Introduction:
A. Today, we are beginning a new sermon series that I am calling: “Speak Life – Speaking Words that Heal, Not Hurt.”
1. If your tongue has ever gotten you into trouble, then please raise your hand.
2. Now turn to the person next to you and say, “I’m not surprised!”
3. We are not surprised, because it happens to all of us.
4. All of us have had the experience of saying something, and then wishing we had not said it!
B. I heard the story of a man who worked at a produce department of a grocery store.
1. A woman came up and asked if she could buy half a head of lettuce.
2. It had been one of those days, and before he could think he replied, “Half a head? Are you serious? God grows these in whole heads and that’s how we sell them!”
3. The lady responded, “You mean that after all the years I have shopped here, you won’t sell me half-a-head of lettuce?”
4. “Look,” he said, “If you like I’ll ask the manager.” She indicated that would be appreciated.
5. So, the man marched away to find the manager and when he found him said, “You won’t believe this, but there’s a lame-brained idiot of a lady back there who wants to know if she can buy half-a-head of lettuce.”
6. As he was saying that, he noticed that the manager was trying to subtly stop his outburst.
7. The crazed worker turned around to see the lady standing behind him. Unbeknown to him, she had followed him as he searched for the manager.
8. But without skipping a beat, the worker said to the manager, “And this nice lady was wondering if she could buy the other half of the head of lettuce.”
9. Later in the day the manager cornered the young man and said, “That was the finest example of thinking on your feet I’ve ever seen! Where did you learn that skill?”
10. The worker replied, “I grew up in Grand Rapids, and if you know anything about Grand Rapids, you know that it’s known for to things: its great hockey teams and its ugly women…”
11. But before the worker could proceed with his explanation the manager interrupted him, “My wife is from Grand Rapids!”
12. The worker quickly asked, “And which hockey team did she play for?”
C. Oh, how our tongues can get us into trouble!
1. If my mother said it once, she said it a thousand times, “THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!”
2. Every day, you and I speak thousands of words, between 25,000 and 40,000.
3. That is a lot of opportunity for us to say the wrong thing.
D. Communication is the process of expressing how we feel and what we think.
1. On the one hand, the words we use can confuse, embarrass and hurt.
a. On the other hand, the words we use have the power to heal and help, encourage and teach.
2. On one occasion, a well-known sportswriter was analyzing a “fine” that had been levied on a famous baseball manager for verbally chewing out the baseball commissioner.
a. The sportswriter defended the manager saying, “After all, they were just words!”
3. Just words? There is no such thing, as just words…words are powerful.
a. Saying they were “just words” is like saying “it was just and atom bomb!”
4. The old saying we used to tell kids was: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”
a. But the truth is: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can break my heart.”
E. Our words have such power and carry so much weight, and that’s why the Bible gives us so much guidance and so many warnings about communication.
1. Consider for a moment how many times the Bible uses the words: Tongue, talk, speech, speak, lips, mouth, and words.
a. The word “tongue” appears almost 150 times in the Bible. The words “talk, talking, and talker” appear 125 times.
b. The word “speech” is used 40 times, and the words “speak and speaking” 480 times.
c. The word “lips” is used 125 times, and “mouth” is used 322 times.
d. And finally, the word “words” is used over 1000 times in the Bible.
e. When you add them up, we see that the Bible mentions communication over 2500 times.
2. So with the subject of our communication being addressed so often in the Bible, we can expect some powerful and helpful commands and warnings. Here are a few of my favorites:
a. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Pr. 18:21)
b. He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. (Pr. 21:23)
c. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Pr. 10:19)
d. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. (Pr. 17:28)
e. A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Pr. 25:11)
3. Those are some simple, but powerful truths about learning to wisely control our tongue.
a. Those would be great verses to commit to memory!
F. When James, the brother of Jesus, wrote his letter, he pointed out how central the tongue is to our overall lives.
1. James wrote: If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)
a. Wow! That passage hits us like a two by four!
b. If you and I are serious about walking with God, and serving God, then priority number one must be speaking life – speaking words that heal, not hurt!
c. James says, that if we don’t properly use our tongue, then our religion is worthless!
d. That is a strong statement! James is trying to drive home how serious this matter is.
e. James wants us to understand just how destructive and nullifying the tongue can be.
f. The negative influence of the tongue can undo and override an otherwise godly life.
2. On a more positive note, James wrote: We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. (James 3:2)
a. That is equally a strong statement! James is trying to drive home how central the tongue is to everything else in our lives.
b. If we can master the use of the tongue, then we can master everything else!
c. But lest we think that will be an easy undertaking, James goes on to describe why taming the tongue is so challenging.
3. So, let’s spend a few minutes considering the points James makes in James 3 about the tongue, and that will help us understand the challenge we face in taming it.
G. First, James says that the TONGUE IS SMALL, BUT POWERFUL.
1. James perfectly illustrates his point with three common realities.
2. First, he reminds us of the fact that very large horses are controlled by a very small bit.
a. As you know, horses are incredibly powerful, many of them weigh about 2000 pounds.
b. Yet, even a small child can control and direct a horse by the small bit that is placed in a horses mouth and is connected to the reigns.
c. The secret of the bit is the fact that it is placed in one of the horses most sensitive places.
d. Have you ever had a small child put a finger or two in your mouth and tug? It hurts!
e. That’s the principle of the bit.
3. The second word picture that illustrates his point is that a large ship is steered by a small rudder.
a. Some of you have been in the navy, and know a lot about naval ships.
b. Some of you have been on cruise ships.
c. Some of these boats are floating cities, hundreds of feet long, thousands of tons, yet they are steered by a small rudder in comparison to their size.
4. The 3rd picture he knows we will understand is that fact that a small spark can start a large fire.
a. Fortunately, our climate is wet enough that we don’t experience too many forest fires.
b. But every year in California, and other parts of the country, we see how that hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage is done as forest fires sweep across housing developments.
c. They may start by one careless cigarette tossed out the window of a passing car, or by one strike of lightening.
d. Just like the old devotional song says…“it only takes a spark!”
5. So, what is James’ point?
a. The tongue is only a small part of the body, but it causes all kinds of trouble!
6. Pound for pound, the tongue is very small, but it is oh so powerful.
H. Second, James says that the TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLY DANGEROUS.
1. Again, James returns to the illustration of fire. It only takes a small spark, but once a fire gets going it is almost impossible to stop.
2. One fire I read about in Northern California burned over 14,000 acres and took 1350 firefighters to put out the blaze.
3. James mentions the fact that we have tamed many kinds of wild animals, and we all enjoy seeing them at the circus. Whether it is the tigers, or the elephants.
4. He said, we can tame them, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
5. With that, I picture a poisonous snake on the loose.
6. The tongue is uncontrollably dangerous, it can set the whole course of a person’s life on fire.
7. It can and does destroy – reputations, families, and futures.
I. The third pronouncement that James makes about the tongue is the TONGUE IS TERRIBLY INCONSISTENT.
1. He says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (3:9-10)
2. How tragic it is that we can be using our tongue to praise God in worship, and then 10 minutes later we can be using our tongue to demoralize our child as we drive home in the car, or we can be criticizing or gossiping about someone in the congregation.
3. Our tongues are terribly inconsistent, and James declares “My brothers, this should not be!”
4. Then he asks a couple of rhetorical questions – “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?” (3:11-12)
5. Well, what’s the answer to those questions? Everyone say, “Of course not, silly!”
6. If the spring yields salt water, it will always yield salt water.
7. Apple trees don’t bear oranges, and visa versa.
8. James’ challenge for us is to be more consistent with our tongues.
9. If we are going to be God’s people then the output or the fruit of our tongues should consistently be godly and good.
J. So these are James’ pronouncement about the tongue, and I think we all would agree that our experience is consistent with his assessment.
1. First, the tongue is small, but powerful.
2. Second, the tongue is uncontrollably dangerous.
3. Third, the tongue is terribly inconsistent.
4. How should we respond to this reality? Should we give up and give into the negative power of the tongue? Of course not.
5. God wants us to learn to tame the tongue, and with his help we can.
6. Why else would he give us so many commands in other parts of the Bible about proper speech if there is not the possibility that we can learn to control our tongues?
K. So working toward having a transformed tongue must be a top priority for all of us who want to please God.
1. Unfortunately, many of us, have become insensitive to the problem of destructive speech.
2. We are like the frog in the kettle who doesn’t realize that the heat is being slowly turned up, until it is too late.
a. His nerve endings became desensitized in the heated water.
b. Like the frog, we too can numb our spiritual nerve endings.
3. By making careless and sinful communication an acceptable part of our lives, we assume that a carnal tongue is par for the spiritual course.
a. When that happens, our church, our school, our home, our workplace our friendships, and even our relationship with God will all be victimized.
b. Sins like deceit, lying and false witness need to be understood from God’s point of view.
c. Social sins of the tongue, such as gossip and slander, must be held in check.
d. Verbal ego trips, such as boasting, flattery, and exaggeration, are clearly out of bounds.
e. The cancer of murmuring, and a contentious tongue must be silenced.
f. And certainly, expletives that violate the dignity of God’s name and moral purity must be deleted.
4. In this new sermon series, I hope that a study of the truth about these specific sins of the tongue will revitalize our nerve endings.
a. Being “re-sensitized” by God’s Word will be one giant step toward a transformed tongue.
Conclusion:
A. I hope that all of us will accept the challenge of learning to speak life.
1. But you might be wondering, “How can I begin? Where do I start?”
2. As a place to begin, let me offer a few things that I find helpful.
B. First, Let’s Be Asking God for Help.
1. Prayer is always a good place to begin.
2. Let’s begin by confessing to God that we have a problem with our tongue and need His help.
3. Then, throughout the day, let’s pray for the ability to control the tongue, especially in the challenging moments of communication that we might find ourselves in.
a. Whether it is a frustrating moment with our mate or kids.
b. Whether it is a tempting moment when we might gossip or make fun of someone or put them down.
c. Whatever the moment, let’s pray before we speak.
C. A second thing I would suggest is, Let’s Be Slow to Speak.
1. A huge step in bringing the tongue under control and speaking life, is just developing the habit of slowing down our response.
a. If we can just delay or hesitate for a second, it will give us time to pray and a second to weigh our words.
b. I mentioned earlier that my mom used to tell me to “think before you speak” and another way she would put it was, “Put your brain in gear before you put your tongue in gear.”
2. Someone has developed this acrostic for the word: T-H-I-N-K. Think before you speak.
T – is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
3. I read about a woman who had a serious throat condition and the doctor said she had to rest her vocal cords for six months.
a. For six months she was forbidden to utter a single word (can you imagine how hard that would be, especially for a preacher?)
b. So for six months all her communication had to be on paper.
c. When asked what it was like to communicate only in writing, she said: “You’d be surprised how many notes I crumpled up and threw into the trash before I gave them to anyone. Seeing my words on paper had an effect on me that I do not think I will ever forget.”
d. In an age when we do a lot of communication by text or email, we need to be slow in hitting the send button and weigh our words.
D. A third thing I would suggest is to Have Heart Surgery if Necessary.
a. Jesus taught, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Mt. 12:34; 15:19)
b. If we don’t want awful stuff coming out of our mouths, then we need God’s help to get the awful stuff out of our hearts.
c. The good news is that Jesus specializes in heart transplants.
E. Finally, I would suggest that we Remember We Will Meet Our Words in the Judgment.
a. Jesus said, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Mt. 12:36-37)
F. Thank God for His grace! Amen! And thank God for His assistance in taming the tongue.
1. I pray that every one of us will learn to use our tongue for good and not evil.
2. The tongue has the power of life and death, and I pray that we will learn to only speak life.
G. Allow me to end with two stories that illustrate the difference of speaking life and death.
H. Karen Carpenter had such a beautiful, rich voice and tragically died of heart failure at the age of 32, brought on by years of fighting the eating disorder, anorexia.
1. Later, it came to light that her fatal obsession with her weight was triggered by a single reviewer’s comment.
a. Can you believe it? Someone wrote something negative about her and it killed her!
2. When referring to Karen, on one occasion, this man called her “Richard’s chubby sister.”
3. While I’m sure there were other factors contributing to Karen’s struggles, this one comment unleashed a flurry of self-doubt.
4. The tongue has the power of life and death.
I. Charles Swindoll tells the story of a man with whom he went to seminary.
1. The man had a bright red birthmark that covered half of his face.
2. After Chuck got to know him, he finally had the courage to ask him about his face, and how it was for him to go through life with that birthmark in such a prominent place.
3. His friend explained, “When I was very young, my father told me that my birthmark was the place an angel had kissed my face so that the angel could always pick me out of a crowd.”
4. Then his friend said, “You know, I grew up feeling sorry for those who didn’t have a birthmark.”
5. That man’s father had spoken words of life and those words had transformed his life.
6. The tongue has the power of life and death…I want to speak life, don’t you?
7. Together, let’s learn how to speak life – to speak words that heal, not hurt.
Resources:
Tongue in Check, Joseph Stowell, Victor Publishing, 1994, Chapter One.
Speak Life/Taming the Tongue, Sermon by Jeffrey Smead, SermonCentral.com
