Rejection means to cast aside; to throw away; to put side.
It can refer to a person or a thing as if not up to some standard.
When you reject a person, it shows him or her that he is unacceptable, of no value, doesn't belong, unwanted, can't fit in and unloved.
Rejection communicates this message through a disgusted look, disdain, an impatient answer, a snub or through silence.
Rejection is one of the most common tools that the devil uses to destroy our lives.
It can attack any person whether young or old, rich or poor.
It can be deeply rooted and woven into their identities since childhood.
It can destroy our self-esteem and prevent us from accomplishing our God-given purposes in life.
It can happen in many forms.
For instance, you might be passed over at work for a promotion you deserved.
Or a group of people rejected your presence or your ideas.
Whatever the case, we've all experienced some kinds of rejection and we know it hurts.
In fact, many people who have faced rejection and abuse as a child grow up with unresolved emotional wounds.
And these wounds can bring about a bunch of other sins such as unforgiveness, envy, blaming God, jealousy and many others.
Those spiritual wounds when not dealt with are open doors for the evil spirits to invade and occupy.
Here are other symptoms of Rejection:
(I took this from great Bible study.com)
* Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren't, in order to be accepted)
* The tendency to reject others, so that you aren't the first one to be rejected
* A tendency to always wonder if a person rejects or accepts you
* The need to fit in or be accepted by others and be a part of everything
* Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone
* Inability to be corrected or receive constructive criticism
* A feeling of being starved for love even though a lot of people loves you or just don't fit in
* A tendency to blame God ("Why did He give me this big nose? Why did God make me so short?")
* A sense of pride that says, "How dare they reject me!"
* Opinionated personality and the need to be right about things
* Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness
* Envy, jealousy, and even hate can be rooted in rejection
* Fear of confrontation (because your identity is based upon what they think of you)
These and more are just some of the symptoms of rejection.
But here is the truth.
We have been created to be loved, to be accepted and appreciated by everyone of us.
Rejection therefore opposes the very nature that God created in us.
Only God can be trusted as the source of our real identity.
God never wanted us to feel rejected or abandoned.
He wants us to be loved and accepted.
In fact, the Bible states it this way.
Psalm 27:10(NIV) " Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."
Think about it. Even if our own parents or family members will forsake us, God will always receive us and will never abandon us.
Therefore, your identity as a person does not come from others who rejected you.
Your identity comes from God who created you and loves you so much.
And so, if you feel this spirit of rejection in you, there is hope. Reject it.
You can be changed by the grace of God.
As we continue our study in the Book of Judges, we are going to focus on the life of Jephthah who was rejected by his family as a child but he was able to overcome the symptoms of rejection and rose up to become the next ruler of Israel.
WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE LIFE OF JEPHTHAH
1. HE WAS REJECTED
Judges 11:1-3 (NIV) “Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute. 2 Gilead’s wife also bore him sons, and when they were grown up, they drove Jephthah away. “You are not going to get any inheritance in our family,” they said, “because you are the son of another woman.” 3 So Jephthah fled from his brothers and settled in the land of Tob, where a gang of scoundrels gathered around him and followed him.
According to verse 1, Jephthah the Gilead was a mighty warrior.
In other Bible translation, he is called "mighty man" because of his bravery, his valor, his strength, his ability and efficiency in battle.
Hence, he was being identified as a very courageous and powerful man.
He was the kind of a man who did what needed to be done in every situation that he faced in life.
When there are oppositions against him, he will never back down.
He was an inborn fighter, a leader, a strong and able man.
Yet, there was something in his past that happened that he has no control of.
His father's name was "Gilead" and the text says that this man Jephthah was the son of a harlot.
It means that Gilead was a man who frequented prostitution dens so that one became pregnant and bore him a son named Jephthah.
This was a big factor to his rejection in the family circle.
He was therefore considered as an illegitimate son of Gilead.
And so, we can learn that Jephthah was a man with an extraordinary skill yet being haunted by his problematic past.
You see, that is always true in life.
Each of us have areas in our lives that are both problematic and extraordinary.
We often show off our inborn talents and abilities, yet we go to great lengths to conceal our inborn problems and difficulties as well.
This is what it means to be humans.
There is no one who is perfect.
Each one has a bright side and a dark side.
No matter how far up the ladder of holiness we climb, we will still be sinners and we will still desperately need a Savior.
However, it is said in verse 2 that Jephthah's father also had children with his wife.
When these legitimate children reached maturity, they all turned against Jephthah and forced him out of the family home.
He was rejected by his own brothers.
Apparently, their father is dead and they refused to share their inheritance with Jephthah.
Probably, they were motivated by greed.
With Jephthah out of the way, there was more money to be divided among them.
Besides, whenever Jephthah is around, it reminds them of their father's infidelity.
Hence, such hatred for Jephthah has been there all their lives.
They may even envied him since he was strong, able and efficient man.
It represented everything they could never be.
And so, they kicked him out of the family inheritance.
But that incident made him stronger than ever.
This spirit of rejection was not able to take hold of him.
This is part of the ripple effect of sin that we talked about several weeks ago.
Jephthah paid a price for the sins of his father who brought an illegitimate child into the world.
That child lived in the stigma or the shame of his father's sin his whole life.
His life was scarred by the actions of his father and his half-brothers, but somehow, he did not stoop to the same level of evil that he saw in them.
Somehow, Jephthah managed to break out from the cycle of sin in his family and became a better man than others.
That is the Good News that we need to always proclaim.
The curse of sin or cycle of sin can be broken specially if Christ comes in and dwell in our hearts.
Just because that you have been rejected in the past does not mean that you will have the tendency to reject others.
No way.
Rebuke that spirit of rejection in the name of Jesus.
You have an opportunity to change and stop the curse of sin in your children and your children's children right now.
There is power, there is healing, there is grace in the Word of God through the Holy Spirit.
Let us be clear about who are we IN CHRIST?
WE HAVE BEEN ADOPTED INTO HIS FAMILY. 1 John 3:1 (NIV) "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
Even if your mother and father in the flesh have rejected you, yet, God has adopted you in Christ.
You are now part of God's wonderful family.
You have a new identity.
Look at the word "lavished".
It means His love has been abundantly showered to you.
WE ARE MADE JOINT HEIRS WITH CHRIST. Romans 8:17 " 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."
Not only are you adopted in God's family but now, you are heirs with Christ.
That means, you have great inheritance, great possessions that are out of this world.
You are a beneficiary of all the wonderful things ahead in heaven.
WE ARE MADE TO SIT IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES WITH CHRIST. Ephesians 2:6 (NIV) "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,"
Not only are you adopted and heirs with Christ, but seated with Christ to posses authority and power in the heavenly realms.
This is your position in Christ.
No one can take this away from you.
No wonder, we can overcome the spirit of rejection.
Let me give you an example from the Old Testament.
There are many but let us just focus on the life of David.
He experienced the same rejection in the family.
When Samuel came to Jesse's house to anoint one of his sons as king of Israel, they did not even think enough of David to call him to appear before the prophet.
He looked so rugged and so small but this rejection did not define him.
He was able to break free from such feeling of being hated and abandoned by his entire family.
After some time, he became a giant slayer and was promoted to be the next King of Israel.
You too much kill that giant called rejection in the name of Lord but just one sling shot.
Then, when it is done, you have to cut off its head so that it can never spew poison anymore.
Our Lord Jesus Himself experienced rejection from His own family.
When He claimed to be the Messiah, no one believed Him.
In fact, He was mocked by his half-brothers and at one point, all His family and friends thought He was crazy.
Mark 3:21 (NIV) " 21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”
Imagine, as he was serving the Lord, His own family telling him that he is out of His mind.
But it not deter Him.
He kept on doing what God wants Him to do and it was only after the resurrection that they all believed.
In the same manner, you might feel rejected and abandoned at this moment by your family.
But if you are saved, justified and sanctified by the blood of the lamb, you are now a member of God's own family.
Our Heavenly Father will never turn you away.
Your brothers and sisters in the Lord will never fail to love you, forgive you, and stand by you.
That is why there is a song, "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God!"
Then, in verse 3, we read that 3 So Jephthah fled from his brothers and settled in the land of Tob, where a gang of scoundrels gathered around him and followed him."
He left the family home and went to a place called "Tob".
Where is Tob? What kind of a place is it?
Little is know of Tob except it was located east of the Jordan River in the country of Syria.
The verse says that a gang of scoundrels gathered around him and followed him.
Other translations refer to these men as "vain men" who were probably unemployed, bankrupt and empty and were turned off by society.
They were probably mostly idle men looking for something exciting to fill their time.
They saw Jephthah as their leader who could give them purpose in life and they decided to flock to him.
This is the same thing that David did when he went out running away from King Saul.
He was the ragtag leader among a band of misfits and outcasts fro the society.
It seems that Jephthah was able to influence them for good rather than allowing these men to influence him for evil.
2. HE MADE A REQUEST
Judges 11:4-6(NIV) “4 Sometime later, when the Ammonites were fighting against Israel, 5 the elders of Gilead went to get Jephthah from the land of Tob. 6 “Come,” they said, “be our commander, so we can fight the Ammonites.”
It was amazing to note that while Jephthah was living his life in exile, he was making the best of his situation.
Probably, he was something of a Robin Hood kind of figure, always protecting the poor and the innocent against the evils of society.
It was then that he was approached by his own people looking for him and presenting an astonishing request.
Let us examine what it was.
The verse says that the Ammonites were fighting against Israel.
That means that the nation at that time was under attack.
The children of Ammon were the descendants of Abraham's nephew, Lot who had a sexual relationship with one of his own daughters after they left Sodom and Gomorrah.
The Ammonites were therefore cousins of the Jews but were also perpetual enemies.
And so, Israel was under attack and they do not have a strong leader who can guide them to victory over their enemies.
And so, in verses 5, we find that the elders of Gilead went to get Jephthah asking him to come back and become their "commander".
This word also means, "captain", "chief" or "ruler".
At one point, they asked him to leave, now they come to him asking him to lead!
What a change of mind!
What a change of direction.
In the same manner, the call to service or leadership might come without notice.
The doors of ministry can open anytime.
There will be a lot of opportunities ahead for service in His kingdom.
All we have to do is to be ready and prepared to answer His call when it comes.
Our duty is to serve the Lord faithfully wherever we are assigned and growing where we are planted.
Then, as he used us, we will trust Him more when, where and how He sees fit.
Doing His will therefore should always be our first priority.
Our hearts must always be available to Him.
Look at verses 7 and 8
7 Jephthah said to them, “Didn’t you hate me and drive me from my father’s house? Why do you come to me now, when you’re in trouble?” 8 The elders of Gilead said to him, “Nevertheless, we are turning to you now; come with us to fight the Ammonites, and you will be head over all of us who live in Gilead.”
Here, we find Jephthah recounting to the elders their past attitude towards him.
He reminded them that they were the ones who asked him to leave.
Now, they wanted him to come back and be their ruler.
But the elders in verse 8 re-iterated their promise that Jephthah will be their "head" if he will only come back with them and deliver them from their enemies.
That word "head" means "the top, the summit, the chief."
They were offering him control over their own lives and government.
It was a very unusual offer to somebody who has been outside of their circle of society and allow him to gain control and supremacy over them.
And probably, Jephthah felt vindicated for all the the things they had done to him.
The rejection was turned into an all out reception, acceptance and approval.
We can also learn something from this situation.
When they had no use for him and things were going well, they rejected him outright.
However, when the enemy came and they have no way to turn, they ran to him for help.
I guess that is the way many people treat the Lord.
When everything is fine, they refuse to be faithful.
They refuse to serve Him.
They refuse to honor His Word.
They treat Him as an unwanted intruder in their lives.
They treat Him as the spare tire on the car of their life.
He is to stay in the trunk and keep quiet, but He better be ready when they have a flat tire and pull Him out!
What a shame!
We should not treat Him like that!
We must always walk in the will of the Lord every single day.
Then, when bad days come, we have the confidence that He will always walk with us regardless of the troubles ahead.
Why is it importance to walk IN THE LIGHT?
TO PREVENT US FROM WALKING IN DARKNESS.
John 8:12(NIV) 12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
As you follow the Lord, you will never walk in darkness.
As you follow the Lord, you will have the light of light.
As you follow the Lord, you will never be overcome with the spirit of rejection, with the spirit of hopelessness, with self-pity or feeling of insecurity.
As you follow the Lord, you will allow others to correct you and you will receive constructive criticism.
TO KEEP OUR FEET FROM STUMBLING.
Psalm 56:13 (NIV) “For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."
As we walk with God, our feet will not stumble but remain steady, firm and fixed on the path God has given to us.
That means you fix your gaze on Jesus, the source of your true identity in Christ.
You need not have to fit in to be accepted by others, you know that you are loved by God regardless whether these people accept you or not.
You need not have to think what they think about you because you know that God thinks well of you because of Christ in you.
TO WALK IN THE LIGHT OF HIS PRESENCE. Psalm 89:15(NIV) " Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord."
As you walk in the presence of God, you know your identity depends upon Christ.
And so, you could walk in confidence, in assurance of faith and in full determination that all will be well because of Christ in you.
Story:
Let me tell you the story of Kyle Winkler, the founder of Kyle Winkler Ministries, a media and teaching ministry broadcasting on the Christian Television Network and various on-line outlets.
He related in his latest article found in Charisma magazine how he overcome this spirit of rejection early in life.
"The sharp pain of rejection scarred much of my childhood.
I began my elementary years with extreme shyness.
I was so timid, in fact, that I was afraid to read aloud in class and didn’t apply myself in social or athletic situations.
I became a loner and was misunderstood by my peers and dreaded the things most that age live for: recess and P.E. class.
I prayed every day that the coach wouldn’t allow us to choose teams because I’d have to overhear why I shouldn’t be chosen and would often be the last one standing.
With this, I entered my adult life with an expectation of rejection.
I never pursued friendships because I was too afraid to feel the pain of someone who didn’t want to be my friend.
If I walked into a room and noticed people laughing, I automatically assumed they were laughing at me.
It was pitiful.
My everyday life was controlled by voices of the past and irrational feelings.
But God has a habit of taking nobodies and turning them into somebodies.
Not long after my salvation at 16 years old, I understood that one day I would be in front of others to preach the gospel. It all seemed impossible then—for a boy once afraid to read aloud to have the confidence to speak to crowds.
Still, I pursued this call and knew that if I was to see its fulfillment, I had to find freedom from my fear of rejection.
So, I turned to God’s Word for help.
Today, I am living the realization of God’s call and often speak to crowds via live events, television and Internet broadcasts, and writing.
I’m pleased to say that I’m not the fearful person I once was.
But my freedom didn’t happen overnight; it came through a decade of applying the following principles of God’s Word."
He now have a world-wide web ministry called www.kylewinkler.org that had helped thousands delivered from the lies, attacks and accusations of the enemy.
So far, we have learned that Jephthah was rejected by his family.
But he did not allow the spirit of rejection to dominate his thinking.
Then, the elders of Israel made a request for him to come back and be their leader.
We will look at the third part.
3. HE RECEIVED A GOOD RESPONSE.
Judges 11:9-11(NIV) “9 Jephthah answered, “Suppose you take me back to fight the Ammonites and the Lord gives them to me—will I really be your head?” 10 The elders of Gilead replied, “The Lord is our witness; we will certainly do as you say.” 11 So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and commander over them. And he repeated all his words before the Lord in Mizpah.”
Here we will find the amazing response of Jephthah.
In verse 9, he had to make sure.
So, he asked them again. "Will I really be your head?"
They confirmed it.
The elders of Gilead replied, "The Lord is our witness: we will certainly do as you say."
And so, Jephthah consented to go with them and to lead them to victory.
His treatment of them is vastly different from their treatment of him!
Even though they abused him and treated him like dirt in the past, yet, Jephthah was not bitter.
He was not envious or jealous.
There was no hatred in his heart or feeling any confrontational.
He was able to get over the things they did to him.
He rose above his hurts and did his work well.
He overcome the mean-spirited actions they did to him and allowed God's hand to work in his life.
How did he do that?
Because Jephthah was a man who honored the Lord in his life.
Even if they exiled him from Israel, yet he was never an exile from God's presence.
In the same manner, whether we will accept it or not, how we treat others is a direct reflection of the place God holds in our hearts.
That means, if we treat others well, it only shows that we have a great relationship with God.
And if we treat others poorly, it shows we have a very poor relationship with God.
If we love Him as we should, we will love others as we should.
We need to reject false thoughts and feelings with God's Word.
Take every thought captive to obey Christ.
Then, in verse 11, we are told that "Jephthah uttered all his words before the Lord in Mizpah."
The word "Mizpah" means a "watchtower."
It was there that Jacob and Laban made an agreement that they would not attack the other.
They called upon the Lord to witness their covenant.
That is what Jephthah is doing here.
He is calling on the Lord to look upon the promise made to him by his people.
He is calling on the Lord to watch over him as he goes out to battle.
He is acknowledging the Lord and looking to Him for the help he will need to win the victory.
He knows that any victory they might achieve will only come from the Lord.
In the same manner, any victories we might enjoy in this life will only come from the Lord.
Victory does not come from us, our efforts, our abilities.
Victory comes from a relationship that is centered on God and in Him alone.
How can we gain VICTORY over the world?
WHEN WE HAVE BEEN BORN OF GOD.
1 John 5:4-5 (NIV) 4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."
You are an overcomer because you have been born of God.
Let Christ come into your heart and live for Him.
WHEN WE HAVE OUR FAITH IN THE LORD JESUS.
1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV) "57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
WHEN WE DO HIS WILL TO THE VERY END.
Revelation 2:26(NIV) "To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations."
END...
