FOUNDATIONAL FAMILY INTEGRITY—Ephesians 6:1-4...
points 3-4 of MUTUAL SUBMISSION-IV—Ephesians 5:21—6:4
Attention:
READ excerpts from—Focus on The Family’s—‘Celebrate Dad’s Unique Contributions This Father’s Day’ AND ‘How to Reignite Your Fatherly Fidelity’...
From Focus On The Family—'Celebrate Dad’s Unique Contributions This Father’s Day':
"What happens when a researcher tries to measure the parent-child bond using the same standard yardstick for both moms & dads?
Dads lose.
That’s what Kathryn Kerns discovered when she talked to teens & preteens about their parents.
But something wasn’t adding up: the kids were describing “rich, warm relationships” with their dads. So why weren’t the fathers scoring better?
Because the researchers were using the wrong yardstick.
Turns out you can’t evaluate dads the same as moms, because fathers parent their children very differently than mothers do.
Dr. Kerns talked about her findings with the Wall Street Journal recently. The article, “Mom, Let Dad Be Dad,” describes how her team needed to create new tests & techniques to better capture “the father factor.”
And once they did, dads started scoring much better. We’re now learning about “the nuances, & the value, of the seemingly random, sometimes silly play many dads engage in with their children.”
Where previous mom-oriented tests minimized the importance of exploration & risk-taking, new studies are capturing just how much fathers contribute in this area. Through play, silliness & even a certain level of “pushiness,” dads help children develop & become well-rounded adults.
...Sometimes dads get a bum rap. If only they could be more sensitive, more tender, more … like mom.
Don’t get me wrong – sensitivity & tenderness are great qualities in a dad.
But so are a love of roughhousing & laughter!
So this Father’s Day, celebrate dads. Thank God for all the unique ways they contribute to their children – the zany antics they go through to make a baby smile, the wrestling on the floor with the kids, the corny “dad jokes” they share.
And when Dad throws his toddler high up into the air this weekend? Smile & let him be. Turns out, he’s just doing his job.”
From Focus On The Family—'How to Reignite Your Fatherly Fidelity’:
"Men have a special role in the family.
They show their daughters what to look for in a future husband & how a man should treat his wife. They show their boys how to be a committed husband, a loving father, & a man of integrity.
At least that’s what we’re striving to do."
We don’t always hit the mark, but I can tell you, there are a lot of good men out there. They’re dedicated fathers & husbands who are committed to their families & work hard to instill strong values in their children.
Still, guys get busy building their careers or working hard to make ends meet, & they can always use some encouragement to remember that the needs of their wives & children are their greatest responsibilities.
Ken Davis(Christian comedian) suggests four commitments for fathers...
1)The first is a commitment of time. Men can often get so busy they don’t make time for the most important people, particularly their wives & children.
To our families, “love” is spelled T – I – M – E.
2)The second commitment is to say, “I love you.” There are many different ways to demonstrate our love, of course, & those are important, too. But our wives & children need to hear us verbalize it.
3)Another commitment is to touch. Some dads stop hugging their daughters around the time their daughters reach puberty. But that may be the time their daughters need to experience appropriate touch from their father as much as any other time in their lives.
As for your sons, touch them, too. Hug them, give them a playful shove, or wrestle with them. Find a way to make a loving connection with them through touch.
4)And finally is your commitment to Christ. You can’t force your children to love the Lord, & you can’t instill spiritual character or integrity in your children through discipline & rules alone. Perhaps more than anything else you may say or achieve, your children will be impacted by watching your walk with the Lord & witnessing how you treat your wife. When they see a strong commitment to Jesus that endures through the good & the bad, they’ll see a faith that works."
Need:
We are a country embroiled in individualistic endeavors to the exclusion of & to the ruin/destruction/devastation of others....manifested in Hedonism(drugs/sex/possessions)
Work-ism or busy-ness(Work=Good)...borne by financial indebtedness, etc.
It is not possible for a marriage & family to survive, when one or more of the members is into themselves to the exclusion of others!
We may learn to live ‘with’ one another but not ‘for’ one another, thus we will have no power in the world!
Integrity—“The state of being whole & undivided: upholding territorial integrity & national sovereignty.” a.—The condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction. b.—Internal consistency or lack of corruption.
&/or
Integrity—1. Adherence to moral & ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty; 2. The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished; 3. Sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.
Paul unveiled the role of submission inherent to a Christ-honoring nuclear family.
Christ-honoring nuclear families must operate under the umbrella of submission.
How is submission essential to the integrity of Christ-honoring nuclear families?
4 arenas in which submission secures Christ-honoring integrity for the Christ-honoring family.
*Foundational(Christ-honoring) family integrity is found in Mutual Submission!...BUT *Mutual Submission cannot be experienced fully apart from God’s love!
We had found previously that Foundational(Christ-honoring) family integrity is found in...
1. A WIFE’s submission(5:22-25, 33)
2. A HUSBAND’s submission(5:25-33)
Today we will examine two more aspects of this as...
3—Foundational family integrity is also found in...
A CHILD’s submission(6:1-3)
Explanation:(6:1-3)
6:1—“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
Application of the Christian bounds of love just described(5:22-33) also produces a divine environment in which children can thrive.
However, in order for this ‘model atmosphere’ to work, children too must be obedient to the Lord’s will. And God’s will for children finds perfect expression thru submission to their parents!...
Thus if husband & wife are unsubmissive to God’s design, the children always suffer, being estranged from God’s intended blessing.
Thereby it is absolutely vital for a family, that both husband & wife submit themselves to God in Christ according to His design—with...
1)The husband properly as his wife’s Christ-like head(in the same manner as Christ is head of the church)5:23.
2)The wife properly subjecting herself to her Christ-like husband.
“Parents”—meaning an ideal(God’s ideal) of one of each sex & not of the same sex. Christians are to organize & operate their families by God’s design, & not from that of the world even if their society/culture makes it ‘mandatory’ thru law.
The Lord’s will for children in a Christian home is that they “obey” their parents.
But why must children “obey”?...They are immature & not fully capable of adult decisions. Even as teenagers they are still 'only on the verge of' adulthood. It is simply “the right” thing, in Christ, for them to “obey.”
“In the Lord”—Within the framework of the Lord’s desire & design. Therefore it “is right.”
“Children”—teknon—Noun Neuter—1) Offspring, children—1a) Child, 1b) metaph.—1b1) The name transferred to that intimate & reciprocal relationship formed between men by the bonds of love, friendship, trust, just as between parents & children, 1b2) in affectionate address, such as patrons, helpers, teachers & the like employ: “my child”. Teknon gives prominence to physical & outward aspects of parentage. Teknon & uiov both point to parentage. Teknon, however, emphasizes the idea of descent, giving prominence to the physical & outward aspects; while uiov emphasizes the idea of relationship, & considers especially the inward, ethical, & legal aspects. Strong—A child(as produced).
From the base of timwria[Vindication, i.e. by implication--A penalty].
“Obey”—upakouw—1) To listen, to harken—1a) Of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is,(the duty of a porter); 2) To harken to a command—2a) To obey, be obedient to, submit to. Strong—To hear under(as a subordinate), i.e. To listen attentively; by implication--To heed or conform to a command or authority.
From—upo—Preposition—1) By, under. Strong—a primary preposition; Under, i.e. (with the genitive case)of place--Beneath, or (with verbs)the agency or means--Through; (with the accusative case)of place--Whither, underneath, or where--Below, or time when--At).—&—akouw—a primary verb; To hear(in various senses).
“Parents”—goneuv—Noun Masc.—1) Fathers, parent, the parents. Strong—from the base of ginomai[to cause to be, become]; A parent.
“Lord”(:22, 29)—kuriov—Noun Masc.—1) He to whom a person or thing belongs, about which he has power of deciding; master, lord. Kuriov has a wider meaning[than despothv], applicable to the various ranks & relations of life & not suggestive of either property or of absolutism. Strong—from kurov(supremacy); Supreme in authority, i.e. as noun--Controller; by implication--Mr.(as a respectful title).
“Right”—dikaiov—Adj.—1) Righteous, observing divine laws—1a) in a wide sense--Upright, righteous, virtuous, keeping the commands of God—1a1) Of those who seem to themselves to be righteous, who pride themselves to be righteous, who pride themselves in their virtues, whether real or imagined, 1a2) Innocent, faultless, guiltless, 1a3) Used of him whose way of thinking, feeling, & acting is wholly conformed to the will of God, & who therefore needs no rectification in the heart or life—1a3a) Only Christ truly, 1a4) Approved of or acceptable of God, 1b) in a narrower sense--Rendering to each his due & that in a judicial sense, passing just judgment on others, whether expressed in words or shown by the manner of dealing with them. Strong—Equitable(in character or act); by implication--Innocent, holy(absolutely or relatively).
:2—“Honor your father & mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:”
A child’s obedience is defined in terms of “honor.”
“Honor” on the part of a child has everything to do with recognizing one’s parents as heads over them & living that out...Mutual Submission!
“Honor” is to be extended thru willing submission, to both “father & mother.”
A child’s obedience to parents is expected per the 5th commandment of Ex. 20:12 & From Deut. 5:16—1 of the 10 Commandments.
This commandment, rather than merely stating the fact of the need for obedience to it, goes farther, in that the obey-er is “promised” a blessing(:3) from the Lord.
“Honor”—timaw—Present Active Imperative 2nd Sing.—1) To estimate, fix the value—1a) For the value of something belonging to one's self; 2) To honor, to have in honor, to revere, venerate. Strong—To prize, i.e. Fix a valuation upon; by implication--To revere.
From—timiov, timiwterov(comparative), & timiwtatov(superlative)—Valuable, i.e. objectively--Costly, or subjectively--Honored, esteemed, or figuratively--Beloved.
“First”—prwtov—
“Commandment”—entolh—Noun Fem.—1) An order, command, charge, precept, injunction—1a) That which is prescribed to one by reason of his office; 2) A commandment—2a) A prescribed rule in accordance with which a thing is done—2a1) A precept relating to lineage, of the Mosaic precept concerning the priesthood, 2a2) ethically used--Of the commandments in the Mosaic law or Jewish tradition. Entolh is more specific[than nomov], being used of a particular command. Strong—injunction, i.e. An authoritative prescription.
From—entellomai—To enjoin.—itself from:—en—1) In, by, with etc..—&—telov—properly--The point aimed at as a limit, i.e. by implication--The conclusion of an act or state(Termination [literally, figuratively or indefinitely], Result[immediate, ultimate or prophetic], Purpose); specifically--An impost or levy(as paid).
“Promise”—epaggelia—Noun Fem.—1) Announcement; 2) Promise—2a) The act of promising, a promise given or to be given, 2b) A promised good or blessing. Strong—An announcement(for information, assent or pledge; especially a divine assurance of good).
From—epaggellw—reflexively--To announce upon, i.e. by implication--To engage to do something, to assert something respecting oneself.
:3—“that it may be well with you & you may live long on the earth.””
The promise is a promised blessing, in that it will “be well with” the person(child). Boy or girl is irrelevant here, because both are to submit to their parent’s godly leadership & life-lessons!
A child’s ‘wellness’ is manifested or expressed in that child’s being given the privilege of living “long on the earth.”
This a blessing that is a merciful extension of God’s love...
It is a blessing that rests in the obvious result of the godly/loving manner in which one approaches others.
It encompasses an attitude of love & appreciation for the Lord, & thus a love & appreciation for His design or scheme of living godly even in the midst of a sin-sick world.
It is a promise that neither God nor man will ‘take you out’ before your time.
This relates directly to one’s Quality of life.
This relates directly to one’s relationship with one’s fellow man.
This relates directly to one’s recognition of & regard for human authority.
This relates directly to one’s being mindful of their fellow man’s background & lifestyle, while personally living rightly before God in Christ.
“Well”—eu—Adverb—1)To be well off, fare well, prosper; 2)Acting well. Strong—neuter of a primary euv(good); adverbially--Well.
“Live long”—makrocroniov—Adj.—1) Long lived. Strong—Long-timed, i.e. Long-lived. Used 1X.
From—makrov—Long(in place [distant] or time [neuter plural])—&—cronov—of uncertain derivation; A space of time(in general, & thus properly distinguished from kairov, which designates a fixed or special occasion; & from aiwn, which denotes a particular period) or interval; by extension--An individual opportunity; by implication--Delay.
“Earth”—gh—Noun Fem.—1) Arable land; 2) The ground, the earth as a standing place; 3) The main land as opposed to the sea or water; 4) The earth as a whole—4a) The earth as opposed to the heavens, 4b) The inhabited earth, the abode of men & animals; 5) A country, land enclosed within fixed boundaries, a tract of land, territory, region. Strong—contracted from a primary word; soil; by extension--A region, or the solid part or the whole of the terrene globe(including the occupants in each application).
Argumentation:
Lk. 2:41-52—“His[Jesus'] parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast. When they had finished the days, as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph & His mother did not know it; but supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day’s journey, & sought Him among their relatives & acquaintances. So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him. Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them & asking them questions. And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding & answers. So when they saw Him, they were amazed; & His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father & I have sought You anxiously.” And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them. Then He went down with them & came to Nazareth, & was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom & stature, & in favor with God & men.”
Lk. 18:15-17—“Then they also brought infants to Him[Jesus] that He might touch them; but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to Him & said, “Let the little children come to Me, & do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. “Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”
1Tim. 2:1-4—“Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, & giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings & all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet & peaceable life in all godliness & reverence. For this is good & acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved & to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
Heb. 12:14—“Pursue peace with all people, & holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:”
Rom. 12:9-21—“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless & do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, & weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Children learn to do such thru their godly parents!
Illustration:
Incentive—The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle & began feverishly unloading gear & setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls & their mother set up the camp stove & cooking utensils.
A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system: no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
Application:
?Your submissiveness as a CHILD, encourage Christ-honoring family integrity?
A Child submits him/herself to the needs of their parents.
4—Foundational family integrity is found in...
A FATHER’s submission(6:4)
Explanation/Argumentation:(6:4)
6:4—“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training & admonition of the Lord.”
In order for their children to receive the promised blessings of the Lord, “fathers” themselves should keep in mind that the proper response to their children’s spiritual/moral growth is not garnered thru “provocation” but rather thru raising them within the framework of “the training & admonition of the Lord.”
A God-ordained father is a Christian father!
A Christian father should not only be knowledgable of, but sensitive to, his children’s differences—abilities, loves, passions, mold-ability(how to draw out their best) in bringing them closer to the Lord.
Why warn “fathers” about “provocation”? Because fathers above all else are all about preparing our children for adulthood. Moms want to keep their babies as babies & keep them close at hand for their protection, while fathers want their children to be prepared to ‘make it’ in the world on their own for their protection!
“Provoke...to wrath/Provoke...to anger/Exasperate/Stir up anger”—parorgizw—1)To rouse to wrath, to provoke, exasperate, anger. Strong—To anger alongside, i.e. Enrage. Used 2X.
From—para—1) From, of at, by, besides, near. Strong—a primary preposition; properly--Near; i.e. (with genitive case)--From beside(literally or figuratively), (with dative case)--At(or in) the vicinity of (objectively or subjectively), (with accusative case)--To the proximity with(local especially)--Beyond or opposed to, or causal--On account of.—&—orgizw—To provoke or Enrage, i.e. passively--Become exasperated.
“Bring...up”—ektrefw—Present Active Imperative 2nd Plural—1)To nourish up to maturity, to nourish; 2)To nurture, bring up. Strong—To rear up to maturity, i.e. (genitive case)To cherish or train. Used 2X.
From—ek—1) Out of, from, by, away from. Strong—a primary preposition denoting origin(the point whence action or motion proceeds), From, out(of place, time, or cause; literal or figurative; direct or remote).—&—trefw—To nourish, support; Feed; Give suck, fatten; Bring up, nurture. Strong—properly--To stiffen, i.e. Fatten(by implication--To cherish[with food, etc.], pamper, rear).
“Training/Nurture/Chastening”—paideia—Noun Fem.—The whole training & education of children(which relates to the cultivation of mind & morals, & employs for this purpose now commands & admonitions, now reproof & punishment) It also includes the training & care of the body.; 2)Whatever in adults also cultivates the soul, esp. by correcting mistakes & curbing passions—2a) Instruction which aims at increasing virtue, 2b) Chastisement, chastening, (of the evils with which God visits men for their amendment). Strong—Tutorage, i.e. Education or training; by implication--Disciplinary correction. Used 6X.
From—paideuw—1) To train children—1a) To be instructed or taught or learn, 1b) To cause one to learn; 2) To chastise—2a) To chastise or castigate with words, to correct—2a1) of those who are moulding the character of others by reproof & admonition, 2b) of God—2b1) To chasten by the affliction of evils & calamities, 2c) To chastise with blows, to scourge—2c1) Of a father punishing his son, 2c2) Of a judge ordering one to be scourged. Strong—from paiv[A child or slave]; To train up a child, i.e. Educate, or by implication--Discipline(by punishment).
“Admonition/Instruction”—nouyesia—Noun Fem.—Admonition, exhortation. Strong—Calling attention to, i.e. by implication--Mild rebuke or warning. Used 3X.
English=‘Admonish’—“To indicate duties or obligations to, to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner; To give friendly earnest advice or encouragement to.”
From—nouv—The intellect, i.e. Mind(divine or human; in thought, feeling, or will); by implication--Meaning—&—tiyhmi—To place(in the widest application, literally & figuratively.
Literally=‘To place in mind.’
Argumentation:
*Prov. 22:15—“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.”
Prov. 13:24—“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”
Prov. 19:18—“Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.”
Prov. 23:13-14—“Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.”
Prov. 29:15, 17—“The rod & rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother....Correct your son, & he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.”
For Discipline’s sake:
Heb. 12:5-13—“And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate & not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, & we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits & live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, & the feeble knees, & make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.”
How "provocation" may be expressed:...
Overprotection—Lack of trust in their abilities.
Favoritism—Unfair comparisons to siblings
Our daughter Ellinor—“You spend all our money on Catherine(our oldest)!”—BUT Ellinor being youngest, was oblivious to Age & Need differences.
Pushing overachievement—Never satisfied with their efforts.
Illustration:
Full Capacity—One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had ‘cabin fever’ & ‘had’ to go out to run some errands. In her rush to get away, she forgot her phone.
Daddy stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.
Soon after Momma left, the baby started to cry.
Daddy did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, he got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest & then down to the diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.
"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"
The father was very perplexed & asserted to the doctor, "But the diaper package says its rated for up to 10 lbs.!”
Application:
?Your submissiveness as a FATHER, encourage Christ-honoring family integrity?
*A Father submits himself to the needs of his children.
CONCLUSION:
Visualization:
Excerpts from—Focus on The Family’s—‘Celebrate Dad’s Unique Contributions This Father’s Day’ AND ‘How to Reignite Your Fatherly Fidelity’...
Action:
Foundational(Christ-honoring) family integrity is found in...
3. A CHILD’s submission(6:1-3)
4. A FATHER’s submission(6:4)
1. A WIFE’s submission(5:22-25, 33)
2. A HUSBAND’s submission(5:25-33)
Pts. 3-4 Presented 03/06/2016am--Father’s Day-- to:
FBC Cbelle
206 Storrs Ave. SE
Carrabelle, FL 32322
Pts. 1-4 Presented 06/17/07 Father’s Day to:
Lyerly Evangelical Church
1320 Crescent Rd.
Salisbury, NC 28146
