EMOTIONS THAT TAKE STRONG MEN DOWN
SAMSON; WEEK 2
If you have a bible turn to Judges 14, page 172 pew bible
We're looking at an interesting character named Samson.
If you missed last week,
let me give you a quick review.
Samson is a guy that from birth
was set apart, called and chosen by God
to help rescue God’s people,
who’d been conquered by and oppressed by the Philistines.
So God gave Samson supernatural strength;
Samson had more potential than we can even imagine.
The problem is, like so many of us,
even though he had great potential from God,
he continued to make self-destructive decisions
again and again and again and again.
In fact, last week we summarized his life with one statement.
We said that
Samson was an incredibly strong man with a dangerously weak will.
Just like so many of us
who have great God-given potential,
yet, because of the weakness of our will
we end up making poor decisions,
and waste that potential.
Last week we also looked at
three attitudes that make strong men weak.
The first was lust;
Samson left his hometown,
went into enemy territory
to go pursue a Philistine woman,
one who was off limits.
But he said, 'I want it!'
Because lust makes strong men weak.
Then we saw a spirit of entitlement;
Samson broke his Nazarite vow,
by touching a dead lion,
simply because he wanted a handful of honey.
He said, I don’t cares about my vow to God,
'I deserve it!'
And finally, his pride;
With his Nazirite vows he wasn't supposed to touch alcohol,
but he threw himself a keg party before his wedding.
He thought, No big deal, I can handle it.
3 attitudes that make strong men weak.
Lust, entitlement, and pride.
I want it,
I deserve it,
I can handle it.
So we saw last week that
Samson is squandering the strength God gave him,
and its not going to end well.
We are going to look this week
at another area of Samson’s weak will,
that undermines his great strength.
Here's our key thought for this week.
Like so many of us,
Samson was emotion driven, not Spirit led.
I want you to remember that,
so lets say that out loud together.
Samson was emotion driven, not Spirit led.
For those of you who are followers of Christ,
one of our big problems is
we should be led by the Spirit in all we do,
but we're often driven by emotions.
Now you men immediately react,
not me, I’m not emotion driven,
I’m not very emotional at all,
now my wife, she’s emotion driven,
but not me.
You see, as men
we don't like to think of ourselves as emotional.
Women are emotional, but we're strong.
Women are emotional, but we're tough.
But though its true that
men show their emotions much differently than women,
The reality is that we're all emotional
because emotions were built into all of us by God,
and they're not bad,
we just shouldn't be driven by them.
And of course, the difference between the way
men process emotions
and women process emotion
is very, very different.
Generally speaking, women talk, and men act.
When women are upset about something
they talk and talk and talk!
Men usually don't talk, we just act!
Some of you women, if you get upset,
you might call one of your women friends
and they'd come over,
and you’d sit on the sofa and drink tea and talk about it.
In all of my life, I've never had a dude ever call me
and say, "Ken, would you come over to my house
and drink some tea and sit on my sofa
so we can talk?"
If he did,
we wouldn't be friends anymore,
it would be over!
You see, men, we're just different in the way
we process emotions,
we tend to act,
but we don't like to talk as much.
Now, the problem is (men, be real honest)
how many of you would say that
sometimes your emotions, like maybe anger,
have led you to do something that you shouldn't have done?
How many would admit that?
The truth is, it doesn’t really take very much,
for me to let my emotions start driving me,
instead of being spirit led.
A couple days ago I was driving through Hamilton,
and this car ahead of me is driving so slow,
and I was in an area you couldn’t pass.
I started getting more and more impatient.
Now, most of you would say,
what’s the big deal about that,
so they’re driving slow.
And I agree, it wasn’t a big deal.
But yet, I’m getting aggravated at this driver,
they’re driving 20, in a 35 zone,
what is their problem.
I’ve got a lot to get done this afternoon,
why are they going so slow…
I was getting ticked off at this incompetent driver in front of me.
And then it occurred to me,
Hmmmm, I’m going to be teaching on Sunday,
about being spirit-led, not emotion driven.
And I don’t know for sure,
but I’m guessing its not the Spirit,
leading me to get angry
at this stupid driver in front of me.
So I had to repent…
But the point is,
it’s a whole lot easier for us
to be driven by our emotions, than to be led by the spirit.
It’s a continual choice as we go through our day,
because most of us really want to do what's right,
we want to be led by the Spirit,
but our emotions take over.
Now, I don't know what that looks like for you,
maybe unlike me,
you’re a really patient driver,
but you have to deal with it in other areas.
Maybe you men,
you want to be a good dad,
and you want to connect with your kids,
and be a great role model;
but you know how it is,
you work hard all day,
and when you get home you're like,
"I'm just fried, I need to veg out for a while!"
So, it's easier just to sit back
and watch TV all night long
and so you don't do, what you want to do.
Or maybe you say something stupid
to your wife, or friend, or co-worker,
and you’re thinking,
"I know I should apologize,
I really need to apologize!"
but because of your pride,
you just don't do it;
you're emotion driven, not Spirit led.
Or maybe someone does something
and you don't want to explode in anger
but you do anyway,
and you end up like the Apostle Paul
when he said in Romans Chapter 7:
Why is it that the things I want to do I don't do,
and the things I don't want to do I end up doing?
Well, usually, its because
we're emotion driven not Spirit led.
That's why Paul said in Galatians 5:16,
So I say, live by the Spirit...
Now… How should we live everybody?
We are going to be Spirit led,
and when we're Spirit led,
what will we not do?
We will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature...
Because verse 17 says:
...For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
There’s many times when I don’t do what I want.
And it’s because sometimes
I’m emotion driven, not spirit led.
That was Samson’s problem
and we’re going to see that
it eventually destroys him.
Lets pick up Samson’s story where we left off last week.
Samson sees this Philistine woman
who worshiped idols,
And he said, 'I want to marry her,
I don't care what God says,
I don't care what my parents say.'
So they make the wedding arrangements,
and Samson throws a bachelor party.
Now at this party, Samson has no friends there,
no people from Israel at all.
Why? The people of Israel aren’t dumb enough
to go to a Philistine town,
when the Philistines are the enemy,
and the people of Israel also know
that God told them not to marry Philistines,
because the Philistines worshiped idols.
So they know this isn’t gonna turn out good.
Well because Samson has no friends there,
the brides parents find 30 local guys
to come to Samson’s party.
Judges 14:10-11
Samson threw a party at Timnah... When the bride's parents saw him, they selected thirty young men from the town to be his companions.
During the party, Samson says to these 30 guys,
Let's have a little competition,
and see who’s smarter,
because everybody knows men have to compete all of the time.
Samson says, I'll tell you a riddle.'
And you have 7 days to figure it out.
And to make it interesting,
'Let's put a little bet on it!'
Because everybody knows,
if men are competing
they've got to bet something, to make it fun.
And so, he makes this really stupid bet.
He says to 30 men:
'I'll bet you thirty pieces of linen and 30 pieces of clothing
that I win and you lose,'
Now, this was at a time when
you couldn’t just go down to Walmart,
and buy a couple yards of linen for a few bucks,
this was an expensive bet.
And its a stupid bet for Samson,
because if he loses
he's got to come up with 30 outfits and linen,
which he doesn’t have,
but if the 30 men lose
they just come up with one each.
But he says:
'I'll give you seven days to figure this out!'
And here is the riddle he gave them.
Verse 14:
Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet.
Now again, if you were with us last week
you'll remember,
what kind of animal did Samson kill?
It was a lion.
And what happened after that?
Samson later stops by the place where he killed the lion,
and sees that a hive of honey bees
has built a nest in the carcass,
and even though Samson had promised God
not to touch anything dead,
what did he do?
He scooped out a handful of honey from the dead lion
and broke his vow to God.
And it obviously didn’t bother him
that he’d broken his vow,
because next he makes a riddle out of it.
Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet.
He's talking about the lion and the honey.
Now the Philistine men couldn't figure out the answer to this riddle,
So they start to get angry,
because they're gonna lose an expensive bet.
So, they go to the Philistine woman
who Samson wants to marry,
and they say:
You better find out from Samson the answer to this riddle,
and tell us,
because if you don't,
we're going to burn you and your Dad to death!'
This riddle was obviously no joking matter to them.
Well, now the bride’s desperate,
she doesn’t want to die over this riddle,
So, the bride used a wife's greatest weapon;
when in doubt cry, right?
Works on us every time!
And for days she cried,
'You don't love me, or you’d tell me the riddle!'
So finally on the 7th day, Samson caves,
and tells her the secret,
she tells the thirty guys,
and we pick up the story in verse 18:
Before sunset on the seventh day the men of the town said to Samson...
..."What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?"
And Samson is furious that they figured out his riddle
and he lost the bet!
He flies into a rage, and says:
"If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have solved my riddle."
Men, there's some clear lessons from that that statement:
First, don't ever let anyone plow with your wife...
second, don't ever call her a heifer!
Even if you’re the strongest man in the world,
if you call your wife a heifer.
you’re still gonna be in deep, deep trouble
Just a little advice there…
Now what we’re going to see happen next, is
Samson reacts with emotion
He is emotion driven, not Spirit led.
Specifically, Samson falls victim to 2 emotions
that often take strong men down.
The first one Anger.
Verse 19, says:
Samson went down to Ashkelon, struck down thirty of their men, stripped them of everything and gave their clothes to those who had explained the riddle.
He went and took the lives of 30 innocent men
just for their clothing.
Why?
The next three words tell us.
Burning with anger, he returned to his father's home.
And Samson's wife was given to one of his companions who had attended him at the feast.
Now you might say,
"Wait, wait, wait, what just happened?"
Let me tell you what happened.
Samson lost the bet;
and he left before the wedding was completed,
went on his killing spree;
and then was still so angry,
that instead of going to finish the wedding,
he just went home.
And the bride's father was sitting there going,
'This is embarrassing,
we've got this party, all of our guests are here,'
In those days the dad usually made the final marriage decisions,
so he said,
Well, times a wasting, Samson's not here,
I'm giving her to another guy.'
Well, when Samson finally cools down,
he goes back to his brides house,
only to find she’s married to someone else.
And now he’s really angry,
so he called up his best friend,
and said lets sit on the sofa and drink tea,
and talk about my feelings.
No, actually, that’s not what he does.
He takes action, again,
because he’s emotion-driven, not spirit-led.
He's so angry, that he went and caught 300 foxes,
tied each of their tails to another fox,
put a torch in between their tails.
lit the torches
and set them loose in the Philistine farmers fields.
You can only imagine the chaos,
with 150 pair of foxes
with fire in between them
running around like crazy,
and the result was it burned all of the
fields and crops, vineyards and olive groves
in that whole area.
Now, lets think about this.
Were the local farmers responsible for Samson losing his wife?
No. They didn’t have anything to do with it.
But when you’re emotion driven,
logic goes out the window.
And, guess who’s angry now?
The Philistines are furious!
So what do they do?
They went and got the woman
who should have been Samson's wife
and her dad,
killed them and burned them.
Now, was Samson’s girlfriend and dad
responsible for Samson burning the fields?
No. They didn’t have anything to do with it.
But again, when you’re emotion driven,
logic goes out the window.
Now its Samson’s turn again,
because he’s angry again.
Verse 7-8
Samson said to them, "Since you've acted like this, I swear that I won't stop until I get my revenge on you." He attacked them viciously and slaughtered many of them.
Psychologists have a term called
frustration tolerance.
They say that mature people have
high-frustration tolerance.
In other words, they’re somewhat patient,
even when frustrating events happen.
Immature people, on the other hand,
have low-frustration tolerance.
They’re basically,
“I want my way right now, or I’m going to throw a tantrum.”
Would you say that Samson has
a high or low frustration tolerance?
Slaughtering innocent people when you get upset,
would be an sign of
low-frustration tolerance.
And who gets hurt by Samson's emotion driven anger?
Everyone does.
It costs Samson, and it costs everyone around him.
everybody loses.
Its just like what happens,
when you and I react with emotion-driven anger,
instead of being led by the spirit.
Everybody around us, loses.
Here's the challenge for us today.
For many of us,
and especially for the men here,
anger tends to be our default negative emotion.
our default negative emotion.
In other words,
we naturally default to the emotion of anger,
whenever something negative happens.
For example, if someone embarrasses me,
I don't just feel embarrassed,
but I also get what? Angry!
"I'll show them, they shouldn't do that to me!"
I'm not just embarrassed
but I'm also angry,
If a woman stubs her toe on a chair, what does she do?
She might sit down on the chair
and nurse her toe till the pain goes.
What does a man do?
He turns back and kicks the chair again,
"Stupid chair, I hate you chair!"
because for us, anger
is often a default negative emotion.
Think about this though.
What did Samson actually have to be angry about?
He was the one who went after the wrong woman,
the Philistine woman he never even should have gone near.
He was the one who decided to marry her, ignoring God’s directions.
and his parent's advice.
He is the one who taunted the Philistines with the riddle.
He’s the one who came up with the idea of a really expensive bet,
knowing that whoever lost was going to be furious.
He is the one who gave the secret of the riddle away.
He's the one who left his wife at the altar to go kill a bunch of men,
he's the one who burned the Philistine villages and crops.
Samson is mad at the world,
but almost all of the mess is his own fault.
You see, Samson was just like many of us.
We're angry at the world,
when in reality,
we should be angry at ourselves.
"I hate my boss, I hate this stupid job,
But in reality,
you made a lot decisions along the way,
that led you to take that job,
or that affected your relationship with your boss,
or limited your options of getting a better job.
You might be like Samson,
mad at the world,
but most of the mess is your own fault.
Or, "I’m so angry at my wife,
she won't meet my physical needs;
But maybe you haven't met her emotional needs in months
and most of the mess is your own fault.
Or maybe you’d say,
"I'm angry at God!
I can't believe He hasn’t answered my prayer,
I shouldn't be going through this in life!"
When maybe the truth is,
you’re in a painful place
because you made some unwise decisions
but now you're blaming it on God.
I’m speaking from experience here.
There’s so many different times in my life,
when I’ve been driven by the emotion of anger
rather than being led by the Spirit.
At the time I was really angry at a person
or at a situation,
but when I look back,
most of the mess was really my fault.
In fact, I’ve been emotion-driven so many times,
that I’ve gotten a lot of practice at something…
I’ve become really good at apologizing.
If I do something out of anger,
I usually recognize it as soon as I cool down,
and when I do recognize it,
I take ownership,
and I am quick to apologize.
There may be some of you here this morning,
who need to do that.
You took your anger out on someone else,
you were driven by emotion, not led by the spirit,
and maybe you need to go to your kids,
or your wife, or husband, or a friend,
and make some apologies.
And by the way, for you married couples here,
if your partner happens to come to you and apologize,
then your job is to
immediately forgive, and offer grace.
Don’t you dare say,
Well, you’re not really sorry.
Don’t even think of saying,
You’re only doing that because Ken said to.
If you respond like that,
the sin is now on your head.
You are now the one in the wrong.
Your response has to be one of
love and mercy and grace.
Because that’s just what we do,
if we’re followers of Christ.
So, the first problem is that Samson was burning with anger.
The second thing is:
2. Samson was filled with pride.
Verse 15, the Philistines are coming to attack him:
The Spirit of the Lord came on him in power… Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men.
Notice something:
whose power allowed Samson to defeat 1000 men?
The Spirit of the Lord came on him in power
Its very clear here that all the credit has to go to God.
Nothing is impossible with God,
and this is God’s power at work here,
not Samson’s power.
But lets continue reading, in Verse 16
Then Samson said, "With a donkey's jawbone I have made donkeys of them. With a donkey's jawbone I have killed a thousand men."
Samson is making fun of them,
and he says,
I did it.
I made donkeys of them.
I killed a thousand men.
Samson is taking credit for it.
No mention of God,
no thanks to God for helping him,
or giving him the power.
This is a picture of the worst kind of pride.
“Andrew Delbanco is a humanities professor at Columbia University.
He was doing research on Alcoholics Anonymous
and was attending AA meetings around the country.
One Saturday morning in a New York City church basement
he was listening to a - quote
‘crisply dressed young man’
who was talking about his problems.
In his opinion, he was faultless, all his mistakes were due to the injustice and betrayal of others, and he spoke of how he was going to avenge himself on all who had wronged him.
While he was speaking,
a black man in his forties, in dreadlocks and dark shades,
leaned over to Delbanco and said,
‘I used to feel that way too, before I achieved low self-esteem.’
For Delbanco, that statement was like a revelation.
before I achieved low self-esteem.’
He wrote later in his book, The Real American Dream:
For me, that was the moment I understood in a new way,
the religion I had claimed to know something about.
Let me ask you,
Have you achieved low self-esteem?
You probably say,
Ken, what are you talking about.
We don’t want low self-esteem.
We need high self-esteem to live a good life.
That’s what all the experts say.
Samson had high self-esteem, and it ruined his life.
What we need most, is not high self-esteem,
but high God-esteem.
Now, when we talk about low self-esteem here,
we’re not talking about,
I hate myself,
I’m a worthless worm.
No, we’re talking about simply recognizing that,
Hey, I’m a sinner, and most of the messes in my life
are not somebody else’s fault,
they’re a result of my own sin.
That means, I can’t go around
getting mad at the world
every time I have problems in life.
Instead I need to humble myself,
and ask God for help.
That’s what I mean here
when I talk about low self-esteem,
and high God-esteem.
But this is tough, especially for men.
because we really battle with pride.
We’re going around,
"Look at me, look what I did!"
"Hey, do you like me now?"
"Am I strong enough to impress you?"
"Have I won enough to impress you?"
"Have I conquered enough?"
"Have I got enough cool stuff?"
I was thinking about this last week,
and I am just as guilty as all the rest of us.
For example,
I play on the Vineyard men’s softball team,
and a couple weeks ago we had a doubleheader,
and I was hitting the best I have in years,
I got about 9 hits in 10 at-bats,
and believe me, when I got home,
I let Kathy know about it.
Hey, hon, are you impressed, I batted 900.
But the times when I’m not hitting,
somehow, I don’t mention that.
I don’t tell Kathy,
Hey guess what, I went 0 for 5 tonight, my hitting really sucked.
Plus, I let two easy grounders go between my legs,
it was really embarrassing.
No, somehow I never mention those things, when I do bad.
She asks how the game went,
Oh, fine.
And I don’t say anything else.
Because I’m like everyone else here,
I want people to be impressed by me.
Because I’m dealing with pride.
You know the truth.
Pride always comes from insecurities.
When we don't know if we’re loved and valued,
then we want to impress others,
and then pride comes in to take us down.
And the worst part of pride is that,
since I’m pretending to be strong,
I don't want you to know where I'm weak,
which means I can’t ask for help,
or even admit I need help.
The same thing that stops men from asking for directions,
also keeps them from admitting they need help.
Now there is great news to go with this.
Because I believe that,
for those of you that have surrendered your hearts to Christ,
and you’re trying to follow him,
there is potential spiritual greatness in you.
When we just recognize,
"Yes, I've been driven by these emotions,
but I don't want to be.
I want to be a man of God,
I want to be a man of integrity,
I want to be a man of character.
I want to be a man with Spiritual strength;
I want to love my bride as Christ loved the church.
I want to have integrity in all of the business dealings I do.
I want to be a man who imparts Spiritual truth to the next generation.
I want to be a man of God."
The world has yet to see what God can do
through one man whose heart is totally surrendered unto Him.
You could be that one.
Many of you right now, are thinking,
"But I've blown it too bad,
I've messed up too bad.
You wouldn't even believe what I've done."
Maybe you’re thinking about right now,
how you have this secret darkness in you,
that you worry about,
"If she found out,
if they found out,
if anybody knew."
Maybe you look at something you've done
and you think,
"There's no recovery from what I've done.
I could never rebuild trust,
my kids could never look at me that way."
Listen, if that's you right now,
I've got great news for you;
You're in need,
but if you’ll acknowledge your need to God,
and ask him for help,
this could be the greatest day of your life.
In fact, this is the most important thing I’m gonna say today.
If you let your need drive you to God, God will meet your deepest need.
If you let your need drive you to God, God will meet your deepest need.
That’s what happened to Samson.
He killed a thousand men,
and started bragging, and taking all the credit,
he was emotion driven, not spirit led.
But the next thing that happens is,
he runs into some big trouble
that he couldn’t get out of.
He found himself out in a desert,
without water,
dying of thirst.
He’s got a desperate need,
and he can’t fix this one
just by picking up the jawbone of a donkey.
Verse 17 NLT
When he finished his boasting, he threw away the jawbone; and the place was named Jawbone Hill.
Samson was now very thirsty, and he cried out to the Lord, "You have accomplished this great victory by the strength of your servant. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of these pagans?"
Samson is worn out from the battle,
and suddenly realizes he’s out in the wilderness,
miles from any water,
and he’s dying of thirst,
no strength left,
He’s in big trouble.
But he lets his need, drive him to God.
And notice how quickly Samson’s pride turns to humility.
He realizes, I’m thirsty and there’s no water,
I might die, I can’t meet my own need,
I’m totally dependent on God.
No longer is he saying,
look at me, look at what I did,
I killed a thousand men.
No. Now he’s humble, he says,
God, you accomplished that great victory,
I’m just the servant you did it through.
Now please help me
so I don’t die here in the desert.
His whole attitude changes,
once he faces a problem that’s bigger than him.
In fact, it makes you ask,
why do you think God let him get stuck there
in the desert, without water?
Maybe so his attitude would change from pride to humility.
That leads to another question:
Why do you think God lets you and I
run into problem after problem?
Maybe so our attitudes will change from pride to humility.
Maybe the problem you’re facing right now,
is from God,
because he wants your attitude to change.
Maybe God wants you and I
to achieve some low self-esteem,
and some high God-esteem.
We’re going to close in a minute,
but lets look at one more verse in this story.
Verse 19
So God caused water to gush out of a hollow in the ground at Lehi, and Samson was revived as he drank.
When Samson drank, what happened?
somebody help me out…
When Samson drank... he revived.
When you return to God you will be revived.
In other words, you find new life!
When you let your need drive you to God,
He can meet your deepest need!
You can find new life.
You can be who you were created to be!
You can make a difference,
you can be a leader,
you can live righteously,
you can be a person of integrity!
Samson turned to God,
God gave him water and he was revived.
And the good news is today,
if you will turn to God, and admit,
"I’ve been driven by emotion, or anger or pride,"
...but I want to be led by the Spirit of God."
If you will let your deepest need
lead you to God
He will meet your deepest need
LETS STAND FOR PRAYER
Father I pray that your Spirit would stir within our hearts, that you would cause us to be wholehearted in following you, empowered by your Spirit, and strengthened by your Word. We confess that we are often driven by emotion, but Lord we want to be led by your Spirit, so we don’t gratify the desires of the flesh. God, we confess to you our anger and our pride, and we ask that you forgive us. By faith we put those emotions on your altar and ask that Your Spirit would be our guide. Thank you God, that when we humble ourselves in weakness, calling on you alone, to meet our deepest needs, I thank you God that you will meet those needs.
For those of you this morning who are not sure of your relationship with God, you’re not sure that you’re part of his family and have been completely forgiven and made new in Christ, if you’re not sure of that, then you can pray along with me right now, and God will hear your prayer and he will forgive you and you’ll be made new.
So just pray with me, and admit to God:
"Yes, I'm in need; I need your forgiveness, I need your power, I need your grace. Today, I give my whole life to You. Jesus, take my life and make me new!" Fill me with Your Spirit so I can serve you with the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray.
