playfully teasing me, his saying brings up a good point: what is living? As Paul sits in prison, chained to a royal guard, he gives us an answer. He tells us what it means to live.
As Paul tells us his answer, it is helpful to know the context of which he finds himself in. As Paul pens the letter to the Philippians, he is imprisoned, and has been for years now. After he returned from his third missionary journey, he went to Jerusalem. While he was there, he was falsely accused by the Jews of preaching against the Laws of Moses and for defiling the temple by bringing a Gentile into a forbidden part. He was arrested for this. He has been brought before numerous governors and leaders to plead his case and innocence. As he waits for these opportunities, he sits in jail. Just like today, the legal process can be quite slow. I guess somethings don’t change with time. The apostle used his right as a Roman citizen to appeal before the Emperor himself. He wants to go to Rome to appeal and witness to the Emperor. But in the meantime, as Paul waits for this opportunity, he is imprisoned and on house arrest in Rome. He is uncertain of what will happen to him.
As Paul begins his letter, he gives the Philippians an update and some encouragement. He tells them that God is working through his imprisonment. He says that the Gospel is being advanced to people that would not have heard it without this circumstance, which was the royal guard, and Caesar’s household. These guards would have been shackled to Paul all day long. What do you think would happen being shackled next to a pastor? You’re gonna hear about Jesus, or he will at least talk your ear off.
The apostle also says that his imprisonment is a source of encouragement for others to witness and speak about Jesus. Since Paul is not discouraged by his status, it has encouraged the faith and actions of others. It gave them the confidence and boldness that they needed to proclaim Jesus to a hostile world.
I remember asking a friend who was finishing up his doctorate about what is he going to do now that his degree is almost finished. He said that he was going to go back to his home country in Africa and most likely be martyred like his brother. He said he was still going to proclaim Jesus even though this would be his fate. His faith, determination, and bravery amazed and encouraged me. It is the same here with Paul.
It is in this context that Paul gives us his answer. He is chained to a guard, not out in the world. He cannot enjoy the pleasures of this life and has no freedom. Is this really living? Can Paul really speak about this as he is under arrest? Are you living, or are you dying, Paul? The apostle says, “I am living!”
For the apostle, life and living is Jesus. He says, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Jesus is the apostle’s life! The Lord was the beginning of his faith life on that fateful Damascus road encounter where Jesus appeared to Saul. The Lord was also the continuing of his life. There was never a day in which Paul didn’t live in His presence. There was never a day that the Lord wasn’t with him. The Lord will also be the end of his life. With each passing second, Paul was one second, one step closer to being with his Lord. Jesus was the inspiration of his life, and what dominated his thoughts and actions. The Lord gave him a meaning for life, which was to preach and be an apostle. He was also the strength for his life. Christ’s all-sufficient grace was made perfect in Paul’s weaknesses. For Paul, no Jesus equaled no life. Christ was nothing less than life itself. His circumstances had no bearing on this. Paul is not dying, but he is living, and living to the fullest.
But this truth led to a dilemma for Paul. Since life is all about Jesus, to depart from this world and to be with Him is far better. Paul wants to enjoy paradise with His Savior, and to be in His presence. Why wouldn’t he want to be free from the stresses of ministry and from the problems of this life? But on the other hand, while Paul wants to be with Jesus, he is needed here. The Philippians need him. They were not even ten years old as a congregation. Other churches needed him. Other people needed him, like the young pastor Timothy. What to do?
Paul has the confidence that he will remain in this life. He figures that if he has another day, he will use that day in service to the Lord and to others. If the Lord doesn’t grant him another day, then that it means he will be with His Lord, which is far better. For Paul, this is what to live looks like. To live is Christ. If he stays, good. If he goes home, better. Paul is living. He is not dying.
Are you living, or are you dying? As we hear about Paul’s dilemma, we can’t help but relate. My sister Kaitlin caught pneumonia at two and a half, and was on a ventilator because her lungs gave out and collapsed. To get her out of bed, we would set her in a wagon, outside of the room in front of the PICU ward’s doors. She liked to watch them open and close, and to see the people come in and out. She didn’t talk much, if ever, because of the trach that she had. But when she did speak, you would listen. One day, she turned to me and said one word: “Home.” My heart sunk at hearing that. I knew all that that one word entailed. She was hurting, and suffering deeply. She wanted to be out of there and back at the house. To that, I could only respond, “soon.”
We can know what it is like to turn to Jesus and say, “Home.” Maybe we are saying that right now as our bodies might be devastated and damaged by disease. Maybe it is uttered because of sad and seemingly insurmountable situations. Perhaps old age might just be overwhelming. However, we can also say this out of joy and excitement too, for we know that one day we will be with our Savior. This doesn’t have to be said in just times of trouble or pain. We know that being with Christ is far greater than anything here.
But like with the apostle, we might have a feeling of necessity too. Our family might need us. Maybe we have aging parents and relatives that need us. It could be a spouse and children. It might be a neighbor or friend. We might want to stay and serve our Lord and His people. We want to be with Jesus, but we can have a pull here like the apostle.
It is in this same dilemma that Paul points us to Christ, our life. Jesus gave up His life for us so that we could have life, and eternal life. We live through faith in His perfect life, being forgiven, declared righteous, and as God’s child. Like with the apostle, Jesus is our life.
Not only did God begin our life at conception, He began our spiritual life through baptism, where we were joined to Him in His death and resurrection to walk in the newness of life. We live our life in Him now, living in His grace, love, protection, and care. He is with us with every step that we take in this life. We will end our life in Him, where we will one day be with Him fully. Whether that happens by death or His Second Coming, this will happen for us. Jesus is the inspiration of our life and the motivation of our good works. He is the meaning of our life. The reason we get out of bed in the morning does not rest in us, but in rests in Him. We live for Him. We live our lives in service to Him and to tell others about Him. Who do you come into contact in your life that you can spread this Word to? Jesus is also the strength of our life. He gets us through life’s hurricanes and sustains us. His grace is made perfect in our weaknesses, flaws, and inabilities.
Jesus is our life. To live is Christ. Our life is not defined by the cool gadgets and toys we have. Neither is it defined by the phones we use, the money we have, the home we own, or the things we have done. These things aren’t life. They only created problems, worries, and disappointments anyways. Jesus is life. To live is Him. If we live another day, good. We have another day to live in His grace and love, and to serve Him. If we don’t, better, we get to go be with Him. Jesus is our life, and we have life in Him.
So, I ask you, are you living, or are you dying? I think you know the answer to that. IN HIS NAME, AMEN.
