Conversations with God
How to . . . Pray
May 8, 2016
For the past few weeks we’ve been looking at Conversations with God. We have lots of conversations with God. We come to God for many reasons, most of the time we want something from God. Last week, I mentioned that often times we don’t know how to pray. Sometimes, it’s just starting. Just talk to God and you end up in the flow of the conversation . . . and that conversation is prayer.
But let me step way back when it comes to prayer. I want to ask you what I think is a pretty startling question ~ Do you believe in prayer? That’s pretty simple. But it gets to the deepest point of our prayer life.
Do you believe in prayer?
I told this story a number of years ago . . . When I was 12 years old, I was called into the office of Henry Sokolow. I have to admit, I was afraid of him, he seemed so intimidating. Mr. Sokolow was the superintendent of the Hebrew School I was attending and he wanted to ask me about my upcoming Bar Mitzvah. I vividly remember his question, because it scared me, “Michael, do you believe in prayer?”
Between the time he asked the question and the time I answered, maybe two seconds elapsed, but I ran through a gamut of possible answers. I wasn’t sure what to do, because to be honest, I didn’t really believe in prayer, I didn’t know what prayer was. I knew if I said, “No, I don’t believe in prayer.” My life would flash before me, I’d be in big trouble. If I said yes, I would be lying. As a 12 year old whose life was about to end . . . you can guess how I answered, “Of course I believe in prayer.” Mr. Sokolow said, “Good, that will be the topic of your Bar Mitzvah speech.”
That was in 1971; almost 45 years ago. I can still remember some of that speech. I remember an illustration and one crucial sentence. This one sentence has stayed with me all these years. It was this, “Do not pray as a perfunctory act.” It was the first big word I ever publically said - - and actually understood what it meant. Perfunctory means - “to perform a task with a minimum of effort, to do something with apathy; to be dispassionate, detached, halfhearted, indifferent, lukewarm, and spiritless.
I think you get the point. Is this how we approach prayer. Kind of like it is a necessary evil. It’s expected . . . I better do it, or I’m doomed. I better believe in it or I’m smitten.
Prayer should never be perfunctory. We shouldn’t go through the motions and assume that’s good enough for God. Yet, if I were to take a poll, there are many people who might agree with me when I was 12; questioning prayer, especially whether it works.
There are too many people who struggle with prayer. Is it worth it? Is it effective? How do I do it? Is there a right way or a wrong way? How do I know if I get an answer to my prayers? And our list can go on and on . . .
If you wanted to get to know me, what would you do? You would begin to have a relationship with me. You would call me, invite me out for a meal, and get to know me. My point is - in order to know someone, we must communicate with them. Without that communication we will not have a relationship.
The same is true with God. If we want to know God and have a relationship with Him, then we must have converse with Him. That can only occur as we communicate with Him. This communication is called prayer.
My concern is that we really don’t know how to pray and if we ever wanted to unleash God’s power in our lives and in this church, we’re missing out, since prayer is one of the key ingredients. Nothing supernatural happens without prayer. Good and even great things can occur, but out-of-this-world miracles will not take place without prayer.
Prayer involves a relationship with God, humbling ourselves before God as we seek His will to be done. When we pray, we’re seeking to unleash God’s power.
Prayer is really so simple, yet there are so many aspects to prayer. Prayer includes adoration, worship, confession, submission, intercession, thanksgiving, asking, obedience, silence and listening. The majority of the time our prayers look like one way conversations with God. ‘God, this is my situation, I’ve done all I can, now get me out of my mess.’ Or we cry out to God, claiming He’s being unfair.
Periodically, we give thanks for what we have, but most of the time, we give God a list of needs we want answered - - now. When we don’t get it, we become angry.
Paul said we don’t know how to pray, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And God knows what the mind of the Spirit is – Romans 8:26. So when we’re struggling to pray, we know the Spirit is interceding / praying for us. That’s great news.
It’s great that the Spirit intercedes for us . . . now I want you to hear this next bit of great news. I’m not going to talk about it, but it’s so important. And I couldn’t just cut it off after 1 verse, so I had to include the entire section. It’s just too vital to gloss over it ~
34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died — more than that, who was raised — who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Isn’t that great! Just stop for a moment! Who is to condemn you? Not Jesus. He’s the One who died for you, but more than that, He was raised for you, He ascended for you and now He is at the right hand of the Father and is interceding for you, right there along with the Spirit! But let’s go on with what Paul wrote ~
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Folks, really this is why we pray. This is the access we have to come to God and call out His name. This is our confidence in coming to God. Even when things don’t work out our way, the Spirit and the Son are talking to the Father on our behalf.
Have you ever wanted to pray, but you weren’t sure how to pray or what to say? Maybe your heart was breaking from a tragedy, or you were overwhelmed with life, or there was a difficult decision to make or maybe you were blessed and you didn’t know how to thank God. What do you do? Simple, TALK to God!!
That’s right, talk to Him, let Him know you’re struggling. Let Him know your heart is breaking, that you’re confused, or that you’re thrilled. That’s the start of prayer.
When you have a best friend, you feel comfortable sharing your heart. If the words don’t come out right, you can say them over and over until they understand. God’s the same way, He wants to know what’s on your heart, soul and mind. And the great thing is, He understands, because He already knows.
I’ve discovered two different, yet similar ways to pray. These are kind of formulas. But, isn’t using a formula for prayer artificial? No, because the purpose of these formulas is to guide us into prayer. Think about your prayers, do they sound more like, “Please God, help me” or “please God, give me” or “God, I need this?” We add a few thank you’s hoping to sweeten the pot, hoping He’ll see us as appreciative and then reward us with what we want.
We add the occasional ‘forgive me’ prayer when we’ve been caught; and honestly that’s the extent of our prayer life. I may sound somewhat sarcastic, but I know all about these prayers, because I’ve tried them all. When we pray like that we usually end up quitting because we feel our prayers are ineffective.
Sometimes too, we feel our prayers are stale. They’re not bad, but we may feel we say the same thing over and are in a rut. If so, then use these to help you move forward a little.
One is the acronym ACTS. The other acronym interestingly is PRAY. And we will move through them this morning.
If you struggle getting started, you can remember one of these acronyms and use that as your guide.
Many people don’t realize part of prayer is worship or praising God. Notice that both acronyms start with a worshipful theme. Giving God adoration or praise. This means we begin our prayers acknowledging God’s goodness. When we start by praising God, we’re setting a tone for our prayer. It’s a reminder that we’ve entered into a time of intimacy with God. When we give God adoration and praise we have to slow down and hold off on our requests and focus our attention on God.
When we praise God, we’re reminded of His attributes. For example, God’s character is unchanging, He is love, compassion, faithful, just, gracious, forgiving, courageous, strong, powerful, a warrior . . . This reminds us God is an awesome God. And often times when we praise God, our hearts are softened as we experience the very words we are using to describe God.
While we’re praising God, we can also give thanks for the blessings we’ve received. Thanks for our loved ones, homes, clothes, material belongings, jobs, church and so on. There are a number of praise-filled Psalms. 8, 19, 23, 46, 95, 100, 148, 150
The 2nd portion of the prayer is CONFESSION or REPENTANCE. Those are the 2nd steps in both acronyms. On the surface it would seem that confessing or repenting is pretty obvious. We tell God about our sins. But, don’t lump them all together, break them down individually and confess those sins to God. Isaiah wrote, 2 your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. ~ Isaiah 59:2
Why not lump them all together? Because that’s the easy way out and God wants us to be open and honest about our sins. When we lump our sins together, it softens the impact. Instead of saying, “Lord, forgive me for my sins today,” we are forced to name them. This brings the gravity of our sins before our eyes. Remember, God already knows what we’ve done, so we’re not hiding anything from Him.
As a result, when we confess our sins, we have the opportunity to be cleansed. Some may feel as if a weight was lifted from their shoulders, we may be led to tears, or we may experience God’s amazing peace. Listen to these great words from the apostle John ~ 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:9
Those are great and powerful words from John about God’s nature and character.
In order to experience this, we must have true repentance, recognizing what we did was wrong. We must be truly sorry for our sin and have the desire to turn away from it and be willing to make matters right.
When we repent, we can experience God’s grace and forgiveness. If you ask from the heart and soul, know God has forgiven you. If your sin has been ongoing, then you can ask God, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to help you break that cycle of sin. As we continue to admit our sinfulness, we are often confronted with who we really are, and our desire to change our ways. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:17, If anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! Are we acting like we are that new creation in Christ?
In the ACTS acronym the T stands for THANKSGIVING. I often incorporate thanksgiving within the Praise or Adoration section. We give thanks to God for blessings in life, for answered prayer, spiritual blessings, material blessings, and relational blessings.
I want to look at the last 2 items in the PRAY acronym. A is for ASKING. You might wonder, if God already knows what’s going on in my life, why ask? We pray for a few reasons. James 4:2 tells us ‘we don’t receive, because we do not ask.’ You know what that means, if we want anything we must ask. When we ask God, we realize that what we thought we needed, isn’t really a need, it’s a want. And God doesn’t promise us to fulfill our wants.
We ask because we seek intimacy with God. Asking is how we communicate our needs. The only way to unleash God’s power in our lives is to ask. Remember, nothing happens unless you ask. We ask God to help us avoid evil and temptation. When we ask, we’re showing God we trust and are dependent upon Him. This is essential for us to grow in our Christian faith. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask for our daily bread.
God desires that we ask Him to supply us with our needs. In Philippians 4:6, Paul tells us, ‘to make our requests known to God.’ Our struggle with asking is that we believe that if we ask with sincerity, we should get what we want. That leads us into deep trouble and disappointment with God.
Because the greatest aspect of praying is the final step, YIELDING to God’s will. That is the most difficult, because we want what we want, and we want it now. In the gospel of John, Jesus tells us a number of times that we must pray in His name. In John 14:13-14, Jesus said, I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it. This does not mean we conclude our prayers in Jesus’ name, just for the sake of getting what we want, it means that when we pray we are truly seeking God’s will.
We can again look at the words of John in 1 John 5:14-15, when he wrote ~ 14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. — 1 John 5:14-15
We mess this one up a lot. We hear the part which says, “if we ask . . . He hears us . . . and if He hears us . . . we will get what we asked.” Friends that’s not what John said. He tells us if we ask according to His will . . . then God will hear us and since He hears us - - we know we will receive what we have asked of Him. Of course, the hard part is knowing the will of God.
Yielding to God is doing what Jesus did at Gethsemane. He prayed that He would not have to face the cross, yet He concluded that He would be obedient and follow God’s will. Seeking God’s will helps to transform our will into His will. We can rest in Him as we trust His word, power and love.
How do we know God’s will? By listening. He desires to speak to you, but if you don’t stop, you will never know what God wants you to do. In John 10:27, Jesus said, My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. If you are one of His sheep, you need to know the Master’s voice.
As we close, I want to mention a couple of other ways to approach prayer. I often pray out-loud. This helps me to stay focused on the prayer. When I pray silently, my mind wanders and pretty soon I’m thinking about groceries or anything other than prayer.
You can keep a prayer journal. Many people prefer to write out their prayers. For some people this helps them come a little closer to God, they feel more creativity and openness. Some people are better at writing out their thoughts. Remember, the Psalms are really prayers. Prayer is opening your soul to God, so your words don’t have to be fancy or polished. Let your words come from your soul.
Lastly, I read of someone who prays in 5 minute increments. They try to pray for 5 minutes every hour. Maybe as your day moves along, you can pray for 5 minutes about God’s awesomeness and praise Him. Later pray for another 5 minutes repenting, and so on. Or spend the day meditating on just one aspect of God.
Of course a great way to hear what God has to say to you is to read His word. I have read scripture and for the life of me, don’t believe I have ever seen that passage before. Stop and hold onto those words and ask God about what this means in your life. Stop and meditate on the meaning, because God has given you a message.
How often should you pray, hold onto these words from Paul, “Pray without ceasing.” In other words, we should have our hearts set on God, so that we can be in constant communion with Him. Is it possible to pray every second? NO. We pray not to get something out of God, but to draw closer and closer to Him.
Well friends, I have gone on long enough, and most of you are probably deeply in prayer. . . hoping I will stop. Hopefully, some of your questions about prayer are getting answered, or new ones have arisen. Please ask me, and I will help you find the answers. My hope is that we would realize our great need to seek God and draw closer to Him, so we can hear His voice. Prayer ~ Just do it.
