Many of you are probably familiar with this quote that has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi:
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Although that often repeated statement is attributed to Gandhi, there is actually no evidence that he ever said those words. And based on what he actually did say and write about Jesus, if Gandhi really did like Jesus, it was merely a Jesus of his own making and not the Jesus who is revealed to us in the Bible.
Typically, it seems that statement is used by unbelievers whenever they want to play the “don’t judge me” card.
But in reality, if we were to dig deeper, we would find that most of them really don’t like Christ. Sure, they might “cherry pick” a few of the things that He said that support their worldview. Gandhi certainly did that. He loved the things that Jesus said about turning the other cheek because it supported his teachings on non-violence. But he clearly rejected many of the other things that Jesus taught, most importantly that Jesus is the way and the truth and the life and that no one can come to God except through Him. And most of the people around us that use Gandhi’s quote tend to view Jesus like that too. So it would really be a stretch to say that they actually like Jesus.
But they do have a point when they claim that many Christians are so unlike Christ. While it is a good thing that Christianity rests upon the life, death and resurrection of Jesus and not upon the example of His imperfect disciples, there is no doubt that the gospel would be much more effective if Jesus’ followers did a better job of imitating Him. And that is especially true when it comes to the way that we love other people.
The Biblical accounts show that when Jesus lived out His life here on earth His love abounded in every word that He spoke, every person that He touched, every miracle that He performed. And Jesus has empowered us, as His followers to love other people the same way that He did.
But we don’t always do that very well. I think we would all admit that we’re less loving that we know we ought to be. So for the next eight weeks, we’re going to take a look at how Jesus loved and see what we can learn about His love for others that we can take and put into practice in our day-to-day lives. My goal is always to make my messages relevant to your lives and as practical as possible, but I sense that this series will be one that will provide us with quite a few opportunities to take and apply what we’re learning to help us love both our fellow believers and unbelievers more like Jesus loves us.
So during each of these messages, I am going to suggest some action steps that we can take to apply what we’re learning. Certainly not all of us need to take every single one of these steps, but I am convinced that each week, there will be at least one practical way that each one of us can apply what we’re learning. So I want to encourage you to seriously and prayerfully consider these action steps and commit to carry out at least one of them each week for the next 8 weeks.
Earlier this morning we read a portion of 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul describes what Biblical love ought to look like. Those verses are often read at weddings to describe the kind of love that a husband and wife are to exhibit in the marriage relationship. But certainly those words have a much broader application.
In that chapter Paul personifies love, which is certainly appropriate because Jesus embodied that kind of love. So what I’m going to do for each of the next 8 weeks is to take an aspect of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and show how Jesus dmonstrated that aspect of love in His earthly ministry.
This morning we’ll begin with the first phrase of 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient and kind…
(1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV)
Before we look at an account where Jesus exercised that kind of love, let me take a moment to briefly explain the meaning of the terms “patient” and “kind”. Although it is difficult to see this in our English translations, all of the terms that Paul uses to describe love in this chapter, including these two words, are verbs, not nouns. That is significant because it reveals that love is an action and not just a feeling or emotion.
We’ve run across the word “patient” before. The underlying Greek word is a compound word that literally means:
“patient” = to be “long-tempered”
In the Greek translation of the Old Testament, that same word is used to describe God’s character as “slow to anger”. This kind of patience is not, as our English word often implies, just gritting my teeth and white-knuckling it through life, but rather it describes waiting on God to take action. It means that I surrender my own desires to the will of God.
I know we’ve never run across the word that is translated “kind” here because this is the only place it is used in the Bible. Some commentators believe Paul may have actually coined the word himself.
“kind” =
“to show oneself useful”
The idea here is that love is concerned with being useful to the person being loved. In other words, when my love is kind my primary concern is for what is best for the other person.
So let’s look at one of the many times where Jesus exercised love that was patient and kind. It’s found in chapter 21 of John’s gospel.
After His resurrection, Jesus had instructed His disciples to go to Galilee and wait for Him there. But apparently they got impatient so Peter and the others decided to go back to their previous livelihood of fishing. They fished all night but caught nothing. The next morning Jesus stood on the shore and told them to cast their net on the right side of the boat and they caught so many fish that the net would not hold them.
At that point, Peter finally recognized that it was Jesus on the shore so, not surprisingly, he jumped out of the boat and waded to the shore. When the others finally joined him on the shore, Jesus had made breakfast for them and they ate a meal together. Then, after breakfast, Jesus had this encounter with Peter and the other disciples:
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.” (John 21:15-19 ESV)
As is true with many Biblical accounts, there is so much we could learn from this short passage. But what I want us to focus on this morning is how Jesus demonstrates love that is patient and kind not only toward Peter but toward us as well.
I sometimes look at the life of Peter and wonder why Jesus ever put up with the guy. He was constantly acting and speaking without thinking first. On the night before Jesus went to the cross he told Jesus that even if all the other disciples deserted Him, he would remain faithful. But before the night was over, Peter denied that he even knew Jesus three times and then ran off to hide until Mary came to tell him the tomb was empty. And even then it still took Peter a while to understand that everything Jesus had taught him and the other disciples had come to pass.
My guess is that all of us have some Peters in our lives. They are the ones who are always getting themselves into predicaments because they act before they think. They offend others because they have no filter and they just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. As I’m describing this kind person, you already have someone in mind don’t you? Perhaps a friend, a family member or a co-worker.
Loving that kind of person like Jesus loves is not an easy thing to do. But then again it couldn’t have been real easy for Jesus to love Peter either after the way Peter had treated Him.
But Jesus did love Peter in spite of all his faults and He demonstrates His patient and kind love here in this passage and we need to learn from His example.
When I love like Jesus loves
I look beyond what a person has been to what he or she can become
HOW TO LOVE PATIENTLY AND KINDLY
1. Be the initiator
Many years ago when I was coaching Little League baseball, there were two other coaches in our league that I really disliked. There were just some aspects of the way they coached that really drove me crazy. So of course when I was selected to be the coach of the All Star team that year – not due to my great coaching ability but rather because our team was pretty good because of the talented players – both of them ended up being my assistant coaches.
As we worked together I began to understand that some of the qualities in their lives that irritated me so much could actually put to great use for the good of our team. But in order to harness those qualities for the good of our team, I had to be the one to approach them and ask them to take over certain aspects of the coaching.
When we read that “love is patient” I think we sometimes mistakenly get the idea that means that we just wait around for the other person to initiate the relationship or if the relationship has been damaged because of something the other person has done to hurt us that we wait until he or she makes the first move. But in reality, the idea of being “long-tempered” actually requires us to do exactly the opposite and be the initiator.
That was certainly true in Jesus’ relationship with Peter. When Peter was nothing more than an uneducated fisherman, Jesus undoubtedly saw in Peter all the things that probably drove Him crazy – his impetuous, impulsive and often reckless behavior.
But at the same time, Jesus also saw a diamond in the rough and realized that those same character traits could be channeled into something productive for the kingdom of God. So Jesus sought Peter ought and called him to follow.
After the resurrection Jesus sought out Peter again. Even though the last thing Jesus had seen Peter do before the crucifixion was to deny Jesus three times, both Luke’s gospel and chapter 15 of 1 Corinthians record that Jesus sought out and appeared to Peter after His resurrection. We don’t know any of the details of that encounter, but it is reasonable to assume that on that occasion Jesus had sought ought Peter in order to initiate the process of reconciling their relationship and restoring Peter.
And here in John 21, we see Jesus initiating the contact with Peter once again. After His resurrection, Jesus had told Peter and the other disciples to go to Galilee and wait there for Him to appear to them again. But after a while they got impatient so they went back to fishing. But once again, Jesus sought out Peter. This time, I
believe that Jesus’ primary purpose was not just to restore His relationship with Peter, which He had likely done in their previous meeting, but to restore Peter publically in front of the other disciples.
So Jesus was actually the initiator at several points in Peter’s life. On the front end, He initiated the relationship with Peter because He recognized the potential that Peter had to be a positive influence for the kingdom of God. And later, when Peter had hurt Him deeply, He didn’t wait for Peter to come to Him. He took the initiative to go to Peter.
This is an idea that we can put into practice to demonstrate love that is patient and kind love in every area of our lives.
In our homes, sometimes the things that bug us most about our spouse or our kids are actually their greatest strengths and they can be channeled into something really useful and productive if we’re willing to take the initiative to help them do that. And when someone in our family does do something to hurts us – which is inevitable - we can be the one who initiates the process of reconciliation.
This is a concept that should also be practiced in the workplace. If we’re willing to take the initiative, it’s often possible to take the character traits in an employee or a co-worker, or even a boss that drive us crazy and help them channel that into something productive and useful. And when there is conflict in the workplace we can be the ones who initiate the process of reconciliation and restoration.
And without a doubt, this is an idea that is absolutely essential in the church. God has created everyone in this body as a unique individual and those differences are sometimes going to frustrate us. But instead of complaining or getting bitter or angry we need to use our energy to help each other be productive members of the church by using our God-given makeups to help build up the body. And we also need to be aggressive in pursuing reconciliation whenever conflict arises in the body.
I’ll be honest. Loving people like that isn’t easy. And it’s not something I do particular well, but I’m working on it. And my prayer is that you’ll join me in attempting to do a better job of loving people with patience and kindness by taking the initiative in all of your relationships.
Possible action steps:
• Make a list of the people in my life that “drive me crazy” – in my home, at work, in the church, in the community. Then consider how I can help them to channel those qualities into something productive and useful.
• Make a list of people who have hurt me. Pray and ask God to show me how I can initiate the process of reconciliation.
When I love like Jesus loves
I look beyond what a person has been to what he or she can become
And in order to do that, I have to be willing to be the initiator.
2. Be willing to forgive – but not necessarily to forget
Several years ago, someone very close to me tried to go behind my back and undermine my leadership here at TFC. And initially, I was angry and wanted to get back at that person. But over time, with God’s help, I was able to move beyond my anger and truly forgive that person, even though that person never did ask for forgiveness.
But at the same time I also came to realize that I had done some things that weren’t very wise that had allowed that person to be in a position to hurt me like that. So I’ve also taken some steps to make sure I don’t repeat those same mistakes again the future. So although I have forgiven, I have not forgotten.
We see here that is exactly what Jesus did with Peter. Some commentators have made a big deal out of the fact that two different Greek words for love are used in this dialogue between Jesus and Peter. And they have also given a lot of attention to the difference between “lambs” and “sheep” and the difference between “feeding” and “tending” those lambs and sheep. While those differences may have some significance, it is my opinion that placing too much attention on those details actually clouds rather than gives clarity to the main idea of the passage.
What is far more significant overall, in my opinion is the fact that Jesus asks Peter three times if Peter loves Him, which seems to correspond directly to the three times that Peter had denied that he even knew Jesus on the night before the crucifixion. That is an indication that Jesus had not forgotten what Peter had done that night just hours after proclaiming that he loved Jesus so much he would never forsake Him.
But Jesus is not using this dialogue to “rub it in” and make Peter feel even more guilty than I’m sure he already felt. Instead, I believe He is taking Peter back to that night to remind Peter and the other disciples of the extent of the forgiveness He is extending to Peter. In effect, He is making it clear to Peter, and to the others, that He is giving them all a fresh start.
We are never instructed in the Bible to forget the wrongs that people have committed against us. We are never told to pretend that they never happened. Nor is there anything in the Bible that would prevent us from taking prudent actions to make sure that person doesn’t harm us in the same way again the future. It is even possible that the offense could rise to the level that we need to break off the relationship completely. But most of the time that is certainly not true. I can’t imagine a lot of things people could do to hurt us that would rise to the level of what Peter had done to Jesus.
But we are instructed over and over in the Bible to forgive those who have wronged us, even if they hurt us over and over again. Forgiveness primarily means that I give up my right to seek vengeance or retaliate for what another person has done to me. I release the situation to God and trust that He will make sure that justice is carried out in His way and His time.
Possible action step:
• Make a list of people who have hurt me that I have not yet forgiven. Make a choice to forgive that person and release the situation to God. If possible, let the other person know you have forgiven him or her.
When I love like Jesus loves
I look beyond what a person has been to what he or she can become
And in order to do that I have to be willing to forgive, even if it’s not appropriate to forget.
3. Be honest, but hopeful
When I first began to sense that God was calling me to be a pastor, I made an appointment to discuss that with my pastor. I appreciate that he was really honest with me and talked about the difficulty of going into ministry without the benefit of seminary training. But at the same time I left that meeting really discouraged because at that point in my life it just wasn’t possible to pick up my family and head off to seminary for 3 years.
Fortunately, another one of the pastors that I worked with closely at that same church took a little different approach. Although he also talked about the difficulty of being a pastor without seminary training, he used his connections to find me a position where those risks would be greatly minimized. To this day I am so grateful to him because without that balance of honesty and hope, I would not be doing what I’m doing today.
Here in this passage, Jesus is brutally honest with Peter. He lets him know that taking care of His flock is going to result in Peter dying an unpleasant death. But He also encourages Peter and gives him hope at the same time.
As I mentioned earlier, the purpose of this encounter was primarily to restore Peter in the eyes of the other disciples. They undoubtedly still held some grudges against Peter for his earlier claims that he loved Jesus more than any of them. But here Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to once again declare his love for Jesus, but this time with much more humility. And as evidence that Jesus believes that Peter loves Him, He publically gives Peter the task of caring for His flock.
I think for many of us, this is the most difficult aspect of patient and kind love for us to put into practice in our lives. I know it certainly is for me. It is so easy to go to either of the extremes.
On one hand I can really be encouraging to people without being honest. I think because of my own experience that I shared earlier I have sometimes erred in this direction. So as a result I’ve allowed or even encouraged people to enter into ministries that they feel called to participate in when it is clear that God has not gifted them for that particular ministry. But while not being honest with those people might seem kind on the surface, it is really not kind at all because it’s not useful either to them or to the body as a whole.
On the other hand, I know that I have sometimes gone to the other extreme and been brutally honest with people without balancing that with any kind of hope or encouragement. And that is not patient or kind either.
Possible action step:
• Who do I know that is going through a situation where they need to hear both honesty and hope? Pray for God to give me an opportunity to share those things and for the wisdom to do it effectively.
When I love like Jesus loves
I look beyond what a person has been to what he or she can become
And in order to do that I have to be both honest and hopeful.
Because Jesus has loved us like that, He has radically transformed our relationship with God. He looked beyond who we have been – sinful humans who deserve God’s wrath – to what we can become in Him – disciples who follow, serve and proclaim Him as Messiah. He did that by dying on the cross while we were still sinners to provide a way for our relationship with God to be restored.
When we love other people in the same way, we not only help others to become who they can become in Jesus, but we also become more like Jesus ourselves. Can you imagine how much all our relationships would change if we loved others like this? Our marriages, our relationships with our children, our relationships at work and our relationships within the church would all be radically transformed for the better.
But that won’t just happen by accident. This morning I’ve suggested four possible action steps that you can take this week. So right now I’m going to give you a few minutes to look those over and pray about them and then circle at least one of those steps that you’ll commit to take this next week.
[Prayer]
