It has been said that children are a great comfort in your old age, and they also help you reach it faster! Wise parenting and grand parenting is when each generation passes the baton of Biblical values on to the next generation. It is my strong desire and hope that I will not drop the baton in my leg of life’s race. Biblical parenting is the tried and true method of investing in your family tree. A note here; this is why I am a firm believer in the importance of the local church. It is the only place, outside of the family, where you can get consistent moral training from the nursery to the grave. Sons and daughters will not get it in a public School, and they aren’t likely to get all they need even in Christian school. The work force certainly won’t do it (99.9% of businesses are not about teaching morals, but about the bottom line). So then, if our children or grandchildren are going to get the additional support they need, families need to be active in a good Bible-believing church. When my children get to be adults, it’s not what they know about math that’s going to save their marriage, but rather what they know about God!
Parenting is a call of duty that extends from the time we get married and have our first child, all the way until the day we meet God. Parenting is a responsibility that never goes away. We parent until the time we pass away. The form of parenting changes but the force does not. Grand parenting is a wonderful blessing. The Bible speaks favorably of a number of grandparents that had tremendous influence on their posterity. Think, for example, of Jacob, the grandfather of Ephraim and Manasseh, when he placed his hands of blessing on them and cast a future for these young men. Or consider the long reaching influence of Eunice, Timothy’s godly grandmother.
At first glance, Proverbs 13:22 might make us think that we’re going to talk about financial inheritances. Wouldn’t it be exciting to get a phone call from a lawyer and hear that your rich uncle died and left you a million dollars! When I was in my early twenties I bought a “huge” share in a real-estate mutual fund group (I think it was one 1 share at $26). I totally forgot about it for over fourty years. When I was cleaning out some files one day I discovered the real-estate trust certificate from all those years ago. I thought to myself upon seeing this little piece of paper, “I am going to be rich!” Sugarplums were surely dancing in my mind! When I finally located the man in charge he laughed and told me that the fund was now defunct…Oh well! We’re talking about a Biblical inheritance which is much more valuable and will never go belly up. A godly inheritance is the greatest inheritance of all!
There Are Three Parts to A Godly Inheritance:
1. It is Leaving a Lasting Legacy
Proverbs 13:22 states that a good man (or woman) “leaveth.” He leaves a legacy for his children’s children. We all know that our children are affected by who we are. Your character also touches grandchildren. How thrilling to see the positive domino effect of good living. As a child, dominos that were set on edge to form a little “snake” fascinated me. All that had to be pushed was the first one, and an amazing series of events began to take place. How awesome (and also daunting) it is to my soul, to know that my life is the second domino in what I think will be a long line of godly heritage. How incredibly blessed it makes me feel that should the Lord tarry, I am going to touch my family tree by God’s grace for hundreds of years.
Consider the incredible Biblical story of the Rechabites as recorded in Jeremiah 35. Jonadab, the beginning “domino” in the family tree, had made the following commitment, “we (both personally and as a family) will never drink alcohol and will live a nomadic life style. We will trust God for His provision and leading.” This family of faithful people kept up this incredible legacy generation after generation for more then fifteen centuries! As a result, God gave the descendants multiplied favor after favor.
What an incredible comfort to know that some of the godly principles we are instilling today, might be able to touch lives for multiplied generations. It’s a terrible thing to invest in something, only to see it evaporate. However, nothing could be a more guaranteed return on our investment of time and effort, than to pray for and to touch the life of a young person for Christ. May I say by the same token, absolutely nothing grieves me and cuts me to my soul and nothing keeps me any more dedicated to be true to the principles of God, than to know that my poor example could damage a precious little life. I can tell you there have been numerous times when, to my shame, I would want to involve myself in a certain vice, but by God’s grace I have gotten the victory because I see a little son or daughter’s face in my mind’s eye and think to myself, “What will become of them?” I know that my life has a ripple effect, and those pebbles that are thrown in the pond might be small, but have a long-range effect.
2. It Is Giving and Not Spending
Proverbs 13:22 speaks of leaving and not spending an inheritance. Godly grandparenting is thoughtful of future generations. Our resources, whether temporal or eternal, are not to be spent entirely on ourselves. We are not to fritter away our estate. Grandparents can set the foundation for a strong family and strong societies, by preparing for the future. When they are stable in their work and saving, they set an example of good industry and diligence. It’s vital that a grandparent and parent are diligent about forming and following an estate plan that will be a blessing to the following generations, however small it might be.
Now, of course, having a savings plan in place for the future, does not mean that you cannot “have a life” as a grandparent. Reasonable frugality is the guiding principle here. I love the profound plan that John Wesley, one of the 17th century’s great reformers, told Christian people to do, “Earn all you can, give all you can and save all you can.”
Let’s look at that statement. Earn – We need to be constantly improving our abilities at work. We should also try and have other jobs or training in our “back pocket”, in case something happens to our current employment. There is nothing wrong with trying to get as much money as possible into the home coffers for needs and emergencies. Give – Without giving to the Lord’s work, all of your earning and savings mean nothing. It’s just like putting your money into a bag with holes the prophet Haggai said (Hag. 1:6). Save – By God’s grace we’re going to save all we can. It doesn’t mean that you can’t spend or even have nice things. The first book of Timothy says that God has given us all things, “richly to enjoy.” That is, Christian’s have the responsibility to find as much wholesome joy as possible in life’s earthly pleasures. God doesn’t say that His followers have to live an austere life, eat birdseed and walk around in 30 year-old clothes that they took out of the Goodwill bag. There ought to be a savings plan and it should be followed to the best of our ability, but God is the “blessor” of savings accounts. He will touch it one way or another. It may or it may not grow like we would like, that’s His business, but as long as I have a plan and as long as we’re sticking to it by God’s grace, then so be it.
3. It is Doing Good Things
Proverbs 13:22 states that it is a good man that leaves an inheritance. If it’s a good man then he must be doing good things. Sometimes in the twists and turns of life we will not be able to give our children the kind of financial head start that we would like. If we can leave our children and our grandchildren a few dollars or a few thousand dollars, praise the Lord! Leaving others huge sums, is likely to be unwise without certain guidelines. As the old adage goes, “We should be giving while we’re living so we are knowing where it’s going.” If we can leave a financial inheritance of several thousands of dollars, it would likely be a great and awesome blessing. It might give some grandchild seed money to start a business. Or perhaps, we can help sons and daughters pay cash for a home. Lets pray and hope that whatever plan we come up with that God will bless it.
However, if we can’t leave many good things financially, we can ALWAYS leave them good things morally, and that’s what this verse is saying most of all. Of all the things that you leave, make sure that you leave GOOD things. When my 75-year-old pastor dad learned he had terminal cancer, he pulled me aside and said, “Son, I’m sorry I don’t have much to leave you.” I can still remember the emotions I felt at that moment as I looked into the steel blue eyes of that square jawed Scotsman. Immense gratefulness welled up in my soul as I said to him, “Dad what you have given my family and I is worth ten thousand times more than any dollars, trust me dad, you have left us so rich!” You see, every time he would build up any kind of nest egg, he would get up and pioneer a church plant. Essentially, he put all of his money into the Lord’s work. He died with just a couple thousand dollars to his name, but I’ll tell you that he gave us millions in a godly heritage.
There Are Three “Good” Things That Every Grandparent Ought to Leave:
1.) Prayers
Pray for your grandchildren to be saved by the grace of God. Grandparents are a great key in the salvation of their grand children through praying that they might be truly born again. One of the exciting things about my position as a grandparent is that I can be a good grandparent whether I live next door, ten miles away or a thousand miles across the world. Being a good grandparent doesn’t require that I am with them all the time, but I can ALWAYS pray for them.
For example, Paul prayed for his spiritual children in Ephesians 1, that they would understand the depth and the riches of who they were in Christ. A prayer that I pray every week for my children and grandchildren, is the prayer of David for Solomon, that God would give each one: A heart for God, a life that is obedient and hands that serve the Lord. Let’s pray that our children and grandchildren can get a hold of God’s truth in their heart. Pray that they will fall in love with Jesus in a special way.
2.) Instruction
Instruction should be given that reinforces God’s Word and good morals, as you have opportunity to be with grandchildren. Sometimes circumstances don’t allow us to be with them as much as we might like. Perhaps then, a granddad or mom could have a texting program, where they text every grandchild. Or, of course writing letters and making phone calls occasionally is a good step of influence.
One little sidebar here about grand parenting: The command to instruct is not the right to instruct for grand parents. The right to instruct belongs to the parent. Grandparents can only instruct as they are allowed. Now, if I am told not to tell them about Jesus I cannot obey that, but just about anything else, I need to yield to the jurisdiction of the parents. For the most part we must keep our hands off and our mouth shut, and let them come to us.
Grandparents should instruct the children that when they die they are not gone, but that they will be waiting for them. Tell them, “When Papa or Grandma dies, I want you to know that I want to meet you in heaven.” You should speak to them about the principles of God. Most of the time it will be side-by-side instruction while we’re driving or while we’re doing some little project together, where we can talk about the principles of God. You don’t have to be the greatest theologian that lives to touch their life. You can certainly tell them about things YOU have learned from the Bible, somehow and in someway. I love telling “made up” stories with Bible truths woven into them. My adult children can tell you that they have heard some of the craziest stories ever as a child (ask them about “Low Shoulder”)!
We have a responsibility to not to let our family memories die. Strangely, some of our greatest success stories can actually come from our failures. They should know that we’re not perfect, but that we serve a perfect and forgiving God! Let’s inspire them that no matter what happens in life they can win. Joseph Salk, developer of the polio vaccine, once said, “Grandparents both give their children roots and wings.”
3.) A Good Example
I may not be able to leave much of a financial inheritance but I can leave a godly inheritance. Pastor Charles Swindoll said, “Every day we make deposits into the memory banks of children and someday they’ll pull those deposits out.” Setting the example of fearing and obeying God is the greatest thing that I can do. I want my children to be able to say to their children, “I’ll tell you one thing about your granddaddy - he served God. He was a man that feared God.”
I am encouraged by these promises in Psalms:
“But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children;” Psalm 103:17
Wow…what an amazing promise! I can secure God’s special mercy to my grandchildren. May it be so Lord.
“He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.” (Psalm 105:8)
I may forget, but God never forgets my good works and life. My good works can touch a thousand generations, praise God. That is what I call a good inheritance!
I close with one of my favorite poems:
The Bridge Builder
An old man going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening cold and gray,
To a chasm vast and deep and wide.
Through which was flowing a sullen tide
The old man crossed in the twilight dim,
The sullen stream had no fear for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side
And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,
“You are wasting your strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day,
You never again will pass this way;
You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build this bridge at evening tide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head;
“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There followed after me to-day
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been as naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”
Will Allen Dromgoole
When life gets so hard that it doesn’t seem worth going on – remember we’re building a bridge. Just keep building bridges, friend! When my hands are raw with labor and I feel I can no longer to carry on, when my feet are so heavy I feel like I can’t take another step; I must remember that I’m building a bridge for others!
