Honor Your Parents
CCCAG June 25th, 2017
Scripture- Exodus 20:7
When I was in basic training, we mostly were trained by the drill sergeants and other noncommissioned officers. However, we were officially commanded by a 2nd lieutenant that we only saw when there was an inspection or if you got written up into a disciplinary function called an Article 15. We knew who our lieutenant was, but never saw him. About 4 weeks before graduation our lieutenant was replaced with another guy fresh out of ROTC.
The new guy was very hands on. He came marching with us, attended PT with us, came to the range with us, and was very much involved with us as we finished our training.
This was much to the dismay of our drill sergeants, as this guy couldn’t get anything right and kept telling us the wrong thing to do, and not only that, but he was a jerk about it. Always yelling, never making a lot of sense, and generally being a pain in the backside to everyone.
That’s actually the definition of a newly minted 2nd LT.
I remember walking from one part of the range to another and I saw him approaching. Now when you are on the range you are to treat it like a combat situation. In combat situations, or when you are “in theater” you do not to salute or otherwise recognize a superior officer as it makes them a target for snipers.
So as he walked past, I greeted him appropriately saying, “Good afternoon Lieutenant.”
HE stopped me and asked, “where is my salute private?”
I explained to him that we were on the range and we are to treat officers or NCO’s as if we were in combat and offer no obvious recognition to them as that makes them a target for snipers. He said, “We are at peacetime private and I expect all military honors to be paid to the officers appointed over you.”
So I snapped my rifle to present arms which is how you salute while carrying a rifle. He then said I should have my rifle slung over my shoulder (which was another no-no on the range as you don’t have control over the safety or trigger) so I could salute properly. By then one of the drill sergeants saw what was happening and rescued me from the lieutenant and sent me on my way.
Later in the barracks, I was meeting with my squad and we were talking about what happened on the range, as I wasn’t the only one. Our Senior Drill sergeant was walking by and asked several of us to come into the office with him, where he asked us questions about what happened. We told him everything we experienced that day and he wrote it down as he was going to report him to the company commander. When it was all done, he dismissed us with a reminder that even though we can’t stand him, he is still an officer.
I asked Drill Sergeant Monk (permission to speak freely), “You are a Ranger, a combat vet, with over 25 years of experience in the army. Do you ever have a problem showing respect or saluting these 2nd Lieutenants fresh out of college with no experience?”
He said, “Private Oscar, I’m going to tell you a secret that will greatly enhance not only your military career, but your life as well. If you understand this, you will be so much further ahead in life than most people your age-
“Remember, you are Saluting the uniform, not the person”
He said there will always be people in your life that you will not agree with but will be in positions of power over you. You don’t have to respect them, but you have to honor the rank or position they hold. If you can learn to do that, you will get very far in life.”
I started today’s lesson with this story to illustrate that I know the 5th commandment and the subject of honoring our parents is a tricky one.
Let’s do an experiment-
Close your eyes and picture your father- God says to honor him
Keep your eyes closed and think of your mother- God says to honor her.
Open your eyes
For some, that was a time of fond memories and for those of us whose parents have passed on, a little bittersweet.
For some of us, those mental pictures made a knot in our stomachs, and there is now a little pain left over.
If you are in the second group-
I understand, as I grew up in a broken home around drugs, alcohol, partying, motorcycle gangs, and was physically abused by my mother’s boyfriend.
So for me, this was a very hard sermon to prepare, and it’s probably on it’s 10th version this morning.
To many of us, the idea of honoring our parents is painful and almost impossible for us to grasp. I want to say at onset of today’s message that I understand completely, and I struggle with the same feelings about my childhood. As your pastor, I just want to assure you that I get it.
But our life experience does not give us a pass on following God’s word.
We are going to read the commandment as written, and then expound on it and the reasons that God placed this command in the big 10 of His law
Exodus 20:12
12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Prayer- Thank God for our parents, and ask God open hearts and help forgive past hurts
Big idea- Today we transition in our series on the 10 Commandments in taking the focus on how we worship and honor God that we have seen in the first 4 commandments and switch our focus to how we obey HIM in the treatment of each other.
Point to the cross
The first 4 commandments are vertical in orientation, between us and God. The last 6 are horizontal in how we love and honor each other.
Today we are going to look at God’s reasons for the family structure as stated in the commandment, move into the practical aspects, and then end with ways that we show honor to our parents.
God begins this horizontal plane of His law by
I. Establishing the family as God’s primary human institution
Some of you will be surprised to hear me say that the family is God’s first and primary institution and not the church. Look back at creation- God created family long before He created any official organizational structure to worship HIM. Therefore, the family is first in God’s created order when it comes to the governance of human beings.
A. God begins by establishing the headship of this most important and basic building block of any nation or culture- how the family dynamic is supposed to work.
Suppose an inventor has an idea for a product that will revolutionize our lives, but he or she has to get a business up and running to make this plan work.
What does he do first?
Does he hire his assembly line workers first?
Does he hire the receptionist?
How about the janitorial staff, process engineers, bookkeepers?
No, they hire their senior management team first.
What did God do first in establishing the church?
Did he appoint pastors first? People with gifts of administration? Teachers?
No, 1 Cor 12 says God established the senior leadership team- Apostles and Prophets.
Apostles to provide leadership and aggressively spread the Gospel of the Kingdom, and Prophets to give it direction.
God did the same thing in the family- He created the senior leadership team and then assigned children for them to manage.
God’s created order is just that- orderly.
In other words its like an organizational chart that many of you might have seen at work. It contains structure, rank, and authority, and that same authority is given in the family unit.
In God’s organizational chart it looks like this-
God, Father or Husband, Mother or Wife- at his side, not under his feet, Eldest child down through the baby of the family.
IF the institution of the family keeps their places within that order, there is great blessing, peace, and there is a proper representation of the Kingdom to show the world the glory of God.
Another reason God establishes this family order is that it
B. Reinforces respect for God given authority
There are a few sayings from the ancient world, not necessarily biblical but they have some truth non-the less-
“Mother or mama is the name of god to a small child at the breast”
Truism concerning fathers-
A person will always view God based on the how the view their father.
In other words, if the father is absent, God doesn’t really exist
IF the father is abusive- then God will be viewed as capricious and angry
If the Father isn’t a spiritually solid man who disciplines his children appropriately, God is viewed as a pushover that will accept you for who you are, no matter how bad that is.
God establishes parents at the first authority any of us know in our lives.
As parents are God’s given authority to us, how we respect and treat our parent is how ultimately, we respect and treat our God.
That’s why being a parent is the most important role you will ever have in your life. Your actions will directly affect your child’s view of God, and perhaps their eternal destiny.
But what does this mean for people who had less than an optimal example of parenthood in life?
Two things to think about if your parents were not the best examples-
One- they were born sinners. Some of you might yell Amen to that.
But guess what- so are you. If you have surrendered to Jesus Christ and made Him Lord and Savior of your life, You then become a sinner saved only by God’s grace, and you are currently being transformed from sinner into saint through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Two- One of the things I’ve learned in life is every human authority will fail you
That means politicians
That means local authority like law enforcement, alderman, city workers, ect.
That means the boss or bosses at work
That means your parents.
That means the people sitting next to you in church today
That even means your pastor will fail to live up to your expectations.
Because human authority is just that- human
They will fail you sooner or later.
but God will never fail you.
For those who had this difficulties in childhood-Let me remind you of a spiritual truth
Romans 8:28- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whoi have been called according to his purpose.
I mentioned at the beginning that this was a very hard sermon for me to do. But as I thought about this scripture, it says “All Things”.
That means that God used everything in my life to mold me and shape me into the man I am today, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
And I trust HIM
I ask you that if this is you, that you take this pain to the LORD, and let HIM give you His perspective on it, and let HIM heal you of this pain.
And learn to Trust God with your past, and then Trust Him to guide your future.
Let us get into some of the practical why’s for this commandment.
We are going to quickly look through some of the reasons-
Honoring our Father and Mother is important because-
II. 1st- A strong church is made up by strong family’s
Or another way to put it- the church’s health is determined by the health of its individual family’s.
If the families are in chaos, how can the church be healthy?
When you look at the spiritual qualifications of leadership in the church in 1 Tim 3 and Titus 1, they focus on how well they run their home, and that their children obey them with proper respect.
Now if your children were raised in the church, and trained in God’s ways but as adults are not following God as they should- don’t be too hard on yourselves.
Great men of God have had the same problem-
Samuel
David
Solomon
Josiah
Billy Graham have all had sons and daughters that rebelled and led sinful lives after they left their parents’ house. Your job is to pray and love them back into the kingdom, even if their conduct drives you crazy with worry.
III. 2nd- Essential for the nation that families are in order.
As most of you know, I worked on the north side of Milwaukee in the inner city, and the number one problem there is absent fathers.
But it’s not just a problem in the inner city or amongst people of a certain culture or color, it’s widespread now, and in my opinion, is the number 1 reason that we face a culture that is antithetical to Christ or His church. Children are being raised to not respect one parent or another, or that didn’t have one parent in the home have fallen away from the idea of any authority in their lives and the consequences are rampant around us.
The bible asks a questions- “If they foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?”
The family unit is God’s foundation for the spiritual health of humanity. Is it any wonder why the devil’s attack is focused there?
So we have spent a lot of time focused on the negative parts of what happens when we don’t honor our parents, let’s look at some of the ways we can honor them.
IV. How to honor your father and mother
A. Follow Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
If you had a hard childhood because of bad parenting, you need to forgive your parents, even if they have passed on. You need to confess your feelings to God and let HIM bring healing to your spirit.
B. Speak well of them in public- if anything this did one thing right- they had you
Think about this for a minute- when God made His plan for your life, HE chose them, their DNA to make you. For better or for worse, whether they were horrible, average, or awesome parents they deserve your respect because they were God’s provision and plan for you.
C. Listen to them, even when you don’t agree
When you leave home and become an adult, you still need to honor your parents. That means call them once in a while, talk to them, even listen to their advice, even when you don’t agree with it.
There is wisdom in years. That’s something the young don’t always understand until they get some life experience under their belts. Listen to your parents life experience because you might be able to glean some wisdom from it, and avoid making the same mistakes they did.
D. Care for them when they get older.
1 Tim 2-But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. (skipping a few verses)
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I know that there are situations like advanced Alzheimer’s and such that require specialized care that can’t always be given at home. Saying that, the bibles prescription for us is that we repay our parents by taking care of them as they age.
And yes guys, that includes our mother in laws.
We are the church of Jesus Christ. Let’s not be like the world who warehouses their parents in nursing homes so that they can be free to live their lives.
I’ve been involved in EMS for a long time, and one of the most tragic things I see is a person in the nursing home whose last visit from family was 6 months ago.
This should never be among those who claim to be a Christian.
Finally we will end our time today with this thought- it’s the only 10 commandments with a promise-
“That all might go well with you”
If we honor our parents, our families will be unbreakable
If we honor our parents, our church’s will be strong
If we honor our parents, our nation will be undefeatable
If we honor our parents, God’s Kingdom forcefully advances without the baggage of broken families that is currently weighing it down.
Finally, I end with this reminder from the beginning of the message-
Respect the uniform. Even if your parents weren’t the best- respect their position of authority over you, because it was given by God.
And God doesn’t make mistakes.
Pray for people who have difficulties honoring parents
Moment of silence that God search and know our hearts regarding our feelings for our parents.
