ENGAGE
Imagine with me a courtroom in which a defendant stands accused. The prosecutor goes at that defendant with everything he’s got. He paints the man as a treasonous liar who is intent on destroying societal values and stirring up trouble. His arguments are heated, vindictive and malicious and are intended to bring the jury to the point of anger and aggravation so that they will find the man guilty and call for his punishment. So far that’s not anything different than most of us have seen on any television crime drama.
But this defendant doesn’t respond the way we would expect. He says nothing. His defense team offers no rebuttal nor does it try to justify his actions or proclaim his innocence. He merely absorbs all the insults and indignities being thrown at him without any attempt whatsoever to address his accusers. And when he is sentenced and the sentence is about to be carried out, instead of responding with hatred or seeking revenge, he merely says, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
TENSION
Could you do that if you were in that position? My guess is that most of us have a hard time doing that when the stakes are not nearly as high, when the things we have been accused of, true or not, don’t rise nearly to that level. When we’re attacked by others our natural response is to respond in kind and seek revenge on the one attacking us. Only a supernatural work of God in our lives can enable us to love others like Jesus does – with a love that is not irritable or resentful.
But even though it takes God working in our lives for us to love like that, it is still incumbent on us to take the practical steps that we can in order to develop a mindset in which we begin to love others like that even though it goes against our sinful human nature.
So once again this morning, we’re going to look at the life of Jesus to see what we can learn about how to love like that.
TRUTH
As we’ve done each week in this series, we’ll begin in 1 Corinthians 13. The next phrase we find there is at the end of verse 5:
…it[love] is not irritable or resentful;
(1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV)
As we’ve seen for the last several weeks, Paul once again describes love in terms of what it is not – it is not irritable or resentful. This week, I’m going to spend a bit more time defining those two terms than I have in prior weeks for a couple reasons. First, they are both compound words or phrases that are somewhat difficult to translate into English with just a brief definition. And second, understanding the meaning of those two words is crucial in understanding how we can love like Jesus in this area.
The word “irritable” is a compound word that literally means “to bring to a sharp point”. It conveys the idea of being provoked or taking offense.
“irritable” =
“to bring to a sharp point” =
“provoke” or “take offense”
It is also important to note that this verb is in the passive form, which indicates that the action is coming on the person from the outside. So we see here that the kind of love that Paul is writing about here and the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated in His life is a love that chooses to passively accept that which might normally stir one toward anger, bitterness or resentment without seeking to fight back. As I pointed out in the opening, that is the kind of love Jesus demonstrated when He refused to make a defense when He was charged with crimes He had not committed.
Now let’s look at the word “resentful”. If you’re using the ESV translation, you’ll see a footnote that reads “does not count up wrongdoing” which is actually closer to the literal translation of the underlying Greek. In our current culture, it conveys the idea of “keeping score”
“resentful” =
“count [to itself] evil” =
“keep score”
This is the same idea that is used to express the way that God imputes righteousness to those who place their faith in Jesus. In His love, God chooses not to keep a record of wrongs that we have committed against Him. As I mentioned earlier, it is the kind of love Jesus demonstrated on the cross when He chose not to keep score against His accusers and asked God to forgive them.
I think it’s really helpful to think of these two ideas in these terms:
• Love that is “not irritable” is equivalent to God’s mercy. For those who have placed their faith in Jesus, God chooses not to be provoked to the point of carrying out His justice.
• Love that is “not resentful” is equivalent to God’s grace. Again for those who have placed their faith in Jesus, God chooses to not keep score of their sin and as a result He provides a pardon for those whose actions deserve His wrath.
Before we move on, it is also important to note that when God demonstrates this kind of love, it is extended even when the other person does not first acknowledge his or her sin or ask for forgiveness or without any expectation that the other person will repent. We were reminded of that earlier when Derek read from Romans 5 which describes how Jesus died for the ungodly. It’s certainly not easy for us to love others like that, is it?
Today I’m going to take a bit of a different approach than I’ve used so far in this series. Since I’ve already mentioned the way Jesus demonstrated this kind of love during His trial and on the cross, I want us to look at a passage where Jesus taught about this kind of love rather than one where he demonstrated it. It is found in Luke chapter 6:
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
(Luke 6:27-36 ESV)
Before we begin to draw some principles from this passage, let me make a couple of observations.
First, you will note that this passage bears a lot of similarities to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. There is some disagreement among Bible commentators about whether this is Luke’s account of the same event that Matthew recorded in his gospel account or if this is a different occasion. Since there are enough significant differences between the details of both accounts I tend to believe that this is a separate event from the one in Matthew. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that Jesus would have preached similar sermons on different occasions to different groups of people.
What is certain, however, is that there is absolutely no contradiction between the principles that Jesus taught in both accounts.
Second, we really need to be careful here not to take some of these statements out of context and take them too literally. If we literally gave to everyone who begged from us, or just let people steal our things without asking for them back, we’d be broke pretty quickly. Or if any of you bankers here made loans to your customers without expecting them to repay, you probably wouldn’t be employed for very long.
We need to keep in mind that Jesus was using these extreme examples to make an overall point, one that we could summarize like this:
When I love like Jesus loves
I love even those I don’t like
APPLICATION
HOW TO LOVE THOSE I DON’T LIKE
1. Release my grudges
When I first started refereeing high school basketball, one of the coaches decided he was going to test me. Apparently he didn’t like the game ball we were using so near the beginning of the second half he made a few choice comments and rolled out a different ball for me to use. And I immediately called a technical foul against him.
Obviously I still remember that incident over 15 years later. And I’ve officiated quite a few games with that same coach over the years. But I certainly don’t hold a grudge. In fact, almost every time we see each other, that coach and I now laugh about what happened that day and we have a good relationship. But had I chosen to hold a grudge all these years, that would not be the case.
I will never be able to do any of the things that Jesus commands here as long as I hold a grudge against someone else.
• I will never be the loving husband I need to be if I hold a grudge against my wife.
• I will never be the parent my children need if I hold a grudge against them.
• I will never be the employee Jesus wants me to be if I hold a grudge against my employer.
• I will never be able to serve effectively in the body of Christ if I hold a grudge against the pastor or one of the elders or one of my fellow brothers or sisters in Christ.
• I won’t be a loving neighbor if I hold a grudge against one or more of the people who live in my neighborhood.
That is really the essence of what Paul meant when he wrote that love is not resentful. Another way to put that is that we should “keep short accounts”. One of the most damaging things we can do in any relationship is to keep score and use those things that have happened in the past as weapons when we have a conflict with someone else. That is especially damaging in a marriage relationship. So if you’re married, one of the most important things you can do to enhance your relationship is to make a vow to each other not to continually bring up the past.
My guess is that there are probably a number of people here this morning who find it difficult or even impossible to love someone else because of something they did to hurt you years, or even decades, ago. In a group of this size, my guess is that there are some of you here this morning who haven’t even talked to a family member in years because one or both of you are holding a grudge about something that happened in the past.
But I can assure you that whatever that person did to hurt you, it doesn’t rise to the level of what those responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus did to Him. So if He was willing to keep short accounts and not hold a grudge against them, then I’m convinced that it is possible for you to release whatever grudges you are still holding against others.
Possible action step:
• Ask God to reveal to me any relationships where I am still holding a grudge against someone else. Make a list of those situations and ask for God’s help in releasing those grudges.
When I love like Jesus loves
I love even those I don’t like
And that begins by releasing my grudges.
2. Risk the possibility of being wronged
Many years ago Mary and I loaned a fairly significant amount of money to someone who needed some help. And that person even signed a promissory note which promised to pay back that money with interest. We understood at the time, that there was at least a chance that we would never see that money again. And today, probably about 30 years later, that is exactly what has happened.
A few years ago, I was going through some old papers and found that note and Mary and I decided that for the sake of the relationship we would just tear it up and not try to pursue legal action to recover it.
This is exactly how Jesus loves us – only to a much greater extent. He willingly gave His life on the cross for the benefit of all mankind, knowing beforehand that most people would reject what He did on their behalf. But He was willing to take that risk on behalf of the few who would respond to what He did for them by placing their faith in Him.
And in this passage, that is what Jesus is commanding His followers to do for others as well. But everything that He commands here carries the risk that others may take advantage of us when we do those things. When we do good to others, they will often not return the favor. When we pray for our enemies, they may very well mock us. Many will take advantage of our generosity. But loving like Jesus requires us to take those risks.
Before we leave this principle, let me repeat something that I’ve shared with you before. I am not suggesting in any way, that it is not wise to take prudent steps to avoid being hurt by someone in the same way they have hurt you in the past. That’s especially true where there has been any kind of physical or emotional abuse. Jesus is not saying here that we are just to let people run all over us when it is possible to take prudent precautions to prevent that.
For Mary and I there would have to be some really unusual circumstances before we would ever consider loaning money to the same person who never paid us back the last time. And if there was a situation where loving that person required us to do so, we would take whatever steps we could to help insure we got paid back this time.
Possible action step:
• Think about any relationships where I have been withholding my love because I’m afraid I might be wronged. Ask God to help me take prudent risks in order to love those people in practical ways.
When I love like Jesus loves
I love even those I don’t like
And that often requires risking the possibility of being wronged.
3. Respond based on faith, not feelings
In my life, there are a lot of people who are easy to love. Although I certainly don’t do it perfectly at times, in general, I don’t have a hard time loving my wife, or my kids or my grandkids or even most of the people in the church. But as Jesus points out here, that is really not anything to boast about because anyone can love the people who love them and do good to them. Even unbelievers do that.
But my challenge, and my guess is that it’s yours as well, is to love the unlovable – my enemies, those who hate me, and curse me and try to take advantage of me. Let’s face it, we rarely, if ever, feel like doing any of the things that Jesus commands in this passage. In the flesh, I don’t want to love my enemies or do good to those who hate me or bless those who curse me or pray for those who abuse me. So that means that if I act based only on my feelings, I am going to be disobeying Jesus a lot in all my relationships and I’m not going to be loving the unlovable very well.
Unfortunately, in our culture, we tend to view love as a feeling or an emotion. But as I’ve mentioned previously, when Paul describes Biblical love in 1 Corinthians 13, the kind of love that Jesus has toward us, he uses verbs, because that kind of love is an action that I choose to take regardless of my feelings or emotions.
The only way that I can do the things that Jesus commanded here is to trust that He has my best interests at heart when He directs me to act in that manner. I have to trust that regardless of how the other person might respond to me when I do my best to love the unlovable, Jesus is going to make it right in the end.
This passage ends with what seems to be a great paradox. If I genuinely love the unlovable, expecting nothing in return on this earth, Jesus promises that one day I will receive a reward that far surpasses whatever abuse and exploitation I might experience here on this earth. And not only that, when I love other people like that, the world around me is going to take notice, because that is certainly not commonly seen in this world. And that is going to give me opportunities to share my faith in Jesus with others.
Possible action step:
• Think about any relationships where I have chosen not lot love others because of my feelings. Make a commitment to love the other person in a practical way and trust God for the results.
When I love like Jesus loves
I love even those I don’t like
And that requires that I respond to others on the basis of faith and not my feelings.
INSPIRATION
Of all the aspects of loving like Jesus that we’ve looked at so far, this is probably the most difficult for most of us. Most of us do a pretty good job of loving the people we like, the people who treat us with kindness and respect. But loving those we don’t like is another story. That is hard because it is so contrary to our sinful human nature.
That’s why we have to constantly remember that Jesus loved each one of us like that. Even though every one of us was His enemy at some point in our life, Jesus willingly gave His life on the cross for us anyway. As we sang earlier, He put His love on the line for us. How can we do any less for others?
ACTION
Because loving like this is so unnatural for us, we obviously need God’s help to love like this. So I’m going to give you a few minutes to pray about this and ask God to help you love even those you don’t like. Think and pray about the possible action steps that I’ve suggested this morning and ask God to help you commit to take at least one of those actions this week.
[Prayer time]
