IT’S COMPLICATED Text: James 2:23
James 2:23 - And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
OPENING: We live in a day where social media reigns. And with family and friends spread all across this land, Social media allows us to share our thoughts……our photo’s……and just about anything else in our lives that we consider newsworthy. It allows us to keep everyone up to date about the latest happening such as birthdays…..anniversaries……those infamous baby bumps during pregnancy…….the baby’s first steps, first words and even the potty training moments.
NOTE: For the record…..those kids are going to love their parents in a few years since “everything” is stored somewhere in the cloud to be resurrected against us one day.
Social media can be an awesome tool……however, just like anything else….it can also be used in many of the wrong ways. Gossip and slander are as prevalent as fake news is on the major news outlets! And the negative in social media is that a lot of peoples have been hurt and reputations ruined.
Pastors are being taught today….that regardless of age….we must utilize social media as a way of connecting. No longer can we just go to an event….because our world is consumed with an eventful life. There are more events than a pastor could ever have time to meet. So, we tweet, snapchat, Instagram, post to Facebook, periscope, tumbler and others. We no longer are able to just to preach…..we also have to be constantly marketing the church.
Yet, there is a positive side to social media for pastors as well. It has become a great resource tool to know where and how we need to preach to the churcy. In a society that has gone raving mad on tell the world everything….at every moment….of what they are doing….about their habits….even where they were during the church services……anything that a pastor needs to know is typically on social media.
Yet…what is most interesting at times ….it the status page. That is where they post if they are single, in a relationship, married and the such. And with the millennials……some of them change their status faster than the temperature a thermometer. They are “in a relationship one day……and “out of a relationship the next”.
Yet……the most interesting status post for me is when they update their page with ……. “It‘s complicated!” I am not sure that I understand that post in it’s entirety. I am not sure exactly what that means. To me, you are either in a relationship or you are not. So, what is complicated about that?
So, in thinking about that……I begin to wonder……. If God were to engage in social media like many of us do today……and it came to His relationship status with each of His children…..how would He respond. Would he post in a relationship……or would it be…… “It’s complicated” ?
TRANSISTION: I think it is safe to assume that for most of us here today….. in our minds, we have our ideas of what a “good relationship” really consist of. And I believe at times…..we want the most perfect of relationship. Yet, because of sin…..we begin to assume that we are defective. And when the devil begins to reveal to us all of the ways that we are messed up……..to many Christians today…..our status as Christians seem….well, complicated!
Yet the Bible has a lot to say about relationships. The bible teaches us what a healthy relationship looks like and what it should be like……especially when it pertains to the Lord Jesus.
When we look at relationships……we often find that there are many different types of relationships. When I was younger…my status might have been “single, but looking”. When Sonya and I first started dating…I guess we could say that it was a “causal relationship”…….I mean, after-all……..a single date years ago did not mean that all of a sudden our relationship status had changed and the whole world needed to be informed that we were in a relationship…….unlike the youth of today often approach life.
Note: I know this was the case for my wife…….because she insisted that I chase her for a while. But as we continued to date….yes, I could have updated my status to ……. “in a relationship”. We dated for nearly 2 ½ years before she would agree to marry me. I believe my status would have changed before hers honestly. Yet, we will both admit that were some other influences where our relationship at times really was often “complicated”. We broke up a couple times during that span before we both committed to say “I do”. But down deep….even during the difficult times……we both knew that we were still “in a relationship” with one another. Yet, that is how love often works though….doesn’t it?
NOTE: And even after marriage…things became complicated at times. But regardless of what happened…what we said…or even with what we did…..we still loved each other.
You know…..I think that this is the same way that the Lord loves you and I. I am willing to confess that there are most likely a multitude of days when you and I do something stupid……like we do in other relationships. There are probably times that we say something ignorant……..like we do in other relationships. There are times that we mess up royally……and in the case of Christ that would be called “sin”………. But as “complicated” as we may make our relationship with Jesus…….I know that He is still firmly committed to his children. When it comes to our relationship with Him….He wants us to know……that we will never have to worry about the “single” status ever being posted. He loves us far too much for that.
1 John 5:13- These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.
Illustration: How many of us know of a couple…that when you look at them…they seemed to be so mismatched…. that you think to yourselves……there is no way this relationship will ever last? Yet, as time goes on…..they seem to grow together…they begin to resemble each other more and more……and they are live happily-ever-after.
Do you know that when the angel in heaven look at you and me………that is what they see as well? We are sin-filled creatures in a relationship with a Holy God….yet, the more time that we spend developing our relationship with the Lord, the more we begin to resemble him. We seem to grow with Him and closer to Him…..and for those that do….they seems to have one of those happily-ever-after relationships.
Yet, the truth remains, that for a lot of Christians…this is not always the case. They are NOT happy. They are still a part of the relationship……..but life for them would be one where it was described as being “complicated”. However, the sad truth is that these same people are the ones…..that are often complicating the relationship. It is not the Lord Jesus…because he is more committed to you and I…..than often we are to Him!
So…is there a way for us to know and understand what our relationship really looks like? Is there a way to where we would know how Jesus would define our relationship with Him? Would he say about you and me that we are “in a relationship” with Him……..or would it be…….. “It’s complicated”. You see, we can never be “out of the relationship” …….. but there are a multitude that are “removed from the relationship”. In other words…we become the ones that have left the Lord. We have moved out. But, we know that God has never left us.
So, how can we determine what our relationship looks like. I think in order to know that…..we need to answer three questions.
I. Is our relationship that of a Friend? –
James 2:23 - 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
Did you know that Webster’s Definition of Friend is – “one attached to another by affection”. I am glad to report to you this morning that “Jesus loves me….and this I know…for the bible tells me so!” God has left me a love letter that tells me just how much He loves me. And I want to read to you a portion of his letter to me.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
Do you know how much Jesus loves me? How much he loves you? ……..He loved us all the way to the cross! He loved us so much that he gave his life for us. I think it is safe to assume that we have a “friend in God”
All through God’s word…we find story after story about people who were in a committed relationship with one another. The story of Jonathan and David is such a story. It was the story of “true friendship”. They were in a “committed relationship with each other….not in some perverted way….but as friends. I believe that both Jonathan and David understood the meaning of Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity”
How many of us have ever had a friendship like this? We have a friend that we could always count on being there for us. Many of you have someone like that in your life today. You are not related by blood…..but you are related by “brotherly love”. You would consider this person to be your closest of friends.
And I can say this to us all as well……there is nothing wrong with having a friend like this. I have a friend like this in my wife. She is my soul-mate. I tell her most of the things that are going on in my life….but not everything. And some would ask…what are you keeping from her if you love her? And the answer to that is “Everything that might hurt her. I do that because I love her”.
Yet, there is one that I do not….and cannot….. keep anything from. There is one that I do not have to keep anything from. And the same goes for you if you are a child of God. When we feel we must hid things from Jesus……that we will hurt Him if He finds out….can I say to us….He already knows……He already is hurting….because you are defining your relationship with him as “complicated”. You are telling him that you do not trust Him enough to discuss what is hurting you. In other words….you are telling him that He is NOT your closest friend.
Often in my life…..I have heard people asking someone else…… “well, what should I do? What would you do?”……and I often wonder if they have ever asked Jesus those same questions? IF we want to know why our relationship is “complicated”……could it be that we are the complication?
Let me share with you what Jesus wants each of us to know this morning about those “complicated relationships” with him.
Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Did you know that we have a friend in God…..yet, the question remains……. “just how friendly are we to Him?”. How often are we talking to Him? How often are we consulting with Him? How often are we listening to Him? Because if we are not doing these things…allow me to give you a status update: “your relationship is complicated”.
That is why I need a friend…someone I can lean on…someone that I can turn to in the storms of life and know that he will be there…walking on the water for me when necessary. I need someone that loves me so much that when the storms of life are battering my boat…that he can say to the storm….. “Peace, be still!”. And to me…someone who loves me this much…..should be my best friend!
A true friendship that stands the test of trials and time is rare these days. You know as well as I do that people are fickle. Many love you one moment and seemingly hate you the next. Friends may come and go, but to have a lifelong, close personal friendship is truly a great blessing. And I glad to know that even if I should choose to walk away from God…he will never walk away from me! HE loves me far too much…and He proved that love on the cross….and He continues to prove that love daily.
The story of Jonathan and David…….is proof that friendship do not have to be complicated. Often, we share more in common with a friend that we often realize…even when it seems that we have nothing in common. I mean look at these two.
• Jonathan was the son of a King (Saul) and was raised in a palace
• David was the son of a sheep-herder and was raised on a farm
• Jonathan was a Prince, David was a Shepherd.
• Jonathan was being groomed to be a king by his father, King Saul
• David was being groomed to be a king by King Jesus.
• Jonathan understood that true friendships stood the test of time, and so did David.
• Even when Jonathan’s father turned on David to destroy him, Jonathan defended his friend and stuck by his side. He truly was a friend that sticks closer than a brother
Even when David was crowned King, Jonathan, who was being groomed to be the king, bowed in submission to his friend. There was no anger, no resentment…..because he was not allowing his friendship to become “complicated”. And what happens next is even further proof of an uncomplicated friendship. David had such great respect for Jonathan, and the Bible teaches us that he bowed before Jonathan. The King bowed himself in love…before his servant. I think you would agree….these two….were in a committed friendship and a lasting relationship.
They could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition and lust for power, choosing instead to become the closest of friends. They knew how and when to laugh together, cry and show their emotions together, sharing hopes and dreams, thereby cementing their friendship forever.
How rare this kind of friendship is in the world today! Yet, the Lords wants our relationship with Him to be that of a friend. He wants our relationship to be one that is NOT complicated. That is why we must see that:
• True friendship requires sacrifices
• True friendship will bring about care and compassion for someone other than ourselves
• True Friendship will always show empathy and concern for our friend
• A true friend is more concerned about what their friends desire more than what they desire!
• And Jesus on the cross proved that his concern was you and I…….and not Himself. He endured the pain and the suffering…..why? Because he is a friend…..and He is wanting to stick closer than our own brother.
But there is another question that will determine our relationship status with the Lord. That can be found in our next question:
II. Is our relationship that of a Child?
John 1:12 - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:
One of the greatest gifts that God has ever given to me…..is my son! I know that there are some that would argue that my wife gave me my son……….but I will tell you that I believe that “life begins with God” and that he is still the creator of all life. My wife was the instrument that he used to bring my son into this world. She was the vessel that was chosen to birth my son into this world. But conception began with Him.
Jeremiah 1:5 - 5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations
So, do you know why God loves us so much?……Because He is our creator. If it were not for Him….you and I would not be here. He allowed us to come into this world.
It is after we are born……that we are introduced to our parents. Both were used of God to allow our existence. And ladies, I know that many of you that have carried that child for 9 months… agonized in pain for hours on end as your child was born…..has often wondered……. “How can that child love their father the way they do….after all I did for them to bring them into this world”. And my answer to that is this……. “It’s complicated”! Only God can answer that!
I think every child is born with a will and desire to love their father…..yet, we also know of so many fathers that have little to do with their children. And for the record…..being used by God to help father a child is no way makes a man a daddy!
• You see…….A daddy is one that is in a relationship.
• A father is one that is not committed to his child and his excuse is “it’s complicated”.
• A daddy is one that gives up what he wants to insure his child has he they need.
• A father’s excuse is “It‘s complicated”.
That is why I want to tell you that my heavenly father…..is also my Heavenly Daddy! He loves me! He is committed to me! He gave up his best to insure that I had the one thing that I need most…….. “A Savior”. And if you are born again into God’s family…..he did and does the same for you. So why do we often act like our relationship with our the Lord has to be “complicated”? If it is complicated, it is because we are the complication. We are playing the role of a rebellious child. We are running away from in……rather than to Him……and when we face the storms of life…..evidently we are the ones that are deciding to face them alone.
NOTE: I love my son! He means the world to me! And regardless of the miles that we have between us currently….I want him to know that his daddy…..loves him…….and that my love for him is not complicated at all. I am in a relationship with my son and I want the whole world to know that.
In much the same way……God loves us. He wants to be in a real relationship with us. He is committed to us and he wants the whole world to know that…..and to see that. But just as I cannot make my son commit to his father…that is a choice that he must make……God will not make you commit to him. That is a choice you must make. My son is still my son, regardless! And you are still God’s child, regardless……even when you decide to play the role of the prodigal!
But just remember this……if you want to know what the Fathers relationship to you looks like…..it was the same as the prodigal when he finally decide it was time to go home to daddy!
Luke 15:20 “And (the prodigal) arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
For some…we need to define our relationship status with the Father. And He is waiting to un-complicate our status. He is wanting to show His love to us…..and He is coming to many now….but are we willing to quit running away?
Lastly, if we want to know what our status looks like, we need to answer this question:
III. Is our relationship that of a servant?
Luke 16:13 - “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.
I think it would be safe to assume that none of us like the idea of being a called a servant. A servant is one that does the wishes of their master. It assumes that we a slave and that we are bound to serve without any compensation. Yet, when love is involved….we serve willingly.
I love my wife…..that is why I do the things that I do for her. My wife loves me……and she willingly will serve me at times. But that does not mean there is no compensation. You see, we are in a relationship….albeit it may look complicated on the outside…..it is still committed on the inside. Why others may not understand, we understand it well. And that is why my status could read: “Married and happy about that!”
You see, when we take on the role of a servant….and where love is involved….there are some tenets of this type of servant that become quickly recognizable. Faith of all, you will see:
• Faithfulness – a committed servant can always be counted on. They will never try to run away.
o When my wife comes home every evening, she is expecting me to be there. When I come home from a business trip…..I have the expectation that she will be there. I am not looking for her clothes to be packed and a note that says……. “Sorry babe, I am gone. Cannot explain. It is complicated”
o Because we love each other….we are faithfully committed to each other
• Wisdom – Wisdom is what makes one consider how their actions will reflect on the master
o Wisdom is what makes me consider how my actions will affect Sonya. It is what make Sonya consider how her actions will affect me. And yes, we have both done some pretty dumb things over the course of life. Yet, regardless of how complicated things get…….we both know that our status is “in a relationship/
o Did you know that God serves us as much as we serve Him. Even when we do dumb things….things that would make many want to leave….He remains committed to serving us……honestly more than we are willing to serve him. That is what I call…… “LOVE!”
• Servant’s Heart – this is an attitude that exudes love for the master……and all that is looks for in return is the approval of the master.
Do you know why I serve the Lord as a pastor? Well, first of all…..on most days…I love you all. There are those occasional days that I want to strangle many of you however. But even on those days…..I love my Master……and I want Him to be happy with me. Therefore, some of you have a reason to “thank the Lord that your pastor has not strangled you”. In all seriousness…….one of these days when I stand before my master……I want my relationship status to reveal that I am in a committed relationship. If there is a social media page in Heaven, this is what I want my master to post about me: “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”
Conclusion: So what does your relationship with God look like? Could he say that you are a friend? Could he say about you that you are in a relationship with Him? Or would His status about you look like this: “It is complicated!”
Can I say to each of us that if our relationship with the Lord is complicated……then once again we are the complication! Because God is the one that wants to uncomplicate our lives! He is the one that want to spend time with us daily. He is the one that is wanting to converse with us continually. He is the one that is sticking closer to us…than we are to Him! He is the one that loved you and I so much…….that the cross stands as a symbol of that love. Jesus said “I do”…….even before we were willing to walk the isle. He was waiting for us at the altar…ready to adopt us into the family. The bridegroom was ready for us to become his bride.
This morning…..many of you may be missing that relationship. Your status really is……. “it’s complicated”…….yet God is wanting to uncomplicate your status. The question is….will you run TO him….or continue to run FROM Him?
I want you to think about your wedding day. It may have been in a church….or somewhere else….but on the day your status changed from single to married……did you really care who watched you walk the isle….or was your focus on the one you loved?
Jesus loves you….he is waiting for you…..and he wants you focus to be on Him only at this moment. If your status is “it’s complicated”……then the Lord is waiting for you to come…….and in doing so…..you are telling the world that you are “in a committed relationship”.
What does your status look like right now! And will it change for the whole world to see! It really doesn’t have to be “complicated”. James said that Abraham was friend with God. Can the same be said about you and I?
