“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right; honor your father and mother (it is the first command with a promise), that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. As for you fathers, never exasperate your children, but bring them up in the discipline and on the admonitions of the Lord.”
(Ephesians 6:1-4 – Moffatt translation)
“Wives, be subject to your husbands; that is your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, never be harsh to them. Children, obey your parents at every point, for this pleases the Lord right well. Fathers, avoid irritating your children, lest they become dispirited.”
(Colossians 3:18-21 – Moffatt translation)
Introduction…
Many people talk about what they call the “war on women.” I’m not quite sure what they mean by that, but I believe that there is a war and I would define it today as a “war on fathers.”
Nobody talks about the father’s rights; nobody stands up and talks about the importance of fatherhood because it is not an effective political “talking point.” After all, if it cannot get you elected to some office what good is it anyway?
There are studies to show that fathers are an important ingredient in the family today. I do not need to talk about those statistics; I think you know where I am coming from. A growing number of families are what is called “single-parent” families.
This is not good and even the secular psychologists warn that this is not a good environment for children to grow up in.
Young boys, in particular, are greatly affected by not having the proper father figure in their life when they grow up. Much of the crime in the inner cities is a result of this.
Throughout our culture today, there is an undermining of the family. From television to movies to music to electronic games and so forth, we see this phenomenon in our culture today.
There is only one purpose behind all of this, compromising the purpose of God for the family.
As Christians, we need to stand against this movement of the culture. However, we are finding the same statistics in the Christian church as we find out in the secular world. As Christians, we need to help redefine what the family is all about from God’s perspective.
There is a lot that we could say along this line, but today I want to focus on the father. And I want to talk about the portrait of a godly father. Nothing that I will say today has any bearing on an unsaved father. I want to focus on the godly father that is absolutely needed in the Christian home today.
Theme…A godly father lays a firm foundation for the next generation to build upon.
What this generation has today is a result of yesterday’s fathers. More importantly, it is a result of the secularization of the church, which has affected the role of the father in the home. Because of this, the church is losing its influence in the culture.
It is important that Christian fathers stand up and be everything that God desires them to be because the health of the next generation is in their hands.
Let me lay out the portrait of a godly father for us to consider today. Hopefully, this will encourage us to pray for fathers and for us fathers to work more diligently to become everything God wants us to be so we can influence the next generation spiritually speaking.
You will notice that these three qualities are firmly rooted in the Lord Jesus Christ. We do not take our cues from the world around us, but from the Lord Jesus Christ within us.
I. Prophet.
Throughout both the old and the new Testaments, we hear much about the role of the prophets. Without these prophets from the past, we would not have Christianity today.
The prophets were the watchers and warned the people of danger and how to avoid it. (A spiritual guard, gatekeeper).
Basic to the work of the prophet was “thus saith the Lord.” They did not originate their message, but rather communicated to the people the message of God. They were rooted and grounded in the word of the Lord and God’s people were blessed when they listened to those prophets.
Now, why am I bringing all of this to bear upon the godly father? What do the prophets have to do with being a godly father?
Very simply, the basic obligation of the godly father is to speak forth the word of God to his family. The foundation of his family must be the word of God.
Sports and entertainment and recreation are wonderful, but they can never replace the importance of God’s word.
The father has an obligation to ground his family in the word of God. He must read the word, teach the word and apply the word of God not only in his personal life but also to the life of the family. And show to his family how it works in his life.
The beginning portrait of the godly father is that to his family, he is The Prophet.
II. Priest.
The job of the priest was to oversee the spiritual attitude of the people. In the Old Testament, we see how they worked with Israel. They had an obligation to make sure that the Israelites were taking care of the spiritual aspect of their life.
The priest ruled in the tabernacle and then later the temple.
The godly father is the priest in his home.
As the priest, he is responsible for the spiritual life of his family.
Notice Ephesians 6:4, “As for you fathers, never exasperate your children, but bring them up in the discipline and on the admonitions of the Lord.”
This is the spiritual obligation of every Christian father. As a father, when I stand before God, I will give an account of how I fulfilled this obligation and will be judged accordingly.
There is a negative here as well as a positive.
First, the negative side. “Never exasperate your children.”
The King James puts it this way, “provoke not your children to wrath.”
How many fathers have, really made this mistake in their family. Consequently, many of the children have rebelled. I like the way Moffat puts it, “exasperate.” We must not, as fathers, allow our children to become frustrated but rather we need to teach them how to handle situations in life. This begins with the father modeling this in the home.
For a father to “lose his temper,” is to in the long run “exasperate” his children.
How many exasperated children are there today because fathers have not fulfilled their job?
Then there is the positive side. “Bring them up in the discipline and on the admonitions of the Lord.”
There are two aspects to this: discipline and the admonitions of the Lord. This is the responsibility of the father.
Spiritual discipline is built upon the admonitions of the Lord. In other words, it has everything to do with the Word of God. The father has an obligation to teach his children the word of God.
But he cannot be teaching them something that is not a part of his personal life. It is not, “do what I say not what I do,” kind of philosophy.
III. King.
The King aspect here, if you go back and read through the Old Testament, was primarily to oversee the nation’s authority and respect for the law.
We can see how this worked in the Old Testament. But as a father, I need to have this King aspect in my family.
Let’s not misunderstand this. It does not mean that the father is the king of his castle and everybody has to bow to his lordship. That only leads to exasperation and frustration. And that is what happens in many homes. A belligerent husband or father compromises the godliness of his home.
What needs to happen here is that the father sets the rules and he himself obeys those rules and disciplines his family to respect authority. If the father does not respect authority, how can the family respect authority?
One of the problems in our culture today is this lack of respect for authority. And everybody has a good reason why they don’t respect authority. But it always goes back to this one thing; their father was not exercising his role as king in his family, abusing his authority.
This is not the father “laying down the law.” That ends in exasperation and frustration within the family.
Rather, the father is to oversee his family in this area of respecting authority. The father has the obligation to explain to his children what respecting authority is all about. And he cannot tell them to respect authority when he himself does not respect authority.
One thing that needs to be dutifully explained by the father is that authority is not always right. It is not our obligation to correct authority, unless of course we are in a position that we can, but rather to obey authority.
One of the best ways that he can demonstrate respecting authority is to demonstrate before his children his respect for their mother. It is impossible to be a good father without being a good husband. That is the problem in many families today.
As the father respects his wife, he demonstrates to his children how to respect other people and how to respect authority and how to be a godly person.
Conclusion…
Nobody is perfect and perhaps we have not lived up to God’s expectation of us, particularly as fathers in the family. Perhaps in the past, we failed most miserably.
The good news is, we do not have to live in the past.
Regardless of the past, we can change our path today. Sometimes, when we do make this change, it is obvious to our children and grandchildren and they start to take notice.
Don’t live in your past.
Don’t give up because you have not measured up.
Rather, make a determination within your own heart today that you are going to begin, today, to be all that God wants you to be.
The good news also is that we are not doing this alone. God is with us in this endeavor. We must become the godly fathers that our families need and we only can do it through the power of the Holy Spirit in our life.
As a father, I need to clear my life of any obstruction that would keep the Holy Spirit from working in my life. I’m not talking about sin here. I’m talking about things in my life that are cluttering my ability to be what God wants me to be.
The next generation of Christians needs this generation of fathers to live in the power and demonstration of the Holy Spirit.
Make a vow with me that our best father in days are ahead of us.
