How to Deal With Accusations and Criticism - Deut 19:17-20
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, Who is the leader and the Source of our Faith and also its finisher (bringing our faith to maturity and perfection). He for the joy (Of obtaining the prize) that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Heb. 12:2)
Illustration:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Harrison’s Postulate.
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
Disraeli.
Illustration:A young boy complained to his father that most of the church hymns were boring to him--too far behind the times, tiresome tunes and meaningless words. His father put an end to his son’s complaints by saying, "If you think you can write better hymns, then why don’t you?" The boy went to his room and wrote his first hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross." The year was 1690, the teenager was Isaac Watts. "Joy to the World" is also among the almost 350 hymns written by him.
Source Unknown.
Most carnal people would think twice about jumping on the bandwagon of accusations if they read Deuteronomy 19:17-20 that says, "The two men involved in a dispute must stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and judges. The judges must make a thorough investigation and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against his brother, then do to him as he intended to do to his brother. You must purge the evil from among you. The rest of the people will hear of this and be afraid and never again will such an evil thing be done among you." You might enjoy comparing and contrasting the ways that are often used by the members of the reactionary religious right to control people with the use of fear, guilt and shame.
Illustrations;
Heaven is close enough for souls in torment to glimpse; far enough away for them to forever miss what could have been theirs.
Based on Luke 16:19-31
John Tillotson said, "He who provides for this life, but does not take care for eternity, is wise for a moment, but a fool forever."
“We are too busy making money, paying our bills, trying to scramble to the top of the heap, and facing life’s challenges in general… Our attention is fastened almost solely upon this world, and we give scarcely a thought to the next.”
On one occasion Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, the agnostic lecturer of the last century, was announced to give an address on hell. He declared he would prove conclusively that hell was a wild dream of some scheming theologians who invented it to terrify credulous people. As he was launching into his subject, a half-drunken man arose in the audience and exclaimed, "Make it strong, Bob. There’s a lot of us poor fellows depending on you. If you are wrong, we are all lost. So be sure you prove it clear and plain."
No amount of reasoning can nullify God’s sure Word. He has spoken as plainly of a hell for the finally impenitent as of a heaven for those who are saved.
But there’s another side. G.K. Chesterton once remarked, "Hell is God’s great compliment to the reality of human freedom and the dignity of human personality." Hell, a compliment? Yes, because God is saying to us, "You are significant. I take you seriously. Choose to reject me -- choose hell if you will. I will let you go."
The vague and tenuous hope that God is too kind to punish the ungodly has become a deadly opiate for the consciences of millions.
If you in any way abate the doctrine of hell, it will abate your zeal.
The safest road to hell is the gradual one--the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. C.S. Lewis.
No one who is ever in hell will be able to say to God, "You put me here," and no one who is in heaven will ever be able to say, "I put myself here."
Cable television’s Ted Turner, who has condemned abortion foes as "bozos" who "look like idiots," recently lashed out at Christianity. "Christianity is a religion of losers," Turner told the Dallas Morning News. Referring to Christ’s death on the cross, Turner said, "I don’t want anybody to die for me. I’ve had a few drinks and a few girlfriends, and if that’s gonna put me in hell, then so be it." Turner also told a group of broadcasters, "Your delegates to the United Nations are not as important as the people [broadcasters] in this room. We are the ones who determine what the people’s attitudes are. It’s in our hands."
TYPES OF SHAME USED AS CONTROLLING MECHANISMS BY THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT
USING AN INDIVIDUAL’S USING PUBLIC SENSE OF GUILT SHAME
1. Innocent Shame - Indicates that one is without guilt , crime or known sin
- Shame felt when one’s character is slandered without justification
Illustration:Fault finding is not difficult. Isaac Murray illustrates this in his story on how a dog hitched to a lawn mower stopped pulling to bark at a passerby. The boy who was guiding the mower said, "Don’t mind the dog, he is just barking for an excuse to rest. It is easier to bark than to pull the mower."
Isaac Murray.
2. Guilty Shame - Feelings of culpability for an alleged offense
- Shame felt before others when one violates an ethical norm
ILlustration:A survey asked mothers to keep track of how many times they made negative, compared with positive, comments to their children. They admitted that they criticized ten times for every time they said something favorable. A three-year survey in one city’s schools found that the teachers were 75% negative. The study indicated that it takes four positive statements from a teacher to offset the effects of one negative statement to a child.
Institute of Family Relations, in Homemade, Vol. 10, No. 12, December. 1986.
3. Social Shame - Feelings of social estrangement or a loss of mutual affection, belonging or acceptance from one’s social circles
Illustration:The story is told of a judge who had been frequently ridiculed by a conceited lawyer. When asked by a friend why he didn’t rebuke his assailant, he replied, "In our town lives a widow who has a dog. And whenever the moon shines, it goes outside and barks all night." Having said that, the magistrate shifted the conversation to another subject. Finally someone asked, "But Judge, what about the dog and the moon?" "Oh," he replied, "the moon went on shining--that’s all."
Source Unknown.
- Embarrassment felt when one makes a social blunder or error according to a culturally perceived norm
4. Familial Shame - Feeling of distress or humiliation according to one’s family norms
- Feeling of disgrace because of the behavior of one’s nuclear or extended family
Illustration:PPM is a technique for discussing or criticizing ideas. The basic rule: You must state two plus points before you can state a minus. This counteracts negativism by forcing you to focus on the positive side on an idea first. In group situations, PPM encourages shy people to offer their ideas without being afraid of a barrage of criticism.
Eric M. Bienstock in Homemade, November 1985.
5. Handicap Shame - Feelings of humiliation due to a perceived physical, social, or psychological disadvantage
6.Public humiliation or embarrassment due to a physical or mental or social imperfection that is related to a spiritual cause
Illustration:If you are a Christian, you can expect folks to criticize, but you ought to live so nobody will believe them.
7. Discrimination Shame - Feelings of inferiority over an alleged distinction from a prejudiced viewpoint of the majority
- Downgrading of persons treated as one who is mentally, socially, culturally, religiously, positional, educationally, politically, historically, ethnically, or spiritually inferior
8. Modesty Shame - Feelings of conditioned moderation in dress, speech, or actions.
- One is challenged to maintain a diffident conduct and an aversion to certain social, religious, or behavioral taboos
Illustration:He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
A. Lincoln.
9. Inadequacy Shame - Feelings of incompleteness, deficiency, or unsatisfactory performance
Feelings of insufficiency based on the standards of the person’s adopted group norms, values, and beliefs. Rebukes may come in the form of blaming for inferiority, complacency, or repeated failures to measure up
Illustration:You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.
Booker T. Washington.
10. Public Shame - Feelings generated from the use of people’s overt or covert attempts to bring ridicule.
- Open ridicule and rebukes from the community as punishment for an alleged wrongdoing. May resort in fines, alienation or public censorship.
Illustration; Grant me prudently to avoid him that flatters me, and to endure patiently him that contradicts me.
Thomas `a Kempis.
Illustration: As much as 77% of everything we think is negative and counterproductive and works against us. People who grow up in an average household hear "No" or are told what they can’t do more than 148,000 times by the time they reach age 18. Result: Unintentional negative programming.
Shad Helmstetter in Homemade, January 1987.
11. Anticipated Shame - To deal with a person before the proper time that guilt has been established
- The fear of public exposure by one’s peers in a way expected according to past precedents
12. The more preferred approach - Religious Shame - Feelings of remorse based upon inner spiritual values, beliefs and convictions
- Public ridicule based upon conditioned understandings of God, His church and His commandments
Illustration: A young musician’s concert was poorly received by the critics. The famous Finnish composer Jean Sibelius consoled him by patting him on the shoulder and saying, ’Remember, son, there is no city in the world where they have a statue to a critic.’
Haddon Robinson.
(Adapted from Lowell Noble, Naked and Not Ashamed: Anthropological, Biblical, and Psychological Study of Shame, Jackson Miss. Jackson Printing Co. 1975:4-6)
