Live in Harmony with One Another
Romans 12:16
“Live in harmony with one another.” There are certain sounds in music, sounds necessary to make all but the most basic music, these sounds cannot be made by playing any single note. They can only be made when multiple notes or chords are played together. These pleasing musical textures are woven when different notes complement each other and work in conjunction with one another to create harmony. The Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkel, The Eagles, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers built careers on harmony.
We are in a new series where we are looking at the various one another commands in the New Testament. The very phrase, “one another” contains the idea of togetherness. So, as we go through the “one another” passages, we should not be surprised to find encouragements to unity, to fellowship, to harmony.
Such is the case with Romans 12:16 where Paul urges us to, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Several other verses in the New Testament echo the same sentiment.
Such harmonious chords are not easy in music. There are numerous combinations of notes you can play on an instrument, and most of them make ear-grating noise. Only the right combination of specific notes can make a beautiful, pleasing harmony.
Harmony is not easy in the church either. It never has been. I told you last week about Paul and Barnabas who worked together on their first missionary journey. When it came time to head out again, they couldn’t agree on whether to take John Mark, who had bailed on them halfway through the first trip. Here’s what we read at the end of Acts 15.
They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left.
Later, Paul had to deal with two contentious women in the church at Philippi. Now these are two ladies that Paul says had contended by his side for the gospel. He calls them fellow workers. He says their names are in the book of life, but listen to Paul’s heartfelt urgency when he implores in Php. 4:2, “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.” Can’t you two ladies please get along with each other? You both do so much for the kingdom, it doesn’t make any sense for you to be bitter and jealous and bickering with each other. Have you had any Eudias or Syntyches in your life?
Harmony is no easier in the church today. I could tell you true stories of churches that split over what color the carpet in the sanctuary should be. I could tell you of a congregation that had one half the roof shingled in one color while the other half was capped in a different color, because the board could not agree. On Sunday mornings, the congregation chose sides and sat under the color of their approval, though they could never see it. I could tell you of church worship teams where the musicians refused to play with each other. I could tell you about Sunday School classes who have sat outside worship services handing out leaflets to get the pastor fired. We could take all day and swap ridiculous stories we have all seen and heard of Christians not living in harmony, and its often over the stupidest things. Things that in the scope of the kingdom don’t really matter. Things that compared to the reality of people who don’t know Jesus and are going to hell, don’t matter at all. Things that compared to what we could accomplish together are completely insignificant.
But let’s make this a little more personal. What about me? What about you? With whom do you want to have nothing to do? Who is it that you try to avoid at all costs and why? How are you when it comes to dealing with elder grump, ministry chair crank, teacher talks a lot or member stone heart?
“Live in harmony with one another.” The problem with this verse is it’s too clear. Paul is unambiguous in his meaning. He gives no exceptions. He allows no outs. Paul doesn’t say live in harmony with those who have the same opinion as you. He doesn’t say, “Live in harmony with those who approach ministry the same way you do.” He simply says, “Live in harmony with one another.” There is an implied “You” here. “You, Dan, You Elder, You Teacher, You, Ministry Chair, You nursery volunteer, You, youth group member, You church member, All of you, live in harmony with one another. Not you just your favorites, not just your clique, not just your peer group, not just those who enjoy the same style of worship, but all of you live in harmony with all of each other. Paul doesn’t allow us to pick and choose who we get along with.
How is such harmony even possible? This seems like some idealistic pipe dream that we’ll never experience in the real world. Oh, it’s possible. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. I’ve experienced it, but it’s also very rare. If we took time to swap stories of such one another harmony, I’m afraid it would take much less time that all of our stores of silly splits and selfish squabbles. But these are the stories we need to tell more of in church. These are the stories we need to write.
To experience this reality, we must first understand exactly what Paul is asking of us. “Live in harmony” is the NIV’s attempt at translating an idea rather than the specific words used here. If you get out a Greek dictionary you will not find the Greek equivalent of harmony anywhere in this passage. So what does Paul actually say here? Literally he says, “Have the same mind.” “Be like-minded.” “Be of one mind”
Now this doesn’t mean we all have to have the same opinion, or enjoy the same hobbies, or have the same personalities. What he’s callings us to do here is to have the same mindset, the same attitude, the same outlook. He says that we need to think about each other a certain way.
How do we do this? Well, I want to look at few other verses that build on this idea of living in harmony or being like-minded, because they point us in the direction we need to go.
I. Sympathy & Compassion
The first verse is in 1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” I want to draw your attention to two related ideas here, sympathy and compassion. The more sympathy and compassion we can have for each other, the more we can live in harmony with one another.
I know we know what these words mean. At least we know them here in our head, but we need to know them in our hearts. Actually we need to know them in our guts. Let me explain.
The word translated compassion comes from a word that literally means to strengthen from the spleen. It refers to the intestines, your guts. This is why the Old King James says, “the bowels of compassion.” We don’t normally associate the bowels and compassion, but they were trying to communicate the Greek words here. The ancients viewed the internal organs of the abdomen as the seat of emotions. Look at it this way. When it comes to compassion, we are to feel it in our guts. The word translated sympathetic here means to suffer with, or have a fellow feeling. Peter isn’t talking about just a few kind words, but we are to feel for each other way deep down in our feelers.
To quote the old saying, “put yourself in their shoes” gets at the idea, but it’s more than that. It is to genuinely try to feel and experience what they are feeling and experiencing. How does it seem to them? How do they see it? How does it feel to be where they are?
To go back to the musical analogy of harmony, if you strike a tuning fork, it will create sympathetic vibrations in other similarly tuned forks nearby. If we are all tuned to Christ, can we not also create a sympathetic pitch in each other?
There something about people suffering together, people who have felt a common experience that binds them together, no matter what other differences they have. Polls taken in recent years have found that among Londoners who lived through the Nazi blitz of the early 1940s a large majority remember those days as the best days of their lives. They recall them with fondness and nostalgia.
Britain stood alone after the fall of France. She had been forced to retreat on all sides. At one point 1500 planes bombed London for 52 straight nights. Then came the feared V1 rockets or the buzz bombs which fell silent right before they delivered their deadly package. Londoners feared invasion any day. Yet one doctor who helped tend to the wounded in those days of fear and menace describes the strong bonds of community that developed. He describes entire cities of people living underground having dinner, feeding their babies, laughing and telling jokes, and sleeping on mats. Rich and poor were gathered alike. Their political differences didn’t matter. Where they had lived in London didn’t matter. Even the royal family visited among them. Above ground they had lost everything, below ground they were one.
In some ways, that’s what the church should be in this world. We are a bomb shelter from the ravages of sin and shattered dreams. We offer refuge from broken hearts and torn relationships. We offer sanctuary from the world’s hollow promises of pleasure and the crushing pressure of the rat race. We can be that when we have sympathy and compassion for one another. We can create a harmony that unites us regardless of whatever else might divide us.
II. Humility & Submission
Let’s look at another ingredient of living in harmony, another way we can be of the same mind. Turn just another page or so in your Bibles from 1 Peter 3:8 to 1 Peter 5:5.
“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another.” This doesn’t mean that we put on humility like a shirt for a while, then take it off. It’s not a costume. Clothe literally means to tie on; to attach it to yourself with a knot. Humility doesn’t come naturally to us. By nature, we are full of ourselves. We give way to pride and have way to high of an opinion of ourselves. Humility is something we must put on, but it isn’t easy. We have to tie it on and cinch it in place.
The word humility here contains the idea of being lowly or insignificant. Peter isn’t telling us to have poor self-esteem or to lack self-confidence. It’s a call to have a correct opinion of ourselves. You see pride and low self-esteem have something in common, and that is they both put all the focus on self. It’s all about me, myself, and I. True humility is not thinking about yourself in the first place. It is thinking of the other person first. What we want, what we think, what we feel isn’t the most important thing. When we all want to put our own opinions and feelings first, we will never have harmony.
Leonard Bernstein was once asked which instrument was the most difficult to play. He thought for a moment and then replied, "The second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find someone who can play the second fiddle with enthusiasm - that’s a problem. And if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmony."
Earlier in the verse, Peter uses the word submission. Now Peter was referring to a specific group, but we are all called to submit to one another in the church. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The biblical word for submit paint a beautiful picture. It means to line yourself up under. In the 1st Century this word was commonly used of Roman military rank. When soldiers willingly took up their proper positions and assumed their given roles this work was used. It allowed an army to function efficiently and effectively as one. Submission isn’t to force someone into compliance. It isn’t reluctant or hesitant obedience. It is willingly to place yourself into position for the good of the whole. When we as Christians willingly submit, willingly line ourselves up under each other, we can have harmony in the body of Christ.
III. Acceptance & Agreement
I want to draw your attention to one final pair of words. The first comes in Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Think about that for a moment. “Accept one another….just as Jesus accepted you.” The way he accepted you is the way you should accept your brothers and sister in Christ. Who are we to not accept those our Savior accepts? How dare we exclude someone that our Lord welcomes and received with open arms.
He dies on the cross, forgives their sin and calls them a child of God, and we are arrogant enough to say, “Not me.” I’m too good for them, or they’re not good enough for me. Jesus has made us brothers and sisters and we want to pretend we’re not family and won’t have anything to do with them. God forgive us. Forgive us for thinking that we know better than our own Lord and Savior.
The second word appears in 1 Corinthians 1:10, “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” It is easy to misunderstand this verse because a little bit is lost in translation. The word for agree here literally means to speak the same thing. He’s talking about those things that we profess to be true. Paul is not saying that we should all have the same opinion on everything. Some can like new choruses, some can like the old hymns. He’s not saying we should all have the same preferences. Some can love apple pie and others can love peach cobbler. But since we all agree on those saving truths that we hold so dear, we can be united on those things.
This is what Paul was referring to in Ephesians 4 when he wrote,
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit— just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
What unites us is greater than what divides us- The one Lord that died for us, the one faith that saves us, the one baptism that joins us all with Christ’s death and fills us with his Spirit, the one God whose plan and purpose is guiding the whole thing. Those things are greater than all the things we get offended and hurt over. We have many more reasons to get together than to stay apart.
I read of a missionary who, years ago, was working in Papua New Guinea. In the more remote, inland portions of the Island, there were still active tribes of cannibals. The missionary had to take some emergency supplies to a remote outpost where some others were trying to reach some of these tribes. The missionary was afraid of what might happen if he stumbled on some of the cannibals. Sure enough along one of the jungle trails, he faced a hunter garbed in his primitive dress. The native didn’t attack but seemed to watch with just as much fear and curiosity. Slowly he approached the missionary, and with his spear he began to draw in the dirt.
The missionary looked down wondering what foreboding message was scrawled upon the earthen canvas, and there he saw an image of the cross. He too bent down and drew a cross in the dirt. The two men then laughed and embraced. Though they could not speak each other’s language, they now realized they shared something far more important in common, than all the other things that made them different. The native then safely escorted the missionary to the outpost. Instead of drawing lines in the sand that divide us, like these two men, can’t we look to the cross that unites us?
Paul and Barnabas would be able to overcome their differences. They would work together again. Not only that, but Paul would also work with John Mark again. In his letter to Philemon, Paul refers to John Mark as his fellow worker, and when Paul wrote Timothy the second time, he specifically requested Mark. He writes, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.”
I want to leave you this morning with a story of harmony, a story about two elderly ladies confined to a convalescent home. Their names were Margaret and Ruth. They had each been devoted servants in their home churches. They had played piano and accompanied worship for many years, until debilitating strokes brought them here. Margaret had lost all movement on her right side, and Ruth had been paralyzed on her left. Neither could play the piano nor care for themselves anymore. But one day they discovered something amazing. If they sat down at the piano together, Margaret on the left, and Ruth on the right, they could make beautiful music together. We need each other to make beautiful music. Without each other, we are just single notes resounding in a confusing cacophony of noise.
