Introduction:
A. Today, we are returning to our series called: “Speak Life – Speaking Words that Heal, not Hurt.”
1. The Bible tells us that words have the power of life and death.
2. God’s desire is for all of us to learn how to control our tongues so that our words bring life.
3. So far in our series, we have explored: The truth about lying; the malignant talk of gossip and slander; the ego talk of boasting, flattery and exaggeration; corrosive talk, which has to do with speaking words of complaining and criticizing; and in the last sermon in our series we talked about expletives deleted – lifting our speech out of the gutter.
4. We all know and understand how our tongues can cause much trouble and do much damage.
B. I can attest to the fact that my tract record with my own tongue has its share of dumb and damaging moments.
1. I remember arriving at church one day during my ministry in El Dorado, Ark. many years ago.
a. I walked into the kitchen and saw my friend standing there with an unusual expression on his face.
b. Not thinking…(that’s a key)…I said, “What’s with the funny expression on your face?”
c. He said, “I have Bells Palsy and half of my face is temporarily paralyzed.”
d. I felt terrible for his condition and that he had to put up with insensitive people like me!
2. I also remember a time when I was guest preaching at a church in California.
a. I arrived early and one of the first men I met was a super friendly man.
b. He said, “My name is Bob, but I spell my name different from other Bobs.”
c. Without thinking, I quickly blurted out, “Do you spell your name with two ‘O’s?”
d. Dejectedly, he said, “No, I spell my name backwards” and he walked away.
e. When I think about it now, I feel terrible, but at the time I mostly felt proud of my quick wit – how foolish I can be!
C. During this series, we have been learning to avoid the many ways our tongues can get us into trouble!
1. I have encouraged us to do what my mother told me a million times: “THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!”
2. One of our best strategies should be what James, the brother of Jesus suggested, “Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19)
3. Someone once wisely said, “A closed mouth gathers no foot.”
D. Today, I would like to turn our attention toward the good use of our tongue.
1. Up to this point in our SPEAK LIFE series, we have focused on eliminating damaging and destructive speech, which is really important for us to do.
2. Unfortunately, the wrong use of our tongues can undo any good things we do with our tongue, so eliminating the negative is critical.
3. Over half of the battle is won if we just eliminate the inappropriate, but that’s not enough.
4. To have healthy, positive relationships, we must communicate good words.
a. Imagine a relationship with someone where you never said anything inappropriate, but you also never said anything appropriate. In other words you never said anything at all!
b. It wouldn’t be much of a relationship, would it?
c. Therefore, we must develop the ability to speak appropriately to others - we need to learn to use our tongues for good.
5. This verse from Proverbs has undergirded this entire sermon series: The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Pr. 18:21)
6. Because I believe what the Bible says about the tongue having the power of life, I titled this sermon “Good Words Equal Good Life.”
7. I believe that if we learn to use our tongues for good, it will bless our lives and all of our relationships in amazing ways.
8. So let’s spend the rest of our sermon time this morning thinking about how to use our tongues to speak life which will result in blessings for us and for others.
I. Speaking Life in Our Relationship with God
A. Just think about how many important ways we can use our tongue and our words in our relationship with God.
1. Our tongues and words are useful at every stage of our relationship with God – the beginning of our relationship, the building of our relationship, the sustaining of our relationship, and the restoring of our relationship with God when necessary.
B. Let’s begin with the “Confession of our Faith” - We know from our study of Scripture that the confession of our faith in Jesus is important to the beginning of our relationship with God.
1. Jesus said, “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.” (Mt. 10:32)
2. The apostle Paul reminded Timothy to: “Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” (1 Tim. 6:12b)
3. Paul reminded the Romans about the importance of their confession of faith, when he wrote: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. (Rom. 10:9-10)
4. So, one of the very best ways we can use our tongue and our words for good is when we use them to make the initial profession of our faith at the time of our baptism.
C. A second good use of our tongue in our relationship with God is through “Song and Prayer.”
1. Once we have begun our relationship with God, we can continue to build and sustain that relationship by using our tongue in song and prayer.
2. As we use our tongues in song and prayer, we can express words of adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication.
3. There is an acronym called A.C.T.S. that helps us remember those important areas of expression – adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication.
4. Interestingly enough, all the things we are commanded to express to God in song and prayer are for our own good, not for God’s good.
5. First, Adoration - God doesn’t need our praises, but we need to praise Him in order for us to keep clearly in our minds how good and great is our God.
a. I like Psalm 104:33, it says, “I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.”
b. And Psalm 22:22 says, “I will declare your name to my brothers; in the congregation I will praise you.”
c. Praise and adoration are good words and are a good use of our tongues.
6. Second, Confession - God doesn’t need our confession to know that we have done something wrong, but God knows that we need to acknowledge what we have done and to express our sorrow over our sin.
a. In Psalm 32, David wrote: When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD” - and you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Ps. 32:3-5)
b. David also wrote: I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin. (Ps. 38:18)
c. John reminds us of this wonderful promise: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 Jn. 1:9)
d. We have all likely experienced the relief of confessing our sins to God and feeling the relief of knowing that they have been forgiven.
e. So, confession is so important in our relationship with God.
7. Third, Thanksgiving - Likewise, God doesn’t need our expressions of appreciation, but we need to express our gratitude.
a. When we express our thanksgiving, we are reminded of what we have and what our God has done for us.
b. Psalm 118:1 says: Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
c. In Col. 3:16, Paul wrote: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
d. Psalm 100:4 reminds us to: Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
e. With regard to the use of our tongues, Paul wrote: Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Eph. 5:4)
f. With regard to prayer, Paul wrote: I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone…(1 Tim. 2:1).
g. Someone said, “Gratitude is the least of virtues, but ingratitude is the worst of vices.” (Thomas Fuller)
h. Gratitude is so good for our relationship with God, and ingratitude is so damaging to that relationship!
i. And it is so good for us to be thankful every day, not just on Thanksgiving Day!
8. Finally, Supplication (requests) - in our relationship with God, we can use our tongues to express our needs.
a. Just like with all other communication with God, He doesn’t need it, and He already knows about it, but God wants us to say it anyway, because we need to say it for ourselves.
b. We need to lay our requests before God to be reminded of where everything comes from, and to be reminded that God is in control, and that He will give us what is best.
c. By laying our requests before our God, we can experience peace.
d. Paul wrote: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phil. 4:6-7)
D. I hope all of us are beginning to grasp how our tongues and words can be used for so much good in our relationship with God.
II. Speaking Life in Our Relationships with Family and Friends
A. One of my favorite verses on the subject of the words we use with family and friends is Ephesians 4:29, where Paul wrote: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
1. What do we learn from that simple verse?
2. We learn that unwholesome words tear people down and leave them less than whole, but wholesome talk builds them up.
3. This is the meaning of edification.
a. It’s the same word from which we get “edifice” or “building.”
4. The Bible tells us that people are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and that we have the privilege of either building up God’s living cathedrals or we tear them down.
5. That’s powerful imagery, isn’t it?
a. And it applies to everyone in our lives – everyone is made in God’s image and is God’s special creation.
b. That is true of the overbearing boss or teacher, the rude flight attendant, or the stressed-out family member.
c. All of these people have potential to be all that God wants them to be, and we have the power to build them up or bring them down.
6. Let’s make a commitment to not allow ANY unwholesome talk to come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.
B. First, we can speak life into our relationships by speaking: “Loving and Positive Words” - Let’s make a commitment to speak words that are loving and positive.
1. What are some of the most important words and phrases that we should regularly say to our spouses and children, our parents and siblings, and our friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ?
2. “I love you” – I don’t think we can say that too often or in too many ways.
3. “I appreciate you” and “I appreciate what you do for me” and a simple “thank you” – expressions of appreciation and gratitude are so important and powerful.
4. “I believe in you” and “You can do it” or “I am behind you and will support you” – these words inspire confidence and courage.
5. “I am sorry, please forgive me” – The ability to acknowledge our wrongs and to be proactive in healing the relationship is so needed.
6. “You may be right” – Neither of us is always going to be right, and we might often disagree, but that’s okay.
7. “How can I help you?” or “Is there anything I can do for you?” are words of service and show that I care about what you need or what you are trying to do.
8. Another important thing to learn to say is: “What do you think?” or “What is your opinion?”
9. I could probably go on forever with possibilities, but let me give us one more thing to communicate: “I am proud of you” – this is especially important for our children to hear from us.
10. And so, we all need love poured into us – we need to be valued and inspired by positive words – that is wholesome talk, indeed!
C. Second, we can speak life into our relationships by speaking: “Encouraging Words” - Let’s talk about encouragement for a minute.
1. The Bible tells us: But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Heb. 3:13)
2. But what is encouragement?
a. Is it complementing their haircut or telling them how good their homemade salsa tastes?
b. That kind of encouragement is important, but the encouragement the Scriptures refer to is explicitly spiritual encouragement.
3. Spiritual encouragement is shared in the hopes that it will lift someone’s heart toward God.
a. Spiritual encouragement may seek to point out evidences of grace in another’s life to help them see that God is using them.
b. Or spiritual encouragement may point a person to God’s promises that assures them that all they face is under His control.
c. The New Testament reveals that encouragement was a regular part of the early church’s life together as they tried to spur one another on in faith, hope, unity, strength, faithfulness, perseverance, and the certainty of Christ’s return.
4. Encouragement is a wonderful and important use of our tongues.
D. Third, we can speak life into our relationships by speaking: “Comforting Words” – this is an excellent use of our tongues.
1. In 2 Cor. 1:3-4, Paul wrote: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
2. How wonderful and helpful it is to receive God’s comfort through others and then to pass that comfort on to others when they need it.
3. We have personally been so blessed when others have comforted us through their words, calls and cards, then we have tried to pass that comfort on to others in their time of need.
4. Sharing comfort is a great use of our tongues and words!
E. Fourth, we can speak life into our relationships by speaking: “Evangelizing Words” - we can use our tongues to share the good news of Jesus with our family and friends.
1. We can use our tongues to share the greatest story ever told – the story of God’s love.
2. We can use our tongues to share the testimony of God’s good work in our lives.
3. We can use our tongues to share the many lessons God has taught us from His word.
4. Let me encourage each of us to ask ourselves: which of my family or friends needs me to share with them more about the Gospel, about my testimony, or about other truths in God’s word?
5. Speaking those kinds of words is one of the best uses of our tongues.
F. Finally, we can speak life into our relationships by speaking: “Correcting and Warning Words” - appropriate speech is truthful speech, but it isn’t always positive.
1. The Bible tells us to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15)
2. An important use of our tongue also includes correcting and warning others.
3. This is certainly true of parents with their children, and friends with their friends, but also members of God’s family.
4. Why would any of us remain silent if we see our child, friend, or church member heading into danger or into God’s judgment?
5. The apostle Paul had to confront the apostle Peter about some things in Gal. 2:11-14.
6. When the apostle Paul had to correct the Corinthians about some things, he wrote: I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children. (1 Cor. 4:14)
7. When Paul wrote to the Thessalonians he encouraged them to minister to each other, saying: And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone…but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. (1 Thess. 5:14-15)
8. Correcting and warning others are some of the more challenging uses of our tongues, and when we have to do it, we must be sure to do it as lovingly and as gently as possible.
Conclusion:
A. Praise God for all of these positive and powerful uses of our tongues!
1. With God’s help, our tongues can speak life into our relationships with God and with family and friends.
2. And with God’s help, we can use our tongues and our words to change our world.
B. Allow me to end with this positive example of someone using good words to make a better world.
1. Ken Blanchart and Barbara Glands did some training with three thousand front-line workers at grocery stores and retail outlets across the country.
2. They talked about the power of words and how “what you say” really does make a difference in people’s lives.
3. Little did they know, but one of the persons in the audience at the training was a 19 year old guy named Johnny, who has Down Syndrome and works as a bagger at a grocery store.
a. Johnny says, “I went back to the store and I didn’t know how to apply their statements. I liked their talk but I didn’t know what to do with it. I went home and talked with my dad and got an idea. My dad and I sat down at the computer and every day we come up with a statement that is affirming of people, that’s encouraging. We type it up six different times on the computer. I print off fifty sheets and cut all of them up.”
b. So every night, Johnny personally signs each one of the 300 little strips of paper.
c. Then the next day at the grocery store he puts this stack right by where he bags the groceries.
d. When he gets a person’s groceries bagged up, he puts the quote of the day, the encouraging word, in the sack.
e. Then Johnny makes sure he looks them in the eye and says, “I put something very special for you in this sack. I hope it will brighten your day.”
f. Johnny has done this every single day since that seminar.
4. Barbara Glands, the trainer, said after about a month she got a phone call from the manager of that grocery store.
a. He said, “Barbara I can’t believe it. Something really amazing is beginning to happen. I was walking around the store and I noticed while we had lots of checkers at the checkout lines and each one only had maybe one or two people, but the line where Johnny was doing bagging went all the way back to the frozen food section.”
b. The manager said, “I would tell them over the intercom that there were other lines you could move over to. We would walk down the line and tell people there were other lines open. People would just look at us and say, ‘No, we’ll wait because we want Johnny’s encouraging word for the day.’ ”
c. One woman said to the manager, “I used to only come to the grocery store once a week or once every other week. Now I come by almost every day. I buy something just so I can get Johnny’s encouraging word for the day.”
5. A month later, the store manager called Barbara a second time and said, “It’s changing our entire culture of our store. Even in the floral department, when a flower was broken they used to just throw it away. Now they walk out into the lines, on their own initiative, they pin it onto elderly women or young girls. They brighten their day.”
6. There are a lot of people at that grocery store, but, as it turns out, the most influencial person is Johnny, the bagger of groceries. Why?
a. Because Johnny is speaking words of life and those words of life are changing his world.
b. If it can happen at a grocery store it can happen in your life and in mine.
c. Good Words do equal good life – let’s give it a try!
Resources:
Story about Johnny by Ken Blanchart and Barbara Glands, Text Illustration shared by Guy Mcgraw, SermonCentral.com
