Grief
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Death is a part of life
Three critical pieces of information about grief:
1. Grieving is a part of life. v.13
“asleep”: a euphemism for death.
There is no such thing as soul sleep
1 Thessalonians 5:9-10 2 Corinthians 5:8
2. Grieving should include hope v.13-14
Hope: a strong and confident expectation
3. Grieving can give way to joy v.15-18
Psalm 30:5
Two reasons our grief can give way to joy:
1. Our great reunion with others
2. Our glorious future with Jesus
My dad was a great man (pic). When I was a kid, I was amazed at how he could walk on his hands around the house. He could do anything with his hands, including discipline my brother and me. Back seat fussing—mr. Hand. Grab me by the temple hairs….if not driving, bang our heads together. Didn’t hesitate using the belt. Whenever he’s reach for waste, automatic panic fill my heart. Most of the time he was just adjusting his shirt. He could fix anything. Build anything. He built a boat from scratch (pic). He was a hunter. He loved to hunt deer with a bow and arrow (pic). He wanted me to go with him, and I did. But I really didn’t like sitting up in a tree in freezing weather with my feet and hands getting numb—almost fell asleep and fell out of the tree many a time. He was funny. (pic) I still remember a couple of jokes he told us at the table when I was a kid. He loved his family. He was the spiritual leader in not only my immediate family, but in my extended family. Everyone on both sides of my family looked up to my dad. When Sue and I got married, he told us both, “look, if you guys get into a squabble, I’m telling you right now, Sue, I’m going to back you; I’m on your side no matter what.” It kind of made me mad at 1st, then I saw the wisdom of what he was doing. He knew that many a marriage has struggled because the daughter in law or son in law felt like a 2nd class citizen; unembraced, unaccepted, and unfavored next to the son or daughter. He knew that I would always know he loved me no matter what, but with this new daughter in law, she wouldn’t know that for a good while, so he wanted to make sure she knew it, and this was the way to let her know that she could rest securely in the relationship. 25 years later, when my kids got married, I told their spouses the same thing.
In July, 1982, Sue and I had been married a little over a year and were living in Albuquerque, brand new in the ministry. Sue was 4 months pregnant with Ben, our 1st born. It was a Tuesday morning. The day before, Dad had checked in the hospital and they had done a heart cath and discovered he had significant blockage in multiple arteries. They were going to do bypass surgery Tuesday morning, but sometime about 4 am he had a major heart attack. My mom called me and said I’d needed to get to Tulsa as quick as I could. I didn’t fully grasp what was happening. At the last minute, I told Sue I was going to pack a suit just in case, but I really didn’t think I’d need it. When your dad is Superman, you don’t think anything will take him out except being 100 yrs old. He was 58 yrs old. We caught the 1st flight out of Albuquerque for Tulsa, getting to the hospital about 10:00 that morning.
When I walked in the waiting room, I was still expecting to hear that they had done the bypass surgery and all would be well. But immediately I could tell by the faces of my cousins, aunts, uncles, mom, brother, that it was not good. The doctor wanted to know if I wanted to see him. He took me to a room where dad was laying on a padded table. He was unconscious; struggling to breathe. The nurse’s face said it all. I didn’t know what to do. Everything was crashing in around me. Fear was overcoming me. Pain was flooding my heart. I touched him for a moment on his chest. Then reached over, kissed him on the cheek, and told him I loved him. And then he was gone.
If you’ve ever lost a loved one, particularly suddenly, you know what I mean when I say, nothing really prepares you for the incredible anguish and the pain. At times you can’t breathe. The grief rolls over you like a 10’ wave. This fixture that has been a part of your life—all your life—is gone. It’s awful.
I said that nothing really prepares you for the anguish and pain, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be prepared to deal with it; to deal with the grief.
Turn to 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. We’ve been in a series that is giving us a great deal of help in dealing with the tragedies and trials of life. There are those times when our lives feel wrecked. Storms, betrayal, catastrophe—they are a part of life, aren’t they? And so is death. Death is a part of life
God wants us to be informed about death; if we have the truth, it will affect our view of death; if we have the proper view of death, it will affect how we grieve.
There are lots of myths out there about death and grieving:
Death ends our existence
We become angels
Death is a demotion; heaven a demotion
All losses are the same
Christians aren’t supposed to grieve
Grief is a lack of faith
Eventually won’t grieve any more
Everyone grieves the same way
Isn’t truth amazing? Truth sets us free; truth overcomes doubt; truth dispels fear. And this passage sheds light, sheds truth on death and grieving.
Let’s read. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (on screen)
Three critical pieces of information about grief:
1. Grieving is a part of life. v.13
If death is a part of life, then so is grief. Notice Paul uses the phrase “concerning those who have fallen asleep.” The term “asleep”: a euphemism for death. You know what a euphemism is don’t you? Webster defines a euphemism: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant
For whatever reason, Paul uses the softer term for death. After all, a dead person looks like he might be sleeping. Paul doesn’t shy away from using the word death in other passages, but here he is obviously trying to comfort those who were dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one.
One thing we have to assert here though, is that There is no such thing as soul sleep. There are those who erroneously look at this passage and 1 or 2 others and believe that there is some intermediate state a person goes to after death but before heaven. They would say, Hey, you know when you fall asleep, the next thing you know, it’s morning, right? It’s really been 8 hours, but you don’t know it. You fall asleep, and the very next thing you know, it’s morning. And they contend that for believers, when you die, you are in a state of soul sleep until the Lord returns and all believers go to heaven together.
The bulk of Scripture refutes such a notion. “For God did not app0int us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him.” 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10 “And we are confident and satisfied to be out of the body and at home with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:8 To be out of the body is to be at home with the Lord.
So Paul says here that death is real, and grieving those who’ve died is real. And why do we grieve? We grieve because we love. When you love someone, they take a place in your life; they hold a special prominence in your heart. And when they die, it leaves a huge hole. We grieve because we love, and when the object of our love dies, it hurts terribly. The greater the love, the greater the grief.
It’s unhealthy to resist grieving. Bill story….son drowned, 6 months later, went to the doctor with constant headaches and fatigue…ckd out, no problem. Doc went to his church, knew about son’s death. Said, “Let me see your billfold.” Had a picture of his wife. A pic of daughter. Doc said, “Where’s a picture of Drew?” Bill had it buried in the back where he wouldn’t see it. Doc said, “there’s your problem.” You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid to grieve, and that’s not healthy.
Grieving is a part of life. The shortest verse in the Bible is what? Jesus wept. He was at his good friend lazarus’ funeral. He looked around, saw the pain of mary and Martha and others, and grief overcame him and he wept. Grieving is a part of life, and if you avoid the pain, the grief, you will never experience the peace God wants you to have.
2. Grieving should include hope v.13-14
Notice that Paul says we will grieve, it’s a part of life. But our grief should contain something that non-believer’s don’t experience. And that’s hope. “so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope”
What is hope? Hope: a strong and confident expectation It’s the human notion that it’s going to be ok.
People can’t live w/o hope. Yesterday, a man gave up hope and killed himself. Last week a couple gave up hope on their marriage and divorced. We can’t make it through life without hope.
Paul says, “In your grieving, have hope; in your grieving, experience hope; in your grief have a strong and confident expectation. A strong and confident expectation of what? Look at v.14 “Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same way God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep through Jesus.”
Do you get this? When a loved one who is a Christ-follower dies, he or she goes immediately to be with the Lord. Their life doesn’t end; it’s really just beginning. They are infinitely better off than they ever were here on earth. They are in the presence of Jesus, where there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more tears, no more heartache, no more grief, no more sin—a place where there is infinite peace and infinite love and infinite joy.
And because that is our hope, WE can experience a measure of joy even in the midst of grief.
3. Grieving can give way to joy v.15-18
Joy? Pastor Russ, you say I can experience a measure of joy in my grief? Yes you can. God has wired the human heart so that when we trust His word and believe and act on the truth, that He supernaturally creates in us attitudes and emotions that nonbelievers cannot experience.
“Weeping may spend the night, but there is joy in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
That shows that those who trust in Him can move away from being grief stricken, to joy filled.
Look at the hope and joy we can find in this passage. Vv.15-18 (on screen)
There is a whole series of messages just in those verses. But let’s focus on why our grief can give way to joy.
Two reasons our grief can give way to joy:
1. Our great reunion with others
It says “we will be caught up together with them.” Together. My dad is with Jesus. And whether I die or Jesus returns, I will be reunited with him and with my mom. I’ll be reunited with them and all who I’ve known through the years who were Christ-followers. What a great reunion that is going to be. Just saying it brings a smile to my face and fills my heart with joy.
2. Our glorious future with Jesus
It says “we will meet the Lord in the air and so we will always be with the Lord.”
As wonderful as the great reunion will be, it won’t compare to the glorious future I will have in the presence of Jesus. I’ll be able to see Him face to face. I’ll be able to touch His nail-scarred hands. I’ll be able to touch His pierced side. I’ll be able to look into His deep loving eyes and feel like never before His infinite, perfect love. All my trials and tragedies and tests will be over. And I will be with Him, the Lover of my soul, forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
That’s why Paul says, “Comfort and encourage one another with these words.”
Are you encouraged today? I pray you are.
Another question: Are you prepared for death as a survivor? As a survivor, are you prepared to deal with the grief, the pain, the anguish of losing a loved one? Are you seeking Him daily, finding strength and faith in His word; placing Him at the center of your life rather than you spouse or family member so that when they are gone, your world doesn’t come crashing down around you?
The bigger question is: are you prepared for your own death? Notice that all this truth, all this hope, all this joy is reserved for those who are genuine Christ-followers. If that’s not you, if you’ve never surrendered to Jesus, and by faith taken His substitutionary death on the cross to cover you personal and awful sin, then none of this is for you. You’re lost in your sin; and your future is not with Jesus, but with the god of this world, Satan. Will you give your life, your soul, your future to Him right now?
Bow
