To Commit, Honor and Forgive
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (NLT)
for audio, video of this sermon, www.thecreekmonroe.com
Intro: I want to start the sermon this morning with a riddle. The riddle is:
. The perfect man, the perfect woman, the tooth fairy and Santa Claus are all in a car crash. Only one survived. Does anyone know who?
. The perfect woman of course. The others don’t exist.
. I’m sure that most of you ladies will agree with that .
. Don’t get too comfortable just yet.
. I did a survey among men and I came up with some things that the guys would like for the perfect women to hear.
1.Learn to work the toilet seat. you’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it
down.
2. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
3. Crying is blackmail
5. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
7. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
8.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
9. Shopping is not a sport and we will never think of it in that way.
10. If it itches, we will scratch. We are just made that way.
. Ladies we do love you and appreciate that you also can have a sense of humor.
. Valentines day is Today and I’m sure that you are already thinking of a way to show your valentine that you love them.
. Today is the love day.
. Some of us are as confused about love as little five-year-old Kari who told her teacher, “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
. The human love, the Eros love that we have for each other is different from the Agape love that we have for other people.
. The Agape love that God has for us and we should have for other people is one of care and concern for their well being and their eternity.
. While we do have this love for our spouse, we also have this Eros type of love.
. This is the root from where we get the word erotic.
. This is the sensual love between a husband and a wife. The love between people who are married.
. On this valentine's day, I want to share with you what God's word has to say about marriage.
. We are back in 1 Corinthians and God has the perfect scripture for us this Valentine's Day.
. We are entering into a section of 1 Corinthians where Paul answers specific questions that the Corinthian Christians had asked him.
. We assume Paul had received a letter asking for clarification on some issues that were in question. The first one was marriage.
. These were young Christians (in faith) and they wanted some guidance on marriage.
. Marriage in the Roman world was much different than it is for us today.
. Let me quickly explain.
. In the Roman world, slaves had no rights. They didn't even have the right to marry. The owner controlled what they did, even in this regard.
. If slaves wanted to be together, they would ask the owner if they could share a tent. The owner could allow it or not. This were called "tent companionship". nothing binding. this was called "contubernium"
. They had a common law marriage called "usus". when a man and woman had lived together for a year, they were considered married if they were not slaves.
. They had a marriage that was called "coemptio in manum" which involved the father selling his daughter to a perspective husband.
. The fourth marriage was called "confarreatio" which involved a ceremony and vows. Our marriage ceremonies today are modeled after this type.
. Divorce was rampant in the Roman world in all of these marriages. These new Christians were bringing all of this culture into the Church with them and they wanted to know what God had to say about marriage.
. Let's look at the first part of Paul's answer to this question.
. 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5
1Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.
2But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
3The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
4The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
5Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
. Paul tells them that if you can stay celibate, do it, because this will allow you to spend more time in your commitment to God.
. But if you cannot stay celibate, do not fall into the sexual immorality that is rampant in your world. Find a husband or wife to share your life with.
. Then he goes on to tell them three things that should be present in a marriage.
. The first thing he tells them should be in a marriage is:
. Commitment
. Look at verse 2 again
2But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
. You should commit to each other. No matter what happens.
. Commitment is almost a dirty word in our society today. We make agreements or contracts until they are not convenient for us anymore and then we want to break that commitment.
. It seems that many do not want to even commit to marriage anymore.
The number of unmarried couples living together has increased from 523,000 in 1970 to 7.6 million in 2011. This is according to the US Census bureau.
. Paul tells them that you must commit to one another.
. Throughout the Bible, God’s relationship to his people is talked about in terms of a marriage relationship.
. Commitment, love and passion are the elements of our relationship with God that parallel his design for marriage.
.Our marriages are to mirror our relationship with God. And the greatest thing that we experience from God is his commitment to us.
.God uses a marriage relationship to teach us about his commitment to us and our commitment to our marriages.
. God has the prophet Hosea marry a prostitute name Gomer. The first 3 chapters of the book of Hosea tell of the commitment that Hosea makes to Gomer and no matter what, Hosea fulfills that commitment.
.They had three children together and Gomer went back into a life of prostitution but Hosea kept his commitment and went after her and brought her home.
. Hosea was committed to the marriage that God had provided him. He fought for his marriage.
. I am reading a book by James Patterson right now titled "Judge and Jury" and in it one of the main characters talks about his relationship with his wife and how it seems to be deteriorating and he says this.
"Whatever it was, it was killing me how things were sliding downhill between us. But you either fight for it or you don't and lately neither of us was fighting."
. Folks, Paul tells the Corinthian church and us that we must commit to each other.
. We must be committed to each other and just like Hosea, we must be willing to fight for our marriage.
. Paul writes that we are not only to be committed to each other but we must also:
. Honor
. We must honor each other in our marriage.
Look at verse 4 with me.
4The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
. We must honor each other. I belong to you and you belong to me.
. In the wedding ceremony, I turn to the groom and say to him:
.“Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep yourself only to her so long as you both shall live?”
. And then I ask the bride the same question. We have all promised to honor each other. But what does that mean?
It means many things but most of all I will honor you and only you. The intimacy that God created between a husband and a wife brings honor to the marriage.
. I am yours and you are mine. I will honor that commitment and I will honor you by keeping myself for you and only you.
. I will honor and care for you. you are very valuable to me.
. When you value something, you treat it with special care. You handle it gently.
. I was talking to a guy and he was telling this story about his grandchildren.
. This is what he said.
.We have a lot of Tupperware we keep on a bottom shelf for our granddaughters to play with when they come. They get it out and throw it on the floor. They bang it and bop it, and leave it laying when they are through with it. But we don’t care, because it is cheap and we don’t even use it much.
.But the other day one of the girls took a special pitcher from a table in the living room. It is hand blown, colored glass which is valuable. It is a deep maroon color and is shaped beautifully with wonderful lines. When she grabbed it, everyone sort of lunged toward her and the pitcher. Her mom put her hands on both sides of the pitcher and said, “No, no, honey. This is not something to play with.
. This is very valuable.”
. The relationship between husband and wife is very valuable and not something to play with. Paul writes that we shaould honor each other in our marriages.
. Paul writes that while a marriage should have commitment and Honor, it should also have a measure of:
. Forgiveness
. Look at verse 5 with me again:
5Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
. Don't deprive each other of what God has given to you as a married couple.
. Your marriage should be a relationship of love and forgiveness, not one of punishment.
. I once read about an older woman who was celebrating her golden wedding anniversary. Someone asked what her secret was to a long and happy marriage.
. She said, “On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook.” One of the relatives jokingly asked her what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. She replied, .“To tell you the truth, I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, ‘Lucky for him that’s one of the ten!’”
. Our marriages must mirror the forgiveness that God has shown us.
Lucky for you that God has forgiven you. As you think of how many times God has forgiven you, it should make forgiveness in your marriage easier.
.You may feel that your husband or wife does not deserve to be forgiven — do you deserve to be forgiven by God? You may have been deeply hurt and wounded by your spouse — have you ever wounded the heart of God by what you have done?
. This is what forgiveness is all about. It is a model to the world of God’s relationship with us. We forgive each other for the injustices and hurts. We extend grace to each other for the petty grievances and annoying mannerisms. We overlook faults.
. Just as God forgives, we need to forgive our spouses.
. On this Valentine's Day, this day of love, how many here today would pray this prayer:
. Oh God, show me how to love my spouse. Increase my love for them. Help me to see them as you see them.
. Show me how I can meet their needs, even if my needs are not being entirely met. Help me to love as you love them. Lord, please love my spouse through me.
. Paul tells the Corinthian believers that their marriages should be based on Commitment, Honor and Forgiveness.
. Ours should also be based on these principles.
. Invitation
*** To my Christian brothers and sisters, thank you for taking the time to read this sermon. I ask that you take another second and score this for me. I am always open to feedback so that I can continue to grow in the proclamation of God’s word.
May God bless you as you continue to strive to walk worthy of His calling.
Sources: The Holy Bible, NLT
Rodney Buchanan; "God's Plan For Marriage", sermon central
