Overcoming Stress
II Corinthians 4:8-9
A woman took her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor said, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious infection brought on by stress." The husband was hard of hearing said, "What did he say?" His wife answered, "He says you’re sick.” The doctor went on. "But there is hope. You just need to reduce his stress. Each morning, give him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, nice, and kind. For lunch and dinner make him his favorite meal. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. Don’t yell at him or argue with him. And most importantly, just cater to his every whim. If you can do this for your husband for the next 6 months to a year, your husband will have a complete recovery." The husband said, "What did he say?" His wife said, "He says, ‘You’re going to die!’”
Stress. It can take a toll on us physically. In 1900, the top 10 killers were infectious diseases. By the turn of the 21st century, the top 10 killers were all related to stress. There are 4 major stresses everybody faces in life: relationships, finances, work and health concerns. The fact is every person has stress in their life. I’ve got it. You’ve got it. We’ve all got it. But chronic stress can take a physical toll on us. David Stoop’s in his book, “Self Talk” says stress causes 40 million people to suffer from allergies, 30 million from sleeplessness, 25 million from hypertension and 20 million from ulcers. Are you stressed? See if any of these apply to you:
1. Decision-making is difficult (both major and minor kinds).
2. Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing about "getting away from it all."
3. Increased use of cigarettes and/or alcohol.
4. Increased use of tranquilizers and "uppers."
5. Thoughts trail off while speaking or writing.
6. Excessive worrying.
7. Sudden outbursts of anger and hostility.
8. Paranoid ideas and mistrust of friends and family.
9. Forgetfulness for appointments, deadlines, and dates.
10. Frequent spells of brooding and feelings of inadequacy.
Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy when it comes to stress. The fact is much of our stress is unnecessary. Take worry for example. Did you know that 40% of what we worry about never happens, 30% is about old decisions which can’t be changed, 23% centers on criticism made by others, and 10% are health related which only worsens our health. Only 8% of what we worry about are legitimate problems we need to deal with. And the longer we carry these worries, the greater the toll on us. Take this glass of water as an example. "How heavy is it?" Have people call out answers. Then reply, "The weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. And that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on."
How we respond to stress in our lives is not only important physically but also spiritually. It influences our relationship to God. And it literally can become part of our witness and living proof of the power of the resurrection in our life, or not. I love the story of a man being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, and so he stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by speeding through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up and saw very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car, arrested her and then placed her in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, she was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, making gestures, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ’What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ’Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!” Sometimes we’re the only Gospel someone will read. I was in the gym a few months ago and was talking to a golfing acquaintance and we got to sharing about our lives. I shared about my in laws who live with us, one of whom has stage 4 cancer and the other has dementia, a son who is struggling with deep depression and then the struggles I’ve had here at Munholland. And there was a long pause and Steve said, “Wow, you carry your struggles well. I would have never known.” And that’s when I had the opportunity to share that it was because of my faith and the power of the resurrection that I was able to weather the stress in my life.”
So how can we deal effectively with stress? People try all kinds of things to cope with stress: meditation, yoga, aerobic exercise, deep breathing, visualization, biofeedback, diet and time management. All of these are well and good and can have beneficial affects on stress but the problem is they don't get to the root causes. Stress really isn’t caused by our circumstances but rather our response to those circumstances and that’s driven by our beliefs. So the goal isn’t to change our circumstances but to change the way we perceive and respond to our circumstances through our faith. Jesus doesn’t want us to be stressed out for he said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to abundantly” John 10:10 and “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you…Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
In the book of Philippians, Paul gives us 5 keys to dealing with stress. First, change your perspective. It is so easy to get mired down in our circumstances preventing us from seeing things from God’s perspective. So make sure you're looking at the big picture. We need to remember our life is only one frame of an entire movie of history. What you and are I going through at this moment is just that, a moment in time. Phil. 3:12 says, “I have not reached my goal and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me.” The first two statements in this passage are pretty negative and sound as if Paul is down on himself until he says, “But…” Then he focuses on Christ who has taken ahold of him and now allows him to see life from an entirely different perspective. Paul says, if I look through my own eyes then I would be discouraged and frustrated but instead Christ has taken hold of me allowing me to see things from His perspective. There is a sovereign God over us and a sustaining grace beneath us. So make sure you look at your situation and circumstances from God’s perspective.
Second, slow down. Our society has continued to increase the pace of life and change. Technology was supposed to give us more leisure time. Instead, our work week has only increased over the last century to an average of 47 hours a week and now thanks to technology we’re always connected to work. We need to step off the treadmill of life which seems only to be going faster and faster and slow down making sure we have time for play, for prayer and reflection, for friendships and for rest.
Third, be thankful. Phil 4:11-12 says, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Paul wasn’t born satisfied with what he had, he had to learn to be satisfied. Sometimes it’s easy to think we live in a thankless society. People are not nearly as thankful or grateful of what they have as they should be. Steve Shepherd writes about his friend Ruben Casas, a pastor in East Los Angeles who makes $25,000 a year and that’s in CA! He said, “We drive a used car, we don’t eat out and we don't buy new clothes and we understand why.” Most of us make far more than Ruben does but he is grateful for everything he has. He says, “It’s still better than where I came from.” Most of us could say that, but we don’t. Most of us could be more thankful for what we have but we aren’t. As long as we aren’t thankful, we’ll always want more. Gratitude is the attitude that makes all the difference. It changes our relationships to God and to others. It makes us humble and keeps us from being selfish. Most of all, it makes us content.
Essentially what we are saying is that you need to retrain your mind and how you think of your life and your circumstances. The mindset that we hold is a choice we make. Paul puts it this way, “Finally, my dear friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, holy, friendly and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.” Phil. 4:8 Your attitude about your life makes all the difference. Zig Ziglar tells the story of his brother Jed. They grew up poor in MS and Jed’s mother would come into their bedroom early at 5 AM to wake them up. His job was to get the coal each morning and put it in the furnace to start a fire in the house. He hated that job. Every morning his mother would walk in and say, “Jeb, this is going to be a great day!” He’d get up, get the coal and then do his chores. But one day, his mother walked in and he just looked at her. It was cold and he was tired and said, “No mom, this is going to be an awful day. I’m tired. I’m sleepy and it’s cold and I don't want to get up!” His mother replied, “I didn't realize you thought that way. Well, OK, if that’s the way you feel. Go back to bed and sleep.” He got under the covers and thought, “Why didn't I think of this before?” He slept a couple more hours and woke up just before 9 AM, the house was warm, his mom was cooking breakfast and he said to her, “This is wonderful, I’m so hungry!” She said, “O sweetheart, you don’t get breakfast today. When I walked into your room this morning and you said it was going to be an awful day, I decided I’m going to do my best to make it an awful day.” His mother sent him back to bed and he slept for another hour but by noon he was starving and by dinner, it was the longest day of his life. That night, he couldn’t sleep and so he stayed up all night and at 5 am, he was dressed and waiting for His mom to walk in. He threw his arms around her and said, “Mom, it’s going to be a great day today!” Your attitude makes all the difference.
Fourth, serve others. Jesus “made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant…” Phil. 2:7 By focusing on others, we can relieve our stress. Psychology Today found in a study that of 1700 women who were under a great deal of stress and volunteered for a service project, 85% had their stress significantly lowered within 30 days. Why? Because they focused on someone else. Dr. Richard Carlson in his book, “Make Service an Integral Part of Your Life” writes, “I have learned that the best way to be of service is often very simple – it’s those little quiet, often unnoticed acts of kindness that I can choose on a daily basis – being supportive of a new endeavor by my spouse or simply taking the time and energy to listen. I know I have a long way to go toward my goal of becoming a more selfless person. However, I also know that as I have attempted to integrate service into my life, I have felt better and better about the way I choose to live. There is an ancient saying, ‘Giving is its own reward.’ It’s really true. When you give, you also receive. In fact, what you receive is directly proportional to what you give. As you give more freely of yourself in your own unique ways, you will experience more feelings of peace than you ever thought possible. Everybody wins, especially you.”
Fifth, give it over to God. Phil. 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” When you and I are under a great deal of stress, we need to spend time with God. That’s what Jesus did the night before he was crucified. He went to the Garden of Gethsemane loaded down with stress and prayed. That was where the battle was won. You may have thought it was on Golgotha and the cross. It wasn’t. For it was in the Garden that He made his decision to die for you than to live without you. It’s through prayer that “Christ gives us strength to face anything.” Phil. 4:13 So bring your burdens, your worries and your stress and give it all over to him. Remember Jesus’ invitation: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In these words, Jesus is saying that when you and I try to handle stress on our own, the burden becomes too heavy to bare. Two business executives met for lunch. Gene asks, “How’s your health?” Ed said, "I feel great! My ulcers are gone. And I don’t have a care in the world!" Gene says, "How did that happen?" Ed said, "Well, you know my doctor told me my ulcers were caused from the stress of worrying. So, I hired myself a professional worrier. Whenever something worrisome comes up, I turn it over to him, and he does all my worrying for me!" Gene says, "Wow, I’d like to hire someone like that! How much does he charge?" Ed says "$100,000!" Gene asked, "How in the world can you afford $100,000?" Ed says, "I don’t know. I let him worry about that!" You have someone who can carry that burden for you. His name is Jesus and nothing, absolutely nothing is too much for Him. Thanks be to God! Amen.
