Summary: In Ecc. 4:9-12 Solomon talks about the benefits of relationships. He gives reasons why two are better than one. No matter what kind of relationship you have: church, family, friends or romantic, there’s great value where two or more are gathered.

STREGNTH IN NUMBERS

Ecc. 4:9-12

INTRODUCTION: A few weeks ago I did a sermon called Helping Hands which highlighted the importance of the church working together. In Ecc. 4 Solomon talks about the benefits of relationships. So, no matter what kind of relationship you have, whether it’s a church community, family or friends there’s great value where two or more are gathered.

Ecc. 4:9-12, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Solomon lists the advantages of community and working together. The Talmud says, "A man without a companion is like a left hand without the right.” Can a person function without two hands? Yes, but it’s a lot more difficult. In these verses I see both a literal and a spiritual application. In these verses we answer the question-how is two better than one?

1) More gets accomplished (9).

Solomon is highlighting that when two people work together they accomplish more than if there was only one. However, although it’s true that many hands make light work, you also have to consider the adage-too many cooks spoil the stew. The principle there is that you can’t have everyone wanting to be in control and have their way; it won’t work. Two are better than one when they work together; when they’re in harmony. When they do, they will get a good return for their work; they will accomplish a lot.

In a spiritual sense you think of the benefit of two people working together to spread the gospel. When Jesus sent out his disciples he sent them out in teams of two. You see this dynamic later as well-you had Paul and Barnabas or Paul and Silas. African proverb: “If you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, go together.”

One of the benefits of going out in pairs is for training purposes. If one is more seasoned then the other one the newer Christian sees how to correctly approach a person and they will see what kinds of questions will be asked by both the Christian and the non-Christian.

And then you have the “two heads are better than one” reality. When you talk or counsel or study with people and there are two or more people there more can get accomplished because you have different perspectives and insights into a situation. One person might think of a bible verse that applies that you weren’t thinking of and in all this the person being talked to comes away from the meeting more blessed.

When you look at the dynamic a small group bible study you have different people giving their answers to questions or their thoughts on a certain passage of scripture and with that you get to see all the different ways one can be impacted by God and his word and you understand the value in it and you walk away with more knowledge and insight than you would have if you were studying it on your own.

2) You receive help and support (10a).

Here Solomon is highlighting the benefit of having a friend or companion as opposed to being alone. When we’re facing a difficult situation we need each other for support and advice. When we’ve had a bad day it’s nice to have someone to vent to.

Calvin and Hobbs cartoon: Calvin got dressed in his special clothes for school. When he got to school he sat down on some bubble gum. At recess he got beat up by a bully. He failed his math test and on the way home he got rained on. At bedtime he says, “You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.” Your lucky underwear might not be able to help you, but a trusted companion or friend can.

When we’re down we need to be cheered up. When we’re persecuted we need to know there’s someone there to share the burden with us. Gal. 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Two are better than one because a shared burden becomes a lifted one. While breaking baseball’s "color barrier," Jackie Robinson faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. His own fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop "Pee Wee" Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.

And it’s not all support and encouragement. Two are better than one because being part of a friendship gives us people to rejoice with. When we receive a blessing or hear good news it’s more exciting when we have someone to share that with. Being a part of a loving friendship gives us a sense of enjoyment that doesn’t happen when we’re alone. Mark Twain said; "to get the full value out of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." There’s great value in plurality.

People are typically desirous of interaction with other people. Everywhere you look, there are signs that people are hungering for some type of fellowship. Every week this sweet little old lady waited in line at the post office to buy two stamps. One day, as she got to the counter, the postal worker told her, “You know, you don’t have to wait in line to buy stamps. You can get them from the machine over there in books of twenty.” The little old lady responded, “Yes, I know, but the machine doesn’t ask about my arthritis.”

People long to be connected with other people. It even goes beyond people. People who live alone have the TV on so it doesn’t sound like they’re alone. People have pets as companions. It starts when we’re kids-whether it’s a stuffed animal (like Hobbes for Calvin) or even an imaginary friend. In the movie Cast Away Tom Hanks had Wilson. It all supports the idea what we’re hard-wired for interacting with someone else.

I don’t believe God created us to function as separate individuals. After he created Adam he said in Gen. 2:18, “it is not good for man to be alone”. When God was going through the process of creating, each time he finished with something he would say it was good…and it was. But here we have the first occurrence of God calling something not good. Not that God didn’t know that already; it’s there for our benefit-to understand that we need each other. God created Eve to help Adam. And I don’t think it was just to procreate or share the work. She was going to be able to help Adam in all the ways a typical loving couple help each other. God created a sense of community in us.

3) What a pity (10b).

Solomon says pity the man who has no one to help him up. But there are people who say they prefer to be alone; they don’t want to have any friends. I believe there can be different reasons for this: one is a sense of pride-I don’t want to answer to anyone; I want to do things my way. Perhaps it’s selfishness-I don’t want to share with anyone.

But then there’s a lack of trust-people have let me down; people have betrayed me and since I feel the only person I can trust is myself-I guess I’ll go it alone.

Perhaps it’s because you once were close to certain people and now they’re gone. So, because of the pain you developed a defense mechanism-I don’t want to get close to anyone and I don’t want anyone to get close to me. And in order to become comfortable with your decision you justify and glamorize it by putting a label on yourself like lone wolf or freebird.

You could probably relate to the Paul Simon song, "I Am a Rock": I’ve built walls, a fortress deep and mighty; that none may penetrate, I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain. I am a rock; I am an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.” You might share the sentiment of these lyrics but I believe, deep down in the heart of every loner is the desire for companionship (even Simon had Garfunkle).

You might be somewhat comfortable in being alone but it’s still not healthy. Henry Cloud in How People Grow writes, "Virtually every emotional and psychological problem, from addictions to depression, has alienation or emotional isolation at its core or close to it. Recovery from these problems involves helping people get more connected to each other at deeper and healthier levels than they are.” We need each other; whether we want to admit it or not.

4) We can stay warm (11).

Although this is true in a literal sense, this also has a spiritual application. A friend can help us stay spiritually warm ie: on fire for the Lord. Here we’re talking about encouragement and accountability. It’s motivating when there’s someone there encouraging you, pushing you, sharpening you.

Prov. 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron so does one man sharpen another." two are better than one because it keeps us sharp. A dull knife is not a useful knife. Henry Ford said, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." The best kind of friends to have are the ones who challenge, rebuke, inspire and motivate us to bring out the best and to be the best follower of Christ we can be.

We can easily lose our focus when we are by ourselves. We can easily become demotivated and talk ourselves out of doing what we should do. That’s why Satan loves to pull us away and get us alone. Isolation is a favored tool of his. He wants to get us away from the fire so we can become cold. Just like a burning ember that’s separated from the fire will grow cold so will we. However, when a cold ember gets put back into the fire and comes in contact with the other embers it heats up again. When we come back into the fellowship and get around hot Christians again we’ll get all fired-up. And we need to stay close so we can stay warm.

5) Strength in numbers (12).

Solomon goes from one to three. By myself I can be overpowered by Satan. But when I incorporate Christ I can overpower him. However, when I add a third that’s even better still. A cord of me, Jesus and another believer is very hard to break. Not that Jesus and me is not sufficient but how much easier is it to overcome the enemy when we have someone to reach out to when we’re struggling?

Through his lies and temptations Satan tries to destroy us. Generally we’re at our weakest point when we’re alone. There’s no one watching, we’re alone with our thoughts, whatever. But, when we have someone there with us or we call someone up we take advantage of the opportunity of strength in numbers and overpower the enemy forces.

In one of Aesop’s fables he describes an old man who had several sons, who were always having a falling out with one another. He had often, but to no avail, exhorted them to live together in harmony. One day he called them together, and he gathered a bundle of sticks and tied them together and asked each one of them to try to break them. Each one tried as hard as they cold but none of them could break the bundle of sticks. Then the father cut the cord that he tied them together with and told his sons to break them separately. This was done with the greatest ease. “See, my sons, the power of unity! Bound together by brotherly love, you may defy almost every mortal danger, but divided, you will fall prey to your enemies. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

No matter what kind of relationship you’re talking about: friends, family, romantic, when Jesus is there you have a bond that is very hard to break; and dare I say won’t break if each are in unison with Christ who is the glue that holds the cord together.

6) Two are better than one.

Friendships-they’re pretty valuable. One of the most popular shows ever was “Friends”. I think one of the things that made it so appealing was the dynamic of the friendships of the six main characters.

David and Jonathan had a special friendship. 1st Samuel 18:1 says that “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” David trusted Jonathan, and Jonathan was humble in accepting God’s calling of David as the next king instead of himself. Also, we see Jonathan siding with David (God, really) instead of his own father, King Saul. Jonathan warned David when his father plotted to kill him. Jonathan stood up for David to his father. David and Jonathan were true friends to each other.

Many of the people who came to see Jesus were brought by a friend. In the gospel of John you’ll read about how when Andrew was introduced to Jesus he went and told his brother Peter. When it happened to Philip he went and told Nathanael. It can set up a nice trail of people. Many of the people here today because someone invited you to come. Tammy and Ro came to church through Belinda. Belinda came to church through Patti. Patti came to church through Fee. Fee came to church through meeting me and John. Isn’t that great?! And that’s just one of many examples here at Cornerstone. Because one invited one that one turns into more. And what’s so cool about this is that it causes multiplication. Just like the old commercial goes-I told two people and they told two people and so on and so on and so on. And the more there are the more that can get accomplished. The value of relationships. Strength in numbers. Two are better than one.

Stu Weber writes of his experience at US Army Ranger training school. They were running in full field uniform. Loaded packs, Helmets, Boots, and Rifles. The works. 70 pounds. As usual, the word was “You go out together, you stick together, and you come home together.”

Miles they ran, then more miles. Over hills, through brush and pine. Somewhere along the way, through a fog of pain, thirst and fatigue, Weber realized something was wrong. Two rows ahead, one of the guys was out of sync. A big, redhead named Sanderson. His legs were pumping, but he was out of step with the rest. Then his head began to roll from side to side. The guy was close to losing it.

Without missing a step, the Ranger on Sanderson’s right reached over and took the man’s rifle. Now one of the Rangers was packing two weapons, his own and Sanderson’s. The big redhead did better for a while. The platoon kept moving. But then his head began to sway again. This time the Ranger on the left reached over, removed Sanderson’s helmet, tucked it under his own arm, and continued to run.

All systems go. Boots thudded along the trail. Sanderson was hurting. He was buckling, going down. But, two soldiers behind him lifted the pack off his back, each taking a shoulder strap in his free hand. Sanderson gathered his strength, squared his shoulders. And the platoon continued on, all the way to the finish line. They left together, they worked together and they finished together. Strength in numbers.