Relationships are what make life worth living. After all, as we have pointed out in this series, it's through our relationship with God that we learn how to live life to the fullest. Since God is the author of all life, it's right to conclude if I'm going to live life as I ought, I need to have a personal connection with the One who is the designer of all life.
In the Bible, we find God's guidance for how to live life as He designed it. One thing we're told is if life is to be lived to the fullest, we must endeavor to maintain right relationships - with both God and man.
We've focused on maintaining a right relationship with God. I want to turn our attention to what's involved in maintaining a right relationship with our fellow man. God calls upon His people to be peacemakers.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." - Matthew 5:9 (NIV)
But, "Who is it that will recognize us as 'The children of God' if we are relating to others as we should?" This couldn't refer to God. God knows His own, whether anyone else does or not. No, the person who needs to know I'm a child of God, that I have a connection with God that's made a difference in my life, one that can be made in their life, too, is the person who has yet to give their life to Christ.
Jesus said the world will know we truly have a connection with Him, is by how we who claim to be Christians relate to one another.
"All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other." - John 13:35 (Easy to Read)
Paul knew it is impossible for our WALK with God or our WITNESS to the world to be what it should if we cannot WORK in harmony with our brothers and sisters in Christ. That's why he emphasizes the value of God's people working in harmony through-out Philippians (1:27; 2:1-2; 2:14-16a).
Over and over, the Scriptures teach it is impossible for our WALK with God or our WITNESS to the world to be what it should if we can't WORK in harmony with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
This brings us to chapter 4, verses 2 & 3. Paul goes from "preaching" to "meddling," as he addresses two ladies who were having difficulty working in harmony. (Read Text)
There are two things in this passage on how to maintain right relationships in the body of Christ.
1. Our method for doing so -
A. Accept personal responsibility -
Note the double use of the word, "plead" in verse 2. Paul was saying there was enough blame to go around. That each party needed to admit fault and do their part if the conflict was to be resolved.
When it comes to conflict, two common mistakes are made - 1) I take all the blame on myself; or 2) I place all the blame on the other person. Rarely is either of these the true. Each party bears a level of responsibility in the conflict and needs to honestly own up to it.
"It's a mighty flat pancake that has only one side." - Adrian Rogers
Two men in a small village got into a dispute they couldn't resolve. So they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage's home and told his version of what happened. When finished, the sage said, "You're absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side. The sage responded, "You're absolutely right." Afterward, the sage's wife scolded her husband. "Those men told two different stories and you said they were absolutely right. They can't both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You're absolutely right."
B. Follow proper procedures -
Apparently the conflict between these ladies had grown to where the church was taking sides. Otherwise, Paul would not have addressed their conflict in a letter that was to be read to the entire congregation.
Apparently, these women found their differences too difficult for them to overlook them. They'd tried to discuss the problem, and to negotiate an agreement, all to no avail. It was time to get help; to be assisted through mediation. Paul addresses the mediator as "loyal yokefellow." Some suggest this should be translated as a proper name - "Syzygus." At any rate, Paul had an individual in mind to mediate their dispute.
"But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'" - Matthew 18:16 (NIV)
Jesus didn't say to get some friends and go back and "gang up" on the person with whom we have a disagreement. He says to get help from one or two objective third parties to help mediate the conflict.
Notice that neither of these women seem to be "troublemakers." In fact, they were held in high esteem by Paul. Which goes to show that even good, well intentioned believers can find themselves in conflict they need help to resolve. There's no shame in getting help when you need it;the shame is in knowing you need help and not getting it!
2. Our motive for doing so - Paul reminded them of what they shared:
A. Positionally - They both were "in the Lord," so their minds ought to be directed toward Christ. We must seek to resolve minor conflicts to further our major cause: glorify Christ and reach a lost world.
"Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become unity conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship." -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
B. Experientially - They shared the experience of contending at Paul's side for the Gospel. Often, folks in conflict have served alongside one another. That's because two people can't share the same space long without experiencing some sort of "friction." But we can't be quick to throw away the potential to be achieved through working together!
In a Peanuts cartoon Lucy demands Linus change TV channels. "What makes you think you can walk in here and take over?" he asks. "These five fingers," she says, "Individually they're nothing but curled together in a single unit, they form a weapon terrible to behold." Turning away to change the channel, Linus looks at his fingers and says, "Why can't you guys get organized like that?"
C. Relationally - Paul spoke of "Clement and the rest of my fellow workers," reminding them their friends would have to "take sides" or withdraw from having a meaningful relationship with either of them. This is how "church splits" happen.
D. Spiritually - Paul reminded them that they had been born from above, that their names were written in the book of life and would one day be in heaven together. Why not work together now?
John Wesley once told of a dream he had. In the dream, he was ushered to the gates of Hell. There he asked, "Are there any Presbyterians here?" "Yes!", came the answer. Then he asked, "Are there any Baptists? Any Episcopalians? Any Methodists?" The answer was "Yes" each time. Much distressed, Wesley was then ushered to the gates of Heaven. There he asked the same question, and the answer was No! "No?" To this, Wesley asked, "Who then is inside?" The answer came back, "There are only Christians here."
"Make every effort (strive like a warrior) to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:3 (NIV)
The unity of the Spirit is based on our common position in Christ, our common experience with Christ, our common relationship with Christ, & our common destination through Christ. And we need to make every effort to focus on these things that bind us and not on what divides us.
Conclusion: Tom Wolf says there are two primary reasons many are still without Christ today: 1) They do not know a Christian. This has to do with a of lack of information - they don't know the difference Christ can make. 2) They know a Christian. This has to do with a lack of inspiration - they don't see the difference Christ can make. Conflict can result in either of these. What's the answer? Repentance!
