WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
3 JOHN 1:1-14
#mefirst
THREAD: WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
READ 3 John 1:1-14
“The elder, To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. 2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth. 9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. 10 So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. 11 Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone-- and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true. 13 I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. 14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.”
ME FIRST IN KINDERGARTEN (p)
It was her first day of kindergarten. Little Suzie Fizzlewhistle had waited not so patiently all morning while her parents got ready to take her to school. First they needed coffee. Then the dog needed to be walked. Then they had to eat. Who needs to eat when there is kindergarten to get to! Then they needed another cup of coffee for some reason. Adults must need coffee in the morning to walk out of the house. Then they got up her brother. They needed to forget about him and focus on getting her to school. She had already dressed herself and gotten ready for school and got her stuffed animals ready for school by the time it said 6-0-0 on the clock.
Finally everyone got in the car. And she did want everyone. Her parents wanted to leave all her stuffed animals at home, but she cried until she got her way. She often cried until she got what she wanted. All of her stuffed animals were in the seat next to her on the ride to the school and were buckled in safe. She arrived. For some reason, all the parents were crying like babies and the kids were acting all growd-up. Little Suzie Fizzlewhistle had been ready for school since forever.
The day did not disappoint. There was finger painting. She made sure she was first in line to get paints. There were goldfish for snacks which were her all time favorite. The teacher asked if anyone wanted seconds and she elbowed some boy out of the way to get some and was first in line. There was even a for real goldfish as a class pet on the teacher’s desk that during the middle of the day decided for some reason to sleep belly up. There were songs. She liked their songs, but when it came to a few songs she didn’t know, she sang whatever song she wanted no matter what anyone else was singing. There were rules, but those didn’t really apply to her. She was special. Her mother told her so.
A loud bell buzzed out over the whole school. It was lunch time. All the kids stood up and grouped at the door. Out came Little Suzie Fizzlewhistle with her bright pink sparkly lunchbox and shoved one girl out of the way. She shouldered some boy. She pushed her way all the way to the front and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Me first!
THREAD: WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
THE MESSAGE OF 3 JOHN
Third John, like 2nd John, is neither a large book nor a complicated book. It only has 14 verses. Unlike 2nd John, this letter is more of a personal letter written to a believer named Gaius. It is personal and it is official at the same time as it deals with some issues that Gaius is dealing with in his church community. The letter centers on a man named Diotrephes who is causing problems in the church family that Gaius is a part of.
The problem seems to center around some traveling evangelists that John sent their way. Apparently, John has written previously and asked that the church support them and take them in to their homes for a time and help them along their way. This did not happen. Diotrephes made sure it didn’t happen. It would seem that Diotrephes opposed everything the Apostle John was trying to do, spoke falsely about John and the teachers, and did not let them participate in church activities. It even says that Diotrephes barred people from being part of the community if they wanted to associate with John and these travelling teachers. This is not a good situation. There is division in the church. It is a situation that John hopes to address face-to-face and with his own words if and when he is able to visit them.
Why is Diotrephes doing this? Why is he opposing John? Why is he being inhospitable? Why is he breaking friendships? Why is he barring folks from the church? The Apostle John writes in verse 9 that Diotrephes “loves to be first” and this is the source of the issues within the church family.
ME FIRST ON THE SPORTS FIELD (p)
Connor Fizzlewhistle was excited for his first day of football practice. His first day of high school had gone fine, but it was the football practice after school that had his mind occupied. He was only a freshman, but his parents had told him he was good enough for the Varsity team. He deserved to be on the Varsity team.
Connor walked out onto the practice field and smelled the grass. He felt the heat on his face. He wore the most expensive cleats money could buy because he wanted them. He had a headband and sweatband combo that was sure to make the cheerleaders look at him. He had his eye on a couple. Wink. Wink. He even made his mother buy him fancy receiver gloves from the NFL store. They were bright orange and the brightest item on the field.
After they had stretched and done some drills, they were playing a scrimmage. The coach was watching. They got into a huddle. Before anyone else spoke Connor said to the quarterback, “Hey throw it to me first. I want to show what I can do.” The play happened and Connor did not get the ball. There had been another play and the quarterback had not thrown him a pass. Two plays and he hadn’t gotten the ball. Connor Fizzlewhistle got angry. They got in a huddle. Connor said to the quarterback, “Why aren’t you throwing it to me? Throw it to me next time.” The designed play went off and Connor did not get the ball. They got in a huddle. Connor said to the quarterback, “Why aren’t you throwing it to me? Throw it to me next time. I want to show what I can do.” The designed play went off and Connor sensed that he was not going to get the ball. He broke from his receiver route the play called for and he intercepted the ball from his own teammate and ran for a touchdown. He celebrated. He danced his pre-practiced touchdown moves. He turned around and everyone was standing still on the field and looking at him.
The coach was shaking his head as he came up to him. “What were you thinking?” the coach asked in a bewildered tone, “You intercepted the ball from your own teammate?”
Connor looked at the coach and said, “He should have thrown it to me first.”
THREAD: WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
THE “LOVE OF BEING FIRST”
The book of 3 John centers on Diotrephes who is described by the Apostle John as someone who “loves to be first.” What does that mean? The behavior that John describes leads me to think that Diotrephes was dealing with selfishness which was ruling his life and it was ruining his witness and his church family.
“Selfishness” is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. Selfishness is self-centeredness.
ILLUSTRATION... brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/selfishness.html
Oscar Wilde said, “Selfishness is not living as we wish to live, it is asking others to live as we wish to live.”
Alveda King said, “Abortion and racism are both symptoms of a fundamental human error. The error is thinking that when someone stands in the way of our wants, we can justify getting that person out of our lives. Abortion and racism stem from the same poisonous root, selfishness.”
ILLUSTRATION… goodreads.com/quotes/tag/selfishness
Daniel Goleman said, “Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large.”
The Bible speaks about selfishness always in a negative light and commands us to pursue selflessness, humbleness, and to love others before ourselves. The Bible teaches us that selfishness is the opposite of what God teaches in His statutes. It teaches us that selfishness is unfriendly. Selfishness centers on the gain only for self. Selfishness leads to hypocrisy. Selfishness leads to wrath and anger. Selfishness leads to chaos and disorder in our lives and well as other evil habits. Where does it say those things? I am glad you asked!
* Psalm 119:36, “Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.”
* Proverbs 18:1, “An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.”
* Matthew 23:25, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”
* Romans 2:8 “But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.”
* Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
* James 3:16, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Any person can deal with selfishness. Selfishness is not a habit or temptation for only one type of person or for one particular type of personality. A rich person can be selfish as well as a poor person. A man as well as a woman can be selfish. The young and the old and everyone in between. Selfishness attacks the believer in Jesus and someone who cares nothing for God. Selfishness is part of the sinful nature that makes up each and every person.
ME FIRST IN THE CAR LINE (p)
Becky Fizzlewhistle had one of those days. It was a very emotional day. Her oldest had gone to high school for the first time as a freshman. Her youngest had gone to kindergarten for the first time. Oh a day of firsts. She felt emotional. She felt stressed.
Becky had occupied her time by doing her errands. At the local grocery store, she got what she needed for the annual back-to-school dinner. She had lots of things in her cart, but she was in a hurry, so she went in the express lane even though she had way more items than the sign said. The clerk said nothing. The long line of people behind her just glowered. Whatever.
The rest of her important errands were all successful and then it was time to pick up her precious daughter from her first day in kindergarten. She got to the school and the line was stretched out around the school. So many cars waiting. They moved one inch. Then another inch. Then another inch. She was not going to wait. She gunned the gas of her GMC Yukon Denali extended full-sized SUV and went up over the curb and into the front yard of the school. She thought about parking in the front yard, but instead resolved herself to get where she was going. She drove through the yard and went down over the next curb into the lane right in front of the school. She laid on the horn and inched her way into the line.
People were yelling and honking! Teachers were on radios. Kids of all ages were pointing. Once in the line, she parked. The car in front of her moved, but she got out instead getting her beautiful daughter. The rest of the people would have to wait. She went to the door and there was her daughter. “Ma’am,” a teacher called out, “you need to wait in line! There are others!” Becky Fizzlewhistle just ignored all the protests as she drove away.
THREAD: WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
THE SELFISHNESS CHECKLIST
The truth about selfishness is that we often do not see it in ourselves because that is the nature of selfishness. It is kind of like not being able to smell your own body odor. It is there, but undetectable by you. Others might see selfishness in us, but we see nothing wrong with our words, our attitude, our perspective, or our way of acting in a relationship. We are selfish and we don’t see it.
Here are some questions you can honestly ask to see if selfishness is ruling in your life. You can ask them of yourself, but it might be better to go over these types of questions with someone you love and trust. These questions may reveal where you are being selfish and hurting yourself and others:
Am I at war with someone in my life?
Do I find myself often getting into arguments or fights with people?
Am I repaying evil for evil in my life?
Am I willing to share or give what is mine?
Has someone actually said to me recently, ‘you are being selfish?’
Are the messages I put on the back of the communication cards at church all about me?
Do I think some people are less important than me?
Have I decided that making peace with that person is not worth it?
Do I complain at church that the music is not to my liking?
Do I find myself only talking about myself when speaking with others?
Do I serve anywhere in the church?
Are you angry about some program at the church therefore you withhold your tithe or stop coming?
Do I spend my time the way I want and how I want?
ME FIRST AT THE CHURCH (p)
The Fizzlewhistle family was on their way to church a few days later. It was Sunday morning and as usual Joe was driving. What a great first week of school it had been! The family was talking all about their classes and teachers and expectations for the year as they drove down the road. The family SUV passed the church. They had left a few minutes early and Joe went through the drive thru and got himself coffee. He did not offer or order anyone else anything. It took the one-eyed one-armed one-legged fast-food worker half a minute longer than it should have to get his order and he yelled at her for wasting his time and making him late for church. They drove on down the street.
“Hey,” Suzie cried out, “we passed the church!”
“Oh we don’t go to that church anymore,” Becky said to her daughter.
“Why not?” Suzie asked.
“Well,” said Joe, “we just don’t feel like we are being fed at that church. We go every week and it doesn’t always apply to us. The sermon should always apply to us and when it does, it shouldn’t make us change too much. Just change the little things. We want somewhere that always feeds us. It is all about us you know.”
“Plus,” Becky said, “they always want us to serve or join a group. We just want to go and sit. We want to check the boxes and have people leave us alone. They just won’t leave us alone to do what we want when we want. Plus, the minister read a passage from the Bible the other Sunday that homosexuality was a sin. That is so offensive.”
At this point Connor chimed in, “Plus the youth minister never does what I want. Plus, the soda machine is always out of the kind of soda I want and no matter how rude I am to him it never gets better. I want a youth group that does what I want. And to top it all off, he picked someone else to lead youth group in a couple weeks and it wasn’t me. I wanted to be the leader.”
Joe also added, “We noticed that they are trying new songs. We don’t like that. We don’t like the music so we don’t want to go to the church. It just doesn’t do it for us. Last week they even used upbeat videos of Christian songs we hear on the radio at the beginning of the service and we didn’t like it. So we are leaving.”
“And sweetie,” her mother added also, “they expect us to give a tithe. That is our money and for some reason they keep saying the Bible says we should give 10% back to God. That is our money. Your dad works very hard for our money and we do with it as we please.”
“I am so glad,” Little Suzie Fizzlewhistle chimed in, “they don’t even have goldfish for snacks. They better have them at the next place.”
THREAD: WE LOVE TO BE FIRST
IF YOU LOVE BEING FIRST, IT IS TIME TO LOVE SOMETHING ELSE MORE.
