Series: Be Happy
Title: Happiness is a Choice
Text: Philippians 4:1-9
Truth: Happiness is a choice.
Life Question: How do we choose happiness?
INTRODUCTION
Many years ago an elderly man immigrated to the United States from one of the Communist bloc countries of Eastern Europe. After his papers were processed he found his way to a New York cafeteria where he sat down and waited for someone to bring him a menu and take his order. No one came. Eventually a woman with a full tray of food approached, realized the old man’s dilemma, and explained how American cafeterias work.
“Start at the beginning,” she said kindly. “Look at all the choices that are available, decide what you want, and just reach out and take it. When you get to the end, you’ll be told how much you must pay for the things that you’ve chosen.”
The old man was a bit of an old-world philosopher, and it wasn’t long after he had settled in his new home that he made this observation: “Life in America is a lot like that New York cafeteria. The options are endless, but you’ll never get what you want if you sit around and wait for someone to deliver it. Anything is possible (a job, education, a home, a car) but you have to be willing to get up and go after it. And in the end, you have to pay the price of your choices.”
I agree with this assessment; don’t you? Choices and outcomes, however, are not limited to material things like homes and cars; they include our emotions and attitudes. All of us want to be happy, but are we willing to pay the price of right choices?
In the last sermon I made the point that God is a happy God, and we are to be godlike. Since God is happy, His followers are to be happy. Today I am saying that happiness is a choice. Happiness is the consequence of our perspective, thoughts, and actions.
I am not making a distinction between happiness and joy. Randy Alcorn in his book Happiness makes a convincing case that Biblical translations of the past and the historical writings of Christians did not make a distinction between happiness and joy. The contrast between happiness and joy is a decision of modern times. He contends this has weakened the attractiveness of the Christian life to unbelievers and misrepresented the Good News gospel.
Though I borrow from his helpful book, my text is one that he mentions in passing. Paul wrote the New Testament letter of Philippians while being under house arrest in Rome. This human dynamo of evangelistic zeal was confined to a hut in the very city he had for years desired to evangelize. On top of that, he received a leader from the church at Philippi with a financial gift for his needs and the news that the church was becoming divisive. He composed this letter to address the conflict in the church which centered around two women. His basic answer to the church was that the most important thing to the church is the Gospel, the message about Jesus Christ. Everyone is to submit their preferences to the priority of spreading the gospel through verbal witness and visual lifestyle. To do this effectively requires unity in the church.
Two women, Euodia and Syntyche, whose names mean Success and Lucky, were fussing with one another; we do not know why. One commentator speculated it was not over the gospel but the way to witness or live the gospel. They were asserting their rights in a harsh and overbearing way, which diverted the church from being united in spreading the gospel. Very gently Paul told the church to help these two sisters in Christ to resolve their problem. How different that is to the way the church so often responds to conflict in the church today. It seems to me that we most often pick sides and divide up into camps. Paul did not pick sides. He wanted them to be on the same side and together fix the problem.
In chapter 4 Paul wraped up his discussion about how this problem was to be solved. The members of the church could choose happiness, peace, love, and forgiveness. These choices are the consequences of perspective, thought, and actions.
In chapter 4:1-3 I want you to see Paul’s perspective:
So then, in this way, my dearly loved brothers, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord, dear friends. (2) I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to agree in the Lord. (3) Yes, I also ask you, true partner, to help these women who have contended for the gospel at my side, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers whose names are in the book of life.
Notice Paul’s viewpoint of the church: they are family. He was not a CEO with the leverage to hire and fire. He was a close, loving relative. This perspective resulted in a very different way in which he called them to think and act.
How did he view the two women at the heart of the controversy? He did not see them negatively but positively. They were his true partners and co-workers in the most important work any of us can do: spreading the Good News of salvation in Jesus Christ. The word “contend” is an athletic term. They were his team-mates in his efforts to successfully proclaim Christ.
One of the striking features of this text is how it gushes with warm feelings for everyone. They were not just Paul’s brother; they were “my dearly loved brothers.” They brought him joy in the present, and they would serve as his victor’s reward in the presence of the Lord Jesus. This stacking of loving words ends with him calling them “dear friends.” These abundant affectionate words reminded them of Paul’s deep love for them and his deep concern for their present and future. What was Paul’s perspective? He loved the Philippian church and expected the best out of them.
The church was to stand firm in the Lord. There was not an opinion or emotion or circumstance that exceeded their devotion and faithfulness to the Lord. They continued in the beliefs and behaviors that reflect the person of the Lord Jesus.
Paul called the two women to “agree in the Lord.” This goes back to the magnificent description in chapter 2 where it describes Jesus’ mindset as willing to take the form of a slave and become obedient to death on a cross on our behalf. In other words, their worldview taught them to look out for the interests of others.
Martin Luther said, “You can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair.” Our choice of perspective and what we choose to think leads us either toward Christ or away from Christ, and that means we are either choosing to go toward happiness or away from happiness.
In verses 4-7 Paul called the believers to live a genuinely devoted life to God: they were not to simply be religious; they were to demonstrate lives which longed for God and lived for God. For the Old Testament believer there were three ways to reflect this genuine love and life for God: rejoicing in the Lord, prayer, and thanksgiving. Psalm 64:10 says, “the righteous one rejoices in the Lord” as they, in Psalm 95:2, “come before him with thanksgiving” to pray, in Psalm 61:1-4 in His “sanctuary” (Ps. 61:1-4). We see this way of life encouraged in his letter.
(4) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (5) Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. (6) Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Paul commanded the Philippians to rejoice. “Joy” refers to an optimistic, positive disposition. The word is “’re’ joice,” which means “to turn back to joy.” The word and the command means this is to be cultivated until it becomes the habit of our lives. The word “always” means we are to approach life with this response in all things every day, when the day is full of sunshine and when the day is dark.
This is not done in our power; it is done in the Lord as we stay connected to Him through spiritual disciplines; He then begins to spill in and out through our lives.
Lawrence of Arabia went to Paris after World War I with some of his Arab friends. They saw the Arc de Triomphe and Napoleon’s Tomb. What really caught their eyes, though, were the faucets on the bathtubs in the hotel rooms. They were amazed they could turn them on and an endless stream of water would come forth. When they were ready to leave Paris, he found the men trying to disconnect the faucets. When asked why they said, “It is so dry in Arabia. We need the faucets so we can have all the water we want.” Lawrence explained that the effectiveness of the faucets depended upon the immense water supply to which they were attached.
Joy is always a real possibility if we depend on the right source. So often we make the source of our joy some part of creation rather than the Creator. Paul’s secret to lasting joy is staying connected to Jesus.
As believers rejoice always in good times and bad times what others see is gentleness, graciousness. The word describes a person who chooses to suffer wrong rather than inflict wrong. This person gives others the benefit of the doubt. How much happier would your life be if you had been more gentle in your treatment of people?
We are to rejoice because the Lord is near, not worry because the Lord is near. Instead of worrying, pray and give thanks. The outcome of this consistent practice is the peace of God in your heart.
I have pointed out Paul’s perspective in verses 1-3 and his behavior in verses 4-7 as factors that contribute to this man’s joyfulness. Now notice his thought life in verses 8-9:
(8) Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things. (9) Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
The controlling phrase in verse 8 is “dwell on these things.” It describes a workman who carefully calculates before he begins his work; he takes in all the information and this shapes how he will act in performing his work. Make the habit of your thinking good thoughts.
When a thought comes to mind is it true? Paul does not mean “truth.” Some things that come to mind are true but they are not worthy of dwelling on. “True” thoughts are more the idea of, “Does it ring true or is it distorted?” The weather, the economy, an illness may all be true but dwelling on them is not helpful.
“Honorable” describes something which is valuable or worthy of respect. Are you giving yourself to something that has real value? That might change some TV viewing habits.
Do your thoughts lead you to conform to the holiness of God? Filling your mind with “just” thoughts will do this.
We are to have “pure” thoughts. Do not dwell on things that will corrupt you if you give attention to them. This is why the Bible is so insistent in Hebrews 12:15 “…that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it defiling man.” Dwelling on angry, bitter thoughts will defile us.
“Lovely” thoughts are more along the lines of admirable thoughts. The music we enjoyed in worship was lovely. It filled our minds with great and noble thoughts of God and His character. Dwelling on lovely thoughts is admiring the work I saw take place on Friday night by Dennis Mina and one of our Sunday school classes as they fed hungry people and then had church. They sang hymns and choruses, and a layman spoke to them about Jesus. It was lovely, admirable.
The word “commendable” is from the same category as the word “lovely.” It describes any conduct that is worth considering because it is praiseworthy. Yesterday, there was a Fox News story about a woman who received a liver transplant that saved her life. It came from a man who overheard one of her relatives speaking about it, and he thought someone should help. He was tested and discovered to be a match. They are getting married on October 15 of this year. It was a beautiful story of kindness and service and love.
It is no surprise if we habitually thought like this we would be happier people. Paul added to this the example of his life. He lived the life of love and service found in Jesus’ life. The standard we measure all our thoughts by to determine if they are true, honorable, just, lovely, pure, and commendable is the person of Jesus.
The biggest battleground is never reported on the evening news: it is the battle for your mind by the forces of Satan and the Holy Spirit. The devil knows if he can fill your mind with lies, impurity, worry, selfishness, and ingratitude he can make it a cesspool. A contaminated mind is not a joyful, happy mind. The battle is often won by the way we think so Paul commanded us to take control of our thought life and we will know peace because we will be aware of the God of peace in our presence.
Briefly, there are three lessons I want us to see in this passage about happiness.
1. Happiness is a choice of perspective.
David Brainerd (1718-1747) was a missionary to the Delaware Indians of New Jersey. He was orphaned at fourteen, and in college he endured debilitating tuberculosis. Though he suffered greatly, he had a fruitful ministry until his death at age twenty-nine. His diary was published after his death by Jonathan Edwards. Many great Christian leaders were impacted by his diary; people like John Wesley, Charles Wesley, and William Carey.
Because of his illness and suffering you would expect his diary to frequently refer to his pain, and it does. He uses the word 78 times and suffer and suffering 30 times. But what is so powerful about his diary is how many references he makes to his happiness in God and others. He uses happy and happiness 60 times, delight 50 times, pleased and pleasure 177 times, joy and enjoy 350 times. He uses the word blessed more than 200 times, often meaning happy.
He recalled kneeling in the woods to pray. He became so caught up in the presence of God that by the time he became aware of his surroundings the snow was a foot deep around him. He coughed and spattered the snow with blood and tissue from his lungs.
On his twenty-fourth birthday, racked with pain, Brainerd wrote: “This has been a sweet, a happy day to me.”
One painful day he wrote, “found some relief in prayer; loved, as a feeble, afflicted, despised creature, to cast myself on a God of infinite grace and goodness, hoping for no happiness but from Him…Toward night, I felt my soul rejoice that God is unchangeably happy and glorious.”
Bryce Scott is the pastor of the Cornerstone Indian Baptist Church in Little Axe, OK. His twelve-year-old daughter Rachel has been diagnosed with leukemia. At a pastor’s conference we were asked to pray for her healing. Bryce reported that Rachel is the one filled with hope and faith and joy. Her attitude has challenged and convicted her mom’s and dad’s faith.
If a young man devoid of modern medicine and dying of an excruciating disease could make choices which brought him happiness in Christ, and if a twelve-year-old girl can be positive and happy while dealing with treatments and a life-threatening illness, surely we can too.
If you feel hopeless that what I am saying may be true for some but not for you, then I would like to give you a little perspective. The world thought it needed a military Messiah: God sent them a suffering servant. No one would have thought that His death by crucifixion would release the power of grace to transform the world. Paul said he discovered in his weakness the power of God at work in his life. Do you not see that your hopelessness is the first sign of hope? You are looking in the wrong direction. Look to the God who is near; it will change your perspective.
2. Happiness is a choice of actions.
To become happy, we must do what happy people do. Randy Alcorn says, “Those who sit around waiting to be happy shouldn’t hold their breath—it will likely be a long wait.”
God’s gift of happiness is not based on what we would like to do or hope to do or even plan to do—only on what we actually do. It is not enough to know that happiness comes from knowing, loving, and serving God; we need to take action by reading the Bible, being a part of a small group Bible study, joining a church, and finding a place to serve God by serving others.
In Genesis 4:6-7 God says to Cain: (6) “Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you furious? And why are you downcast? (7) If you do right, won't you be accepted? But if you do not do right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must master it."
God referred to Cain’s feelings of anger and depression. God went on to say those feelings could be changed by changing behavior. Essentially, God told Cain that if he would take action to do what is right, it would change the way he felt.
We have minimal control over the way we feel, but we do have a choice over how we act. There is value in understanding why we feel the way we feel, but God has called us to not let feelings run our lives. The better way to live is to choose to act in ways which are reasonable and consistent with godly living.
Christian psychiatrist Frank Minirth and Paul Meier say in their book Happiness is a Choice, “You don’t do what you do because you feel the way you feel—you feel the way you feel because you do what you do.” In other words, your actions will determine how you feel. To become happy, do what happy people do.
3. Happiness is a choice of thought.
I have said before I covet Brady’s and Jan’s abilities to play instruments; I covet Elvis’ ability to clap on beat! They do those actions so effortlessly. It finally dawned on me that I do something like playing an instrument and I may be better than Brady or Jan or Elvis. I can type! I can type fast. I do nt even think about the typing. I think about what I want to say, and it just appears on the screen. You know why? Something called muscle memory. When we repeat something over and over--the muscles just react.
This is similar to how happiness works in the brain. The more joy or gratitude crosses our brains the more joy or gratitude possesses our attitudes. The more anger or fear crosses our brains the more that anger or fear becomes our default response to life situations.
When Paul said “dwell on these things” he did not say it in a tense of the verb that meant one time and then it was done. He said it in a tense of the verb that meant to do this continually, habitually. This does not happen automatically, but when we choose to do this over and over there will come a point where instinctively we will look at life from Christ’s perspective and choose to act godly.
You may be thinking that sounds like an enormous task; maybe it is. But how much do you want to be happy? Do you not think it is worth the effort even if it takes a long time to make it happen? Your family and your Christian friends certainly think it would be worth it for you to do this.
CONCLUSION
Armand Nicholi, professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard University, compared the life and work of Sigmund Freud to that of C.S. Lewis. Both are considered cultural giants who are known for their remarkable accuracy in observing human emotion and experience. Each man defined and experienced happiness very differently.
Freud’s experience and understanding came from his belief that all that really mattered was the physical or material. He did not believe in spiritual reality. From that view Freud believed that happiness was a matter of satisfying a person’s natural desires. Freud was pessimistic about attaining happiness because he knew the human appetite could never fully be satisfied. Money might meet one desire of a man but his appetites change. The average U.S. citizen’s buying power has doubled during the last four decades, yet studies report that the average American is not any happier, and is in fact, less happy than reported in studies conducted forty years earlier.
Freud’s life reflected his definition of happiness. His letters were increasingly filled with pessimism and depression. He even mentioned drug use as the only effective means of temporarily lifting his mood.
Early in life C.S. Lewis was also intensely pessimistic about the possibilities of finding happiness. Yet his biographers and friends said his life was profoundly transformed in his thirties. Lewis said, “What does not satisfy when we find it, must not be the thing we were desiring.” Lewis started looking beyond the material sources and discovered the source of happiness was not an idea but a Person. He found Christ. He wrote an entire book about this discovery entitled Surprised by Joy.
Happiness is a choice. I have not said it is easy or quick but I have said it is a reality for every believer, not because of our strength but Christ’s strength. The happy God wants His followers to be happy. The way to happiness is for us to choose Christ’s perspective, Christ’s actions, and Christ’s thoughts over our own.
1. Uncertain of source.
2. Gordon Fee, Paul’s Letter to the Philippians, p. 386.
3. Randy Alcorn, Happiness, p. 274.
4. Ibid, p. 276.
5. Minirth and Meier, Happiness is a Choice, p. 174.
