4 Pillars of a Man’s Heart
1 Kings 2:2-4
Rev. Brian Bill
June 18-19, 2016
Opening Video: You Got This
Guys, we got this, right? Right? By the way, that video is posted on the Sermon Extras tab at edgewoodbaptist.net if you want to watch it again.
On this Father’s Day weekend, some of us have been blessed with tremendous models of fatherhood. But there are others who have been ignored, neglected, abused or abandoned. Some of you have lost your dad or husband. And for you, Father’s Day is anything but happy.
I sincerely hope that you will allow our Heavenly Father to fill that void in your life. May you experience the truth of Psalm 68:5: “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
My guess is that some of us guys don’t really like attention on Father’s Day because frankly we know that we’re not doing all that we’re supposed to be doing. In many churches women are celebrated on Mother’s Day and men are slammed on Father’s Day. I don’t intend to do that though the Holy Spirit may lay some hurt on some of us today.
The message today is geared not just to fathers but also to men in general. Women, you get to listen in…as long as you don’t elbow the guy sitting next to you.
We’re hitting the pause button on our preaching from the Gospel of Mark and will jump back into it next weekend. Before we go much further, allow me to make some observations and applications from the terrorist attack last Sunday morning. Some of what I will say I first shared in an interview on Moody Radio Monday morning. If you’d like to listen to it, it’s posted on the Sermon Extras tab.
I recognize that the situation is still rather fluid, the investigation is ongoing, and I certainly don’t have any profound insight in the midst of all the perplexity and complexity. But I will say that our first response should always be to “weep with those who weep” as taught in Romans 12:15.
I was deeply grieved to hear what a Baptist pastor from California preached to his congregation last Sunday night: “I think Orlando is a little safer tonight. The tragedy is that more of them didn’t die…I’m kind of upset he didn’t finish the job.” He went on to say that he wished homosexuals would be put in front of a firing squad. That is absolutely appalling and his awful attitude does not reflect true Christians and those of us who call ourselves Baptist.
As a way to answer the “why” question and to counter any smug sense of spiritual superiority that we might have, Jesus offers these stunning words in Luke 13:4-5 – “Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”
I’m grateful for law enforcement, first responders and all the medical professionals who jumped into action and for how true Christ-followers are reaching out.
I realize that while no one can completely know the murderer’s motives, it’s clear that he was motivated in large part by his allegiance to ISIS. This terrorist group, along with others, is devoted to apocalyptic radical Islam.
As followers of Jesus Christ, we declare that every single human being, regardless of behavior or orientation, is made in the image of God. I agree with Joe Carter when he says that we are called to pray, pause, grieve, love and hope.
The solutions to this situation are not primarily psychological or political but rather spiritual and theological. We have become untethered from a sense of right and wrong, we’ve lost our moral compass as a country, and evil has been unleashed. As Jesus said in John 8:44, Satan “was a murderer from the beginning.” The Bible says that things will only get worse in 2 Timothy 3:1: “In the last days, there will come times of difficulty…”
Our country is talking a lot about “soft targets” right now. Friends, there is no place that is safe except to be anchored to the Lord Jesus Christ, who is our Rock and Refuge. Psalm 18: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my Rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Lane Palmer points out that while there is no guarantee of safety in this life, there is a guarantee of salvation in the life to come. Jesus Christ left his place of safety in heaven and entered into this dangerous world of wars and school shootings and terrorist attacks to give us hope by taking the bullets that were aimed at us.
So what do we do?
➢ Pray that those who are grieving will know the truth of Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
➢ Let’s ask God to use this situation to bring unprecedented spiritual openness and a spiritual awakening in our country, beginning in the church. God loves to bring good out of atrocious evil – Genesis 50:20 – “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”
➢ Ask God for a passion and love for Christ that will drive out fear (1 John 4:18).
➢ Let’s care for the lonely, isolated and angry around us…and to reach out to the LGBT community. The gospel is the only power greater than the hurt in the human heart and the only solution for sinful atrocities.
➢ This attack is a vivid reminder of our own mortality and vulnerability and therefore we must live with renewed purpose and share the gospel with greater urgency. This will not be the last attack.
I love what John 1:14 says about Jesus – “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only, who came from the Father, FULL OF GRACE AND TRUTH.”
WE TOO MUST RESPOND WITH GRACE AND TRUTH.
The best example I’ve seen of how to live out truth and grace took place this week in Orlando when owners of several Chick-fil-A restaurants opened their doors on Sunday to provide free food for those lining up to give blood and to serve first responders.
What I like about this is that Chick-fil-A has courageously stood up for the covenant of marriage as between one man and one woman for life – and has taken a lot of hits for their biblical stance. They are holding to truth and they are reaching out with grace by providing free food and opening on a Sunday to do so.
Let’s do the same. Hold to Scripture and serve. Don’t compromise God’s Word and go with grace to those who are hurting. We must proclaim the love of Christ with our lips and with our lives! 1 Peter 3:15 says: “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”
To tag onto the line from the video we just watched, “We got this…because God’s got this.”
Show Yourself a Man
You might think that what I just shared is not related to our topic today but it actually is. When guys become the men God made them to be, great things will happen in a nation, in a community and in the home. We learned this in our Men’s Huddle last month when over 60 guys were challenged to wake up, stand up, man up, grow up and love up.
Grab your Bibles and turn to 1 Kings 2. David has been serving as king and the country of Israel is now in a precarious position because he is close to death. Listen to the charge that he gives to his son Solomon in verses 1-3: “When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, ‘I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn.’”
Notice first that this is not a suggestion but rather that he “commanded Solomon.” This word means, “to charge, direct or order.” David directs his son Solomon to do three things:
1. Be strong. This has the idea of being courageous and reminds me of what Moses said to Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” We have a clue about what Solomon thought of himself in 1 Kings 3:7: “I am but a little child. I do not know how to go out or come in.” David hadn’t always been the best dad (like most of us men) but knowing that he is about to die had a way of helping him think with clarity.
2. Show yourself a man. The word “show” has the idea of “becoming” or “to make it happen.” Check out how other versions of the Bible render this verse:
(NKJV) “Prove yourself a man.”
(NIV) “Act like a man.”
(NLT) “Be a man.”
(MSG) “Show what you’re made of!”
God gives a mandate for men in Micah 6:8: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” God longs for us to be kingdom-minded men.
To paraphrase Tony Evans, “A kingdom man is the kind of man that when his feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, ‘Oh, rats [Tony uses a more earthy word] he’s up!’ When a kingdom man steps out his door each day, heaven, earth, and hell take notice!”
3. Walk in obedience. If we were only told to be strong and act like men, it wouldn’t be enough. It’s not just a matter of bucking up or manning up. We must be proactive and not passive in our obedience. Men are to “keep the charge of the Lord your God.” The word “keep” carries the idea of “preserving, guarding and maintaining” in a way that is urgent, not complacent. Notice also the phrase, “the Lord your God,” which shows that Solomon had a personal relationship with God. Listen. You will never become the man God meant for you to be until you begin a relationship with Him through the new birth.
We’re to walk in His ways and keep his commandments, statutes, rules and testimonies. It’s only when we do that we’ll prosper and be able to pass it along to our offspring. Listen to Deuteronomy 4:9: “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” Blessings come as a result of obedience. Faithfulness leads to fruitfulness.
Let’s pull this passage together to come up with a simple summary statement: To show yourself a man, you must grow yourself in God. Or, to say it another way: You won’t show yourself a man until you grow yourself in God.
4 Pillars of a Man’s Heart
Let’s bounce over to the opening chapters of the Book of Genesis because we won’t fully understand the uniqueness and design of men without an understanding of the first man. Check out Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him…” Every human being is created the image of God and thus has value and dignity. That’s why we’re so committed to saving the preborn. As you may know, the generous givers of Edgewood gave over $53,000 towards the purchase of a Mobile Medical Van that will offer free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds throughout the QCA. The van is here this weekend and is available for tours after the service. If you serve with Pregnancy Resources, please stand so we can express our thanks to you.
Verse 27 continues: “…male and female He created them.” We learn right away that while men and women are created in the image of God, there’s a difference between the genders. Facebook may offer 58 different gender options but God created just two. By the way, Pastor Rob at Harvest delivered a fantastic message last weekend on the topic of transgenderism.
Let me just say that regarding gender, God has made men and women to be equal but not identical. Men and women have been designed with different roles and responsibilities. I concur with the “Danvers Statement” as published by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: “Both Adam and Eve were created in God’s image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood.”
Several years ago I read a book called, “The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart” by Stu Weber. I went back and reread parts of it recently and decided to rephrase the pillars to make them a bit more descriptive and easier to remember (plus, I almost always alliterate. See what I did there?). As we ponder these pillars, I’d like to ask every man to do an honest assessment so you can get to the point of saying, “I got this.”
Here are the four pillars:
1. Loving Leader
2. Wise Warrior
3. Transformative Teacher
4. Faithful Friend
Pillar #1 - Loving Leader. The first pillar has to do with providing. We see this in 2:15: “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” The word “work” means “to serve” and “keep” refers to guarding and having charge of something. In verses 15-23, we see that Adam’s role is to name the animals and to name Eve. This shows his authority and responsibility as a leader.
Q: Men, would you say that you are serving as a loving leader? In what ways are you providing for those closest to you?
Pillar #2 - Wise Warrior. The second pillar is about protecting. God set some clear parameters and boundaries in 2:16-17: “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’” This word “commanded” brings us back to David’s charge to his son Solomon.
As a wise warrior, Adam was designed to protect and safeguard his wife from harm. Tony Evans puts it like this: “Men, you are in a battle. You are in a war. Lives will be lost. Eternities will be shaped.”
Another terrible news story came out of Orlando this week when a two-year-old was snatched and killed by an alligator at a Disney resort. The father jumped in and tried to rescue his son to no avail. This dad went into warrior mode, ending up with lacerations on his hands and a heart that has been torn out of his chest in grief. I can’t even imagine how those parents must be feeling but let’s make sure we’re not blaming or shaming them.
Some of you dads (and moms) have done all you can to help your child and you feel like someone has snatched him or her from you. We hurt for you.
This makes me think about another horror that is taking place each day, on average every 20 seconds, as over 56 million babies have been snatched by the jaws of abortion since 1973.
2 Samuel 23 describes a group of mighty men who were wise warriors that served King David. God is looking for mighty men who will serve King Jesus by protecting and preserving life.
What about it, guys? Use your position and stop being passive. You and I were born to defend women and children, including the preborn. Don’t sit idly by when you know lives are being snuffed out.
It’s an honor to serve a church that stands up for refugees and for the preborn. Yesterday many attended the World Refugee Day activities and today the mobile ultrasound van is here. Thanks Edgewood, for reaching out to the little, the least and the lost!
Inside the chest of every man beats the heart of a warrior. I like what John Eldridge says: “As men, we have an adventure to live, a battle to fight and a beauty to rescue.”
Q: My comrades in Christ, are you a wise warrior? In what ways are you working at protecting those you love?
To show yourself a man, you must grow yourself in God.
Pillar #3 - Transformative Teacher. The third pillar of a kingdom man is that of a persuader and involves teaching or mentoring. Adam’s job was to inform and educate Eve about what God said in verses 16-17. He didn’t do a very good job with that.
A man who is a mentor intentionally and deliberately passes along God’s truth to the next generation. I read the first several chapters of Proverbs this week and was challenged by Solomon’s instructions to his sons.
1:10 – “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.”
2:1-5 – “My son, if you receive my words…then you will understand the fear of the Lord…”
3:1 – “My son do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments.”
7:24 – “And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her [the adulteress] ways; do not stray into her paths.”
Last Saturday we celebrated the 80th birthday of Beth’s dad. A lot of her family gathered together as we gave glory to God for the godly husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather and father-in-law that he is. He has always taken his teaching role seriously as he intentionally passes along godly wisdom in both formal and informal ways. He learned this from his own father.
Beth’s dad shared a memory he had when he was a young man when his dad came into his room to ask him just one question. He was a man of few words so when he spoke, people listened. Here’s what this transformative teacher asked: “Son, are you living the abundant life?” His dad turned around and walked out of the room, just letting the question percolate into his son’s soul. That one question jumpstarted his spiritual life!
What about you? Are you intentionally looking for ways to persuade those you are called to lead? What can you do to step up your role as a transformative teacher?
Adam is to be provider, protector, and persuader. The fourth and final pillar is that he’s to partner with Eve.
Pillar #4 - Faithful Friend. Genesis 2:18: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Adam failed as a faithful friend. Do you know where he was when Eve was deceived and ate of the fruit? It might surprise you to know that he was present but passive. He may have been strong but he was silent. Instead of being a faithful friend, he bailed and failed his bride. Check out Genesis 3:6: “she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.”
Are you a faithful friend to your family? In what ways can you grow in partnership with your wife?
To show yourself a man, you must grow yourself in God.
Pillar Principles
As you ponder these pillars, maybe you’re strong in one or two but weak in the others. I contacted an engineer friend this week to learn about pillars. I specifically wanted to know if there’s something significant about the strength of four pillars.
He told me that the main function of pillars is to support a structure. The forces that act on the building determine the size and number of pillars needed. These forces are “dead loads,” which are constant and never vary. The other forces are “live loads,” which vary in both magnitude and direction, and are unpredictable. These include things like wind and snow and other forces.
A single pillar is strong in compression if you load it straight down from the top, but if the load comes a little from the side then even though the pillar is strong in a perfect vertical loading scenario it will buckle more readily. So if life was perfectly predictable and you could know with certainty that the stress on you would always be applied in a vertical manner, a single pillar is fine.
Two pillars are good if you apply a load in the same plane they are aligned in. But if you apply a load perpendicular to the plane the pillars are in, then they will easily fail by tipping over.
Three pillars are better than one or two because a tripod will support vertical loads and has some resistance to horizontal loads in pretty much any direction. But they take up space and are not very practical.
A four-pillar structure supports its own dead load weight and has superb strength to resist those wildly unpredictable live loads that come upon the structure from unknown directions and with unknown magnitude.
How many pillars are you building your life on? How many pillars are supporting your family? One is uncertain and two is tenuous. Three is good but four is best.
Men, Where Are You?
I find it very interesting that even though Eve was deceived and ate of the fruit, Adam is the one who is held responsible. He has to give an account for both his action and for his inaction. Check out what God says in Genesis 3:9: “But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’”
• Where was the loving leader in you, Adam? Why didn’t you provide for your bride?
• Where did the wise warrior go? Adam, why didn’t you protect your wife from harm? Why were you slacking off and not standing in the gap?
• Where did your role of transformative teacher break down? Why didn’t you persuade Eve to do what was right? Where was the mentor in you?
• Where did Eve’s faithful friend disappear to when she needed you most? Were you aloof? Distant? Absent? Why are you blaming her instead of treating her like a partner?
Men, if you’re like me, you’re dropping the ball. That’s the bad news. But the good news is that Jesus Christ is the perfect example of godly masculinity and with His enablement, you got this! Ultimately, it’s not about what you need to do but what God has already done for you in Christ. That’s the gospel of grace.
• Jesus is the ultimate loving leader who provides.
• Jesus is the wisest warrior who protects. He took on death and hell and Satan and sin and defeated them all!
• Jesus is the best transformative teacher who persuades.
• Jesus is the definitive faithful friend who partners with us in kingdom ministry.
If you have not yet received Jesus Christ as your provider, protector, persuader and partner, then do so right now. You will never be the man God designed you to be until you are saved. To show yourself a man, you must grow yourself in God.
My trouble, more often than not, is that I’m not engaged as a dad. I’m not always fully present. My heart is not always in the job. In the very last verse of the Old Testament, in Malachi 4:6, we hear these words: “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…”
I’ve often wondered why this verse comes at the very end of the Old Testament. This is God’s last word for about 400 years before the Gospels come on the scene. God’s heart is for my heart to be toward my children and for the heart of my daughters to be turned toward me.
I know for me it’s really a heart issue. If my heart is fully focused on my daughters, then I will do a pretty good job of fathering. Dads, if you sense that your heart is not really into parenting, and your kids don’t have much to do with you, then make this verse your personal prayer. Ask God to turn your heart to your children and ask Him to turn their hearts to you. While we cannot turn their hearts around we are responsible to make sure our own hearts are soft toward them.
Guys, with God’s enablement, we got this!
Closing Video: Playtime with Dad
Thanks for relating to and engaging with your kids, dads. Remember that when you’re with them, you’re not their babysitter; you are their father. I’d like to have all the men stand right now so I can pray for you as we dismiss.
