Father’s Day -2017
Genesis 18:19 (NIV)
“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
I have been thinking a lot about father’s the past week or two. The Scripture we just read is our Heavenly Father talking about one of our forefathers. Then we have our earthly fathers. Those fathers can be known in many different ways. We have biological fathers, step-fathers (or step in fathers) we have absentee fathers and even deadbeat dads. There may be more descriptions of fathers if we really think about it. What it all says is that being a father is a complicated thing. We are all human (with the exception of the Heavenly Father) and that means we are all imperfect. The best of fathers fail their children in some ways. We can’t help it. That’s why we need a Heavenly Father. Nevertheless, the Bible gives us, if not a job description, at least some qualities of a good father. You see, any fool can make a baby – and a lot of them do – but it takes a man willing to learn and to grow to become a godly father.
This morning I want to share seven things a godly father does; seven things we fathers need to strive for. The first thing a godly father does is found on the gift we gave you this morning. A godly father 1) lights the way. Those flashlight/pens with that inscription on it is to remind you of that. A father lights the way. Another way to put that is that a godly father teaches. The Greatest Command in the Bible tells us that. Do you remember that Jesus said that the Greatest Command was to -
“love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5
But the Scripture doesn’t stop there. The command does not stop there. There is no period or comma. It continues –
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9
God is telling the fathers that they have a responsibility to teach the child to love Him with all their hearts. And He tells them how to do it. He tells them how to impress this command on the children. He says, talk about it when you sit down or walk along the road; when you lie down to sleep and when you get up first thing in the morning. The teaching continues all day. They are to tie those Scriptures to their hands and foreheads and write them on the doorframes of the house and gates. Teaching doesn’t happen by accident. You have to teach on purpose. You have to plan it or it probably won’t get done. Fathers teach your children to love God.
The proverbs says, “Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
The New Testament says, “…fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
One of the most important things a father does is to teach his children – and we are teaching them whether we want to or not. Absentee fathers and deadbeat dads are teaching them they aren’t very important. Fathers, teach your children to love Jesus as your first priority. The “National Center for Fathering” said,
“Kids observe everything! [And that’s] the greatest revelation of being a parent—how much they observe. This is something that we as parents sometimes overlook or underestimate. When we parents do good things for others, the kids understand. When we parents are not kind or understanding of each other or we interact poorly with other people, our children observe and know [that], as well.” From “A Father’s Example: “Kids Observe Everything”
A father, secondly, is a leader The Scripture we started with is our Heavenly Father explaining that one of our forefathers (Abraham) is to LEAD or direct his children. It even tells what he is to lead them to do – to keep the way of the Lord. What way is that? By doing what is just and right.
“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just…”
Genesis 18:19 (NIV)
A father leads by example most of all. I love the example Joshua set. Listen to the Scripture.
“And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
If you come to my house and look above the front door you will see this plague “As for me and my house – we will serve the Lord.” It is choice. It is leading. I remember when I was a young man and I was trying to be the leader in my family – but I had a problem. My wife didn’t necessarily always want to follow my lead. That is very exasperating to a young husband. Some husbands would resort to force and demand leadership. Most would just give up and let the strongest one lead – even if that meant the wife leads. I prayed. God communicated to me that I was to lead – but whether Julie followed or not was up to her. So I would say “I think we need to do thus and so”. Julie had to have a personal experience with God where He communicated to her to trust me and follow me. She did and life got so much easier for both of us. I didn’t have to lead solely; didn’t have to bossy – I asked her advice and we made decisions together mostly. Husbands and fathers, don’t shirk your duty of being a leader.
Thirdly, godly fathers disciplines. Listen to the Scripture.
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:11-12
“For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:6-11
It is hard to believe when you are a kid but discipline is an act of love. You need to know the difference between discipline and punishment. My father was pretty heavy on the punishment. Punishment causes rebellion. Discipline draws you closer together. Punishment is spoken in anger and harshly. Discipline is usually spoken kindly and lovingly. Punishment produces a bitter, poisonous fruit. Discipline produces the fruit of acting in the right way – or righteousness. Fathers you need to learn the difference and discipline and not punish.
Fourthy, a godly father has compassion on his children. The Psalmist said,
“As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:13-14
Sometimes a child doesn’t need teaching or discipline or even leadership. He needs a compassionate father. He needs a dad who will put his arm around his son or daughters shoulders and weep with them. I think that says more and does more than anything you could say or do. They need to know you care. They need to know you feel their pain; their passion. That is what compassion is. Sharing someone’s pain. It is hard for a man to do. We don’t want to look like a sissy or soft. But Jesus was a compassionate man. He even wept on a couple of occasions. I think we need to be more like Jesus in that way, too.
Fifthly, a godly father is there for you. He is not an absentee father. Listen to our Heavenly Father’s witness.
“Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified, or afraid of them. The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.’” Deuteronomy 1:29-31
As Jesus was about to leave the disciples and ascend to heaven, Jesus said,
“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
A godly father is there for His children. He makes a way to be there. But that is not always the case here on earth. That is why we need a Heavenly Father. I wish I could always be there for my children and grandchildren – but I can’t. I am human with human limitations. But we have a Heavenly Father who can be there – always and forever. What we can’t do God can do. Our job is to lift those kids up to Him in prayer.
Sixth, a godly father provides for his children. He may not provide their wants or all they desire – but He provides their needs. The Bible says,
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8
WOW! There it is in black and white. If we fathers do not provide for our families we have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers. We have an obligation to provide for the needs of our families – and not just material or financial needs. There are emotional needs and other kinds of needs, too. Listen to Jesus describing our heavenly Father as He compares His to an earthly father.
“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”
Matthew 7:9-11
Jesus portrays a good earthly father as someone who provides good gifts to his children and good food to them. Fathers have a God given responsibility to provide for their families.
One last thing. “And the greatest of these is love”. A father needs to love his children. How do you do that? The Bible tells us.
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
A Father needs to love. We need to know what that means. Some fathers thinks if they bring a paycheck home that shows they love. Dad’s need to learn the Love Language. There are five ways we need to be told we are loved. Learn them. Your children need to feel loved in all five ways.
It is hard being a father today. It always has been. That is why after you have done your best – lift your family up to the Lord in prayer. Bring them to Church. Do Bible studies with them. Have devotions with them – but above all introduce them to their Heavenly Father. You will have done your job and they will be eternally grateful – literally.
SONG: “Good, Good, Father”
