The Others: Living With Those We Disagree
Text: Ephesians 2:11-22
Bottom Line: When we live in community with those that are different then us we show a little taste of heaven to those around us.
Intro
Good morning Real Life, my name is Curtis and I’m the Connections Director here. And it’s great to be here with you all this morning. We are going to be kicking off a new series called The Others today.
Throughout this series we are going to be looking at what it looks like to live life with THOSE people… You know who I’m talking about… I’m guessing as I said that somebody or some group came to mind. We all have those people in our lives… Maybe even in our homes. So we want to take a few weeks before school starts back up, Life Groups kick off, mens/womens get going, before family comes in for the holidays, and all the crazy comes back… And figure out exactly what it means to do life with people… Those we like, those we don’t like, and those we just can’t seem to get along with.
This week we are going to look at how we can love those people that we don’t like. Those people that we don’t get along with. That have different political views. Those people that view the Bible differently then we do. Those people the pray different, vote different, interact with their family differently, and even those people that like teams like the Patriots… Yes even THOSE people… My people.
Tension
And I’ll be honest. I don’t think we do a good job loving people that are different then us. We like to associate with people that think like us, vote like us, and believe what we believe, eat what we eat, and like the same movies we like. We like to stay in our comfort zone. And when we see someone that believes differently then us we lash out.
One thing that will get me fired up and angry faster than anything else is when I see a Christian berating someone else over their views. Nothing gets me mad as quick as when I log on Facebook and see a Christian calling people names, claiming that if you don’t vote this way they you don’t love God, pointing fingers and belittling others. Because that is the opposite of what we are supposed to do.
Jesus is for ALL people. Which includes that person we cannot stand.
When you post something or say something that is bashing a person, a president, a leader, a group of people, a profession, or a political party, you are bashing someone that Jesus died for. You are spewing hate at someone that Jesus told you to love. You are doing the opposite of what the Bible says to do.
That is not what Jesus called us to do. We are called to live in unity with each other. We are called to love one an other.
And listen… When I say that we don’t do a good job at loving people different then us, I’m including myself. I’m not sure what you all think of me… But I’m not a good person. Anything good you see in me is because of Jesus. I’m a bad christian. The reason I know that this topic is important is because it’s brought disunity to my life. The people that typically offend me the most are other Christians. I can get so irritated when I read something or see some Christian group, person, church, or organization doing something I think is wrong.
I’ll go off on them… Well not to their face… I say what I want to say to them to my wife or a few close friends… I will tear them apart. Because I know that they are wrong and I am right. And how dare they believe that, say that, or act that way. They should know that I am right and they should start believing what I believe.
The things that set me off are probably different for you… But can relate can’t you? You overhear that conversation, your co-workers bring up that issue, you see that Facebook post, or whatever… And that’s it. It gets under your skin and you go off. Maybe you say something to their face if your bold, maybe you just write anonymous comment, or complain to a friend/spouse, or maybe you just have an argument in your head with them… Yeah you know what I’m talking about…
For much of my life I thought what does it matter? I’m entitled to my opinions plus I’m right. Therefore I’m justified in my beliefs. But shortly after I got married I started seeing the damage my approach had on others and on me.
I was a few years into my first full-time church gig and there was a lot of conflict. I mean a lot of conflict. It was the kind of stuff that made me question whether I really even wanted to be in the church. The kind of conflict that you can’t just leave at the door, you take it with you everywhere. The kind of conflict that doesn’t accomplish anything, it just further entrenches you on your side. You know what I’m talking about.
And I’d come home every day and just let it all out to my wife. I’d just vent. Tell her all the reasons I was right and they were wrong. Tell her how bad things were. And after a few months of doing that I noticed my wife’s view of those people I was talking about change. She no longer wanted to talk to them and just wanted to avoid them.
It was at that point I realized the effect of my actions. Whether I was right or wrong didn’t matter. I had played a part in creating a barrier among Christians… In the church. I had not sought to solve the conflict and only made it worse by entrenching myself in my views.
I’m guessing I’m not the only one that’s experienced this… Maybe it didn’t play out like my story. But you’ve experienced this. Maybe you saw something someone in church posted about the latest political issue and the next time you saw them you didn’t want to talk to them. Or maybe you said something to someone you shouldn’t have, but rather then apologize you just let it fester and hurt your relationship. Or maybe you really screwed up and you really hurt someone but you couldn’t bring yourself to go seek forgiveness.
We all have these barriers that we’ve put up. Some big, some small. But they all bring disunity to the church. They hurt our community and divide our families. And that’s got to stop. And this isn’t a new thing… We’ve had disagreement’s going all the way back to when Adam and Eve left the garden. What’s new is our generation doesn’t know how to handle conflict as well as we have in the past.
We have to learn how to live together in community with unity. Listen… Other views, whether political, theological, or lifestyle, are NOT the enemy. Those people, whoever they are to you are not the enemy.
We are going to look at a passage today and we are going see that we are never told to close our circles and associate with only likeminded people. We are told to live in community with people that are different then us. And we’ve got to get better at that…
Truth
We are going to be looking at a passage today in the book of Ephesians. Before Ephesians was put into the Bible as we know it, it was a letter to an ancient church. Paul, one of the early church leaders, would write these letters to challenge, encourage, and inform the early church at specific locations. The way this would work is he would normally send it to a certain church in a particular area they would read it and then pass it along to the next church, they would read it and pass it along to the next church and soon on and soon on…
This letter, or book, that we will look at today was written to the church in Ephesus. And I would argue that this book contains some of the most important verses Bible. Paul talks some of the major themes of the Gospel and addresses them in this letter. If you are new to following Jesus or are just trying to figure out what you believe start go read John, Romans, and Ephesians. This book contains some of the most important verses in the Bible.
You can go ahead and open your bible or flip over on your phone to Ephesians 2:11… This passage is apex, the highpoint, of the book. And if you were to go read Ephesians later today, and you should, you would notice this same theme that we are about to see played out over and over again. And that theme is unity…
Check this out.
11 Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called “uncircumcised heathens” by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it affected only their bodies and not their hearts. 12 In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope.
By the time this book was written they were moving onto the 2nd generation Christians. In other words the first people that decided to follow Jesus right after he died and rose again had kids and now those kids had started to forget that past. Paul is reminding them that it wasn’t so long ago that they were without hope. They were excluded from citizenship with God which in the OT was only for Israelites.
Paul is reminding them of their past… And we too need this reminder. At some point you and I lived in this world without God and without hope. Maybe you are currently living that. We have all lived, or are living, that story at some point. Don’t miss this next verse…
13 But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ.
But now… What great words. But now… We were once without hope, we were lost, we were excluded… But now that is no longer your story…
Here’s what Paul is trying to get at… At one point in your life you were without God. At one point you were lost in your mistakes, your sin. You had no hope. In Romans Paul tells us that the consequences of this life that we once had was death. That’s the direction our lives were heading.
But then Jesus entered the picture and our story changes… You see our sin kept us from being in relationship with God. But Jesus took the consequences of our sin upon himself. He said you no longer have to suffer for your mistakes. I will suffer in your place. And because of that we went from being far from God to being near. We went from being hopeless to being filled with joy. We went from being excluded from citizenship to being called sons and daughters. For all who follow God we now have a new life.
Paul here is reminding us where we were and where we are now. We have a tendency to forget. We forget we were once lost, we forget the sacrifice Jesus paid for us. Sure we know this in our head, but our lives don’t reflect it. We live like we’ve forgotten. And Paul is reminding us.
?He continues on…
14 For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. 15 He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. 16 Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.
Let me read that last verse again.. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.
We often recognize that God saves us from eternal punishment. We get that, we talk about that a lot… But Jesus sacrifice on the cross goes a lot further than just a get out of hell free card. Paul is telling us that not only do we no longer have to suffer the enteral consequences for our sin. But also the things that used to keep us apart… The things that we used to fight about that divided us… Our differences, our opinions, our lifestyles, all those things no long divide us. Jesus put to death on the cross our hostility towards each other.
Listen.. Because of what Christ did on the cross you and I can live at peace not only with each other… But with “those” people.
Jesus death on the cross allows us to enter into heaven and into community with each other. He brought peace to our relationship with God and in our relationships with each other.
Let me ask you… Do you see that peace today? Does it seem like hostility has been put to death currently? Now I’m not talking about what’s going on in this country or the world… I mean here. In the Church, in THIS church, in YOUR life. Do you see peace? With your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, the person you are sitting next too… Is there peace?
Let’s get a little more personal… Can you say in your life there’s no hostility towards the person that worships God different than you? Can you say that there is peace between you and that person that has a different theology than you do? How about this, can you hold a conversation with a Christian that voted the opposite of you on an issue or for the president? How about the person that posts all sorts of ridiculous things on their Facebook, are you at peace with them?
These are the walls that Jesus tore down when He died on the cross. Christians aren’t called to think the same, believe the same, vote the same, and be the same person. But we are called to live in community, we are called to be in unity.
Check out how Paul ends this section…
17 He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near. 18 Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us. Ephesians 2:11-18
This is the good news… This is what we are supposed to be telling the world, and not just with our words but how we live. This is the message of the Gospel that is for everyone… Not just the people that look like you, vote like you, think like you, post like you, and have families that act like yours.
The good news of the Gospel is that all of us, everyone single person on the earth, can now come to the Father because of what Jesus did on the cross. We can now have peace with God. Our sins, which is just a fancy word for our mistakes, are no longer counted against us. We can live in freedom. And the best part is that this isn’t a future event that starts when we die in eternity. Yes Jesus says all who love him will be in heaven with him, we have that promise. But the message of the Gospel is that heaven came down to earth.
Listen… Eternity doesn’t start when we die… It starts now. Jesus sacrifice means that we don’t suffer the eternal consequences for our sin AND that we can live in community with each other now. That’s the good news. And that’s why this church exists. Because Jesus broke down the walls of hostility that were keeping us apart. And now we can live life together. We can be at peace with each other even though we have differences. And when we do that people will see that something is different in us. And we will be able to tell them about the love the God has for us and them.
But let me ask you… What do you think happens when someone that isn’t interested in Jesus looks at the church and just sees bickering? What message are they getting about God when they see that picture?
Let’s get more personal… What do people see when they look at Real Life Christian Church? Do they see the peace that Paul is talking about? Do they see a variety of people, with different backgrounds, that are living life together?
How about this… When it comes to your family, your friends, your coworkers, do people see how you can live at peace with people that are drastically different then you? Or when you look around your circle of people you hang out with, work with, and live with do they all look like you, vote like you, act like you, and think like you? Can you live at peace with those that might not be like you?
Here’s the bottom line… When we live in community with those that are different than us we show a little taste of heaven to those around us.
Here’s what we need to understand… When we fail to do this. When we point at other Christians and tear them down. When we criticize those that are different then us… We still tell others something about heaven, about God, it’s just not accurate.
We might not be able to change how others are living. And that’s not our job. But we can do everything in our power to live at peace with those in our life. We can make sure the what others see in us points them back to the sacrifice Jesus made that allows us to live the way we do. That’s our job. That’s why Jesus talked so much about your love for me is shown in how you love and care for those around you.
Application
We got some work to do… We all do. And I know this because I got some work to do…
There’s two parts of this we need to look at… How we live in community with Christians, which we will talk about more next week. And how we live in community with those that don’t believe what we do. This is important because how to live with those that are different tells the world something about God.
I struggle to live in community. I do. Because I have my ideas, my beliefs, and when someone comes into my life and believes differently then I do you know what my first thought is? Your wrong… I’m right… And here’s why…
I got work to do… And here’s what I’ve learned through my mistakes that I think is what we all struggle with…
We, as Christians, are obsessed, with telling people who’s in and who’s out. We are… We love to judge people and say because you believe this about heaven or hell you aren’t really a Christian. We love to tell people because you don’t think that thing is a sin you must not love Jesus. We love to tell people how they are wrong and why we are right. And here’s what we are doing… We are telling people who’s in and who’s out. Who God loves and who he doesn’t…
Here’s the problem… God has made it VERY clear who’s in… God has made it very easy to understand who He loves… And that’s everyone. Jesus is for ALL people. That person that you cannot stand, that has those views that just get under your skin, that person is someone Jesus died for. That person is someone Jesus said I love you and I want you to be in.
And we’ve got to stop pointing fingers at each other… We’ve got too. It’s killing the church…
One of my favorite authors is Philip Yancey and he’s written some books that have rocked my thinking. And he wrote this one book on grace called What’s So Amazing about Grace. And in one chapter he’s talking about how Christians like to attack each other and the message that sends to the world. In his book he talks about an opportunity he had to meet with Bill Clinton in the late 90s.
Clinton told him this… “I've been in politics long enough to expect criticism and hostility. But I was unprepared for the hatred I get from Christians. Why do Christians hate so much?”
Is that what we want to be known for? I mean seriously, is that what we want to be known for? Don’t get caught up in the politics, put that aside. The church is often known for how we tell people if they are in and out. And that’s not our job. God tells us that everyone is in. God tells us we can live in unity with each other. So when we are known for being about hate, we are doing something wrong.
Not much has changed since that interview. I read a few studies a few weeks ago about how non-christians perceive Christians and the two biggest things that stood out were non-christians thought Christians were self-centered and judgmental and they thought they were unwilling to develop friendships with those that think differently.
Does that sound like the walls of hostilely have been torn down? Does that sound like we are pursuing peace? Does that look like we are bringing heaven to earth? If you weren’t a Christian and this is what you saw, would you want to follow God?
We’ve got to stop pointing fingers and start pursuing love with each other. I know what some people will say… But we have to point out sin. Yeah, we do, but not like that.
How many of you have ever been ridiculed into stopping a sin you were struggling with? I didn’t think so… I’ve found when I have guilt heaped on top of me it only makes me sin more. That’s why Jesus offers grace, guilt free, that allows us to leave our sin. So why aren’t Christians doing the same?
I’ve heard SO many people say well that person has sin in their life so that cannot be a Christian… That’s not true. Anybody in here have sin in their life? Yeah… Me too… Anybody after years of following Jesus had a sin revealed to you that you had no idea was hidden in your life? Yeah me too…
We are so ingrained in our culture that things should happen instantly. So when someone becomes a Christian we say you have to stop these 100 things you are doing wrong. Then you are truly a Christian. But God recognizes that becoming more like him is a life long process.
What we are telling the world when we point fingers is that God is a judgmental God that doesn’t offer much grace.
We’ve got some work to do… But I believe we can do it. And when we do, our lives will be much more fulfilling and people that currently do not know Jesus will come to know him. That’s what we all want isn’t it?
Jesus made it all possible on the cross. He tore down the walls of hostility and know it’s our job to put aside our difference and pursue unity and community with those in this church. Whether they are like us or different. And to the best of our ability do the same to those outside the church.
We are going to look at three things we can do to live this out in our lives. While we all need to look at all these areas I’m guessing one of these three things will stick out to you and maybe this week that’s what you start working on.
Expand your circle (find people different then you)
I’m guilty of this… Many of the people I hang out with regularly look like me, act like me, think like me, and it’s comfortable. Maybe you relate… But if Jesus brought peace and allows me to enter into community with others shouldn’t that be different? We should be able to expand our circles.
So maybe if that’s you go find someone you normally wouldn’t hangout with. Someone that in the past you would maybe even avoid. And go talk with them. Learn about what makes them the way they are.
You might be thinking… Yeah right I cannot do that… But you can. When you recognize that that person is someone God loves that allows you to put aside your difference and enter into community.
When there’s conflict seek resolution
We are terrible at this aren’t we? We aren’t good at conflict resolution. But for community to work we’ve got to get better. I did a terrible job at this in my first job outside college, and I learned some hard lessons. And maybe for you this is something you can work on this week. Maybe there’s a person you’ve hurt and you need to ask for forgiveness. Maybe you’ve been hurt and you need to let them know.
Go talk to them… Matthew 18 gives us a model of how this works. When there’s conflict you go talk to the person one on one. If they refuse or don’t listen. Bring one other person to mediate. And if that doesn’t work bring in the church leader or your boss if it’s in your workplace.
I get it, I know how tough and difficult, and awkward that is. But that’s part of being in community. Maybe you need to make a phone call this week or stop avoiding that conversation. That’s what Jesus sacrifice allows us to do.
Stop bashing people! (On Facebook, in conversations, whatever…)
?We see this all the time… And I”m guessing we are all guilty of it at somepoint. Whether behind someones back or in our Facebook posts, we too often throw people under the bus. Think about this… What are your Facebook posts and comments about others saying? Are they putting down a person or a people group? What you say can keep you from entering into community with others. Jesus tore down the walls but your words can put the walls back up.
Be careful that what you say won’t keep people from wanting to be around you. Be careful to not put up walls to keep certain people out of your life.
Andy Stanley, famous person in audience, said don’t be like her…
Conclusion
Maybe one of those three things stood out to you.. Maybe you have something you can work on this week. One way you can live in unity with those around you. We can get better and we can look a little more like Jesus.
That’s what Paul was saying to the church in Ephesus and that’s why he ends the chapter with this…
19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit. Ephesians 2:19-22
Everyone that claims to follow Jesus is part of God’s family. We can live in unity because Jesus is our cornerstone. Because he tore down the walls of hostility. And if you are new here and wondering if Jesus is worth following you need to know that Jesus paid the price for your sins and allows you to enter into this community. That’s the good news.
I want to end today with a comment that I read. I do some writing on the side and a while back I wrote an article on why millennials don’t feel comfortable in church and this is one of the comments I got. I think this sums up why this is so important that we live this way….
“As someone who is new to corporate worship, I honestly and naively had no idea that asking questions about interpretation or biblical theology would upset people. I had no idea there was so much infighting, hostility, and bickering in the Body of Christ over doctrinal statements, theological differences (that aren’t foundational issues centered on Christ), and bible study. I was intimidated away from approaching fellow Christians face-to-face on these questions and felt very alone. Christians should be able to talk about the Bible and debate different biblical questions without getting upset or questioning the condition of one another’s souls. Rigid doctrine leaves people alone in a desert, and it’s the norm. That’s not okay.”
Listen people EVERYDAY are looking at you, they are looking at this church, and they are trying to figure out if this Jesus guy is worth following. And the way that you and I act, the things we say, the way we handle conflict is telling people something about God. Let’s make sure what we are telling them and showing them is what God wants them to hear.
Church let me ask you… Can we love the people that are different than us? Can we pursue unity with each other? Can we show this community that Jesus is for all people?
I believe we can… I believe it because that’s the power of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. And right now we are going to remember that sacrifice. The band is going to play a song and we are going to take communion. This is a time open for anyone who believes in Jesus. It’s a time where we remember what Jesus did on the cross. So as you take this today. Remember that this sacrifice brought peace between you and God and brought you into community with each other.
Pray.
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