The Others: Living In Community
Bottom Line: The best shot you and I have of following Jesus. The best shot you and I have of making it through the storms of this life is when we do life together.
Intro
Good morning Real Life, my name is Curtis and I’m the Connections Director here. And it’s great to be here with you all this morning.
We are continuing our series called The Others this morning. Throughout this series we are going to be looking at what it means to live life together. Because we believe community is important. We believe life is meant to be lived together.
A few years ago before my wife and I moved here and start working here at Real Life we had sold our house and left our jobs. And we decided to travel. So we spend a month in the Pacific Northeast, we drove across Montana, went to the grand canyon, spent a week in Vegas, and just went all over the place.
It was some of the best months of my life. Some of my favorite memories of our marriage. But towards the end, after 3 or so months I started sensing something was missing. Well besides our jobs and our house… With all the traveling and we left our community. We left our people. So by the end of that part of life I really started to understand the importance of having others in our life. And I was ready to get back into living life with others.
It was one of the first times I felt the need for that in my life. I have always known community is important. But that was the first time I felt the need for it.
And that’s what we hope to do with this series. To show you why you need community. And to challenge and equip you to do life with others.
Last week we talked about how we can get along with people that don’t look, act, think, or vote like us. And if you missed that message I would encourage you to go to our website or download our podcast and catch up.
The verse that we have been using for this whole series is Eph 2:14… 14 For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.
In other words, what we have been saying throughout this series is that it is Jesus sacrifice that allows us to live in community with people. The others, with those people… Whoever they are in our life. We can now live at peace with them because of what Jesus has done.
Today we are going to look at what it actually means to actually have a relationship with those in this church. How do we live in community with other Christians.
Tension
We are one of, if not the most, connected cultures in history. We get notifications ever hour delivered to our phones about the latest news, weather, sports, what our friends are doing, and comments on how your latest photo you posted. We are connected in a way never seen before. But yet we are also some of the most disconnected people ever. We might be able to know a few things about a lot of people. But we don’t have deep relationships with almost anyone.
The problem is God created us for community. God created us for deep relationships. Life is not meant to be lived alone. I’m convinced that the best shot you and I have of following Jesus. The best shot you and I have of making it through the storms of this life is when we do life together. I believe that. And I think you do to. I think we all know that’s true. We just don’t know how to get to that place.
Here’s the reality… We all have something that keeps us from community. We all have something that keeps us from going into something more then surface level relationships.
And today we are going to look at the early churches example of community and what God says about why community is important. But before we get there I want to look at what some of the common barriers in our lives our to community.
Busyness
I think we can all relate to this… I don’t have time to get into deeper relationships because…. Fill in that blank for you. Work, school, sports, kids, hobbies, projects… The greatest time of the year is just around the corner, football season… And I guarantee you I will at some point decline some kind of invite to do something because I want to watch a game.
We’ve filled our lives with so much stuff that we don’t have room for anything else.
Apathy
You’re in church so you cannot lie… How many of you have thought, I just don’t want to… ? I’m not really interested in joining a Life Group. I don’t really want to go out to dinner with them tonight. I don’t see the benefit opening up to others. I’m just not sure I care about this whole community thing… Come on, how many of you have felt that? Yeah… Me too…
I think what it comes down to, is we just don’t value community. We think we can do without it.
Scared to be Vulnerable
A lot of us have questions that go something like this… Is this a safe place? If I tell them who I really am, will they still like me? If I tell them what I’m struggling with I’ll probably just get kicked out. I can’t show them the real me… Some of you feel this way because you’ve been hurt in the past by what somebody did when you showed them the real you. Others you just aren’t sure how vulnerable you can be.
Some form of this probably describes most of us in this room. We keep all our relationships surface level, safe. We keep people at an arms length. Not allowing anyone too close because we are afraid of what they will see.
But the life changing community that the Bible talks about cannot happen when we don’t let people into our lives.
Before we look at the early churches example here’s what you need to recognize. The direction you choose for your life will determine the target you hit. (leave up until next time I use it)
Here’s what I mean if you choose a busy life, a safe life, if you never put effort into community you will never have deep relationships. You do not get anywhere in life by accident. If you do not intentional choose to pursue community you will not end up with it.
Think about it this way… How many of you enjoy going to the gun range? I love it. When I’m at the range my whole goal is to hit a target as precise as I can. I set up a target 100yrds away and then take aim and pull the trigger. If I aimed correctly I will hit the target. And even if I maybe wobbled a little bit I’ll still get close, maybe not a bullseye but I’d be close because I took aim. I pointed the gun in the right direction.
Years ago I took a friend shooting and I was teaching him the basics and it was not going well. I set up a target for him to shoot but as he was about to shoot a bird flew by. Not wanting to hurt an animal he decided he no longer wanted to shoot the direction of the target and asked if he could shoot the flower to his left… I know… I gave him the same look you are giving me. He aimed at a flower 15ft away… and missed…
Now he didn’t hit his target because he wasn’t aimed at it. And we all get that. Nobody is sitting wondering why he didn’t hit the target I set up for him. He didn’t hit it because he wasn’t aimed at it. Why? Because there was a barrier he wasn’t willing to cross.
That same principle is true for your life. The direction you choose for your life will determine the target you hit.
If you do not intentionally choose to pursue community in your life you will not miraculous have deep relationships one day. You have to aim your life at community. Which inevitably means you have to overcome some barriers to do so.
I get it, it’s tough. But if you want to best shot at following Jesus in your life you’ve got to set the course for your life. You’ve got to get through the barriers.
Truth
After Jesus rose from the dead he hung around for 40 days and saw over 500 people. Which is one of the strongest evidences for our faith. 500 people say Jesus and say they same thing… That’s tough to make up. After the 40 days were up Jesus ascended into heaven and all of a sudden these new believers were left to figure out what to do now. They were left to carry out all the Jesus had told them.
And that’s what the book of Acts is about. It’s book of history about the early church. So what we are going to do is we are going to look at the community that existed in the first few years of the church and see what we can learn. We are going to look at the model they set up and then figure out how we can get there.
Here’s the picture we have of the church.
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47
These guys are the very first Christians… They are the very first church. There is no one else. And when we say “church” understand this was very different than what happens here on Sunday. They didn’t have lights and fancy music. They didn’t have comfy chairs to sit in. They didn’t have an info center to get info from. They didn’t even have the Bible as we know it.
To make matters worse many of them are going to lose their families and be kicked out of their communities because of their new beliefs. And from the very beginning they recognize that the best shot they had of following Jesus and getting through what is coming is by doing life together.
I think sometimes we get distracted today by what church has become. Don’t get me wrong, we what do Sundays is great. But the beauty of the church is not in a Sunday service. It’s in the community. We see this in the early church, because they didn’t have anything else. They only had each other. So they set up this model that has been in place in churches ever since. And I think is a good reminder for us today…
1. They listened to the apostles teach.
This would be the equivalent of listening to a sermon on Sunday morning. But from the very beginning we see it set as the church learns and is taught together. The point of this isn’t that they were getting information. Rather that they were learning, being encouraged, and challenged together.
2. They Had Fellowship
Fellowship is a weird word that I don’t think is very well understood. There are all these weird connotations about what this word really means. But here’s how you should think about it. Think about your best friend… Think about the things you do with them. That’s fellowship. You laugh together. You cry together. You go on trips together. You share secrets. You encourage one an other. You challenge each other. And in this case you push them to look more like Jesus.
That’s fellowship. There’s a lot packed into that one word. And that’s what the early church did.
3. They Broke Bread
This has 2 implications…
If you remember that last meal Jesus had with his disciples, right before he went to the cross, right before he ate with them he took the bread and broke it. And then he told them to do this in remembrance of him. In other words whenever they eat they were supposed to break bread to remember what Jesus had done for them. It’s not coincidence that Luke, who was at the last meal with Jesus and who wrote the book of Acts, used the same word Jesus. Luke is telling us that they broke bread to remember what Jesus did from them.
The second implication is the community that comes from eating together. We’ve lost some of this today. We often just eat around our tv and families go out to eat everyone just stares at their phones. But eating together historical has been significant. Even back in Judaism God commanded that his people be hospitable. And the early church continued this. They would regularly eat together.
I can’t explain this. But there is just something about eating with people. Sharing a meal might be one of the biggest community builders there is.
4. They Prayed
Last, but certainly not least is prayer… Today we view prayer as something we do alone by ourselves, right before a meal, or by a pastor in public. And while all those ways of prayer are valid we have lost some of the importance of praying together. Prayer in the early church was not just something people did alone. But something they practiced together. They would actually pray for each other and with each other.
Do you notice anything in common with these 4 practices established by the early church? The all have strong elements of community. They did these things together. They had close relationships with each other. All of these things were done together.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is thinking that we can do life alone. With advancement of technology and all the good that has come from making life easier. One of the biggest pitfalls is believing that we don’t need each other. Or at least living like we don’t.
The early church from the very beginning knew they needed each other and they remained plugged in. And that’s what we need to be reminded of today.
The call of Christians is not to go to church. It’s to be in community within the church.
This message today isn’t to check your weekly good Christian deeds box for regular church attendance. The goal isn’t to have perfect church attendance. You can make to church every week and not have the community that we see in the early church.
The goal is to remain involved in others lives and let them remain involved in yours.
Coming to church can help you live like this. But coming to church alone is not enough. Listen, if you are only coming to church to hear a message and sing a few songs your missing the point. You can get that anywhere. You can listen to 1000s of sermons and download every worship song ever and listen to it where ever you want.
If that’s all you ever get out of church you are missing the bigger point. You are missing the main benefit of being apart of a church. The whole point is that you and I don’t have to do life alone.
The purpose of the church is to provide a community for you. A community that in the good times will celebrate with. In the bad times will hold you up. A community that won’t chase you away because you are messy. A community that will push you to become better. A community that encourages you when you want to give up. And loves you no matter what. That’s the purpose of church.
And you can’t get that if all you ever do is show up to church on a Sunday morning a few times a month.
Remember earlier when we said: The direction you choose for your life will determine the target you hit.
You’ve got to set the right target. Because you won’t unintentionally stumble into community.
That’s why the writer of Hebrews says this: And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25
Did you catch that first verse? Let us consider how… Let’s word that a little differently… Let’s set the direction of our lives to love an other, do good works, not neglecting to meet together.
You don’t stumble into community. You have to intentional set the direction of your life for it.
We all have our reasons, our excuses why we don’t. We look at some of those early. We’re busy, we’re tired, maybe we don’t care, or maybe we are afraid of showing the real me.
When I was first entering into college I was just starting to figure out what it meant to live in community with others. And my biggest fear, the thing that kept me from that community, was what will they do when they find out who I really am?
I was a mess, but I was pretty good at hiding it. I could put on my good Christian face and pretend everything was okay. But the problem was I couldn’t let people get close to me, because they might see the real me. So I kept people at an arms length, I avoided that real community.
I thought for sure that if I told them what sin I was struggling with, if I told them I wasn’t sure what I believed in every area, if I messed up and said something that hurt someone then they would never let me be their friends anymore.
After struggling with this for awhile I realized that my only shot at actually making it following Jesus was if I finally got over my fear. I realized that I was never going to become more like Jesus on my own. And look I tried… I tried everything. For years I tried to overcome sin by myself. I tried to encourage myself, to pick myself up, I tried to do life on my own. But it just doesn’t work.
So I opened up. I let a few of my friends in. I told them what I was struggling with. I opened up to them about difficulties in my life. I showed them to real me. And to my surprise they didn’t reject me. They didn’t ridicule me. Rather they said. Yeah me too… Yeah I’ve been there, I’ve struggled with that… Me too.
That started off a friendship, a community that I know I could always go too. It grew into a community that I knew was there for me, that I could call when I needed something. It was my first experience with the community that the early church had. We challenged each other, encouraged each other. When someone had a bad day we were there for them. When something good happened we all went out to celebrate. We were in community. And my life started to change, my faith came alive, things I once struggled with back history, difficult seasons became bearable. I had people to do life life.
Now it didn’t happen over night. But it did happen little by little, piece by piece.
I can’t promise you that if you invite someone in it will go that way. I know some of you have been burned before. But I can promise you that the best shot you have of following Jesus is with others around you. Life was not meant to be lived alone. So at some point you have a decision to make. Do you want to risk it and let others in? Or do you want to keep doing life on your own.
Application
I believe you need community. I do… That’s the model the early church set up and throughout the bible, verse after verse, the writers talk about the importance of community. Life apart from the help and support of others is hard.
So maybe it’s time to break down the walls that are holding you back from community. I don’t know what that is for you. For be it was fear. Maybe that’s you too. Maybe you’re too busy. Maybe you don’t even have one night free to give to any form of community. Maybe you didn’t recognize the importance.
Set the direction for your life. Take a risk. Say no to something that isn’t as important. Give it a shot.
I’m not sure what your barriers are. I’m not sure what’s keeping you from community. But I know your life will benefit from having it. I know that it’s worth overcoming whatever it is holding you back. So we are going to look at a few things you can do to grow your community around you…
Find Your People
The first thing you need to do is find your people. The way that we do this at Real Life is through Life Groups. These groups meet weekly, some do discussion questions based off the sermon other do their own study that they choose. But the whole point of these groups is to put you in a position where you can connect with other people that will accept you, love you, encourage you, and push you closer to Jesus.
We looked at the example of the early church and I think our groups are the closest thing to the early church that we have. Remember they were the first church. So they didn’t have fancy buildings, cool worship, or really anything organized. What they had was each other. They met in homes. They ate together, talked about life, prayed together, and talked about the latest teaching from the apostles. It was small groups of Christians gathering regularly in peoples houses.
Now 2000 years later we are more organized. We have church buildings… Well we don’t, but most churches do… We have technology, thousands of worship songs, we have bulletins, and programs. We have all this stuff. And listen it’s great. But let’s not forget the power of the church is NOT in those things. The power of the church is when you and I sit down in a living room together, eat some food, and talk about how life is going, encourage each other, pray together, laugh together, and do life with one an other.
And as great as our Sunday mornings are here, and they are! If all you ever do is come a few times a month on a Sunday you are missing out on the more important aspect of church.
So find your people. The easiest way is to join a group this fall. We have all kinds of groups. And they are all open, so you can try a few to see which one is the best fit.
This year we have 5 new Life Groups starting. So I promise we have room for you! We have 3-4 family groups that have something for your kids, we have a new single moms group, my wife and I lead a group for married couples, we have a new young adults group, since we don’t have a building men’s ministry has split into several groups, we have women’s ministry and a moms group, I always get in trouble when I say this… But we have groups for people with kids out of the house… We have a group that will fit you.
And if we don’t have the group you are looking for. I will help you start one.
Find your people. Pick up that sheet mark what group you want to join and drop it off at the info center on your way out. Whatever group you sign up for that leader will contact you and answer any questions and tell you about the group. I know it’s scary to take that first step. But I promise, it’s worth the risk.
Share With Your People
Once you find your people you have to tell your people about your life. Now this isn’t this is not something you do on the first night… I think we’ve all been around that over-sharer. But eventually you are going to have to start participating in conversation.
Our groups are a place where you can be open with what your thinking. Some of my favorite conversation have come from after we read a passage or watch a video someone says, yeah I’m not sure I believe that. Okay, let’s talk about it. That’s the whole point.
Or when something tough comes up and someone says I’m not sure I can do that, but I want too. Or You know I said I was going to work on this last week and I didn’t. I’m struggling with my relationship with God. I’m not sure I’m where I’m supposed to be. Work has sucked and I don’t know what to do.
It’s real life stuff. Whatever you have going on, whatever questions about life or the Bible, whatever struggles you have. When you find your people it’s a safe place to open up and be you. And when you do that that’s when your people can start helping you.
Invite Others to be Your People
Community is meant to be shared… Here’s what happens a lot… We find a group of friends we really like. We hang out and we start growing each other and it’s great. But then at some point we decide our group is closed. We don’t want anyone else to join in.
But let me ask you… If you found great benefit in something don’t you want to share that with others? If living in community has changed your life shouldn’t you tell others so that they can experience it too?
We cannot close our people off. We have to keep inviting others in. So when you see someone in church that’s not part of a community somewhere. Invite them in. I hear stories every so often of people in Life Groups that invite their neighbors and others in, that’s great! Keep bring others into community that will change them.
Conclusion
The best shot you and I have of following Jesus. The best shot you and I have of making it through the storms of this life is when we do life together. Maybe you need to find your people for the first time. Maybe you’ve found your people, but you haven’t really shared anything about you. Or maybe you need to invite others into the community you already have.
Your life is a result of where you pointed it years ago… In 5 years, in 10 years, where do you want your life to be? If you want a group of people to do life with, the good, the bad, and the otherwise. Then you need to set that direction now. Because you aren’t going to stumble into community. You have to intentional choose it.
In a year or so we are going to have a new building that’s going to look great. We are going to be back at our old location. But i hope that’s not what Real Life is known for. I hope we aren’t known for having a cool looking building. I hope we are known for a group of people that love each other, support each other, and invite others into their community. With a building, or without a building.
Isn’t that what you want to be known for? The power of the church is when we get smaller and build our community. So let’s commit to community this year. Sign up for a group, commit to your old group. Show up, get into each others lives. Invite people over for dinner or for the football game. Don’t neglect meeting together.
Let’s grow the community here at Real Life. Prayer…
