Isolate Your Isolation
Habits of Happiness Part 1
Matthew 22:36-39
We all want to be happy.
I bet there is no single person who intentionally chooses to be unhappy.
However, so many people in this world are not happy for one reason or another.
In order to be happy, this is what we have to realize.
Happiness is our choice.
Happiness is something that we choose.
In order to be happy, we must do things that will bring happiness.
However, there are many who are not happy.
It is partly because of the way they think, the way they talk, and the way they act does not make them happy.
When people think negatively, talk critically, and act unbiblically, these are not something that they acquired overnight.
They are habits that they have built.
Therefore, in order to be happy, we must change the way we think, talk, and act.
We must build habits of thinking, talking, and acting biblically.
And we can form these habits by repeatedly doing them.
Therefore, during this series, we will talk about habits that we must build to experience happiness in our lives.
And today we will talk about the importance of being connected to others around us.
Many people are living in emotional pain.
Many people struggle with depression, anxiety, panic, addiction, and guilt.
Why?
Some people might say, “They lack faith.”
If they just read the Bible more, pray more, and have more faith, then their struggles will disappear.
Yes, it is true that reading Bible more, praying more, and having faith more will help.
However, sometimes the issue is more complicate than that.
And in order to understand our struggles, we need to understand certain basic issues.
The Bible says that we are created in the image of God (Gn. 1:27).
In other words, we are created to be “like” God.
And the more we become like Him, the less we will struggle with emotional problems.
Therefore, the question is to figure out how to become more Godlike.
One of the aspects of God that we must emulate is this.
Our God is a relational being.
He exists in three persons: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit.
And there is a prefect relationship between these three persons of the Trinity.
Because we are living in a fallen world, we have difficulties developing and maintaining relationships.
Without the ability to develop and maintain relationships, we can remain isolated.
Today, we will examine three bonds that we must develop and maintain to be happy.
So, what is bonding?
Bonding is the ability to establish an emotional attachment to another person.
It is the ability to relate to another on the deepest level.
When two persons have a bond with each other, they share their deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other.
And in order to be happy, we must develop and establish emotional connections in these three areas.
I. We must be connected with God (vv. 36-38).
Bonding is one of the most basic and foundational human need.
And first relationship that we must build is our relationship with God.
Verses 36-38 say this.
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
God created us with a hunger for a relationship with Him.
God did not create us to live apart from Him.
In other words, we cannot be truly happy without being connected to God.
No matter what characteristics we possess, or what accomplishments we have, without a solid connection with God, we will suffer a sickness of our soul.
Think about how plants grow.
They must be connected to something outside of themselves.
The main stem is connected to the roots, which in turn are buried in the soil where they draw water and nutrients up into the stem.
Perhaps the most well-known passage using this plant imagery is John 15.
Jesus said this in John 15:5-6.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.
Jesus told us very clearly.
Without a connection to with God, we will slowly wither and die just as a branch that is cut off from its vine.
We will die physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.
God is a relational being, and He created us as relational beings.
And the first relationship that we must have is our relationship with God.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had a perfect relationship with God.
However, after Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin caused a broken relationship with God.
They became cut off and separated from God.
They no longer had the fundamental relationship they needed.
This thrusted them into a state of isolation from God.
From this point on, separation with God has become our primary problem.
Our relationship with God needs to be restored.
This is why God sent Jesus to restore this broken relationship.
And the message of the gospel is about the restoration of the relationship between God and humans.
And that is what bonding with God is all about.
Because we live in a fallen world, we were born in the state where our connection with God is broken.
However, we can restore this broken bond through Jesus Christ.
The moment we believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, this broken bond can be restored.
We become His children and He becomes our Father.
Then we must strengthen this bond throughout our lives.
And there are some things that we must do to strengthen our relationship with Him.
We must practice simple spiritual disciples like reading the Bible, communicating to God through prayer, and attending weekly worship services.
These are basic stuff.
However, some Christians lack these basics to be connected to God.
If we do not practice these basic spiritual disciplines, we will not grow in our relationship with God.
Therefore, by making Jesus our Savior and Lord, we must establish our relationship with God.
And then we must grow our relationship with God by constantly communing with Him.
We must be connected with God.
II. We must be connected with others (v. 39).
If everything goes right, we begin to bond naturally as infants, first to parents and then to others around us.
A person’s ability to love and connect with others is the foundation for physical, psychological, relational and spiritual health.
When we are in a bonded relationship with others around us, we are alive and growing.
When we are isolated from others, we are slowly dying.
The Bible said it long ago, and science is proving it today.
After we come into the world, if we learn to bond to others and trust others, we begin to develop physically, psychologically, relationally and spiritually.
But if we do not learn to bond to others, then we will be isolated.
This is why Jesus said this in verse 39.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
God commanded us to love others around us.
It is because we cannot do life without others.
All of the commandments in the Bible are about how to be properly connected to God and others around us.
It is like this.
Not only is a stem connected to its roots, it is also connected to other branches, which is connected to the leaves, which catch the sunlight and transform its radiant energy into a chemical energy that feeds the plant.
Just like this, not only do we need to be connect with God, but we also need to be connect with others.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had a perfect relationship with God and with each other.
However, after Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin came into this world.
That caused the broken relationship, not only with God, but also with each other.
Some people may think that they can have everything through God and they do not need other people.
They say, “All I need is God. If I have God, I have everything I need.”
But this is not true.
Let me tell you why.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam was in a perfect environment.
He had everything he needed to live.
He had all the food that he needed.
And he had a perfect relationship with God.
However, God’s assessment of his condition was not good.
Genesis 2:18 says this.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God saw that Adam was alone and it was not good.
And He created Eve to be with him.
Why?
It is because God created us to live in relationships, not only with God, but also with others.
This is why it is so important for us to be connected with others.
People, who say that they do not need anyone beside God, miss the relational aspect of sanctification, or becoming holy.
Sanctification rests on the working out of our relationships with others.
Martin Luther who used to be a monk said this after he got married: Nothing sanctifies us more than marriage.
As we get into conflicts and resolve our conflicts, we become more and more like God.
People, who abandon their relationships whenever they have issues and never own up to their problems, are missing out on the opportunity to become more like God.
We need relationships with others.
However, relationships with imperfect people can be messy.
This is why some people avoid relationships with others.
But if they do life alone, they will die alone, and saddest of all, they will go to heaven alone.
They will not be able to lead and take others to heaven with them.
This is why we must decide.
Do I want to have relationships with imperfect people or do I want to live alone, die alone, and go to heaven alone?
Long ago, I decided that having imperfect relationships is better than no relationship at all.
This is why we must learn to forgive others, mend relationships with others and move forward.
Otherwise, we will never live a happy life.
But why is having relationships with others so important?
Jesus commanded us to be connected to Him.
He commanded us to be connected to others.
Otherwise, we cannot make disciples.
If we are living our lives alone, we are disobeying the Great Commission of God.
If we want to obey God and make disciples of all nations, we must be connected with others.
III. We must be connected with ourselves (v. 39).
Again verse 39 says this.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
There is so much insight regarding human nature in this passage.
In this passage, there are two words that we can easily miss, but they have profound insight.
Those are “as yourself.”
Why are these words so important?
It tells us that in order to love, accept, and value others, we must first learn to love, accept, and value ourselves.
Without loving ourselves, we cannot love others.
Some people say that we have no problem loving ourselves.
They say that we are naturally selfish.
However, this is a very shallow assessment of human nature.
Being selfish is not the same as loving ourselves.
In fact, being selfish is a sign of insecurity, bad self-image and low self-esteem.
If someone truly accepts, respects, and loves himself or herself, that person will also accept, respect, and love others.
This is why I really believe that racism, sexism, and bigotry are not only signs of hatred, but they are signs of insecurity.
People who accept, respect, and love themselves will not have any problem accepting, respecting, and loving others.
Just watch those, who always speak words of hatred.
They do that because they are trying to protect and defend themselves by saying negative things about others.
In order to accept, respect, and love others, we must first accept, respect, and love ourselves.
We must be aware of what is really going on inside of us.
We must be connected with our inner-selves.
In order to do that, we must regularly have times of introspection.
We must read and meditate on the Bible and examine ourselves according to the truth that is revealed in the Bible.
We must understand our identity, our nature, our issues according to the truth that is revealed in the Bible.
We must be connected with ourselves.
In college, when I studied Psychology, I began to see others as who they really were.
I saw their selfishness and hypocrisy.
And I could not stand them.
Therefore, I isolated myself from them.
I went to church but I avoided others.
Then I realized that I have the same issues as them.
I had the same selfishness and hypocrisy.
I realized that I was no better than others.
Therefore, I decided I had to accept, respect, and love myself and then accept, respect, and love others who were also imperfect.
I think many people lack this understanding.
I see some people who are so judgmental.
They criticize, judge, and hate others.
They are so unforgiving as if they never make any mistakes.
On the surface, they sound like they are very cocky, arrogant, conceited, and egotistic.
But they are actually out of touch with what is going on inside of them.
People, who understand who they really are, cannot be so critical, judgmental, hateful, and unforgiving.
If we want be happy, we must be connected with ourselves.
We must be honest about who we are and accept and love ourselves as God accepted and loved us.
And then we must love, accept and forgive others who are imperfect just like us.
We must be connected with ourselves.
Conclusion
We need to be connected with God, others, and ourselves.
It is because bonding with God, others and ourselves are the fundamental basis for our happiness.
Our cities are filled with unhappy, angry, lonely people.
Our cities are fill with hatred, injustice and violence.
These problems will never be solved until we learn to love God, love others, and love ourselves.
We must learn to be connected with God, others, and ourselves.
When we do that, we will avoid the pains of isolation.
And we will build a habit of happiness.
