The Sin of Gossip
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Introduction: Whether its formal meetings, dinner table discussions, or late night phone calls; gossip has always been a problem in the church. I saw a cartoon from leadership magazine shows a line of pews and the same sentence being passed from pew to pew.
1st pew - the pastor said his ear kind of hurts. 2nd pew - the pastor has an earache. 3rd pew - The pastor got a hearing aid. 4th pew - the pastor is having trouble hearing. By the time it got to the last pew - An old lady with cane is walking out and says "That does it, I'm outta here! - the pastor done went out and got a double earring!"
A rumor is like a snowball going downhill - the more it moves along the bigger it gets.
There are times that what we say can do more harm than we intend. Gossip is easy to indulge in because it is hardly seen as a sin anyway.
What exactly is a gossip? Webster defines gossip as both a noun and a verb. As a noun, a gossip is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts. As a verb, gossip is a rumor or a report of an intimate nature.
The sad reality of the matter is this: a gossip is a person who will talk about others with you and then turn around and talk to others about you.
I believe the best definition of gossip is saying something, even if it is true, with the intent to cause personal harm. By that definition we are all guilty. The family member that is considered to be a dead beat the Co-worker is just plain lazy The person at church that gets on your nerves.
Today we are going to focus on two key points about gossip from James 3:1-12 (read)
let's first look into ...
The Calamity of Gossip
James says that no man can tame the tongue. This is what we call hyperbole - it is an exaggeration to make a point and in this case James makes the point that while it may be possible to tame the tongue it is something that is extremely difficult and yet there is no one who has kept it in check perfectly, which makes his statement divine truth - no matter how hard we work to tame it there will be a time when we say more than we should or we say something we shouldn't.
One of the reasons that we need to get a handle on our words is because they are filled with great power. In fact, the tongue has the aggressive ability to destroy. Think about how many reputations have been ruined by careless words. When I work on gas pumps or oil tankers in my shed - I get paint and grease and oil on my jeans and it is difficult to get those stains out of my jeans, but at least I can get a different pair of jeans. But think about how difficult it is to get the dirt off a man's character once it is thrown on him. Once we are in someone's bad books we hardly ever get out of them.
Ill. A senior in high school said that as an eighth grader she was the subject of an online rumor that she had slept with the football team. She said, “I think it was started by the ex-girlfriend of a boy on the team. It didn’t matter where it came from. People wanted to believe it. There was no way to refute it. I wanted to kill myself.” That’s the pain and the devastation that can come from gossip. It’s like a fire.
According to James 3:6 "The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." This is exactly the issue with our words. One moment things are fine and the next moment like a fire, we are dealing with a major problem. James uses fire to describe the uncontrollable nature of our words once they are spoken. Once words are spoken they can't be taken back, no more than a raging fire can bring back everything that it burned up in the first place. When harmful words are sparked, they often spread like wildfire.
When our tongues are set on fire by heaven like it was in Acts 2:1-4 it kindles good thoughts, holy affections, and ardent devotions. James says that the tongue is set on fire by hell. And because of it, the tongue produces lies, slanders, contentions, insults, rage, hatred, and the general purpose of the devil.
The second word that James uses is poison. James uses an interesting word for poison because it was used to describe both the venom produced by snakes and scorpions but it was also used to describe rust. Not only is venom painful but it is deadly and it corrodes and destroys areas of our lives. Unlike a whip that stings or a club that pummels from the outside - venomous words pass through the flesh and beat us up in the mind and the heart.
Let me say this: If you listen to gossip, then you are part of the problem. Those who listen to gossip are just as guilty as those who do it. The only fuel a gossip has is a listening ear. Once you cut their fuel line you keep them from sinning against their brothers and you keep them from tempting you to do the same. Proverbs 20:19 - "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much." Why should we avoid someone who talks too much? Because as a great preacher once said "those who talk much, lie much!" and then said "Silence is wisdom and that is why the wise are scarce." We must do all we can to avoid such people.
Solomon wrote “A company of fools suffers harm" & "Bad company corrupts good character" It is more likely that the bad will change the good rather than the good will change the bad. While Jesus did eat with tax collectors and sinners, lets not forget that he was incorruptible - he was God in the flesh. He did eat with sinners, but He lived with the disciples. At some point we choose what environment we want to live in. We can surround ourselves with good Christian believers or we can surround ourselves with worldly & rebellious unbelievers. As we pointed out on Wednesday- polite interaction with unbelievers should not be avoided, but interaction is not the point. It's who we choose as our closest friends and confidants? Are they unbelievers or are they believers. How do they effect our spiritual walk? Do they bring us closer to God? or do they take us further away? Do they inspire us? or do they criticize us? Do they encourage us? or Do they discourage us? do they edify or depress us?
There are people who will look around ten good things to find one bad thing. They believe that God has called them to find every speck in every brother's eye. News flash: "we all stumble in many ways..." James 3:2 For some people, their pride won't allow them to praise anyone but themselves and they are satisfied with bringing others down with gossip. They refuse to come up to the light so they intend to drag you down into their darkness. There is a phrase used today amongst the youth to describe insulting or impugning others; its called "throwing shade" the more I consider it, the more I warm up to it, because it is an accurate description for those who use thinly veiled criticism to cast a shadow over another man's light.
I asked my daughter Friday if she knew what the favorite word of a gossip is. She said "Did you hear" I said "that is good but not it" she said 'but' - I was impressed that she got it right.
[ask the congregation to say "but" after each phrase]
Pastor: "Oh how I love sister so and so ... Congregation: "but..."
Pastor: "I don't mean to gossip ... Congregation: "but..."
Pastor: "I know I shouldn't say this ... Congregation: "but..."
Pastor: I didn't want to say anything... Congregation: "but..."
They love the word "but" because they believe that everything that precedes it justifies everything that comes after it. That three letter word gives them a license to gossip with impunity. Can you imagine if I told someone "I love you as I fumble around for my pistol to shoot them. Obviously, if I loved someone I wouldn't murder them! You may think that is silly and extreme but we can commit murder with the tongue as well as with the hand. The tongue is a restless evil therefore to avoid the damage it can cause to others we should be productive in doing something else.
As my mother used to tell me when I was a teenager who loved talking on the phone rather than doing my homework - "If you would do more working and less talking you would get more done." The same is true for gossip - If the gossip would do more working and less talking they would get more accomplished.
James not only compares our tongues to a fire or to poison but also to a wild animal. Our tongues are as fierce and uncontrollable as a wild mustang. Running and bucking anything it wants. And this is why James tells us that we must get a bridle on that wild horse, because if you don't it will run away and throw you! James also likens our tongue to a helm of a ship. The helm is a very small part of the ship just like the tongue is a very small part of the body, and if we can correctly steer our tongue we can direct the whole body. The tongue is a two ounce piece of flesh caged behind our teeth and when set loose it can either do a great deal of good (blessing, encouraging, praising, edifying) or it can do a great deal of harm (cursing, gossiping, discouraging, lying, impugning).
Transition: In the final part of this passage, James illustrates the hypocrisy of those who call themselves Christians but have no evidence to their claim, but through this analogy we find a cure for Gossip.
The Cure for Gossip
James 3:12 - "My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
I am not called to do your work for you, and you are not called to do my work for me, and together we are not called to do someone else's work for them. We don't have trees that produce bananas, oranges, apples, pears, and strawberries - no tree produces all kinds of fruit. Its the same way with the church; all true believers are members of one body of Christ, but all the members don't have the same office. The best thing for the body to do is let the eyes do the seeing, and the ears do the hearing, and the mouth do the talking, and the feet do the walking, and the hands do the giving and working and do not usurp any office that belongs to another.
So, when a man gets passionate about something and begins to curse and swear even as Peter did, someone naturally says "Oh I thought he was a Christian" and someone answers them and says "Well you know he used to not speak like that, he used to speak lovingly and very kindly of everyone." That may have been the case, but it is a poor sort of Christianity that does something like that, even if it is occasionally.
My prayer for the church is that God would deliver us from bearing two types of fruit! What if the whole church acted this way, one moment: they have a reputation for holiness and the next moment they are notorious for their sin? If God be God, then follow him; or if the devil be God, then go and serve him; but serving both is a compromise that God abhors!
A drunk man tries to walk on both sides of the street at the same time, nearly getting himself ran over. And whenever I see a man trying to serve God and to serve the devil too, I know that he is just as inebriated thinking that he can serve God and serve the devil at the same time- otherwise if he were in his right mind he would never imagine doing such a thing!
A certain man was near a fig tree and he wanted everyone to think that it was an olive tree - so he simply took several tabs of paper and wrote the word "olive" on it and decorated the fig tree like we would adorn a Christmas tree with ornaments. How often do hypocrites adorn their lives with the label of Christian fruit and yet they still keep bearing the same old fruit of sin in their lives. Putting a Christian label on it will never change that. Spurgeon once said that "A gossip is more likely to preach than to pray."
Just calling a person a child of God will never make that person a child of God. The big question is this: Is the problem with the words themselves? No. The problem is with the source. The problem with sour water, isn't the water itself, its the source because the source is what is making the water sour.
If the word is true that 'out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks' then the only way to cure what comes out of the mouth is to cure what is in the heart. Once we purify the heart purified words come out of it. In order to get the spring to produce fresh water we must have a fresh water spring. The Word is plain:
"YE MUST BE BORN AGAIN."
Unless you are regenerated, born from above by a new and heavenly birth, you are not a born again Christian. If there is no real change from Christ, then you can't possibly produce the fruit of the Spirit any more than a fig tree can produce olives.
Conclusion:
"Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" -James 4: 11, 12
The Bible says "By their fruit you will know them" and speaking evil of one another is bad fruit. By raising accusations exaggerating failures, or by stealing esteem by discrediting a brother under the guise of religion is a very great evil. We expect such actions from the world, but for the saints to speak evil of each other, to sit and slander the reputation of a brother is contrary to the spirit of Christ.
It is one thing to rebuke a man who has transgressed God's law, someone who is having an affair, caught up in pornography, drugs, booze, sexual perversion or financial scandal (embezzlement) or spreading lies, teaching false doctrines or heaven forbid, something worse. But if you judge him based on what the law does not forbid, you are presuming an office that doesn't belong to you, to be the judge when it is not your place to be one.
"who are you to judge your neighbor?"
There is so much good in life to be enjoyed, I don't know why anyone would want to waste it on gossip. Remember that "Love covers a multitude of sin." We should praise God more and blame others less. In the 6th chapter of Spurgeons' book "John Plowman's talk" He writes "If you don't cut off the bit of your tongues, at least season it with the salt of grace." We should do all we can to avoid the sin of gossip and to avoid the one who gossips, and ask the Lord to set a watch over your lips so that we don't sow the wind with gossip, because if we do we will and reap the whirlwind of its consequences.
Amen.
Altar Call:
You might think this message is for someone else but I pray you let this word convict you. If we are honest we have all participated in the sin of gossip in some way. If there is anyone who is willing to sacrifce their pride and come forward to repent of evil words, evil thoughts, evil intentions, evil deeds I can assure you that the burden of sin will be lifted from your shoulders and you will feel refreshed and renewed by the grace of God who is always willing to give forgiveness to those who ask for it.
