How many friends do we really need in life? Two hundreds, or just two.
• When we go through our most difficult moments, how many friends do we need by our side? Twenty, or two? (Just got to know that I’ve 226 friends on FB.)
• How many of our friends today are merely acquaintances? How many of them are close - close enough to know what’s going on in our lives?
I know of someone who had gone through a very rough patch, and is still struggling today. He went into drugs, started drinking and stealing, got caught and was imprisoned. He lost his job.
After serving a short time in prison, he was released back to serve the remaining of his sentence from home. He has to observe strict curfew. Trying to get settle down in a job. Nothing much have changed actually. He’s still struggling with his addiction and many other problems.
On his Facebook recently (which was revived after this long hiatus), I saw something that makes my heart feels heavy. It was his birthday and within a short time, >50 friends greeted him on his timeline – happy birthday, blessed birthday, may all your wishes come true…
I felt sad actually. How many of these friends really know what he has been through? How many of them knows what he really needs and how to help him?
This is a sad state of reality but true. Many are in the same place today. They have many friends but feeling very lonely. No one understands them.
• The real need is not the scores of friends that LIKED you, but the one or two whom you can confide with and who knows the deepest secrets of your heart.
• They know your fears and your pains. And they can bring you back to God and help you find strength in God.
Prov 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
• The Lord provided such a friend for David. Let’s read 1 Sam 23:15-18
15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." 18 The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.
David needs such a friend. God knows and He provides.
• Jonathan played a critical role in David’s life. I want to take a quick glance of their FRIENDSHIP from the beginning, starting in 1 Sam 18:1-4.
18:1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
They are ONE IN SPIRIT. ESV: “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David…”
• David had just returned from fighting Goliath. Jonathan can identify with him.
• He himself is also a brave warrior. In 1 Sam 14 we saw how he attacked the Philistine outpost with his armour-bearer.
• They both trusted God to fight the Philistines. They had the same spirit and determination. Same passion to honour God and defend Israel.
Jonathan made a COVENANT with David because he loved him as himself (18:3).
• The author mentioned this TWICE (verse 1 and 3). He loves David.
• Jonathan gave David his robe, his tunic, his sword, his bow and his belt. It’s the robe of the crown prince, the next in line to the throne, but Jonathan gave it.
• He did not see David as his RIVAL (to his throne) but a FRIEND he cares about.
The author highlights this COVENANT they made - 3 times on the 3 occasions they met in 1 Sam 18, 20 and 23. (1 Sam 19 they conversed but not sure they met.)
• They “made a covenant” (1 Sam 18:3, 20:16 and 23:18). Not 3 different covenants but reaffirming the same one they made.
• 1 Sam 20:17 “And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.” That’s the depth of their friendship.
• It’s like a marriage covenant! The wedding vow would fit very well here. They are totally committed to each other!
This is the FIRST mark of this godly friendship – Wholehearted COMMITMENT.
• Jonathan is not a fair-weather friend. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov 18:24). He loves David as himself.
• Jonathan has to content with his father and take risks to befriend David, but he is committed to it. He wants to see God’s best for his friend, even if it means he has to take the second spot, which is what he said in 23:17.
Don’t evaluate friendship on the basis of what our friends can do for us. Enter into a friendship with the desire to bless the other.
• For that matter, don’t enter into any relationship with the thought of “getting something out of it”. That’s the wrong starting point.
• Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13). A good friend gives.
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Jonathan and David met again when David was in Ramah - 1 Sam 20:16-17
“So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD call David's enemies to account." 17And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.”
Then Jonathan “tested the water” with his father and sent David a signal.
• He tried to talk some sense into his father but Saul “hurled his spear at him to kill him.” (20:33)
• Jonathan’s parting words (1 Sam 20:42): “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, `The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.
This is the SECOND mark of a godly friendship - Unwavering SUPPORT.
• He is someone you can depend on. It wasn’t easy for Jonathan. On one side is his father, and the other a friend he loves. Jonathan risked his life protecting David.
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And finally, the passage we read this morning, their THIRD encounter and sadly, the FINAL encounter – 1 Sam 23:15-18. This is the last time they are seeing each other.
David is hiding in the widerness of Ziph at Horesh. (He wrote Psalm 54 here).
• Jonathan came looking for him despite the dangers, and that to do just ONE THING – to encourage his friend! (And then off he goes).
• Jonathan is the BARNABAS of the OT. In NT we read of Barnabas in ACTS (known as son of encouragement) taking care Saul when nobody trusted Saul.
The same spirit is seen in JONATHAN. He says…
a. “Don’t be afraid.” (23:17) Don’t let fear cripples you, keep faith with God.
b. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you.” He cannot succeed because God is protecting you. He has been doing that and will continue to do so.
Reminds me of what Paul says in 2 Cor 1:8-11
“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favour granted us in answer to the prayers of many.”
c. “You will be king over Israel…” That’s God’s promise and plan. No one can change it.
d. “I will be second to you.” I will stand by you all the way.
(This did not materialise unfortunately because Jonathan was killed in battle soon after, before David was enthroned.)
e. “Even my father knows this.” He is losing confidence with each failure.
Jonathan helped David FIND STRENGTH IN GOD.
This is the finest thing we can do for a friend - the THIRD mark of a godly friendship – to provide Spiritual ENCOURAGEMENT.
Jonathan speaks faith into David. That’s faith speaking.
• He wasn’t presumptuous. By now, he knows the will of God for David.
• God’s purpose cannot be thwarted. No one can change it.
• That is the basis of his faith and that is the basis of David’s faith.
Jonathan risks his life travelling to Horesh in order to encourage David, because he loves him, and because David needs it.
• He inspire courage in David. To encourage is to inspire COURAGE, when someone is losing it.
• We encourage by directing the person’s ATTENTION to God and His PROMISE.
(1) Treasure the JONATHANs in our life. We need them.
• These are the friends we need to keep. Never mind if you do not accept everyone as friends on FB (I’ve a long list). You can unfriend some, or unfollow them.
• But keep your JONATHANs. They are the ones who build faith in you and help you find the strength you need in God. They reminds you of God and what God says.
(2) Pray for God to provide you with JONATHANs. Just as the Lord knows David’s needs, He knows your need and He will provide. Trust Him.
(3) Be a JONATHAN. Can God count on us to be a Jonathan to a David who is struggling to stay alive?
• If yes, then we need to think about our COMMITMENT, the SUPPORT we can offer, and the ENCOURAGEMENT we can give in Christ.
It takes AN EFFORT to be JONATHANs because it is not easy. There are sacrifices.
• We are naturally inward-looking and self-centred. We spend more time rehearsing our own problems, than thinking about what others are going through.
• They are all around us. We just need to see them.
• Don’t just be a Facebook friend. Be a friend that really matters. And we can all be one!
