1. Quiet Desperation of Loneliness
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.
Shirley says, "Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely."
Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely."
"Of course I’m lonely, he says, "I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison."
"You’re kidding! What for?"
"For killing my third wife. I strangled her."
"What happened to your second wife?"
"I shot her."
"And, if I may ask, your first wife?"
"We had a fight and she fell off a bridge."
"Oh my," says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells,
"You’re never going to believe this, Shirley. He’s single."
Have you ever been so hungry for a friend that you made a poor decision? Believe it or not, like it or not our need for friends is one of our most urgent needs. Sometimes the need overwhelms us so much that we are willing to do anything to feel loved, from going home with a stranger to striking up conversations with telemarketers. We live in an increasingly isolating society and we are willing to do almost anything to not feel lonely.
Today Show, December 27, 2016: Match.com Scam: Believing in long-distance love, Betty Davies fell victim to a romance scam on Match.com. Davies wired a “love interest” scammer her life savings, a whopping $270,000, which left her with nothing. She thought the person with whom she was corresponding was legitimately interested in her. She believed his phony stories and financial requests in spite of something telling her it was a scam until she had given him all of her savings.
Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Sometimes it appears that we will do anything to feel accepted. As Americans we are among the loneliest people in the world. As a culture we are radically much different than we were a generation ago or even a decade ago. ATM machines allow us to do our banking without talking to anyone. In fact most banks have the option of convenience with online Internet banking. Incredibly convenient but there is a loss of personal touch.
Walk into almost any large store and they provide you with the option of self check-out system. Or gas up at the station by paying at the pump. Social Media; Internet Payments
Over the past few decades we have become more isolationist as a society. Sure things have gotten more convenient but many Americans say that it has also gotten lonelier.
2. Author and preacher, Randy Frazee writes “isolation is the second major obstacle to connecting in true community.” He says this flows out of the first main obstacle which is “a culture of individualism” which breeds the sickness of loneliness.
3. God knew our universal need for encouragement and friendship – Acts 2.42-47
a. It is possible for a group of people to commit themselves to the bible but not be a community (an “edah” – Matthew 16.18). It is also possible for a group of people to experience community without being biblical. The trick is to put the two together and become a “Biblical community of believers in Jesus.”
b. This is a service our church can provide for one another and our society – a place to find genuine friendship and encouragement based on the life of Jesus.
4. Jesus initiated his kingship in this world through a small group of 12/120/3000/++++
I. Friendship/Fellowship is in Our Nature – Genesis 2.18
A. God was there but Adam Needed More
1. God created his companion
2. God established the first small group – family
[First command to Adam and Eve
B. God is in Our Midst but We Need More
1. Church is Family
2. God has Chosen to Partner with People in his mission (Acts 2.43 – via apostles, not just happening by God alone)
II. Friendship/Fellowship is for Our Nurture – Acts 2.42-47
Devoted to: Teaching – Fellowship – Breaking Bread – The Prayer
Seen in verses like:
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
2 Corinthians 13:11 Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.
A. Types of Nurturing Relationships
1. Personal Relationships
Different from “Functional Relationships” as with Mechanic or Doctor (may have overlap in certain cases) – my mechanic does not care about my joys or my hurts – he wants my money when he finishes his work
2. Growing Relationships
Growing beyond superficiality – “To know me is to love me.”
3. Encouraging Relationships
Faith-building relationships
World is full of discouraging things
B. Requirements:
• TIME – Ephesians 5.16 Making the best use of the time
• EMPATHY – Romans 12.15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
• ACCEPTANCE – [My friend since 5th Grade – has good traits; some flawed traits, but is my friend; He would say the same of me;
Romans 12.16 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
o TRANSPARENCY – 1 Corinthians 11.1
o VULNERABILITY – James 5:16 confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
• PATIENCE – Ephesians 4.32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
• EFFORT – Proverbs 17.17a A friend loves at all times,
DISPLAYED IN: Teaching – Fellowship – Breaking Bread – The Prayer
1. Small Groups (HOME Groups) – provide a place for nurturing fellowship in the disciple-making process
2. See Chris Leck and Linden Hardin to get involved in HOME Groups
3. An Extreme Case
The Boston Globe ran this story some time back:
It can never be said that Adele Gaboury’s neighbors were less than responsible. When her front lawn grew hip-high, they had a local boy mow it down. When her pipes froze and burst, they had the water turned off. When the mail spilled out the front door, they called the police. The only thing they didn’t do was check to see if she was alive.
She wasn’t.
On Monday, police climbed her crumbling brick stoop, broke in the side door of her little blue house, and found what they believe to be the seventy-three-year-old woman’s skeletal remains sunk in a five-foot-high pile of trash where they had apparently lain, perhaps for as long as four years.
Eileen Dugan, seventy, once a close friend of Gaboury’s, whose house sits less than twenty feet from the dead woman’s home said, “It’s not really a very friendly neighborhood; I’m as much to blame as anyone. She was alone and needed someone to talk to, but I was working two jobs and I was sick of her coming over at all hours. Eventually I stopped answering the door.”
Nobody was out there for Adele Gaboury. Who are you “there” for? Who is “there” for you?
