Genesis 32:1-2 – HOW TO HANDLE THE GREATEST CONFLICT OF ALL
Instructions in Diplomatic Integrity – Part 1
Twenty years ago, he left the country as a fugitive, with a death sentence on his head. Now, if he is to return, he will either be public enemy number one or one of the best diplomats of his time.
Jacob fled from Esau, his brother, trying to escape from his past. Then from Laban, his uncle, who was trying to control his future. He is most disturbed, however, by what is happening in the present. This journey back to his homeland after twenty years will either be a pathway of diplomacy or a precipice of disaster!
I have entered meetings so charged with negative emotions that it made me want to run the other way. Jacob has good reason to want to run.
The situation was quite clear when Jacob left the country. Genesis 27:41 (NLT) says, “From that time on, Esau HATED Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I WILL KILL MY BROTHER, JACOB.”
How should he respond to Esau’s antagonism, his intimidating tactics? How can he convey, in the most persuasive way possible, that he intends no further harm or trickery to his brother and do this without compromising God’s purposes for his life?
That’s why Jacob’s short course in diplomacy is worth noting. Over a twenty year period he has earned his diplomatic qualifications the hard way. Now he is a member of that exclusive and prestigious profession of pinstriped men and women who glide their way across the earth in a dance of diplomacy with all the finesse and etiquette that is demanded when walking on eggshells. The only difference is that he wants to dance with diplomatic integrity rather than deceit. No stew pots or sheep skin.
What can he teach us when we dread facing situations in life which threaten our future?
1. ADMIT THAT YOU MAY NEED HELP
Genesis 32:1-2 says “As Jacob started on his way again, angels of God came to meet him. When Jacob saw them, he exclaimed, “This is God’s camp!” So he named the place Mahanaim.”
OK, so it won’t always be angels but, somewhere along the way to the purposes of God it seems we always have to confront our past, and we need all the help we can get to move forward.
Jacob has been no angel, but Angels keep turning up at key points in Jacob’s life. They were there at Bethel when God gave Jacob an unbelievable promise. And they will be at Bethel when God fulfils His promise.
Why are they here? Do these angels encourage him to make face to face contact with Esau rather than try deceptive means to get back into the country? We are not told.
Perhaps this angelic diplomatic attaché is here to witness what Jacob is going to do, give him confidence that God is here, and show him he is doing the right thing. He was obviously moved by this sighting.
Then again, they may be there to get a good seat for the fight, nice and early.
Jacob names the place, “Mahanaim” which means “two camps”. Military camps. Are these angelic figures involved in the Spiritual warfare of this occasion as they watch God and man in contest? Are they there to observe just how God works out his purposes? Are they there to protect Jacob? I have all these questions, but we are not told! God leaves out the details so many times in the Bible. But figure it out…
This is a stress-plus time for Jacob. From the moment Jacob obeys God by leaving Laban behind, he is more open to seeing what is happening spiritually on every level. He is attuned to the fact that something significant is about to happen. I guess seeing “angels of God” will do that everytime.
There have been situations in my life which have brought me to the realisation that I need God’s help. Often it has meant starting out with what I already know and with what I already have in my hand, and only then do I discover the spiritual help at hand to cover that which I don’t know.
One thing I do know is that "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" (Romans 8:31, NLT).
So how does Jacob prepare for this confrontation? How do you prepare for a coming confrontation? How do you prepare when you are facing a meeting with a sense of dread?
2. DON’T PROCRASTINATE, PREPARE WELL
“Then Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother, Esau, who was living in the region of Seir in the land of Edom” (Genesis 32:3 NLT).
He sends messengers ahead. Why didn’t he go himself? Let’s face it. When death threats have been made, it makes more sense to send neutral parties. They travel to Seir in Edom; the territory of Esau, South of the Dead Sea. Good move Jacob!
Take action now. As so often is the way, help arrives when we get up and do something. Angels came as Jacob “started on his way”. Sometimes we just have to make a choice to move before God comes to meet with us more directly. Mind you, it took Jacob twenty years to get to this point!
Jacob is a wordsmith. He crafts what he wants to say so as not to inflame any residual anger in his confrontation with Esau.
3. SPEAK WITH RESPECT AND HUMILITY
“He told them, “Give this message to my master Esau: ‘Humble greetings from your servant Jacob. Until now I have been living with Uncle Laban,…” (Genesis 32:4 NLT).
Why does Jacob call Esau his master? Some say Jacob is despising his birthright which gave him rulership of the family, just as Esau had despised it by giving it away. They say Jacob is forsaking his father’s blessing by calling himself Esau’s servant, but give him a break! Isn’t it more likely that he is simply being polite? He is humbly showing respect. It doesn’t hurt to show respect. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
Jacob has been away for a long time. This is Esau’s home territory. He wants to enter on Esau’s terms, not just barge in with the arrogance of a fool and provoke hostility. He crafts his message carefully. There are no threats or judgments, just a wisely worded diplomatic message.
This is a picture of servanthood that one day his descendant Jesus would exemplify. Jesus, the servant ruler tells His disciples, Mark 9:35 (NLT) “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”
The time inevitably will come in our lives when God teaches us leadership through unpretentious servanthood and diplomacy, rather than insisting on our rights. We cannot know how to lead if we do not ourselves know what it means to submit.
Jacob also teaches us about focus in the midst of conflict.
4. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD AND FOCUS ON THE DESIRED OUTCOME
Jacob sends a message to Esau,
“…and now I own cattle, donkeys, flocks of sheep and goats, and many servants, both men and women. I have sent these messengers to inform my lord of my coming, hoping that you will be FRIENDLY to me” (Genesis 32:5 NLT).
Jacob is direct. He lets Esau know that he has a small army of servants and livestock with him and that he hopes for a friendly meeting. Wise move Jacob! No sign of deception here, just a lot of wisdom.
Some say he was trying to impress Esau with his wealth, and this was only evidence that Jacob didn’t trust God to care for him, but please! He has to get in contact with Esau in some way.
He is letting Esau know that he is not there to bring harm but re-establish a friendship or at least a working relationship. He tells Esau exactly what is happening, how many people he has with him, what he can expect, no frills, no surprises, no deception. Just straight talk and a focus on the best possible scenario: friendship.
The key diplomatic responsibilities of Jacob are how best to influence and persuade Esau to re-establish a relationship with him as an ally rather than adversary. In this operation as an Ambassador of God, his intelligence, integrity, his understanding of the emotional climate, and his spiritual insight are critical.
If he succeeds, he will live to tell the story and develop a relationship with Esau grounded in trust and mutual understanding. If he doesn’t, he will have placed his family in the worst possible danger. There are no guarantees except the promises of God.
God has granted Jacob extensive privileges and immunities, but all that depends upon applying his faith to this confrontation with Esau. The Elegancy of Diplomacy is worthless without the Integrity of Devotion to God and His purposes.
“After delivering the message, the messengers returned to Jacob and reported, “We met your brother, Esau, and he is already on his way to meet you—with an army of 400 men!”” (Genesis 32:6 NLT).
So much for diplomacy. Jacob shows his humility and Esau responds with a show of strength. Esau has an army and Jacob has flocks and servants. If this is reduced to Possessions and Power then there’s little chance of resolution.
Flexing his muscles with an army of 400 men indicates fairly strongly that Esau doesn’t trust Jacob. Based on his record, I wouldn’t either. Experience tells him that he should not take chances. He doesn’t give any message to Jacob, but leaves him guessing as to whether he is coming as friend or foe.
When a conflict management meeting starts to go south, what can you do?
Jacob is preparing to come face to face with Esau. When a conflict management meeting starts to go south, what can you do?
5. MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS
“Jacob was terrified at the news…” (Genesis 32:7 NLT).
OK, so Jacob is not exactly cool, calm and collected about the news of an army of 400 men coming his way. And neither are you, if you are honest, when faced with conflict.
But once again, Jacob observes the facts of the situation as objectively as he can. So often in conflict management, we have limited information, much of which is anything but good. But here Jacob has a window of opportunity, a timeframe within which he must respond with something concrete and positive. The clock is counting down and at the moment he has about 24 hours to defuse this potentially explosive situation.
6. REMAIN OPEN TO IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBILITIES
What do you do when you don’t know what to do?
Jacob can only assume that past history will dictate how Esau will handle this conflict. Esau was always a hunter. A whole lot more information is needed but all Jacob can go with is what little he has. If he remains open to the possibility that Esau may be willing to negotiate, then he may still be able to pour oil on the water.
6. BE STRATEGIC IN CARING FOR THOSE AFFECTED
“…He divided his household, along with the flocks and herds and camels, into two groups. He thought, “If Esau meets one group and attacks it, perhaps the other group can escape”” (Genesis 32:7-8 NLT).
Jacob is terrified but not stupid. He takes immediate action to protect his family and servants. Trusting in God but not his brother, Jacob believes for the best and prepares for the worst. He is being proactive in dividing his company into two groups given that God has not given specific instructions as to how to deal with Esau.
Notice Jacob moves to protect his family and his people rather than his flocks and herds. People are always more important than the conflict. He has learned that people in his life are not just commodities to be manipulated to suit his own ends. One group at least has hope for escape.
I’m sure Jacob is hoping that the angelic army is going to help, but he’s setting things up in case they are just there to watch.
Is all this simply scheming as some have suggested, and not trusting in God? It seems to me Jacob is acting with care, putting others first. He’s afraid, but he’s not running away from God’s plan and he is taking responsibility for the blessings with which God has entrusted to him.
Jacob needs counsel, not criticism and who can he talk to? When you need urgent counsel, who do you talk to?
6. TALK THINGS OVER WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST
“Then Jacob prayed, “O God…”” (Genesis 32:9 NLT).
Sure, you might want a human counsellor, but when it comes to trusting someone, God is a great contact.
Jacob comes to God in prayer. This is crisis prayer, but shows that God is becoming a more central figure in his life. In fact this prayer is central to all that happens in this story. It leaves me to consider that if Jacob has a history of significant interactions with God, then prayer is a key factor to the outcomes of my own life today.
7. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE
“O God of my grandfather Abraham, and God of my father, Isaac—O Lord, You told me, ‘Return to your own land and to your relatives.’ And You promised me, ‘I will treat you kindly’” (Genesis 32:9 NLT).
To be blessed by God and then murdered by his brother doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. When all we can see is the difficult circumstances, we miss out on seeing God’s past record of faithfulness. Prayer draws us back into the reality of God’s intentions.
Jacob is laying it out on the line with God in prayer. There is family history in his relationship with God. There is a covenant in place and so far it has all worked out. God has been faithful.
My wife has a wonderful heritage of faith extending back generations in her family, but any follower of Christ has become a part of the generational blessing and faithfulness of God over centuries and we have good reason to develop trust. We do so on the basis of a new covenant with God made through the death of Christ.
Hebrews 8:6-13 (NLT) says “But now Jesus, … mediates for us a far better covenant with God, based on better promises: “… I will put My laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people. … And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.”
From Genesis 28:12-15, it’s quite clear that God was with Jacob and would protect him wherever he went. God had big plans for Jacob and his sons. Jesus would eventually come from his line. If Esau wanted to escalate conflict, then he really didn’t have a chance.
We have the history and heritage of God’s faithfulness and forgiveness going back thousands of years. Yet sometimes it is our own past history, and lack of faithfulness that gets in our way of trusting in God.
Jacob was the big man, knowing that he was in the right, when he stood up to Laban. But with Esau, he knows he has done the wrong thing. What do you do about it if your actions have caused the conflict?
8. ADMIT YOUR PART IN THE CONFLICT
“I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now my household fills two large camps!” (Genesis 32:10 NLT).
He’s right. He is not worthy. He has lied to his father and cheated his brother. He left the country bankrupt because you can never achieve a worthy end with unworthy means. Finally he starts to realise that he has lived his life making decisions apart from God. Perhaps he is saying, “Lord I am the younger brother. I didn’t deserve the birthright or blessing on my life, because they were obtained through deception and not from Your Hand. They gained me nothing but exile. Despite being as unworthy as I am, when I have trusted You, You have only shown Your love and faithful provision for my life.”
Isaiah 53:6 (NLT) says “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.” But now, in the crisis of this moment, Jacob makes himself subservient to God who has been with him in the process of a lifetime. He is unworthy but not worthless. He humbles himself before God just as he humbles himself before Esau. “Servant of all”.
This will test Jacob’s faith and character. Will he have what it takes for God’s promise to be fulfilled with integrity, humility and respect rather than try to gain the blessing from his self-motivated arrogant wilfulness?
Recognising that we have a responsibility in owning our part in the conflict is important. Jacob is being real with God and Esau.
9. BE SPECIFIC IN WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN
“O Lord, please rescue me from the hand of my brother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to attack me, along with my wives and children.
But You promised me, ‘I will surely treat you kindly, and I will multiply your descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore—too many to count’” (Genesis 32:11-12 NLT).
Jacob gets down to the specifics. He’s learned a lot about God; His promises, His faithful love, not to mention an angelic army. He doesn’t have nearly as much regard for Esau. He fears that he and his family will be massacred.
As God’s diplomat he has been appointed with letters of accreditation in the form of a promise which enables him to carry out his duties on behalf of the King of kings within the jurisdiction of this land. He is a servant and ambassador for God’s purposes. But right now he is wondering about his diplomatic immunity from Esau’s arrows.
In prayer, Jacob the deceiver reminds God about His promises, and no doubt prayer also had a way of reminding him about the faithfulness of God.
He will need to take proactive steps to restore his credibility with Esau. Not so easy. How can you convince someone to meet with you when you have lost respect in their eyes?
10. MAKE IT EASY FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO COME TO THE TABLE
“Jacob stayed where he was for the night. Then he selected these gifts from his possessions to present to his brother, Esau:…” (Genesis 32:13 NLT).
After prayer Jacob didn’t fall to pieces, but sought to make it easy for Esau to talk. To avoid triggering further conflict Jacob sets about giving recompense for the deception he used so many years ago when he stole the birthright and blessing from Esau.
Now he is getting things right with his brother without compromising on the promises of God. The aftermath of failures can be used by God to grant success. Perhaps this is why God has blessed him materially. So that he could make restitution to Esau, with interest.
Some accuse Jacob of trying to buy Esau's favour, but it’s always easy to be suspicious of his motives when an olive branch is extended. He has just been in prayer. This is more likely to be a response from the time he has spent with God.
“200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 ewes, 20 rams, 15 30 female camels with their young, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys, and 10 male donkeys” (Genesis 32:14-15 NLT).
This is a fortune but Jacob has a moral obligation. He is being exceptionally generous but these animals were never really meant for him. All these animals are valuable but restitution is due. Jacob shows Esau that he respects and cares about the unrealised issues in their relationship that may still be important to him.
“He divided these animals into herds and assigned each to different servants. Then he told his servants, “Go ahead of me with the animals, but keep some distance between the herds”” (Genesis 32:16 NLT).
He decides to drip-feed the animals to Esau, one herd at a time. Wave after wave of gifts. He’s not running away, but making it easy for his brother to come to the negotiating table.
God’s blessings to Jacob become Esau’s gift of restoration. So much of that with which we are blessed is not meant for us but is for giving away to others. So often our response to God’s material blessings are put to the test. Are we willing to let them go?
What if Esau is suspicious of Jacob’s motives? How do you prepare to meet with someone who is suspicious of your motives?
11. ANTICIPATE THE QUESTIONS THAT WILL BE RAISED
“He gave these instructions to the men leading the first group: “When my brother, Esau, meets you, he will ask, ‘Whose servants are you? Where are you going? Who owns these animals?’ You must reply, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob, but they are a gift for his master Esau. Look, he is coming right behind us’” (Genesis 32:17-18 NLT).
Jacob anticipates the questions that Esau will ask and gets in ahead with the answers. This is a well-researched, well managed exercise, taking every possibility into account. Esau is expecting Jacob behind every herd. Jacob is in last place this time, not first.
Did God command Jacob to do this? No. There is no record that this is directly commanded by God, but his plan appears to be a result of having been with God in prayer.
“Jacob gave the same instructions to the second and third herdsmen and to all who followed behind the herds: “You must say the same thing to Esau when you meet him” (Genesis 32:19 NLT). The message will be repeated a number of times.
“And be sure to say, ‘Look, your servant Jacob is right behind us.’” Jacob thought, “I will try to APPEASE him by sending gifts ahead of me. When I see him in person, perhaps he will be friendly to me” (Genesis 32:20 NLT).
This is not a deceptive strategy, but very straightforward, open and honest.
Yes, it is true that Jacob is trying to appease Esau. Apparently the word “Appease” means “to pacify, to make an atonement, to make reconciliation”. Literally “to cover his face” and it has the idea that Esau can no longer see Jacob’s shame.
He offers a gift to make atonement and recompense for a rift in a relationship. Some have said that this implies that Jacob makes peace with God by reconciling with Esau.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:22-24 (NLT) “… if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
It has taken twenty years. He didn’t exactly go straight away, but at least Jacob is doing something now.
The stress of conflict can easily consume us and have an impact on all our relationships. What can Jacob teach us about this?
12. MINIMISE THE STRESS OF CONFLICT ON OTHERS
“So the gifts were sent on ahead, while Jacob himself spent that night in the camp. During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them” (Genesis 32:21-22 NLT).
People are more important than profit. Family is more important than our personal battles. Sending his family over the brook in the cover of darkness, Jacob hopes they will be safe. “After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions” (Genesis 32:23 NLT).
Possessions are less important than protecting people you love.
Jacob remains in camp. He is not a coward. He is not retreating. His servants are still moving forward with his gifts to Esau. He is not returning the birthright or blessing with these gifts, but making restitution for the sinful way in which they were obtained. He is not negating his birthright or blessing by his offering, but proving that God has indeed blessed him and he is able to give to Esau of the proceeds by way of reparation. Sooner or later they will meet.
Now Jacob is left alone. He has prayed, offered to make restitution, so now what could go wrong?
13. BE WILLING TO FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN
“This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break” (Genesis 32:24 NLT).
So it’s come to this. A fight behind the back shed. Hopefully for you it won’t come to a literal fight! But Jacob is assaulted by someone waiting in the dark. So who is this man? Why does he want to wrestle with Jacob? Is this one of Esau’s Assassins trying to kill Jacob? No.
A troll-like guardian of the river? (Let’s not get ridiculous). This would freak me out. Is this a dream? This is just not acceptable for a diplomat – rolling around on the ground fighting with an unknown assailant. He wanted to be alone and now there’s no-one to help him.
Where are the angels when you need them?
When he first arrived he had seen the angels. They seem to be up in the stands unseen now but viewing the spiritual battle that is about to take place.
The opponent is stated to be a man? Why he gets into a wrestling match, we don’t know. Jacob has always gained victory in his life through deceit. Now he is humbled by honest contest.
Jacob is no spring chicken. He’s 97 years old. The adrenalin that rushed through his body because of this sudden assault enables him to hold his own. He’s a wiry old man.
What happens when you fight for what you believe in and it doesn’t all go as you expected?
Jacob is preparing to come face to face with Esau. As if that is not stressful enough, along the way, Jacob faces an unknown assailant? Sometimes we will need to expect the unexpected. And it may be painful.
14. UNDERSTAND THAT CONFLICTS CAN BE PAINFUL
“When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket” (Genesis 32:25 NLT).
So this is quite a violent thing to do. It must be painful to have your hip wrenched out of its socket. If this unknown assailant could do that, He could obviously finish Jacob off.
All his battles and lies have only ended up with him being expelled from the very land that God had promised to him in order to escape Esau. He has spent most of his life wrestling with people; with Esau, his mother and father, Laban, his own wives. Jacob is at the end of his resources in every way.
This time his struggle must be with the only one who can truly give him the blessing. Jacob is beginning to realise that the real battle for the promises of God is not with Esau but with this unnamed aggressor.
A.W. Tozer apparently said, “The Lord cannot fully bless a man until He has first conquered him."
Still hanging on to this man and unwilling to let him go, Jacob realises that somehow God is in this fight and this is the greatest conflict of his life. No matter what, he knows that it is too soon to give up.
15. HOLD ON. IT IS WORTH IT IN THE END.
“But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me”” (Genesis 32:26 NLT).
Jacob still wouldn’t let the man go. Even after his hip is dislocated, Jacob still holds on and of all things asks the man for a blessing.
Now this gives us a hint at who the man must be. He has to be someone more powerful than Jacob if Jacob asks him for a blessing. Jacob must have come to recognise who he is wrestling with. But still we are not told until later.
His assailant is definitely not Esau. Esau had no blessing to bestow on Jacob. It had already been obtained, so this is not Esau or one of his assassins.
Am I willing to hold on, even when things are painful and difficult and overwhelming in the conflict? Am I willing to insist on finding a blessing that will redeem all that I have lost in the battle? When life strikes a blow that crushes me, am I willing to hold on?
Jacob has been involved in the greatest conflict of all? How do I find blessing from battle? What does all this mean?
Jacob is preparing to come face to face with Esau but along the way, Jacob faces an unknown assailant who fights with him until dawn? Jacob wouldn’t let the man go. Even after his hip is dislocated, Jacob still holds on and, of all things, asks the man for a blessing
What sort of blessing is he after? We don’t know.
16. BE WILLING TO CHANGE
“What is your name?” the man asked. He replied, “Jacob.” “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won” (Genesis 32:27-28 NLT).
So this verse finally tells us who it is who has been wrestling with Jacob, and I am surprised that it is God. God in human form is always astonishing, and this is one of the strangest examples of a Theophany in history.
“What is your name?” God asks. Jacob had to admit that he was Jacob, meaning the supplanter, the deceiver. Years ago, when his father had asked him “Who are you, my son?” Jacob had lied and told him that he was Esau in order to receive the blessing. Now he admits that he is Jacob and receives the blessing that God always intended. He comes before God with honest intention and his name is changed.
This was not a dream because Jacob came away with a physical injury; a limp for the rest of his life, and a name change that established his faith and authority. We are not told directly, but it is inferred that God changed Jacob’s name because Jacob means deceiver, supplanter and Israel means One who has struggled with God and man. Change of name, change of spiritual authority.
Am I prepared to allow God to confront my past in order to move on into the future with His purposes for my life? Wrestling with God will change me forever.
17. ACCEPT THAT NOT ALL QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED
Why would God attack Jacob? We are not told. How does Jacob start to win? We don’t know. Why would God dislocate Jacob’s hip? Does God inflict harm on his servants? This may have been a spiritual struggle but it resulted in a physical injury delivered by God with a striking blow of violence. Why did Jacob ask God for a blessing after being injured? The writer is obviously not interested in answering my questions.
Lord, You do some strange things sometimes. Wrenching a socket out from Jacob’s thigh is not exactly what Jacob would have expected that night. It was certainly not what I expected You would do, especially since he is about to face Esau’s army of 400 men. If he wasn’t humbled before, he is now?
Lord, aren’t You the One who heals us, not cripples us? Yet the Hebrew word נגע naga apparently means an aggressive “strike” designed to harm. The blow that came from Your hand was so violent and disabling. How do I come to a place of blessing when there is so much pain?
Jacob wouldn’t let the man go. Even after his hip is dislocated, Jacob still holds on and asks God for a blessing
How do I come to a place of finding the right outcome when I am experiencing the stress of pain?
18. BE PERSISTENT IN FINDING THE RIGHT OUTCOME
Jacob was persistent in pursuing the blessing.
“Please tell me Your Name,” Jacob said. “Why do you want to know My Name?” the man replied. Then He blessed Jacob there” (Genesis 32:29 NLT).
Jacob has been wrestling with God, and now, in pain, he seems unsure.
It is unnecessary for God to reciprocate with a specific name. What is important is that Jacob responds to Him in faith. Faith doesn’t always give us all the information we want but it enables us trust in God.
It is extremely important that Jacob is subservient to the man who gave him the blessing. So God blesses Jacob in that place. He is both injured and blessed. A most curious thing for God to do. Nobody walks away from a fight with God without a limp; humbled in some way.
What specific kind of blessing is it? It isn’t healing. Perhaps just further reassurance of the promises God had given to him already. Kind of putting God’s stamp of approval on the whole thing with a blow that almost crushed him.
Now he still has to meet Esau and his army of 400 men but it seems to me that after you have fought with God and received a blessing, then 400 men don’t seem as big a problem anymore. What happens with Esau? There’s more of this story to come.
Let me ask you “Have you ever had a similar experience to Jacob?”
Have there been times when you have struggled with God? Perhaps struggled with your belief in Him, or struggled in prayer with Him. It’s worth the struggle because when we struggle with God, we may go through a bit of pain along the way but eventually, if we persist, we will receive God’s blessing.
Don’t give up on the struggle. Don’t give up because you go through painful times that humble you into the place of complete trust. Hold on to God until the blessing comes. It will demand faith and maybe painful. But it’s worth it when we understand that there is a bigger picture. What is that picture?
God appears in human form. He strikes Jacob, as well as blessing him, so that he limps forever after. Jacob recognises this “man” as one who could bless him, and as God. He holds onto God until the blessing comes. It demands faith. But I also need to …
19. REALISE THAT THERE MAY BE BIGGER ISSUES AT STAKE
Jacob could never have known but the blessing he received reached down through the ages and was realised in its fullness through what Christ accomplished for us on the Cross.
So often we have to wrestle with God before we can face up to our circumstances. Our struggles spiritually determine our struggles naturally. Jacob’s struggle was spiritual and natural. And much bigger issues were at stake.
How is it that God becomes a man and struggles with Jacob? We could equally ask, “How does God become a man in the form of Jesus?” We don’t know specific answers but marvel at the miracle we receive by faith.
When God became a man, in the form of Jesus, He struggled with our sin and won the victory. When God became a man and struggles with Jacob, He allowed Jacob the opportunity to win a blessing while barely able to walk away at all. This was a worship experience like nothing experienced before but Jacob must be wondering, “What now, Lord?” How can I meet Esau in this broken state?
20. USE YOUR PREPARATION IN MOVING FORWARD
“Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!” (Genesis 32:26 NLT). Why is this wrestling champion concerned about the sun rising? He’s not afraid to be seen in the light, is He? Hardly. 1 John 1:5 (NLT) says “God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all.”
But Jacob refuses to let him go. Does He want to go before the dawn because He wants anonymity? Too late. Jacob knows that He is God and quite capable of releasing Himself from Jacob’s grip. More likely it is something a lot simpler. God wants Jacob to get on with his meeting with Esau. It was important that Jacob meet up with his wives and children and continue on their way to fulfil God’s promises.
Many suggest that since this figure is God Himself, a Theophany, then He wants to use night to veil His appearance to protect Jacob from dying in His presence? Moses had a similar experience.
Moses in Exodus 33:18-23 (NLT) says to God,
“Then show me Your glorious presence.” The Lord replied, “I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will call out My name, Yahweh, before you. For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose. BUT YOU MAY NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT MY FACE, FOR NO ONE MAY SEE ME AND LIVE.” The Lord continued, “Look, stand near Me on this rock. As My glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove My hand and let you see Me from behind. But My face will not be seen.”
Sometimes our real conflict is not the natural one but the spiritual one that wages war on our souls. Jacob has been wrestling with God? Have you? Are you prepared to keep moving forward with the changes God has made in your life? How can you do this?
Such experiences along the way are significant. How can I keep moving forward with what I have learned?
21. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SETBACKS AND THE SUCCESSES
“Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “face of God”), for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.”
“The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip.” (Genesis 32:29,30 NLT).
Like Paul, Jacob became strong only when he became weak (2 Corinthians 12:1-10).
As Jacob, he had deceived his father into giving him the blessing. In this fight he sought the blessing of God. Perhaps spiritual warfare is sometimes struggling with God for a blessing. As Israel; “One who struggled with God”, he will enter the land and into the promises of God as a man with authority and faith, but not without struggle and a limp.
The faith journey is not always easy. I acknowledge the setbacks and blessings. Both are lifechanging experiences that God will use for the journey ahead.
Later, Hosea 12:3-5 (NLT) recalls this event by saying, “Even in the womb, Jacob struggled with his brother; when he became a man, he even fought with God. Yes, he wrestled with the angel and won. He wept and pleaded for a blessing from Him. There at Bethel he met God face to face, and God spoke to him— the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, the Lord is His name!”
In Exodus 33:11 (NLT), “Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend” and miracles resulted from his relationship. Gideon had an experience of meeting God face to face and did not die. Daniel, Paul and John had first hand, face to face encounters with God.
Genesis 32:32 says “(Even today the people of Israel don’t eat the tendon near the hip socket because of what happened that night when the man strained the tendon of Jacob’s hip.)”
Nice touch to end the chapter.
Never the same again, Jacob had a new blessing, a new limp, and a new name. He was spared, delivered, saved, rescued, redeemed. His very survival recognises the grace of God.
Jacob has faced the greatest conflict of them all. He has come face to face with God. He is yet to come face to face with Esau and his army. He has survived his encounter with God with a dislocated hip. What will his encounter with Esau bring?
Genesis 33:1 (NLT) “Then Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming with his 400 men.” What happens next?
“Then Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming with his 400 men” (Genesis 33:1 NLT).
This is a showdown. The gunfight at OK Coral. Jacob has seen a host of angelic warriors and then he has seen God face to face, and but now he must come face to face with Esau. This is tense and who knows, He may be soon see God face to face again, depending on the outcome.
One way or another Esau is looking forward to a reunion with his brother, either for vengeance or reconciliation. Ringing in Jacob’s ears is a threat from 20 years earlier by Esau who wanted him dead.
So Jacob doesn’t immediately think that Esau is coming with 400 men to have a party and celebrate their reunion. Would you?
He has prepared well for this standoff, but still, it must have felt like he was bringing a knife to a gunfight. He could do with a bit of angelic assistance right now (Genesis 32:1-2) but he wasn’t about to procrastinate any longer in meeting Esau (Genesis 32:3).
Crafted with respect and humility (Genesis 32:4 NLT), Jacob’s message to Esau had focused on a friendly outcome (Genesis 32:5,6 NLT). He had mastered his emotions (Genesis 32:7 NLT) but this would still be a standoff.
Having a personal relationship with God means that you are open to the impossible, which is why he is choosing not to run. Instead he shows care for all those who were with him (Genesis 32:7-8 NLT); people are always more important than the conflict.
Talking to the only One he could really trust, he prays up a storm (Genesis 32:9 NLT). Prayer is always a good strategy in times of conflict. In prayer he reminds God of His past faithfulness but in doing so reminds Himself of a bigger picture (Genesis 32:9 NLT). When all we can see are the difficult circumstances, we miss out on seeing God’s purposes. Jacob is real with God, admitting he is not perfect (Genesis 32:10 NLT). Recognising that we have a responsibility in owning our part in the conflict will always test faith and character.
He is specific in his prayer, outlining what he desires to take place (Genesis 32:11-12 NLT). And then, after prayer he seems to get further revelation. He makes it easy for Esau to come to the table by giving a peace offering rather than give him an itchy trigger finger (Genesis 32:13 NLT) by reaching for his gun. It’s always good to find a way to avoid triggering further conflict. Taking every possibility into account, Jacob anticipates Esau’s questions (Genesis 32:17-20 NLT).
He realises that the stress of conflict can have a big impact on family (Genesis 32:21-23 NLT) and so Jacob seeks to minimise this as much as possible. Family is more important than our personal battles.
Inward battles of character and faith are worth fighting. Jacob will face off with Esau because he is willing to stand for what he believes in (Genesis 32:24 NLT). But he wrestles with God first and discovers that if he is willing to hold on, there will be pain as well as blessing. (Genesis 32:25,26 NLT). Even when things are painful and difficult and overwhelming in the conflict, it’s always too soon to give up. When life strikes a blow that crushes me, am I willing to hold on?
Am I prepared to allow God to confront my past in order to move on into the future with His purposes for my life? Wrestling with God will change me forever as it did with Jacob (Genesis 32:27-28 NLT).
Not all of my questions will be answered but if I am persistent in finding the right outcome, there will be breakthrough and blessing (Genesis 32:29 NLT). Don’t give up on the struggle. Don’t give up because you go through painful times that humble you into the place of complete trust. Hold on to God until the blessing comes. It will demand faith. But it’s worth it.
So often we have to wrestle with God before we can face up to our circumstances. Our struggles spiritually determine our struggles naturally. And much bigger issues are at stake.
I can use my circumstances to move forward (Genesis 32:26 NLT). Are you prepared to keep moving forward with the changes God has made in your life?
The faith journey is not always easy. Like Jacob all I can do is acknowledge the setbacks and expect the blessings. Both are life-changing experiences that God will use for the journey ahead (Genesis 32:29,30 NLT).
When I have done all that there is to do, what next?
23. LEAD THE WAY (Genesis 33:3).
Lead by example with courage and humility.
“So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and his two servant wives. He put the servant wives and their children at the front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last …
Then Jacob went on ahead.” (Genesis 33:1-3 NLT). What happens as Jacob meets Esau?
Jacob is leading the way concerning this potentially volatile situation with his brother Esau. What happens next is all part of the puzzle of this remarkable story.
“So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and his two servant wives. He put the servant wives and their children at the front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last” (Genesis 33:2 NLT).
Jacob puts those he loves most at the back, so if they have to run, then they’ll have a better chance, perhaps.
I am amazed at how many commentators say Jacob goes back to scheming at this point. He’s not simply going to offer those he loves to front up with Esau first! He has to put his wives and children somewhere. The Bible tells us where. Does that mean he is scheming and not trusting in God? Give him a break. He has more obvious flaws than this.
24. REMAIN OBJECTIVE (Genesis 33:3).
It’s not scheming that is the problem here. It is favouritism. Jacob has a favourite wife and a favourite son. It is fairly obvious to everyone that he is distancing the most loved from danger.
Later, Joseph’s brothers show their dislike for this favouritism and Jacob once more will learn the hard way. He is preparing the ground for a day of discontent. Showing favouritism and a lack of objectivity will inevitably lead to further conflict.
That changes nothing of the fact that Jacob has come a long way concerning his faith. He is going to go meet Esau and 400 men. That’s not exactly lack of faith. He has obeyed God, and has prepared well to get this far.
25. RESPECT YOUR RIVAL
“Then Jacob went on ahead. As he approached his brother, he bowed to the ground seven times before him” (Genesis 33:3 NLT).
I like this. Jacob doesn’t try to hide behind his family. He goes on ahead of them to meet Esau and his 400.
Why does he bow down seven times? Is this extreme respect? Custom? This is ancient protocol for meeting a king. Jacob, God’s diplomat, bows down. Apart from showing cultural respect for Esau whose territory he was entering, it is almost worship. I’m sure that as Jacob bowed, he was madly praying that God would stop Esau from killing him. Perhaps it was God he was connecting himself with. Stay with this thought until later because I believe here, we have a hint at what Jacob has probably been doing all along.
Nevertheless it is confusing. According to the prophetic blessing, Esau, the elder, was meant to serve Jacob, the younger. (Genesis 27:29). His time has obviously not yet come.
Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT) adds some light by saying, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
26. MAKE CHOICES TOWARDS RECONCILIATION
“Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.”
Hate had obviously dissipated in Esau through the years. The fight with God the previous night was the only fight that Jacob would face that day. It seems it became a substitute for the fight he expected with Esau. Both men have changed.
So here is a culmination unexpected to say the least. Jacob bows in respect rather than deceitful arrogance and Esau embraces him with love rather than expected anger.
What a relief. This story shows that bitterness and feelings of revenge are a choice, not a given. Forgiveness and reconciliation, integrity and generosity are also choices we can make.
No doubt commentators will read this as a sign of weakness in both men. Some, like the famous reformist, John Calvin, suggest that God has forced Esau to be kind towards Jacob, but it is not necessary to take away mans will for Esau to respond well to Jacob. A change has taken place in Esau. Even without faith Esau’s anger had time to dissipate over the years. He is ready to move on.
But it is what is said next that gives us a further hint as to what Jacob has been doing with this encounter all along. What is it?
What a relief. Jacob reunites with Esau without bloodshed. This story shows that bitterness and feelings of revenge are a choice, not a given. Forgiveness and reconciliation, integrity and generosity are also choices we can make.
“Then Esau looked at the women and children and asked, “Who are these people with you?”
“These are the children God has graciously given to me, your servant,” Jacob replied.” Jacob is keen to say that it is God who has blessed him. Maybe he’s also making it clear, “Keep your hands off, Esau!” only in a more subtle way.
The whole family bows before Esau to show their respect. This isn’t saying, “Esau, we are all coming under your authority”, just simply acknowledging, “we are coming into your territory.”
27. ENSURE THAT AN AGREEMENT IS REACHED
“And what were all the flocks and herds I met as I came?” Esau asked. Jacob replied, “They are a gift, my lord, to ensure your friendship” (Genesis 33:8 NLT).
Jacob makes it quite clear that he is not coming in any way as an act of aggression as he meets Esau. This time he’s not offering a pot of stew. These animals are a means of restitution for his deceit in the past. This is a tangible way to make amends. But there is something else implied that is another hint at what Jacob has been doing.
“My brother, I have plenty,” Esau answered. “Keep what you have for yourself” (Genesis 33:9 NLT). The fact that Esau has 400 men indicates that he has made a life for himself already, perhaps as a mercenary. He obviously has plenty. But Jacob needs some indication from Esau that he has abandoned his claim to his Father’s blessing.
It is important to Jacob that he shows a gesture of reconciliation, not merely mouth the words.
“But Jacob insisted, “No, if I have found favour with you, please accept this gift from me. And what a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God!” (Genesis 33:10 NLT).
Strange thing to say.
Instead of struggling with Esau, Jacob struggled with God. The struggle with God meant a hip wrenched from its socket, but he did receive God’s blessing.
But why does he describe his meeting with Esau as seeing the face of God? Perhaps he sees it as a blessing. Perhaps the blessing God gave had a specific clause that Esau would not annihilate him and his family. His smile was the face of God in terms of answered prayer. His fight with God substituted for his expected fight with Esau. Perhaps this is the blessing God gave to Jacob.
But I like what the Life Essentials Study Bible says. It suggests that the animals that Jacob gave to Esau amounted to a 10th of all he had, thus being an offering to God and this is why he said “seeing your face is like seeing the face of God.” “Though it cannot be proven from this text, it would not be surprising if Jacob’s herd totaled 5,500 animals and the 550 he gave Esau represented 10 percent of his total assets, fulfilling his vow (Genesis 28:22).”
I really like this thought. He’s not setting Esau up as God, but fulfilling his vow to God to give a tenth of all he had. He did this by giving this offering of restitution for the blessing stolen from Esau. Perhaps this was the reason he gave his promise back in Genesis 28. Perhaps he always intended his tenth to be given to God in this way.
“Please take this gift I have brought you, for God has been very gracious to me. I have more than enough.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau finally accepted the gift” (Genesis 33:11 NLT).
Esau can see that God has blessed Jacob, so he accepts the gift.
Pastor Warren Wiersbe says “He was made a prince, but he was acting like a pauper” but this seems an unnecessary assumption. No pauper is able to offer such a generous gift. And if anything, God humbled Jacob, not exalted him, in his encounter. Jacob experienced a blessing with a limp, not a crown with a title.
In accepting the gift, the rift between Esau and Jacob is requited. Esau doesn’t say, “I demand my birthright and blessing back” but submits to Jacob’s favour as restitution for the deceptive manner of their taking, in kind.
Living as an alien to God’s promises for over 20 years, Jacob was abused for his labour but also enriched. And he enters the land God promises, injured and blessed.
There is nothing automatic about the blessing of God to Jacob. He didn’t simply inherit it from his father and he certainly didn’t achieve it through deceit. It could only enter his life through consent and grace. There is always a risk when You struggle with God. It is the greatest conflict you will ever face.
Years later, Jesus, descended from the line of Jacob, and faced the greatest conflict ever faced by anyone, as He died on a Cross for our sin. The Cross is a crutch for those who realise that they walk with a limp. It is the reconciling plus sign for the human race. We need faith in Christ to take the journey God intends us to travel. It takes us into the promises of God for our lives.
Post Script: God is not yet through with Jacob. This is a stepping stone to an ongoing journey in receiving all that God has promised, not just a happy ending to a feel-good movie. As we have seen in Jacob’s past, he has a tendency to make short-term choices which cause long-term pain, but through obedience he has arrived in the promised land. But he hasn’t completely arrived in terms of obedience, as he is yet to discover. (But that it for another time).
Pastor Ross
