I’ve often heard people say that children should come with an operating manual. The good news is that they do – it’s called the Bible. Over the next five weeks, we’re going to look at certain sections of that instruction manual. In order to make this as simple as possible and easier for us to remember, I’ve narrowed this down to the 5 “D’s” of raising G-rated children that we’ll be looking at over the next five weeks:
• Delight
• Devote
• Discipline
• Direct
• Disciple
I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time telling you how difficult that task has become in this culture because that is obvious to all of us.
But perhaps even more troubling is how the attitude toward children has changed so radically in this country over the last several generations. And that is quite troubling given that, as we’ll see clearly this morning…
When it comes to raising our children
attitude is more important than aptitude
I don’t say that in any way to diminish the importance of aptitude. In fact, over the next 5 weeks, we’ll spend a lot of time studying what the Bible teaches about how we are to raise our children. But the problem is that without the right attitude toward the children that God has entrusted to us, our efforts to raise G-rated kids in an X-rated world are going to fail regardless of our degree of aptitude.
I think the prevailing attitude toward children in our culture is demonstrated quite clearly by this speech from Ilyse Hogue, the president of a pro-abortion group, just a couple weeks ago at the Democratic National Convention.
[Clip of Ilyse Hogue speech]
My heart still breaks every time I see this video – people actually cheering and celebrating the fact that this woman had an abortion.
In a gathering of this size, it’s certainly possible, and maybe even likely, that there are some of you here who have been a party to an abortion. If that is the case, my purpose this morning is not to make you feel any guiltier than you might already feel. I want to assure you that what you have done is no worse than any other sin that any of us in this room have committed. And I also want to assure you that God’s grace, made available to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus, is more than sufficient to release you from your guilt and bondage. Hopefully you’ve already experienced that grace, but if not, please don’t leave here today until you talk to me or to someone else about how you can do that.
Let me call your attention to just few of the comments that Mrs. Hogue made in her speech:
“I made the decision that was best for me.”
“We are the same women, at differ times in our lives, each making decisions that are best for us.”
“That’s what gives our families the best chance to get ahead and stay ahead.”
Do you notice the common theme here? Mrs. Hogue, and unfortunately a large number of other people in our country view children like this – as an inconvenience that gets in the way of “what’s best for me” or that keeps me from “getting ahead and staying ahead”. And I would suggest to you this morning, that if we view our children like that, no amount of reading books or going to seminars or searching on the internet, or even trying to apply parenting principles from the Bible is going to enable us to raise G-rated kids in an X-rated world.
That is why it is so important for us to see our children through God’s eyes and not from the perspective of our culture. So this morning, we’re going to kick of this series by looking at two passages that will help us do just that.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
(Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)
1. No child is an accident.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
“accident” =
an unforeseen and unplanned event or circumstance”
From a human standpoint, it is certainly possible for a pregnancy to appear to be an accident if we use that definition. But this passage makes it clear that from God’s perspective, that is just not possible.
God did not, as some people claim, just create the universe and wind it up and leave it to function on its own. If that were the case, then I suppose it would be possible to say that a child could be conceive “by accident”. But David makes it clear that God is actively involved in the formation of each individual life. He knits each person together in the womb exactly as He desires and when He desires. In fact, He knows everything about us even before we are conceived. So in God’s eyes, no child is a mistake or an accident or an inconvenience, but rather a person in whom He delights. And if that is how God views each and every child, don’t you think we ought to do the same?
2. Every child is fearfully and wonderfully made.
As I was working on the message this week, I couldn’t help but think of this simple song that most of us have known since childhood.
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red, brown, yellow
Black and white
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children
Of the world.
David’s son, Solomon, built upon that idea in one of the Psalms that he penned
Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
(Psalm 127:1-5 ESV)
1. Human effort alone is futile.
Solomon confirms some of the things we learned in our study of Psalm 23, especially the idea that not taking time for proper rest is often an indication that we’re trusting more in our own efforts that we are trusting in God to provide for our needs. That is a futile way to live and it almost always leads to worry and anxiety in our lives.
And that can also be true in building our house and raising our children. I see so many parents who are experiencing unneeded anxiety and worry in their lives because they have this mistaken idea that the future of their children is completely dependent on their efforts. They have become convinced that their aptitude is more important than their attitude.
As I said earlier, I’m not trying to discount the importance of developing our aptitude in raising our kids. So over the next five weeks, I’ll be sharing some very practical advice from the Bible that will help us to do that. And there is no doubt that following those principles will be beneficial to you and the children in your lives. But if that drive for excellence in your parenting skills is not preceded by and powered by your delight in your kids, it will become a source of frustration rather than a source of success and joy.
2. Children are a reward from God
In Solomon’s day the idea that children were a reward from God was not nearly as foreign as it is in our culture today. Part of that was because in an agricultural society, the children were an important asset in taking care of fields and flocks. But even more importantly, God’s people had a long heritage of recognizing that children were a gift from God.
Think about it. What was the first command that God gave to Adams?
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth...”
(Genesis 1:28 ESV)
When Esau ran to meet his brother Jacob and asked about his children, Jacob responded like this:
Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”
(Genesis 33:5 ESV)
And when Jacob, who had since been renamed Israel by God saw Joseph’s sons and asked about them, Joseph replied:
“They are my sons, whom God has given me here.”
(Genesis 48:9 ESV)
The Israelites never thought of children as a burden or an inconvenience, but rather as a gift from God and a sign of God’s favor. That is why in the Old Testament we see that women like Sarah and Hannah are so distressed when they are unable to bear children.
That certainly does not mean that just because some of you don’t have children of your own that God has somehow withheld His blessings from your life. I know for some of you who have been unable to conceive or who have lost a child through a miscarriage or even those of you who would love to have children but are still single, that is certainly a source of pain in your life so I don’t want to add to that pain by implying in any way that is some kind of punishment by God. While I can’t tell you why God has chosen that path for you, what I can tell you for sure is that it is not a sign of God’s displeasure with you and my prayer for you is that if you feel like that at all that God would release you from that fear and guilt.
