THE MAKINGS OF A GOOD MOM
INTRODUCTION: Happy Mother's Day! Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948) first suggested the national observance of an annual day honoring all mothers because she had loved her own mother so dearly. At a memorial service for her mother on May 10, 1908, Miss Jarvis gave a carnation (her mother’s favorite flower) to each person who attended. Within the next few years, the idea of a day to honor mothers gained popularity, and Mother’s Day was observed in a number of large cities in the U.S. On May 9, 1914, by an act of Congress, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. He established the day as a time for "public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country. By then it had become customary to wear white carnations to honor departed mothers and red to honor the living, a custom that continues to this day.
1) The makings of a good mom.
A good mom teaches her children.
Here are some things a person wrote in paying their respects to their mom as a teacher: "My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray that stain comes out of that carpet." My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me PROPER PLANNING: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." Which doesn't make sense because if you're in an accident your underwear won't be clean anymore.
My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing, and I'll give you something to cry about." Huh? My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You're gonna sit there 'til that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through this room." My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have a wonderful Mom like you do!"
A good mom will teach their kids about the importance of being respectful, kind and considerate. They will teach them to watch out for strangers and people who might be out to do them harm. They will teach them what to do in emergency situations. They will teach them how to do things; pass on their knowledge and skills. They will help them with their homework, teach them about how to conduct friendships and relationships.
Moms teach many important life lessons to their kids. But not only do good moms teach their children about life lessons, they teach them the word.
2nd Tim. 1:5, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also."
The faith that Timothy possessed was shown and taught to him by his mother who had it taught to her through her mother. Together, they imparted the truth to young Timothy.
2nd Tim. 3:14-15, "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."
Timothy's success can be traced back to his Mother Eunice and Grandmother Lois teaching him the scriptures.
"There is a story about four preachers discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version best because of its simple, beautiful English. Another liked the American Revised Version best because it was closer to the original Hebrew and Greek. Still another liked a contemporary version because of its up to date vocabulary.
The fourth minister was silent for moment, then said, “I like my mother’s translation best.” Surprised, the other three men said they didn’t know his mother had translated the Bible. “Yes,” he replied. “She translated it into life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw.” Good moms teach their children.
A good mom makes sacrifices for her children.
Prov. 31:15, "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls."
As the saying goes, 'A man's work ends with the sun but a woman's work is never done'. It's true. Back in the day the man came home from work and it was time to eat dinner and relax. Not so for the woman. Her day wasn't done until it was time for bed. Moms do make a lot of sacrifices for her family.
I remember a scene from A Christmas Story where they were eating dinner and you see the husband ask for something just as the mom was getting ready to sit down and then Ralphie does the same thing. The voiceover says, "My mother hadn't eaten a hot meal in years."
100% sacrificial. I think of Moses' mother. With Pharoah stating that every male child is to be killed Moses' mom had a choice to make. She made a huge sacrifice and sent her baby down the river in a basket so Pharoah's daughter would find it and he could live in Pharoah's household and grow up in safety. She was willing to let go of her son so he could survive. Her son's survival was worth more to her than her own happiness. That's the way moms are; they put their child before themselves all the time. Moms are always busy sacrificing.
A good mother is a mother to others.
A good mother not only looks after her own children, she often looks after other people's children. It's that good, motherly character that inspires moms to be nurturing and caring to children and people her children's ages-even into adulthood.
In Romans 16, when Paul was giving his personal greetings, he said this in verse 13, "Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too."
That's how moms are-they treat their nieces and nephews, children's friends and neighborhood kids like they were their own. You may have experienced that. Either your mother or one of your friend's mom was the one who brought out cookies or drinks or popsicles to all the kids playing in her yard. Maybe you spent time away from home and you found yourself a little homesick and you encountered a mother figure who treated you like you were her own. It made the pain of being away from your own mom that much easier. Some kids don't have good moms and you often see another mom come and give the child the care and nurturing they're missing.
A good mom is an example to other moms.
This is especially true for older moms in helping newer moms.
Titus 2:3-5, "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
A good mom will take the time to try and help new moms adjust to motherhood. They'll instruct them on the importance of being there for the kids and sacrificing some of the other things that they may have been busy with before for the sake of benefitting their family. They will teach them tricks of the trade when it comes to getting the baby to sleep or medicine or food. They will teach them the joys of motherhood and all the aspects of what to expect in child-rearing. She can talk to her about the changes that having a child brings to the relationship with her husband and how they can work together to make it more successful.
2) The makings of a good child. How should we treat our moms?
We need to honor them.
In the fifth commandment we are told to: Ex. 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
How do we honor our mother? One way is to show appreciation for her.
Hopefully, you're not like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs. On Mother’s Day, Calvin is pictured standing by his mother’s bed. "Hey, Mom! Wake up. I made you a Mother’s Day card." "My, how sweet of you." she says. "I did it all by myself. Go ahead & read it." She begins to read: "I was going to buy a card with hearts of pink & red. But then I thought I’d rather spend the money on me instead. It’s awfully hard to buy things when one’s allowance is so small. So I guess you’re pretty lucky I got you anything at all. Happy Mother’s Day. There, I’ve said it. Now I’m done. So how about getting out of bed & fixing breakfast for your son."
I don't think this would've went over well with my mom. She wouldn't have fixed breakfast; she would've fixed me! My sunny side would've been up!
I don't think this is how we should honor mom. Instead, let's do Prov. 31:28a, "Her children arise and call her blessed." Part of honoring mom is admiring her. We need to recognize all the wonderful qualities mom has. We need to recognize her for the blessing she is.
We need to respect them.
Leviticus 19:3 says we are to respect our mother. Another aspect of honoring mom is respecting her. Because of all the ways mom has been there and because of all the sacrifices she makes, she deserves our respect. But how do we do that if you feel we aren't being respected? First of all, if you're a teen-ager you're probably never going to think you're being respected. But what's important is that we try to put ourselves in her shoes. If she snaps at us or is impatient with us we shouldn't snap back we should try to find out what's wrong and ask if there's anything we can do to help.
Since mom usually is carrying such a load it goes a long way to offer our services to lighten that load. Often moms feel disrespected and taken for granted. How far will our respect go to the one who feels they are getting very little of it?
How do we respect if they are not a respectable person? Some moms aren't mother-of-the-year. They might not do too much that would be considered respectable behavior. But we still need to show respect. We might not respect some of the things she does but we still show respect because being disrespectful is not a godly trait.
And we need to pray for them. Maybe your mom caused you pain. Maybe she did some pretty bad stuff to you. Maybe she abandoned you. Whatever the case, show your respect by praying for her and forgiving her. Respect her for bringing you into the world. Respect her for what she did do you for. All moms deserve at least some respect. Once she gets some it could make a big difference and change the dynamic of your relationship with her.
We need to give them a reason to rejoice.
Prov. 10:1 says that a foolish son brings grief to his mother. I can think back to the times I brought grief to my mother for all the foolish things I did. It didn't register with me then but as I got older and especially with being a parent myself, I can look back and understand the pain and agony I caused by being foolish and rebellious. So now I need to treat my mom with honor and respect for all the garbage I put her through.
Prov. 15:20 says that a foolish man despises his mother. To despise means to loathe, look down on, even hate. If I'm living a foolish lifestyle I am despising my mother in that I don't care what my actions are doing to her. You hear about the ones who take advantage of their mother and use, manipulate and swindle their mother out of their savings in order to support their foolish habits and addictions or something similar.
Prov. 28:24, "He who robs his father or mother and says, “It’s not wrong”—he is partner to him who destroys."
Who is the one who destroys? Satan. So if I can steal from my mom and call it ok then I am working in accordance with the will of Satan.
Instead of doing despicable things to our moms, instead of bringing grief to her, we need to give her a reason to rejoice. Prov. 23:24-25, "The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!"
This is where my mom is now. Where once I brought grief, now I bring rejoicing. It's a much better feeling to know that you're a joy to your mom instead of an embarrassment to her.
We need to make sure she is taken care of.
That's what Jesus did. John 19:25-27, "Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home."
Jesus was suffering on the cross but he wanted to make sure his mom would be taken care of in his absence. When our moms get older we find that we are ones who are taking care of them. But don't they deserve it? All those years of taking care of us and now we get to give some of it back. It might not be easy but then again, it wasn't very easy for her when she was doing it for us.
And if for some reason we can't do it ourselves we need to do our research and make sure they will be someplace where they are well taken care of. There's neglect and abuse that goes on in some nursing homes and from what I understand the ones who don't get visited that often are the most vulnerable because the staff knows that no one is really checking up on them or advocating for them. This is sad on all accounts. We need to be good children by making sure we are taking care of our parents when they can't take care of themselves any longer.
3) The makings of a good husband. How should we treat the mother of our kids?
With love.
Eph 5:25-28, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
We see love involves giving ourselves up for our wives. Letting go of our own interests, giving up of our time for her. Whether that's being there for her or helping her out, love is being available. We know Jesus is always available for his church, let's be available; even when it's inconvenient, for our wives.
We also see that loving our wives involves spiritually ministering to her. We need to be focused on doing what we can to present her, as Christ does for the church, as one who is holy and blameless. We can contribute greatly to that process by being on that path ourselves and setting the example for her (and our kids) to follow.
Col 3:19, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
That means love is understanding, love is patient, love is even tempered. Love is not critical or condescending. Love isn't lashing out or being irate with our wives. What we need to understand is that when we're not loving to our wives that can cause her to be less loving to the kids. When we help them to be depressed or angry she might take it out on the kids. Even if that doesn't happen it still affects the kids because when mom is sad or angry the kids sense that and it makes them sad or angry.
Not to mention that how we treat our wives is being noticed and perhaps picked up by our kids. Do we want our sons to be loving to their wives? Then teach them by loving your own. Do we want our daughters to gravitate toward someone who treats them with disrespect and harshness? No? Then don't give them the impression that it's okay to be that way toward their mother. Love takes work but it's worth it. Husbands love your wives.
With consideration.
1st Peter 3:7 says we are to be considerate and respectful towards our wives. In dealing with the idea of purchasing Mother's Day gifts for the wife, here is one man who realized that the choices he has made do not fit in the category of consideration or respect.
Although the only person a man usually shops for is his wife, the whole experience is a stressful one. Many a man has felt frigid temperatures for a long time based on a poor present decision. As a veteran of these wars, I’m still not sure what to buy my wife, but I’ll pass on what NOT to buy her for Mother's Day.
1. Don’t buy clothing. The chances are one in seven thousand that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended the other 6999 times. "Do I look like a size 20?" she’ll say. Too small a size doesn’t cut it either: "Where have you been? I haven’t worn a size 8 in 20 years!"
2. Avoid all things useful. The new appliances and cleaning tools advertised to save hundreds of hours of hard labor is not going to win you any brownie points.
3. Don’t buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She’ll perceive a six-month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that’s she’s overweight.
4. Don’t buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can’t afford. And the jewelry you can afford, she doesn’t want.
5. Finally, don’t spend too much. "How do you think we’re going to afford that?" she’ll ask. But then again, don’t spend too little, either. She won’t say anything, but she’ll think, "Is that all I’m worth?"
Speaking of worth, have you ever wondered what a mom should be paid for her work as a mom? Salary.com has now valuated the "mom job"! We consulted Stay at Home and Working Moms to determine the top 10 jobs that make up a mom’s job description. If paid, Stay at Home Moms would earn $134,121 annually! And mind you, this survey is from 2006! Imagine what it's up to by now?!"
A stay-at-home mom who went to a PTA meeting one night. While she was gone, her husband and oldest daughter decided they would clean the kitchen for mom and surprise her when she got home. Well, they washed all the dishes, put away the pots and pans, cleaned the stove and countertops -- the kitchen was spotless.
Later that night, mom came home from the meeting... she walked in the kitchen and fixed herself something to drink and then went into the den to watch TV with her family... but she never said a word about the kitchen being cleaned.
Finally, after he could stand it no more, her husband said, "Honey, did you notice the clean kitchen?" "I did," she said. "Well, you're not going to say thank you or anything?" She said, "Why should I? It's a thankless job, isn't it?"
Most of the time us guys don’t have a clue. So, ladies, next time you’re in prayer, ask God to give us one-we desperately need it. Let us be more like the husband in Prov. 31:28-29, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things but you surpass them all." Acknowledge.
4) The makings of a good God.
In seeing Mom's wonderful attributes we can gain a better understanding of who God is and how he interacts with us. All the wonderful character traits of mom are found in God. God made man with certain strengths and positive qualities and he has made the female with certain strengths and positive qualities. Women are typically more nurturing than men and men are typically less emotional than women. It’s not that any of the characteristics of each aren’t found in the other but it doesn’t take a genius to understand that men and women are different.
As God has made men and women with different qualities, together they would form a complete unit of all the qualities. That’s why it’s important that men and women work together. But God is the complete picture; he is the perfect combination of all the positive qualities found in men and women.
This helps us in our relationship with God. He’s not just the Father but also, in a sense, the mother. I’m not saying God is feminine nor do we call him “mother god”. God has clearly been identified in scripture as Father. However, we shouldn’t limit our understanding of God to just manly or fatherly qualities. God is nurturing, he is emotional.
If you remember last week we looked at the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and we saw in John 11:35 that Jesus was overcome with emotion and he wept. And we talked in Sunday school about how that shows that although Jesus was a man he was willing to openly weep in front of people and how that was an example for us men to not be afraid to cry or show our emotions.
But this is how God wants us to see him. Not that he’s soft or dainty or anything like that but that he’s the one you can go to when you scrape your knee and he will kiss it and make it better. He’s the one who will tuck you in at night.
And he’s also the one who is protective like a mother and if someone hurts his child watch out. Like the mother bear robbed of her cubs you don’t want to mess with God’s child.
And there’s no better advocate for her child than his mother so there's no better advocate for us than God. He cares about children like a mother would. When the children were trying to make their way to Jesus the disciples tried to shoo the children away but Jesus (in a motherly love type of way) rebuked them and told them to let the children come to him.
You might be here today and you don’t have your mom here anymore. Or you may have grown up with a poor excuse for a mother. Look to God. Isa. 49:15, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!"
God fulfills all the aspects of a great mom. He is the one you can turn to for advice. You might be here today and you never became a mom. So perhaps mother’s day is a bit depressing for you because it’s a reminder that you haven’t gotten to experience motherhood. God is there to comfort you like only a mother can. Isa. 66:13a, "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you."
God is able to meet every need we have. In life there's some things only a mom can do and some only a dad can do. God can do it all. Everything you admire about mom is found in God. He is the total package; he is the one and only awesome God.
You may have wondered why I would be talking about the makings of a good child, husband and God when the title is "the makings of a good mom". It's because being a good child and a good husband aides greatly in making a good mom. And recognizing all the wonderful 'motherly' qualities that God gives mom the examples she needs to be a good mom. So let's go from here and do our best to help mom become the best mom she can be.
