Celebrating Marriage #101 -- Pt 5
My goal this morning is to do what an old preacher advised a young preacher to do:
Stand up to be seen,
Speak up to be heard,
Sit down to be appreciated!
"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." Martin Luther
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates
"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it." Lyndon B. Johnson
NO SECRETS HERE
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad. "All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." "No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.
The loving couple was finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.
Shortly before dawn, the husband woke with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed. This, of course, woke his bride, who, without thinking, immediately asked, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"
SOURCE: Pastor Tim, http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Introduction: Today we come to the conclusion of this Celebrate Marriage series and I trust that it has been both informative and transformative. Everything you have heard has been straight from God's word and I have tried to share what I have learned after 42 years of working with folks who have sought my help in counseling. Today I want to share some closing thoughts on what marriage is really all about, for ultimately it is so much more important than what it is made out to be in society at large and in the culture of the church.
"Our Coronation of Marriage"
Ephesians 5:32
I. The Symbolism of Marriage
It is the mystery of:
a. It is a special relationship
This relationship is not duplicated anywhere else in all of creation. Not parents and children, not between friends, not family relationships like siblings or any other aspect of creation. You ask, but pastor what about the animal kingdom, the Lord created male and female just like he did with man? But that would only be half the truth. In all of creation there is only one place where you will find the following statement; Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Search the scriptures and you will not find this statement made about anything else that God created.
b. It is a synergetic relationship
Synergetic means that the combining of the two produces something that is greater than the parts. Paul uses both a verb and a noun to describe this mysterious union of two hearts, minds and bodies. Husbands and wives are "joined" and they are becoming "one flesh," which speaks of this intimate union that is meant to last a life time. Have you ever heard someone say that the longer a couple lives together the more they resemble year other? I'm not talking about physical resemblance but a mental, emotional and spiritual likeness. Their lives are so woven together that they become one with each other. If you spend a little time around Sis. Judy and I you can see that likeness. Every time that she and I are apart for any length of time I am reminded of how empty life feels without her in it, without her to come home to, without her to share my thoughts and my prayers.
WARFIELD'S FAITHFULNESS
There's an old story about Dr. Benjamin Warfield. He was a theology professor at Princeton Seminary. While he was still at the height of his academic powers, his wife got sick. And she became an invalid. He took care of her for ten years. During that ten year period, he never spent more than 2 hours away from his wife. Even though she was handicapped, she still loved to read. And so Dr. Warfield would sit at her bedside day after day. And read to her. He was always gentle and caring with her.
One day, someone asked him, "Have you ever thought about taking your wife to an institution?" Then you could write bigger books and have a bigger ministry." But Dr. Warfield said, "No way. My wife is my ministry. I will never leave her side. I am going to love her and take care of her as long as God grants us life."
(From a sermon by Marc Axelrod, Justice and Compassion For All, 8/16/2010)
c. It is a sanctified relationship
Marriage alone sanctifies this union and that is why any sexual activity outside of this union does not have God's sanction! In the text Paul states that the union of Christ and the church has a sanctifying effect. Brothers and sisters, it does not matter if the culture says it's right, if God says it's wrong! He gets to decide, not your and I. The sexual revolution of the 60"s and 70"s has weakened and warped our culture's view of the place of sex and intimacy. Abortion, STD's, divorce, and co-habitation are the results of this social experiment. Only the marital relationship receives the divine sanction. Anything else is an affront to the God who created us all.
Erma Bombeck wrote, "For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
II. The Savior and Marriage
a. His passion for the church
He loved the church and gave himself for it and His giving of Himself is the pattern for the husband's servant leadership and sacrificial love and the wife's submission to her husband as she would to the Lord.
Sacrificial Love
Years ago, a young mother was making her way across the hills of South Wales, carrying her tiny baby in her arms, when she was overtaken by a blinding blizzard. She never reached her destination, and when the blizzard had subsided her body was found by searchers beneath a mound of snow. But they discovered that before her death, she had taken off all her outer clothing and wrapped it about her baby. When they unwrapped the child, to their great surprise and joy, they found he was alive and well. She had mounded her body over his and given her life for her child, proving the depths of her mother love. Years later that child, David Lloyd George, grown to manhood, became prime minister of Great Britain, and, without doubt, one of England's greatest statesmen.
(Source: James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, Tyndale, 1972, p. 375.)
b. His preparation of the church
John 17:17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. ESV
What does that word 'sanctified' mean? It literally means 'to separate something (from other things).'
When I was growing up, I remember when we were getting dressed to go to church, my mom or my grandmother, depending on where we were, would tell us to put on our 'Sunday clothes.' Or if you were going to a wedding or a funeral, you would 'put your Sunday clothes on.'
Now, did you wear your Sunday clothes to school? No. Did you wear your Sunday clothes to play in the yard? No. To play football or baseball? No. To work on the farm? No.
Those clothes were separated from the rest of your clothes. They were set apart for certain occasions.
In the Scripture, when we are separated from sin (from things that are immoral or ungodly) and we are set apart for fulfilling His will and purposes, we would be described with this word.
c. His purpose for the church
The word "present" in verse 27 refers to a bride being presented to her groom! A literal reading from the Greek text should sound like this, "He himself presents the church (the bride of Christ) to himself." His goal for the church is both negative and positive purity. His bride is to be without "...spot..." or "...winkle..." and "...holy and without blemish..."
III. The Saints and Marriage
a. Our walk will honor Him vs 1-2, 8, 15
"Mama and Daddy King represent the best in manhood and womanhood, the best in a marriage, the kind of people we are trying to become." Coretta Scott King
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
19th Century saint Horatius Bonar said this "He that would be like Christ, moreover, must study him. We cannot make ourselves holy by merely trying to be so, any more than we can make ourselves believe and love by simply energy of endeavor. No force can effect this. Men try to be holy, and they fail. They cannot by direct effort work themselves into holiness. They must gaze upon a holy object; and so be changed into its likeness from "glory to glory".... he that would be holy must steep himself in the word, must bask in the sunshine which radiates from each page of revelation. It is through THE TRUTH that we are sanctified (John 17:17). Exposing ourselves constantly to this light, we become more thoroughly "children of the light."
b. Our witness will honor Him
A good marriage is all about the grace of God for I can assure you that you need a lot of it to help you thru the difficult times that you will face together, and you will face some. The mystery is that a good godly marriage typifies the relationship between Christ and His bride (the church). In a good marriage the grace of God is on display and is a living demonstration of what His grace can do in the hearts and lives of a man and a woman who are totally committed to Christ and each other.
God's design is for a man and woman to enter into a permanent, intimate relationship with one another. A relationship like Eddie and Mary enjoy. Let me read you a letter that Eddie wrote to Ann Landers:
Dear Ann Landers:
On Aug. 14, 1945, the war ended in the South Pacific. That was the day I met the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world-my wife. There was a celebration downtown, and I was kissing whoever came along. Then, I kissed Mary. That kiss was special, and I immediately put her name and phone number on a handy piece of paper-a policeman's traffic ticket, which I put in my wallet.
One day, as I lounged in my barracks, I opened my wallet, and out fell that ticket with Mary's name on it. I wrote her a letter and the rest is history.
We have been married for 50 years and have three daughters and six grandchildren. Now, my Mary, my beautiful rose, is wilting. She has Alzheimer's disease, and I am helpless to do anything about it. There are no letters to write, no courtship to win her love, only wonderful memories. I hold her hand, serve her breakfast in bed, hug her and try to hold on. How long this rose will continue to bloom only God knows.
Seeing this disease rob me of this wonderful person is hard, but I am grateful that I have always told Mary how much I loved her. I will never abandon her. She will be with me always until "death do us part."
Conclusion: Let's summarize;
THE TRANSFORMING POWER OF SACRIFICIAL LOVE
In "The Christian Leader," Don Ratzlaff retells a story Vernon Grounds came across in Ernest Gordon's Miracle on the River Kwai. The Scottish soldiers, forced by their Japanese captors to labor on a jungle railroad, had degenerated to barbarous behavior, but one afternoon something happened. A shovel was missing. The officer in charge became enraged. He demanded that the missing shovel be produced, or else. When nobody in the squadron budged, the officer got his gun and threatened to kill them all on the spot . . . It was obvious the officer meant what he had said.
Then, finally, one man stepped forward. The officer put away his gun, picked up a shovel, and beat the man to death. When it was over, the survivors picked up the bloody corpse and carried it with them to the second tool check. This time, no shovel was missing. Indeed, there had been a miscount at the first check point.
The word spread like wildfire through the whole camp. An innocent man had been willing to die to save the others! . . . The incident had a profound effect. . . The men began to treat each other like brothers. When the victorious Allies swept in, the survivors, human skeletons, lined up in front of their captors (and instead of attacking their captors) insisted: "No more hatred. No more killing. Now what we need is forgiveness." Sacrificial love has transforming power.
