Love and the Angry Outsider
Romans 12:9-21
Lately Pat and I have been talking about taking a trip to Europe. It would be our first trip there. Anyone going to Europe faces a problem. You see, Europe isn’t like Texas; Europe is big. So, unless you plan a really long visit you have to limit where you go.
Pat would like to go to Italy and I, being an unabashed Anglophile, would like to go to England. I don’t have anything against Italy, but I do worry that I don’t know how to say, “Ketchup only on that cheeseburger, please” in Italian. I’ve actually thought that if we were to go to Italy, maybe we’d be lucky enough to fly home on a plane which was hijacked by a crazed Spice Girls fan who would make the plane fly to London in an attempt to force the girls back together. I’m thinking that a person could see a lot of England by the time Posh, Baby, Scary, Sporty, and Ginger returned from all over the world. Of course, there’s a downside: if that happened we might be forced to attend the concert.
Anyway, Italy has a lot to offer. There are magnificent churches, great art museums, and places of historical interest. I could see the coliseum where so many Christians died, visit the supposed site of Peter’s crucifixion, or go to Manheim prison where Paul would spend his last days before being executed. Yes, the early church suffered greatly in Italy.
But that raises a question.
You know that Jesus commanded his followers to love. You know that the early church was famed for its love. One critic actually marveled that the Christians loved each other even before they met. Yet, so many hated them. What was that all about; after all, doesn’t everybody love a lover? Why were these men and women who were famed for their love tossed to the lions?
It’s a question which we can answer only if we remember something about the character of Christian love. Remember, agapé love, the love to which Christians aspired, involved the mind more than the heart. It didn’t reject feelings but it sure wasn’t driven by them. It’s great aim was to seek the best for the other. As Barclay described it, agapé always seeks a person’s “highest good.” Now, when you hear that, remember that to the early Christians a person’s highest good always involved having a right relationship with God.
Today, however, we tend to think that a person’s highest good is self-affirmation. So, in our understanding, love involves making a person feel good about himself or herself. Love should build our self-esteem, we’re told. Not only does love mean never having to say you’re sorry, it means never saying you should be sorry.
Last week over 2500 Episcopalians gathered in Dallas to discuss what they should do in the face of the recent election of a homosexual bishop. One of the attendees explained their position by referring to Jesus’ response to the woman caught in adultery. The minister explained, “Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more.’ Yet, some, out of a false understanding of love, represent Jesus as saying, ‘Neither do I condemn thee, go and accept yourself.’ But that’s not Christian love, Christian love is transforming love.”
Our culture’s understanding of love is so distorted that some expressions of Christian love are regularly described as hate-speech or acts of arrogance and bigotry. If there is a bias against Christianity in some areas of American life, and I believe there is, it is almost certainly focused against those Christians who are consistently carrying out the demands of love.
Very likely that’s what happened to the Roman Christians.
Because the Christians loved the Romans…
--they told him that their idols were false, that their mystery religions offered empty promises, that Jesus Christ was the only God-ordained way of salvation.
--they challenged their sensual lifestyles which endorsed adultery, homosexuality, and pedophilia.
--they defied the policies which permitted the deaths of unwanted infants through exposure to the elements or starvation. (In time they were considered enemies of the state because they rescued so many of these children.)
--they insisted that God’s love extended beyond the narrow boundaries of any one group or people.
--they violated the laws which would have silenced their witness to Jesus.
Although the resistance to Christianity was not as intense as it would eventually become, the Christians in Rome had probably encountered some who had treated them badly because of their commitment to Christ. If those who mistreated them weren’t officials of the state, they may have been neighbors, employers, masters (if the Christians were slaves), spouses or other family members. How were they to respond to such mistreatment? And, how should we?
The same principle which governed their relationship with those within the Christian community governed their relationship to those on the outside of that community. They were to relate to them with sincere love.
Genuine love should shape our response to those who oppose our Christian world-view.
Paul lists four priorities for those Christians attempting to lovingly respond to those who mistreat them.
1. Make being a blessing a priority. “Bless those who persecute you…”
The recommended response to persecutors may have been just a little shocking. Retaliation is so much a part of our make-up that we expect it to shape our response to mistreatment. Iraqi police sergeant al-Dharaji, who was injured in last week’s car bomb attack on the police station in Baghdad, said from his hospital bed, “We will have our revenge for this.” Most people hearing that would understand his sentiments.
It’s true that some cultures seem to have eradicated retaliation from their behavior. But they have done so for different reasons—not because of love for the persecutor. That’s a far different reason than a belief in the ineffectiveness of retaliation.
Of course, the Christian is not simply to avoid retaliation. The Christian is to bless the persecutor. In the Bible, “blessing” someone means to call down God’s best on them. How tough that is. If someone mistreats us, it is so tempting to secretly wish that God would somehow, in some way, mess with them, send just a few boils or frogs their way. Instead, we are wish for God to give them the very best.
There’s something implicit in this command that I don’t want us to miss. When we “bless” or when we “curse” our words are involved. Although Paul doesn’t say it directly he seems to be reminding us that we even need to watch what we say about those who have harmed us. Another tough assignment.
2. Make integrity a priority. “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.”
Integrity seems to be a central idea in this verse. If Christians were to repay evil with evil, how different would they be from the rest of the world. The command echoes what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount.
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' [44] But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, [45] so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. [46] For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? [47] And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? [48] You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48 (ESV)
At the heart of the word “perfect” in that passage is the idea of completeness. Just as God’s love is complete, extending to all, so, too, should his children’s love extend to all. For a child of God, a Christian, to engage in plots of revenge against an enemy is to deny his or her identity.
For you to spend your time imagining the downfall of your enemy is to entertain thoughts which should not be part of our mental repertoire. Yet, I have to admit such thoughts sometimes find fertile soil in my mind.
That’s when we need to remember the second part of this call to give priority to living with integrity. Paul says, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.”
“Be careful” could be translated as “Give careful thought to…” The idea seems to be that we should give some thought to how we live before others. Revenge and retaliation are often carried out thoughtlessly, Paul wanted his readers to carefully consider how their Christian convictions ought to shape their behavior.
Of course, this isn’t a call to be disingenuous in our actions; sincere love wouldn’t allow that. But it is a reminder that our claims are often assessed by our actions. Of course, as Douglas Moo points out, the outside world does not set the standard for Christian behavior; instead, Christians are to live their good lives before the world. Some of those good things Christians do are seen as good by the world, but some good things will not be immediately seen as good.
Nothing fuels the argument of the critic of Christianity like Christians who don’t act like Christians. Paul is calling us to live with integrity even before those whose goal is our destruction.
3. Make peace a priority. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
That may come as a surprise to some. There are Christians who might make us wonder if one of the gifts of the Spirit might be the gift of pugnaciousness. Some Christians approach the non-Christian world spoiling for a fight.
Now, Paul seems to recognize that there are times when conflict is inevitable, but he warns against a demeanor which is unnecessarily abrasive. There are enough genuine sources of conflict in a culture dominated by non-Christian values that we don’t have to create issues. We need to realize that it’s one thing to defend our right to live by our core beliefs and values and quite another to insist there must be a crèche on every courthouse lawn.
Now, I know some of you may disagree with what I’m about to say and that’s okay. If we can’t disagree in a Baptist church, where can we? I think that when Judge More of the Alabama Supreme Court placed that Ten Commandments monument in the court house he provoked an unnecessary conflict. At home, at school, at the workplace, there will be times when we have to take a stand, to risk offending people who don’t agree with us but that should happen only when we have no other way to maintain our integrity as Christians.
Usually, when Christians face an opponent, they try to completely discredit that opponent. Imagine the impact on a critic trying to discredit Christianity if we were to begin our response by saying, “Of course, I don’t agree with your fundamental premise, but you do have a couple points which have merit.”
4. Make transformation a priority. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’
“To the contrary,
‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;
for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’”
Hey, now that sounds good. Heaping hot, burning coals on your enemies head. Now you’re talking, Paul. Wouldn’t that fulfill a lot of fantasies? Talk about your bad hair day. If only Paul hadn’t said, “When it comes to pay-back, don’t.”
No matter how unjustly we have been treated, revenge should not find a place on our agenda. Notice how Paul addresses his readers in affectionate terms, “Beloved.” Maybe he does so because he is sympathetic with their pain and understands their desire to see some kind of justice here and now. Yet, he calls for them to have patience. They are to leave the matter in God’s hands.
Christians do believe there will be a final accounting, that everyone will face the Judge of the universe to have his or her fate pronounced. There may be delays and continuances but the Day is coming. Hurting Christians who long for justice can take some comfort in that. Yet, there’s a kind of fly in the ointment, Christians also believe in a bothersome thing called “forgiveness.” In fact, the Christian is only able to look forward to that Day of Judgment because we believe our sins have already been judged, judged on the Cross of Christ. We believe he received the punishment which should have been ours.
What if our enemy, the one who has been so cruel to us, should come to faith in Christ? Lets make this a little less personal. Suppose, for example, that Saddam, in his wanderings to elude capture, should come across a New Testament. Suppose he should read it and become convinced, contrary to all he had ever been taught, that Christ is the Son of God, that He died on the cross and rose again, that He is the way of salvation. Now, suppose further that this brutal dictator should place his faith in Christ. According to the New Testament he would be forgiven, accepted as a child of God, made our brother in Christ. Now, suppose the same thing should happen to your worst enemy.
That’s hard for some of us to imagine. Yet, if loving your enemy means anything, if wanting God’s best for your enemy really means wanting God’s best, we will want that for our enemy.
I suspect that’s why Paul won’t allow his readers to simply sit back and wait for God’s judgment to fall on their enemies. They are not just to avoid taking revenge, they are actually to act with positive kindness toward their enemies. Remember what he says, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.”
One commentator pointed out that this covers meeting the basic needs of life. How easy it would be to watch our enemy starve, how satisfying it would be. Paul says we can’t; we would have to intervene.
The word translated as feed is literally “to feed with morsels.” It’s the word used to describe how you might feed a young child, breaking off small pieces and placing them in the child’s mouth. It certainly suggests giving personal attention; but there’s something more. The image also reminds us of a custom which was widespread in Paul’s day among some of the desert peoples, a custom which would have probably been known in a cosmopolitan place like Rome. If a host were to invite an enemy to his home or tent for a feast, that enemy could go knowing that the laws of hospitality would keep him safe. And, if during the meal, the host should take a morsel of food and offer it to his enemy, it would signal a desire to end hostilities, a desire to become friends.
This is what was behind Jesus offering Judas the morsel or “sop” during the Passover meal on the night before the crucifixion. It was a final offer of friendship which Judas refused.
So, Paul is saying we should try to make friends of our enemies. We should give priority to transforming the relationship.
But, if that’s so, what is all this “coals of fire…on his head” business?
I’ve seldom run across a passage over which the commentators are more evenly divided. There are two basic interpretations.
--One says “heaping coals of fire” refers to God’s judgment being heaped on your enemy. According to those who hold this view, each time your enemy greets your act of kindness with harshness or cruelty he only adds more judgement to his account. Frankly, in my opinion, for Paul to suggest that Christians should derive satisfaction from this just doesn’t fit in with what’s been said so far.
--For this reason, I prefer the other interpretation which sees “coals of fire” as either warm feelings of gratitude or shame. According to those who hold this view, each time you respond to your enemy’s harshness or cruelty with kindness you erode away some of the hostility. The New Living Bible’s paraphrase has this idea in mind, “Instead, do what the Scriptures say: ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you.’ Again, the goal is to transform the relationship.
Paul knows there are those who will receive the acts of kindness and continue to remain hostile. That’s a fact of life. Yet, we are to live in the hope that the warmth of loving kindness will, perhaps, thaw the coldest heart.
When that happens, we will have won a great victory, a twofold victory. On the one hand, we will have had victory over our natural tendencies to respond to mistreatment with hatred and revenge. We will have not been overcome by evil.
And because we have chosen to act benevolently toward our enemy, we will have won another victory—a victory which in some cases might actually result in our enemy becoming our friend. But, in any case, we will have overcome evil with good.
Some Observations on Responding to Our Enemies
Before I conclude I want to take a moment to offer some final observations on responding to our enemies with sincere love.
1. We can respond to an enemy with sincere love only to see no positive response.
There are hard cases whose hatred of Christ and Christianity know no bounds. And sometimes those hard cases may be in your family or among your acquaintances at work or school.
2. Nothing in the Christian call to respond to our enemies with sincere love demands that we stay in harm's way.
Shortly after the end of the first century the church began to wrestle with this issue. In time it wisest leaders concluded that God did not demand his followers to stay in danger zones. If forced to defend their faith in the face of death, they should do so; but, if given an opportunity to escape to safety, they should take it.
There may be times when the church needs to stand with these people to help them get settled in a new life.
3. Sincere love in response to an abusive enemy is a noble goal to which we should all aspire but failure to achieve that goal is an almost universal experience.
It’s a rare Christian who never struggles with forgiving some enemy. When we understand the almost universal experience of failure, even among the saintliest Christians, we realize that our experience does not mark us as spiritually warped. The possibility of failure doesn’t excuse us from striving toward the goal; it reminds us of our continuing dependence upon God’s grace.
4. As with so much associated with a life directed by Christian love—agapé love, treating our enemies with benevolence begins more with a resolution rooted in a new way of thinking than with our emotions, no matter how powerful they may be at the moment.
Conclusion
Paul began this chapter with a call to thoughtful commitment, a commitment growing out of a renewed mind transformed by Christ and living out the implications Christian world-view.
One of the most vivid reminders of the radical nature of that transformation is seen in the Christian approach to enemies.
This same passage teaches us to show love to those within the Christian community. We fail if we don’t have that love. We also fail if we have only love for one another and have no love for those on the outside.
Treating our enemies with benevolence is one of the greatest challenges we’ll ever face. At the same time, it provides one of the greatest opportunities to demonstrate that our whole lives have been changed by Christ.
