Name It What You Want
Dying To Self, Part 4
I was reading an article from the Wall Street Journal.
Wildlife researchers in Germany and the Czech Republic
have been studying migration patterns of deer
in the two countries,
and they were surprised to find out that
deer never cross between the two countries.
They think its because of what used to be known as the Iron Curtain.
Until 1989 there was a border fence,
part of what was known as the Iron Curtain,
that separated the countries,
but that fence came down in 1989
and now there’s a nature preserve
where the fence once was,
so it would be an ideal place for deer to graze,
but they don’t go there.
They used GPS tracking devices on the deer,
and realized that the deer come right up to
the area the fence once was, but don’t cross over.
What’s more strange is that,
the deer they’re studying now,
were born at least 20 years after the fence came down.
Wildlife filmmaker Tom Synnatzschke,
who often works in the area, says that
even thought the physical wall came down,
"The wall in the head is still there."
I wonder what walls you and I have in our heads,
that shape our lives in ways
that we have no clue about.
I wonder which painful events in our past,
are keeping us from enjoying life today.
If you have your bible, turn to Genesis chapter 28.
This is the last week in our series on the life of Jacob.
In case you haven’t been here the last 3 weeks,
let me summarize his story.
Jacob and Esau are born twins,
and Esau is older but Jacob manipulates him
to get his birthright,
then deceives and tricks to get his blessing,
and then because Esau wants to kill him,
Jacob runs away from home.
And on the way to his Uncle Laban’s house
Jacob stops for the night at a place he names Beth-el,
And he has a dream about God,
then wakes up and makes a vow…
Gen 28:20-22
20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear 21 so that I return safely to my father's household, then the Lord will be my God 22 and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."
So he basically says,
God, I’ll serve and follow you if you help me out.
He’s trying to make a deal with God.
Then Jacob goes on to his uncles house,
he marries his Uncles two daughters and has a bunch of kids,
then 21 years later he leaves there,
and heads south again, to go back home.
And God tells him to go back to Bethel.
Gen 35:1-7
Then God said to Jacob, "Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau..."
Verse 6
Jacob and all the people with him came to Luz (that is, Bethel) in the land of Canaan. 7 There he built an altar, and he called the place El Bethel, because it was there that God revealed himself to him when he was fleeing from his brother.
Bethel means house of God.
The first time Jacob went to Bethel,
he was negotiating with God,
if you’ll do this for me, then I’ll do that,
if you’ll protect me then I’ll serve you.
Well, God kept all his promises.
So the second time Jacob went to Bethel,
he didn’t make deals,
he built an altar.
That’s one way to tell your life is growing spiritually,
when you stop making deals with God,
and start building altars,
because an altar represents a sacrifice,
a place where you lay your life down,
and say,
Not my will but your will be done.
I don’t know how to drive my life God,
so you take the wheel.
Now, when Jacob obeys God,
he returns to Bethel,
and makes the sacrifice that he promised to make,
we’re expecting that the next thing God will do,
is bless him, right?
That’s what we all kind of expect.
If I obey God, and honor him,
he’ll bless my life.
So we kind of expect this in Jacob’s life,
he just made a sacrifice to God at Bethel,
he did what God wanted him to do,
and so we expect God to bless him.
And God does bless Jacob, sort of…
It says,
Gen 35:16
16 Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth…
This is a definite blessing,
because we talked about Rachel last week,
and we know that she was beautiful on the outside,
but barren on the inside, she couldn’t have children.
And that was a source of conflict
between her and her sister Leah,
and made Rachel miserable for much of her life.
However, late in her life,
she was finally able to have a son, Joseph,
and as she was having Joseph,
she prayed that God would add to her another son.
She wanted one more.
You see her sister Leah had six sons,
Rachel only had one, so she prays for one more.
And shortly after they leave Bethel,
Rachel goes into labor,
and we find out that her prayer is being answered,
she’s having another son.
So it appears at first that God is rewarding Jacob
with another son,
after his sacrifice at Bethel.
But then the scripture says,
Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty.
Now let’s talk about life, for a second.
Sometimes God will answer our prayers,
but it will cost us a price that we never imagined,
When Rachel prayed, give me another son,
she didn’t know what we now know,
which is that the son would cost her, her own life.
You see its one thing to ask God
to add something to your life,
but you never know what you’ll lose in the process.
Its wonderful to ask God to use you,
but just make sure when you say,
God use me,
you’re aware that sometimes
God will answer your prayer and use you,
but it will require you being poured out in ways
and broken in ways
that you might not have seen coming,
at the time you were asking God to use you.
Jesus says, in Luke 12:48
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
When you ask God to bless you and give you things,
its good to ask God to bless you,
but just understand that with the blessing
will come certain burdens
that you might not account for.
When God gives you more,
he requires more from you.
I’m sure that everybody in Jacob’s camp
was celebrating
how God had given Rachel another child.
Look how good God is.
Jacob built an altar, made a sacrifice,
and now Rachel’s having a baby,
she’s finally getting what she prayed for.
But somewhere in the process of giving birth,
things took a turn for the worse,
and Rachel started to lose blood…
because of the primitive medical care available then,
it was common for women to die in childbirth,
and since Rachel was a little older,
she was at higher risk…
17 And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, "Don't despair, for you have another son." 18 As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni.
So she dies in childbirth.
Let me make another point.
In our lives, something is always dying,
while something else is coming alive.
In your life, something is always dying,
while something else is coming alive.
Sometimes we use phrases like,
its all good.
You ever hear that one?
Now there’s nothing wrong with saying that, Its all good,
as long as you understand its not true.
Its not all good, for anybody ever.
Its never all good.
There is no point in time where
everything is going to be all good, in your life.
So if you’re waiting for that point
where everything is all good,
and all your prayers are being answered,
and all these blessings are being born,
and everything is going up and to the right in your life,
and everybody is getting along with you,
and everybody likes you,
You’re gonna be waiting a long time,
because its never all good.
In my experience
there’s 3 general categories of problems,
relationships, finances, and health,
and almost everybody is dealing with one of those 3,
almost all the time.
Sometimes your finances are great,
but you’ve got relationship problems with your kids,
or your parents, or your spouse, or people at work.
Sometimes the relationships are all good,
but you’re dealing with a health problem,
or someone else in your family has a health problem.
People are almost always dealing
with one of those 3 areas,
finances, health, or relationships,
all the time.
And I believe there’s a reason for it.
Its because God wants us to grow,
and he wants us to have opportunities to grow our faith,
and guess what, if you never have any problems,
you don’t need any faith.
If you never have any problems,
you don’t even need to pray,
if you never have any problems,
you don’t learn to trust in God,
and depend on God,
and turn to God for help.
So its never all good,
And it’s not all good for Jacob.
Something is coming to life,
but something else is dying.
Many of you sitting here this morning,
have some praises in your life right now,
but you’ve also got some problems,
you’ve got some joy in your life,
but you’ve also got some sadness.
That’s called life,
and God does not promise that it will all be good.
Now it does say in Romans 8:28 that
God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.
But simple logic tells you that
if God has to work everything together for the good,
that assumes that not everything is good
before God gets ahold of it.
That means there must be some stuff that’s not good,
as well as the stuff that is good,
and what God does is he takes
what’s coming alive
and what’s dying
and he makes it all work together for the good,
to bring forth his purpose in your life.
And if you’ve lived a little while,
you’ve probably come to a point where
you had to celebrate something,
when you’re still sorrowful about something else.
You’ve been hurting
but you had to smile.
If you wait until its all good in your life
to give God praise
and to celebrate victories
and have peace in your heart,
and to be happy,
and to enjoy what God has given you,
you never will, because its never all good.
The way life works is
there’s always something coming alive
and something dying.
I have to accept as pastor of a church
that there are always going to be new people coming in
and some people leaving.
God bless them both,
because God knows the plan and purpose behind it all,
and he knows when its time for certain things to leave,
and other things to come,
But the thing I can count on always,
is that God will never leave me alone,
he will never leave you alone,
that whether something’s dying,
or something else is being born,
God is watching over my life and your life,
and he sees every loss,
and he sees every gain,
and he measures all my pain,
and he catches every tear,
and he knows what to give me,
and he knows when to give it to me,
and he knows the perfect timing for it all.
Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty.
17 And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, "Don't despair, for you have another son."
In other words,
God answered your prayer Rachel.
You have another son.
Did you know, sometimes we need people in our life
to help us see that
even though we’re experiencing pain,
God is fulfilling his promise.
Sometimes we need people in our life to tell us,
I know you can’t see it right now,
because this is so painful for you
and this is costing you so much,
but God is giving you what you prayed for.
So the midwife reminds Rachel of that prayer and that promise,
and she says,
Don’t despair, for you have another son.
And
18 As she breathed her last—
because something in your life
is always breathing its last breath
as something else is breathing its first,
As the baby cries for the first time,
Rachel cries her final tear,
And with her final gasp of strength, —
she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin.
Can I confess to you for a moment,
I have some deep-rooted fears or phobia’s, as a pastor.
My biggest phobia is that
I’m very afraid to ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
She may really look like it,
she may have a belly like a basketball,
but there is no way I’m gonna ask her,
because if I’m wrong, the consequences are painful.
That’s my biggest phobia,
But there’s another phobia I’m starting to get
in the last few years,
and that is I’m afraid to ask people the name of their baby.
Because these days, people are naming their children,
and I’m going to put it in a nice way,
they’re naming their children creative things.
Interesting names.
Kind of like when someone asks you if you like something,
and you don’t want to say you hate it,
so you say, that’s interesting.
which really means you hate it.
Now it’s the parents right to name the child whatever they want,
so the reason I hesitate to ask,
is because I’m just not very good at faking a reaction.
So if I ask What’s his name?
and they say something that I think is stupid,
that’s gonna get him beat up on the playground,
my response will probably be, OH!
And see, that’s probably not the response that they’re looking for.
they probably want to hear, oh, that’s so sweet.
No, its not sweet, its interesting!
So in the interest of appearing like a compassionate pastor,
I usually just don’t ask, because
I don’t want you to tell me your childs name
and then I feel like slapping you.
I looked at a website showing
the hottest new baby names, for 2014
Jasper and Imogene both made the top 10.
If you name your baby Jasper, please do not tell me,
because I’m likely to say, Oh, that’s interesting.
I know the kind of nicknames kids come up with.
With the last name Ritz, I was subjected to the nickname cracker, my entire childhood. Every time I went to a new school and met new kids, they’d start calling me cracker, and they thought they were so creative and funny, only I’d heard it 82 gazillion times.
And it didn’t end with school. I got into the navy and became a pilot, and in our squadron you didn’t get to pick your own call sign that you got called on the radio when you’re flying, the other pilots picked it for you. Some of the pilots got cool call signs, like Shadow, or Torch, guess what mine was. Cracker.
I am so glad to say that our church has demonstrated much more maturity than that, and so far I have never been called Pastor Cracker.
Rachel with her last breath says, name him Ben-oni.
Ben means son, Oni means sorrow.
So as Rachel is breathing her last breath,
she names her child, son of my sorrow.
And we can understand why, can’t we?
Because Rachel realizes that
although God has answered her prayer
and added to her another son,
she will not be there to nurse him,
or hold him, or care for him,
And in the moment of knowing that
God gave me what I wanted,
but I’m not even gonna be here to experience it,
she names her child out of her pain,
and she calls him, son of my sorrow.
With the last breath in her body,
she names him according to
what she’s going through at the time,
son of my sorrow.
What’s interesting is that oni can mean sorrow,
but the same Hebrew word can also mean strength.
It depends on the context how you translate it.
In this case it almost certainly means sorrow,
but doesn’t it seem kind of strange
that the same word could mean
sorrow and strength?
At first it makes no sense,
that the same word,
could mean 2 things so seemingly opposite,
But what if those things aren’t as opposite
as they appear on the surface?
What if great strength is always born out of great sorrow.
Perhaps, real strength is only born out of real sorrow.
Perhaps the strongest people you will ever meet,
have also experienced the greatest sorrow.
Perhaps the greatest trials
you’ve ever gone through in your life,
are the very things that God used
to bring out the greatest strength in your life.
Jesus who has all power and all authority
and is the strongest man that ever lived
or ever will live,
He had the strength to hang there on the cross,
and he could have called 10000 angels to rescue him,
but he didn’t,
instead, he uttered with his last breath,
Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.
Nobody has that kind of strength,
But when Isaiah describes him,
he says he was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.
It was the sorrow of his crucifixion
that produced the power and strength
of his resurrection.
What if strength always comes from sorrow?
I believe it does.
If you see someone who’s spiritually strong,
I guarantee you they’ve faced a lot of sorrow
somewhere along the way in life,
you may not see it, they may not show it,
but its there.
AW Tozer was one of the greatest authors of the 20th century,
he said
“It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”
When I first read that as a young man,
I had no idea what he was talking about,
I didn’t get it.
But I get it now, I understand it now.
Sorrow produces strength.
And that’s important because,
Some of you today are facing a situation
that is full of sorrow,
But your sorrow today,
can become your strength tomorrow.
Your tears today, might water the seed
that’s going to bring forth something great
in your life tomorrow.
You may have a sad situation,
but you have a great God.
You may have a lot of sorrow,
but its producing even more strength.
Verse 18
As she breathed her last—she named her son Ben-Oni.
But Jacob named him Benjamin.
Doesn’t that seem kind of rude?
Her dying request is, call my son Benoni,
and Jacob says, no, I don’t think so.
We’re not going to name him, Son of my sorrow.
Now, you know that Jacob was hurting too,
in fact he was probably more sorrowful
than Rachel was,
because Rachel was the love of his life,
He worked 14 years to get her as his wife,
and now all the sudden he loses her,
he has to live without her.
14 years, I don’t know if any of you love that much,
obviously I love Kathy that much,
but most of you husbands couldn’t say that…
But even while Jacob was grieving his loss of Rachel,
he refused to name the child
born out of this sorrow,
according to the sorrow that gave him birth.
He refused to name this childs destiny,
according to a moment in history.
He wouldn’t do it,
And so they come to him and they tell him,
Jacob, we did all we could do,
but we couldn’t save Rachel,
she’s gone.
And the midwife comes up to him and says,
Before Rachel died,
she asked that we name the child Benoni.
And Jacob says,
No. And he names him Benjamin.
Now in Bible times,
fathers, not mothers, had naming rights.
I know that doesn’t seem fair that
women do all the work
and then the father gets to name the baby,
but that’s how it worked.
So Rachel is recommending a name,
but Jacob has to sign off on it,
I wanted to point that out
because people in your life
might recommend a name for you,
but only your heavenly father gets to sign off on it
and approve it.
Maybe there’s somebody sitting here,
and you’ve been labeled by someone
and you’ve been called something
based on what you went through,
so they called you hopeless,
they called you stupid,
they called you worthless,
they might not have said it in those words,
but they implied it in their tone,
But they don’t have naming rights over you.
Unless you make something,
you don’t get to name it,
Only the maker has naming rights,
So maybe this morning you need to peel off a label
that somebody has given you,
based on some moment or time in your life,
and you need to peel off that label and say,
I don’t think so,
only my father in heaven has naming rights,
only my father in heaven gets to tell me who I really am,
and if what you say about me
doesn’t line up with what he sees in me,
then I don’t want your label,
I don’t need your label,
I don’t respond to your name.
So Jacob hears the name Benoni,
and he says,
I can understand why Rachel named him
son of my sorrow,
I’m sad too, I’m full of sorrow too, I’m hurting too,
I’ll miss her forever, I’ll honor her forever,
But I refuse to call him Benoni,
I’m not going to name him for what happened
in one sad moment,
I’m not going to look at him for the rest of my life,
and see him through the lens
of what I lost when he was born,
I refuse to call him BenOni, I’m naming him Benjamin.
Now if I told you what Benjamin means
you might really get excited.
Do you want to know what Benjamin means?
Well, I’m gonna tell you,
in a minute.
You see Jacob has a lot of experience with new names.
It’s a major theme of his life.
We talked a couple weeks ago about
how he was born Jacob, (which means deceiver)
but he was renamed Israel
which means triumphant with God.
And we said that he’s still kind of both,
but as he grows closer to God
it’s more of Israel, less of Jacob,
But not only did his name change,
but he renamed several places along his journey in life.
Bethel wasn’t called Bethel until Jacob showed up.
It used to be called Luz,
but when Jacob met God there,
he renamed it Bethel,
which means house of God.
One time when Jacob was returning home,
and was in fear of Esau,
he saw armies of angels surrounding and protecting him,
so he named that place Mahanaim,
which means encampment of God.
Because he saw God camped out all around him,
and he realized,
I’m not in this by myself,
I’m not fighting this battle on my own,
I thought I was,
but then I saw something spiritually
that I couldn’t see physically,
so he renamed the place Mahanaim.
Another time Jacob was wrestling with God,
but he didn’t realize at first who it was,
and when he got done wrestling,
he realized that he’d been wrestling with God,
so he named that place Penuel,
which means face of God, because he said,
I have seen God face to face and yet I didn’t die.
So Jacob renamed some places,
and he’d been renamed himself,
and now, at the most sorrowful moment of his life,
he thinks to himself,
wait a minute,
if I can rename places,
if God can rename me,
maybe I can rename this too.
And so he calls him Benjamin.
Are you ready to find out what Benjamin means?
Ben still means son,
but when you put Jamin on it, it means,
you ready?
It means son of…
I really want you to understand this,
you see Jacob is looking at a tragedy,
Jacob is looking at a loss,
Jacob is looking at pain,
Jacob is looking at hurt,
Jacob is looking at despair,
and he said,
I think I’ll call him, Benjamin
son of…
Remember when Jacob went in
to get the blessing that belonged to Esau?
And Isaac couldn’t see,
but Isaac took his right hand,
and placed it Jacobs head, to give him the blessing.
the right hand was reserved for the blessing of the first born,
the right hand in scripture was the hand of blessing
the hand of authority,
the hand of power,
Jesus is sitting on the right hand of God,
its the hand of honor,
the hand of glory,
So when Jacob names his son,
he names him son of my right hand.
That’s what Benjamin means.
You see, Jacob all of his life has been trying to get
the right hand of blessing for himself,
but now, in a situation that other people
would have called a curse,
Jacob says, Hold on a second,
I got a right hand too,
and its time for me to use it,
and I’m choosing to call this a blessing in my life.
Call him Benjamin.
Call him son of my right hand.
Don’t call him Benoni,
yes there may be sorrow,
but I’m not going to name him by the sorrow,
call him Benjamin, son of my right hand,
Benjamin, son of blessing,
Benjamin son of triumph,
If you don’t remember anything else I say today,
remember this.
Just like Jacob,
You have naming rights over the situations of your life,
You can name it what you want.
You can take your situation
and name it by all the sorrow
that you’re still feeling today,
or you can name it by the strength
it will bring you tomorrow.
Name it what you want.
Its time for you to use your right hand,
and take that bitterness in your life,
and rename it forgiveness.
Its time to take that hurt in your life,
and rename it trust in God.
Its time for you to take that disappointment,
and rename it hope in God who alone has the future in his hands.
There’s some of you here,
You’ve spent too much of your life waiting for a blessing,
God is waiting for you to be a blessing,
Its time to use your right hand and be a blessing
You keep waiting on your circumstances to change,
so you can be blessed,
God says, I want you to pronounce a blessing
over those circumstances,
and name it what you want.
Failed relationship, I’m renaming you forgiveness and love.
Discouragement, I’m renaming you patience and perseverance
With the help of God who strengthens my right hand
I’m renaming the sorrows of my life,
into the strength that they will bring me tomorrow.
There’s some stuff in your life you’ve been calling Benoni,
you’re full of sorrow every time you think about it,
but God says, change that name,
Change it to the name God would call it.
God calls it by the good thing he’s doing in your life,
as a result of the sorrow,
God calls it by the good thing you’re becoming,
as you trust him.
Now let me tell you why this is difficult for us.
Most people say things like this…
I just call it like it is.
Well that doesn’t take any faith.
Anybody can call it like it is.
Anybody can say, oh this is so depressing,
oh this is so discouraging,
Well, it might be depressing and discouraging,
Its depressing to hear a bad report from the doctor,
its depressing when your kids on drugs,
its discouraging dealing with parents with dementia,
its disappointing when you can’t get a date,
its frustrating when you can’t find a job,
So you can call it what it is,
and it won’t change a bit,
You see, Rachel wasn’t wrong,
She called her son by what it was.
It was a time of sorrow, it was sad,
she just called it like it was,
But Jacob changed that name.
Out of Benoni comes Benjamin.
Out of sorrow, I choose to see strength.
I’m not going to call it what it is, anymore,
I’m gonna call it what God says it is,
and what it can be, in his name.
I’m gonna call it joy,
I’m gonna call it peace,
I’ll call it hope,
call it forgiven,
call it cleansed,
call it new.
Because I know in faith that
God is doing something new in my life,
out of sorrow is going to come strength.
I may not see it yet, but I trust him.
Now, sometimes you can change the situation,
and when you can do that,
by all means, do it.
but when Rachel dies, and there’s sorrow in your heart,
and you can’t change the situation,
you can’t bring her back…
You can still change the name,
to the way God sees it.
I want to do a quick application…
On your bulletin there’s a blank you can fill in…
I want you to pick one sorrowful situation in your life,
and give it a new name, right now.
Rename your problem with a praise,
think of one sorrowful situation in your life,
and then think of something
you were able to praise God for
in the middle of that situation,
or something good that God did
as a result of that situation,
and then change the name.
Maybe instead of rejection,
you name it dependence on God,
instead of shame and guilt,
you name it
“Washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ”
and given a new start, and a new life.
I know of a couple who lost a child,
and they did this.
They decided they would never talk about the day their daughter died, instead they talk about the day their daughter went to heaven.
They renamed it based on the way God sees it.
And you can change the name of your situation.
We’re going to close in a second,
but one more note,
before we end this series on Jacob...
Gen 35:19-21
19 So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). 20 Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb.
He buried her, in great sorrow,
and he would never be the same again,
But the first 3 words of the next verse,
is how I want to end this series.
It says in verse 20 that Jacob buried Rachel,
but it says in verse 21…
Israel moved on
Jacob set up a pillar
but Israel moved on.
Israel,
that’s your new name in Christ,
that’s the new you,
that’s the part of you
that trusts in God completely,
that’s the part of you
that hard times couldn’t break,
that rejection couldn’t ruin,
that abuse couldn’t destroy,
that the devil couldn’t steal,
Israel moved on.
And its time for you, as a child of God, to move on.
stop focusing on what you lost,
stop focusing on the sorrow of the past,
and move on, in the strength of God.
Stand for prayer
Scripture says that God has exalted Jesus to the highest place, and has given him the name that is above every name.
I don’t know what your situation is named today, but I do know that there is a name above every name, and his name is Jesus.
